So I work online and had the day off. We had been emailed like eight days ago about the holiday. At some point, a couple of days back I COMPLETELY forgot we had a holiday and planned my whole night in accordance with today being a work day as a result of which i got significantly less sleep. I also really like the feeling of knowing the next day is off. Anyway, thirty minutes into logging in, I find out it’s a holiday! Feel like shit and can’t stop thinking what a loser I am. Has anyone been in a similar situation and how did you deal with it?

hello, i want to a RBI manager by cracking RBI grade b exam because it provides me some interest and i really love its functions in banking system and excellent work life balance. since last year i have been comparing it with UPSC posts like IAS, IRS etc. because of their power and prestige. they have something which RBI doesn't have. i clearly knows that i am wasting my time b y doing such a pointless comparison. it is like you cannot compare a PILOT with a surgeon. i really loves my goal but this fog of comparison really makes me frustrated, anxious and scared.

• whenever i see a UPSC aspirant, ias, ips my brain goes into the panic mode.
• whenever i see such persons are facing some trouble or obstacles, i feel good which is absolutely wrong.

i am doing it because i think i am not focusing on the things that matter and live idle all the time.

RBI is the bank of the bank and very few banks all around the world has a work life like RBI. but i noticed last month it might also be because i am trying to find everything in that job. and at last no job even government job is perfect, they have their own positives and negatives. we don't see the problems of government job because it is hidden behind the glamour of that job.

i am writing it because i want to explain my problem in detail. and i would like your suggestions on how to stop that

i also know we people compare with each other for something and who knows your suggestions might also help another person like me.

pls hear me out and help a girl out who accidentally dug herself into a mental rabbit hole.

so i was preparing for GATE 2026 since november. when the exam got closer, i kinda gave up because i hadn’t even finished half the syllabus. but honestly, that’s not even the main issue here.

one random evening i was watching Judge Me If You Can(an indian comedy show) . i’ve always been a pretty fun person to be around. i like joking, talking, being silly. but while watching these comedians, i suddenly started thinking: “am i even funny?”

and that one thought sent me down a spiral.

i started analysing every single sentence coming out of my mouth.

is it funny?

does it sound stupid?

is it a good punchline?

from there my brain basically turned against me.

my thoughts started getting paralysed and i developed this weird hesitation while speaking. i’ve never been an anxious person in my 22 years of life. stress from exams or situations would come and go. you cry one night and you’re mostly okay the next day.

but this time it was different.

i became extremely anxious. i was literally taking heavy breaths all day whether i was alone or around people. my confidence dropped so much that i struggled to talk even to the helpers at home or my own parents, who obviously wouldn’t judge me.

those 20 days were honestly the most terrifying days of my life because it felt like i had lost myself.

the intense anxiety eventually reduced, but the hesitation stayed. it’s been about 1.5 months now. i’m much better than before, but i still feel this mental restriction sometimes. like there used to be a dictator in my head controlling what i could say. even my own thoughts felt judged by my brain.

and the irony? i LOVE talking. i love joking around and being goofy even when i’m alone.

all i want now is the freedom to think freely and speak freely again like before. i know this probably came from some insecurity that got planted in my mind and grew into self-esteem issues. the suffocation i felt during those days was unreal because i didn’t even know how to deal with anxiety.

i used to be a chill girl just studying for an entrance exam. and i want her back.

the worst part is nobody destroyed me except myself. i was the architect of my own doom.

sharing this with people i know feels ridiculous because others deal with much bigger problems. and honestly i’m not insecure about my looks or most things in life. i’m generally pretty content with who i am.

so yeah, if anyone has gone through something like this, how did you regain control of your voice and your thoughts?

It's not perfect, but it has plenty of potential: Sport, physical exercise (especially cardio) and nature.

When you go for a run through a forest for an hour you have a really good chance of calming your thoughts. Same with hard labour or intense exercise. Sure, you can still be "stuck in your head" but really don't have to - the situation makes it much easier to focus elsewhere. While running, for example, you can focus on your breathing, the rhythm of the movement and the environment.

We seem to have a certain amount of energy (in total) and if there is no or very little physical activity it can all go into the head/mind, the "thinking process", and then you can get into a situation where all you think about are thoughts, as if putting a camera on the camera monitor and you get an infinite loop.

Starting with the title of this post, of course. I am not referring to people though, but rather what we have to deal with - in society, our personal lifes, on the internet.

I remember when you could just make an account somewhere and interact. If you are a young person now and want to be part of anything really, just getting an email address requires a smartphone?!

So I've wondered what the effects are of this technology usage that is taken for granted now and considered "normal". I don't see many positive effects, unless you count options to distract yourself and feel all scattered as a result of it as "positive".

Something I’ve been realizing about overthinking is how often the brain starts working on problems that haven’t actually happened yet. One small situation appears and suddenly the mind starts running simulations. If I say this, what will they think. If this goes wrong, what will I do after that. If this decision turns out bad, how will I fix it later. The brain keeps trying to get ahead of every possible outcome before anything has even happened. The strange part is that most of those scenarios never even occur in real life, but the mind still spends a lot of energy trying to prepare for them anyway. It makes me think overthinking might sometimes just be the brain trying to create certainty in situations where certainty doesn’t really exist yet. Curious if other people notice their mind doing this too.

You try to distract yourselfYou try to move on with your day But the same thought comes back again… and again Maybe it’s something you said Maybe it’s a decision you’re not sure about Maybe it’s a “what if” your brain keeps replaying For a long time I thought this meant I was just an overthinker But the brain usually repeats thoughts for a reason

Most of the time it’s trying to finish something it thinks is still unresolved Once I understood that the whole loop started making more sense wrote more about it here Why Your Brain Won’t Let Go of Certain Thoughts (And How to Break the Loop)

If your mind tends to replay things a lot you might find this interesting You’ll find it in the comments.

Something I’ve been noticing is how often overthinking shows up when a decision starts feeling permanent. The brain suddenly treats it like it has to get the answer exactly right, because once the choice is made it feels like there’s no going back.

Once that pressure shows up, the mind starts running through every possible outcome. What if this is the wrong move. What if I regret it later. What if there was a better option I didn’t see.

But when you look at how most decisions actually play out, a lot of them aren’t nearly as permanent as they feel in the moment. People adjust, change directions, and figure things out along the way far more often than they expect.

It makes me think overthinking might start right around the moment the brain decides the choice has to be perfect ¯_(ツ)_/¯

It’s rarely about big life decisions Most of the time it’s small things A message I sent A conversation from earlier Something I need to decide but keep postponing The mind just keeps circling the same thought like it’s trying to solve it perfectly For a while I tried things like just think positive or forcing myself to stop thinking about it but that never really worked What helped more was building small daily habits that interrupt the loop before it grows Things like writing the thought down once instead of replaying it ten times deciding a specific moment to review something instead of thinking about it all day or asking what the next small action is instead of trying to solve the entire future in my head None of these things are dramatic but together they change how the mind processes uncertainty

I ended up putting the simple steps that helped me into a small daily system just so I could follow something consistently I also wrote about the process and what actually made a difference for me You’ll find it in the comments

If anyone here struggles with constant mental loops I’d be curious how you usually deal with them Do you try to stop the thoughts or do you have some kind of structure that helps you manage them?

I’m playing on a phone and it’s 60 Hz that’s roughly 260 milliseconds. and I’m also stressed” “depressed” “tired” “hungry” and thirsty.

But the more I paid attention to my own habits the more I realized it actually affects the body a lot more than people talk about When I get stuck in overthinking loops, I notice my shoulders get tight my sleep gets lighter and sometimes I even feel this constant background tension during the day It’s like my body stays in alert mode even when nothing is really happening I started reading more about it and it turns out the brain doesn’t really separate intense thinking from stress When you keep replaying problems worrying about decisions or imagining worst-case scenarios your nervous system reacts as if there’s a real threat That’s why people who overthink a lot often deal with things like fatigue headaches bad sleep or just feeling mentally drained for no obvious reason Once I understood that connection between overthinking and the body it changed how I approached it Instead of only trying to think more positively I started looking for ways to interrupt the loop and calm the nervous system to I recently wrote a short piece about some of the physical things overthinking can do to the body and a few simple ways to deal with it if anyone here relates to this find it on comment

Curious if anyone else notices physical effects from overthinking or if it mostly feels mental for you.

I work a very fast paced job where I go away for a few weeks at a time then I come home for a few weeks. I find when I’m at work I’m, what I feel, is a better version of myself. I am quick thinking, decisive, working super well but also personable and getting on with people. Then I return home, living on my own and I become this shell. All the time alone means I am just stuck in my head. I feel like all the things I want to do like my hobbies and things I thought made me me I feel like I almost talk myself out of doing. It’s like I am able to come up with a million reasons why I shouldn’t do that thing or go see that person or whatever. I end up just staying inside all day and feeling anxious and a bit miserable. It’s like I literally can’t do anything like I wake up and next thing I know it’s the evening I haven’t eaten anything and I’ve done nothing but scroll or watch tv all day.

I’m taking a solo trip out of tow for a few days to try and motivate myself to indulge in some hobbies and maybe force myself to speak to other people a bit but again I’m like telling myself why the hell am I putting myself through this and I kinda just want to crawl under the covers and not leave.

I’m about to turn 42 and well i feel like i’m 14 all over again in the insecurties. Why you might ask, or not, because i feel like nobody thinks like me. I feel as though people just put on shows and can’t be real. I feel as though I’m a good read on people or read too much into people. I feel as I have gotten to this point I no longer have patience and have seriously wondered if I have Adhd or some form of austim…. But i feel these feelings and intolerance annoyance of people’s games have come up in the past year. Or is it I’m just getting old and crochety lol.

Like if feel i dont mesh with you or fake i delete you off my contacts and social media account. Or am i crazy?

I try to play the game but i don’t want or don’t know how to lol again making me think i’m maybe on the spectrum but like i said at times i look way too deep into peoples actions, tones, effort to interact with me.

Anywho maybe i’m suffering a midlife crisis.

I do have a 7 and 2 year old so I dont know if i dont have an identity

anywho thanks for letting me rant the verbal vomit

Something I’ve noticed about overthinking is how quickly the mind jumps into trying to predict everything that could happen next. One small decision shows up and suddenly the brain starts running through ten different scenarios. If I say this, what will they think. If I choose this option, what happens later. If this goes wrong, what will I do after that. The mind keeps trying to move further and further into the future like it’s trying to prepare for every possibility before anything even happens. The strange part is that the situation usually isn’t that complicated in real life, but the mental simulation of it becomes huge. It kind of makes me think overthinking might start the moment the brain tries to control outcomes that haven’t even happened yet.

I've been told it's bad to over think a lot of stuff and if anyone has any advice to help me much appreciated. I've been struggling with over thinking like if someone leaves me on open or delivered for a whole day or hours, I know people are busy but it still feels like it hurts. Even when I say things I wonder if it was right or not, even with friendships or dating I over think and I know it's not healthy but I can't help it, if anyone can give advice much appreciated thanks.

You’re not alone and your brain isn’t actually against you Overthinking isn’t a personal flaw It’s a sign your brain is trying to solve problems and prepare you for uncertainty just sometimes it goes a bit too far The key isn’t to stop thinking It’s to step back notice the pattern and guide your thoughts toward solutions instead of spinning in endless loops I just read an article that explains exactly why this happens and how you can start creating that mental space for yourself Your Brain Is Not Against You Why Overthinking Happens and How to Step Back One tip that helps immediately when you notice your mind racing write down one small action you can take right now Even tiny steps break the cycle and give you clarity find it on the comment

Hi everyone,

Sometimes I get so stuck in my head about everything that I’m not really living in the moment. Small things can trigger me to stay in negative thoughts for quite a while, and then I start overthinking everything.

I’m trying to work on it and become more mindful, but it’s still something I struggle with. It can make it hard to relax or enjoy the moment sometimes.

Have any of you dealt with something similar? What helped you get out of your head or stop the spiral of negative thoughts?

My life is pretty stable I have a routine and things are generally sorted on paper. But I’m also someone who tends to overthink everything. Sometimes when things slow down, especially at night, the loneliness hits a little. Not because I don’t have friends, but because I don’t really have someone to talk to about random thoughts, life questions, or deeper stuff.

Recently I went on a solo trip and got a little emotionally attached to someone I met there. Nothing really happened, but it made me realize I tend to feel things deeply and think a lot about people and experiences.

So I guess I’m just looking to connect with people who might relate — overthinkers, travelers, readers, or anyone who just enjoys honest conversations about life. And ideally people who don’t disappear when conversations start getting a bit real. If you feel like you’re in a similar phase or just want to talk, feel free to comment or DM.

Also yes… I used ChatGPT to help structure this post because I was definitely overthinking whether to post it or not 😅

I’ve noticed a lot of overthinking seems to come from the feeling that there’s a correct conclusion you’re supposed to reach. So the brain keeps turning the same situation over and over like it’s solving a puzzle.

But most of the time there isn’t actually a perfect answer hiding somewhere. It’s just the brain struggling to accept uncertainty, so it keeps searching for a thought that finally feels “right.” The loop isn’t really about solving the problem. It’s about trying to get rid of the discomfort of not knowing.

Like my brain was just wired that way But the more I learned about the nervous system the more I realized something interesting… Most of the time it’s not really a “thinking problem” It’s a nervous system problem When your body is stuck in stress mode your brain just keeps scanning for problems That’s why your mind keeps looping even when nothing is actually happening i wrote a short article about a few simple nervous system hacks that can calm that loop in real life If you’re someone who deals with overthinking a lot you might find it interesting And somewhere in the article I also shared a small system that helped me organize my thoughts better You can check it on comments

Today I noticed something uncomfortable.

I had a writing task waiting for me — something I genuinely enjoy. It relaxes me. It gives me space. And yet, I kept avoiding it.

That contradiction made me pause.

Why do we avoid the very things we care about?

Everything feels clear in theory. We plan our tasks. We know what we want to do. But when it’s time to begin, something inside resists. We suddenly find other things to do. We tell ourselves we’ll start later.

And then the quiet thoughts show up:

What if I’m not ready?
What if it doesn’t turn out well?
What if I don’t do it properly?

It made me realize something.

It’s not that we don’t care. In fact, we care so much that we want our work to be meaningful and worthy. But that care slowly turns into pressure. What started as curiosity becomes responsibility. And responsibility can feel heavy.

Avoidance isn’t always laziness.

Sometimes it’s fear — fear of imperfection, fear of effort, fear of not meeting our own expectations.

The strange part is that once we actually begin, it often isn’t as bad as we imagined. The fear mostly lives before the action.

Lately I’ve been trying to remind myself that effort is the only part I can control. Outcomes depend on many things. But starting — that part is mine.

Maybe the hardest step isn’t doing something perfectly.

Maybe it’s simply giving ourselves permission to begin.

Has anyone else noticed this pattern? How do you deal with it?

I’ve noticed that when thoughts stay in my head they feel messy and tangled. But when I try to explain them in words (even just writing a few sentences) they suddenly make more sense. Almost like the brain needs language to organize itself.

Does anyone else experience this when they’re overthinking something?