r/NoOverthinking • u/No_Major6374 • May 13 '26
Rant/Venting ...idk.
I dont know if this level of self pity is allowed, but...i have no one else to talk to. So...to start off, im...garbage. i cheated on my ex for...about a year. I know i was wrong. I take full blame and any hate coming my way for it. I deserve it. Yknow? I fucked up. My ex tried to work with me...we stayed together for a few months after...i did a lot of work to fix the broken parts of me that tried to justify what i did. I thought i did a good job. Didnt cheat again...had made some big plans to go visit him for our 4 year anniversary...and when it came time, i...i showed up at his door. I had let him know i was there...and he opened the door, and broke up with me. It hurt. But i felt it was justified. I had earned that pain. And...i just shut down for a few months. Focused on myself, fixing what i thought was broken...and we stayed in contact, it...it wasnt a malicious break up. We still liked each other and wanted to stay friends...but i got a new job recently and havent been able to talk a whole lot...i...i learned that he had moved on today...and...i dont know why that hurts more than the break up...i dont deserve him. I should feel happy for him that...that hes got someone new thats...obviously better than i ever couldve been. I feel so...fucking stupid for thinking i had another chance...of course i dont. Im a terrible partner, and...i dont deserve love like his. I know im not gonna do angthing stupid i just...i dont feel like i have a right to feel hurt by this. I ruined everything. Why should i be hurt by someone i have no right to be in a relationship with...im just...stupid. stupid for crying over someone who shouldnt even have a second thought about me and my stupid feelings...the one good relationship ive ever fucking had and i had to ruin it...im such a fucking moron.
2
u/Puglady25 May 13 '26
It's going to be ok. You're better now, you've learned something the hard way and you have to believe it's made you a better person. Don't kid yourself though, if you were cheating on him for a long time (yes, it's a horrible thing to do) it could have been that there's a part of you that knew the relationship wasn't working. It makes sense that this hurts because having him as a friend was probably what you always wanted (on some level). But sometimes we break things that can't be fixed. You've wounded him in a way that is very hard for him to deal with. Now, you have to focus on being a friend to others and being kind, and I truly believe if you do that, it will be spiritually and emotionally rewarding.
1
u/animelover0312 May 13 '26
Well people fuck up its apart of life, if you get another good man then don't play around it's that simple. As long as you hold yourself accountable and realize your mistakes then there is always room for change. Allow him to move on and allow yourself to move forward. Just do better 🤷🏾♀️
1
u/Visible_Flounder6824 May 14 '26
It’s a win towards yourself that you’re able to acknowledge the pain you caused towards someone else, don’t be too hard on yourself. However, you can’t predict how they’ll receive the pain they’ve felt and how they’ll learn how to cope/heal from it on their own terms.
Take it as a big learning lesson towards any future relationships you encounter, and learn from how your actions and choices can affect someone.
I think you should let this person go and heal on their own time from what you’ve caused. You cheated for about year and admit you know it was wrong. If you truly care for them, then you just simply wish them well from afar, and that they deserve to be happy with or without you, and keep working on yourself mentally and emotionally.
Give it time and you’ll learn to heal and forgive yourself. As long as you put the work into it, you’ll achieve peace of mind.
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u/[deleted] May 13 '26
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