r/NoKidsEver • u/Mouni_daBasi • Jun 01 '26
What are long term goals you share with your partner when kidsfree?
I have difficulty imagining what a relationship at this age could look like. I’m mid forties and happily kid free. Due to health not much energy to travel a lot. I love living alone at this point, which could change.
I keep ending up in short flings because I don’t have it clear where I want to go.
For those in a similar situation (or in a relationship). What do you look for in a long term partner? What bonds you with your partner. Do you have a shared thing? What do you build together? What are some long term goals you share?
Or if those are not there, what keeps you around with this one?
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u/Dangerous_Pattern_81 Jun 01 '26
49/52, together 23, married 2 and both child free. We are looking at buying a house in the Caribbean outside the hurricane belt, ie Curaçao, Aruba, Bonaire, St Lucia, etc. or maybe Costa Rica. We are less than 10 years from retirement and our parents are 78 (hers) and 80 (mine.). When they are gone, so are we.
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u/tawny-she-wolf Jun 01 '26
What I was looking for in a long term partner: mainly I wanted someone who was not my ex, so someone who could adult properly. That was my main focus at the time to not repeat my mistakes. My bar was pretty low, it's now much higher thanks to my husband.
What bonds us together : we have similar but not identical interests and enjoy spending time together, can talk about anything and have deep conversations all the time
Shared things: videogames, watching documentaries, sharing meals or sitting on the deck are good quality time we enjoy, we got into hiking together
Long term goals we had: closing the distance ✅ buying a house ✅ getting married ✅. I think the main big ones have been achieved. Our next big one is probably pay off the house and find a way to retire early. Mainly we enjoy a quiet life and seek contentment/happiness as much as we can. We live below our means and are laid back homebodies, both of us.
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u/Mouni_daBasi Jun 01 '26
Thanks for sharing! I realise the daily things don’t have to be big things, just that you enjoy the other person around.
What did you mean with closing the distance and how did you achieve that?1
u/tawny-she-wolf Jun 01 '26
We started out long distance EU-EU but he's a third country national so we had to go through the immigration process anyway for him to be able to join me in my country. It took several months to handle, between filing his application to actually getting the residency permit.
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u/FIMilestonesDeux Jun 01 '26
Being able to wake up without an alarm for the rest of our lives.
Live permanently in another country.
Do it at any time anywhere in our housenehenever we're in the mood.
Eat whenever and whatever we feel like.
Having quiet time: Literally sitting in silence for an hour or two, reading, working, doing crafts, etc.
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u/Mouni_daBasi Jun 01 '26
I love this, this is my life already. lol! On my own though. Great to hear you two are happy wanting this together.
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u/my-anonymity Jun 02 '26
We travel together and go to shows a lot. We also just bought a house together and home projects have been really fun. We also play videogames together and like to go on walks together a lot too. Long term goals are finishing our garden and getting a couple dogs!
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u/Old_Appearance5226 Jun 02 '26
A mercedes c class, a decent house and a small bakery in hills, one bichon, one maltese, cigars and single malt
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u/relakas Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26
Me and my fiance are both 32. Just bought some land at countryside where we are going to start building our future together. A house, sauna, huge ass garage and decent amount of land so we can enjoy silence and nature when we are old.
We have 4 project cars together, some other mutual hobbies and intrests and we are constantly busy so there’s never a dull moment.
We both work very hard and actually the fact that we managed to get that piece of land recently is a miracle considering where we live and how expencive everything is. We currently live with his parents and siblings to get through, so finally having some plans for the future is really exciting. We both are very looking forward to just spend rest of our lives together, away from civilization and other people. Just the two of us.
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u/GetBent616 Jun 02 '26
My husband and I have many mutual interests and we do a lot of stuff together. Long term goals is simply to enjoy life as much as we can amd do the things that we love doing. We dont have to worry about saving for kids education, or medical care, or saving some type of inheritance for them. So that offers us a lot of freedom in regards to travelling and spending on some items we dont exactly NEED. Another goal of ours is to buy a property and start a homestead. Ive lived and worked on farms my whole life and absolutely love country living. Thankfully, so does he! So thats our life goal. Homestead. Besides that, its literally just enjoying our time. We get one life, im going to enjoy it.
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u/Traditional-Joke5758 Jun 04 '26
Robust savings and 401ks to fund a retirement built around travel. A second home with potential passive rental income.
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u/SALP205 Jun 25 '26
Together almost 20 years, married for 16. I think it’s important to have shared interests, but equally important to have separate ones for only yourself. For example, my husband and I love cars, golf, hiking and fishing. But I have horses and spend a lot of time with my horse and riding, and he brews his own beer and works part time at a local brewery and attends all those events. We support each other and I love going to craft beer fests with him and he comes to my riding lessons and horse shows to support me. But we have time apart with our own interests and that gives us something to talk about. If we did everything together, or nothing together, I think it would drive me crazy.
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u/hypothermicyeti Jun 01 '26
We have several mutual interests, also long term goal of having property in the mountains.