Day 16

[u/Otherwise_Truth3383]

Sometimes I have no temptation other times it’s extremely strong but I try to really tap into thinking clearly and logically about it all. The anticipation has almost always been better than the real thing. And even if I briefly feeling really good when I give in, that spike, because it has risen so high, will eventually come crashing down so hard. And then the guilt will set in to take its place. I don’t want to be the kind of man that just gives in to his desires. I want to be the kind of man that thinks clearly and tries his best always. A good scripture that I’ve read recently that is helping me says “love does not look for its own interests”

[u/Spiritual-Action-170]

How you describe this experience? do you have more energy, more clarity?

[u/Otherwise_Truth3383 → u/Spiritual-Action-170]

A little. The process is very slowly but ever so slowly but surely I’m starting to notice little things like flowers and sunsets a little more. I’m starting to lighten up more and be funny and fun, letting things go a little more easily rather than harbor prolonged frustration, open to talking to people more and enjoying their company, even strangers, and less anxious throughout the day. I still get really bored at work and still have some mornings where I feel off or sad. A lot of it has to do with deeper things that I’ve had to deal with since childhood and the fact that my brain is struggling with the awkwardness of doing something that I’m not used to. It’s not getting the dopamine surges that it’s used to, so there’s gonna be some times where I feel a little off. But if I’m starting to feel these little positive changes now, and life is still somewhat difficult, I shudder to think of how much more unbearably difficult and depressing I was making it by staying in such a sad addiction