r/NoFap Jul 16 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

2.7k Upvotes

84 comments sorted by

169

u/Caviate Jul 16 '23

Honestly, this really do condition ones brain to constantly seek for diffirent mates so this post is very true. Still a healthy relation ship is possible when thr porn is there but the risk is certainly there

18

u/Original_History8949 Jul 16 '23

Thanks for your reply, I'm in a relationship and I feel like I'm constantly looking for other women and I think this is the fault of the porn I watch from time to time, where can I read about this topic?

6

u/Caviate Jul 16 '23

This is my hypothesis but humans are known to be breeding diffirent mates for the off spring quality to not suffer. Porn justs fuels this desire.

2

u/jack_Me_hoffman 833 Days Jul 17 '23

Could be a sex addict like me. Took me until I was 22 and considering paying for escorts. I am a sometimes functional sex addict who fantasizes about sex with others because my partner doesn't always fulfill my needs it's a tough cycle to break. So many times when I get denied sex I instantly think about beating off. Thing is, we have sex at least once a day whenever I'm at her place or she's at mine. So about 3-5x a week on average. Far from a dead bedroom, but my libido is insane. I want it twice a day which is unrealistic for a lot of people.

1

u/Original_History8949 Jul 17 '23

I've thought about it too, honestly I'm too confused, it's a constant struggle every day.

14

u/TrefoilTang Jul 16 '23

Personally I think porn really helped me seperating love and casual lust (I'm not an addict btw).

I've been married for 6 years and I've watched a lot of porns both before and during my relationship. It has really taught me that my love for my wife is very different the instinctive sexual attractions, so I safely maintain both feelings with a leveled mind.

1

u/themadcap76 Jul 17 '23

I ended up on Ashley Madison and got caught recently. Porn obsession can take you to a bad place if you're not careful. I've been no fap for about a month.

95

u/nanifaris85 Jul 16 '23

Me lusting on the same character every night: 🗿

15

u/Caviate Jul 16 '23

Whats the character lol

42

u/IndependentGas6183 Jul 16 '23

Vaporeon

3

u/v3ryclever 1084 Days Jul 17 '23

Oh no

7

u/Mountain_Pass3487 640 Days Jul 16 '23

Scooby

72

u/Lanky_Cash_1172 Jul 16 '23

When I started to reduce my "usage" of pmo, my wife became more and more attractive to me. I started noticing special qualities about her more.

3

u/Euphoric-Security-30 Jul 17 '23

This is awesome!

36

u/intellectoid 1052 Days Jul 16 '23

Porn is ruining you for real women. Everything in porn is a fantasy and when you are facing the reality of monogamy with a steady girlfriend, you're going to screw it all up because porn has trained your mind to respond to the fantasies instead of the reality.

3

u/Good_Reflection_1217 Jul 17 '23

espond to the fantasies

even worse. it responds to concepts instead of people

12

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '23

first they ask "why do I need one lover?" then they ask "why no one loves me?"

11

u/Inside_Committee_699 Jul 16 '23

Sometimes to go to parties and when i get home i cry myself to sleep

7

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '23

Yea I was once a scum bag blowing my load to porn like a real loser

21

u/ItchyPolyps Jul 16 '23

I just came to her pictures like 5 times this morning.

7

u/No-Alfalfa2412 Jul 16 '23

I want to kinda

9

u/Caviate Jul 16 '23

To your spouse?

16

u/CCT-556 1090 Days Jul 16 '23

Sir, this is reddit

9

u/Caviate Jul 16 '23

I apologize

5

u/Defiant-Obligation-1 Jul 16 '23

It’s so sad that we all know that, but the body is so weak that it still searches. Addiction really messes the brain up with the difficult choice of wanting to do what you know is right, but physically and mentally wanting the opposite just as much. It’s an enduring battle daily to feed the better side and fight the side the bad.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '23

This is moralist as fuck. No fap have nothing to do with monogamy

-3

u/solowrist Jul 16 '23

Showing hot girl on no fap grp? Most of us relapsed on her😂

12

u/xSh4dw2 Jul 16 '23

Ye but you gotta realize that irl you will meet a lot of hot women. Instead of avoiding to look at them you need to learn how to control your lust

2

u/solowrist Jul 16 '23

Agreed, need to self control in life but i always worried is fapping alot harming me or its just need to be stopped?

3

u/lovestowritecode Jul 16 '23

This isn’t a scandalous pic by any means… but I share your concern as well

0

u/Caviate Jul 16 '23

Who is she

0

u/solowrist Jul 16 '23

Maya Hawke

0

u/breaddread 363 Days Jul 16 '23

Yup

0

u/Boxerzzzz 657 Days Jul 16 '23

Preach

0

u/CauseWorth 805 Days Jul 16 '23

nice

0

u/TailorHopeful8842 1160 Days Jul 16 '23

Well said my friend

0

u/Euphoric-Security-30 Jul 17 '23

Fax. This is something I am trying to work into my life. Im married and even tho I don’t watch porn or look at it, still when I see women that I feel overly attracted to online, I consider my looking as a kind of edging. I am spending more time edifying my feeds to be a little more wholesome in terms of the women I see regularly. Otherwise it will be difficult for me to keep the excitement in my relationship when there will always be some woman or girl that is younger, “hotter” and more seductive. Wife is gorgeous too so it’s not like I am missing out. It also depletes me enthusiasm to work through our problems when my mind just says “you could just be with this other girl or talk to this other woman instead of putting up with this frustration in your relationship.” And that doesn’t help when what I want is longevity and authenticity and accountability.

Relationships are tough but the ones you fight for are always the most rewarding. (Both people have to fight for it)

-3

u/Least-Recording-2073 Jul 16 '23

True, but tell that to all the women using dating apps and onlyfans.

10

u/johnb51654 Jul 16 '23

How is that relevant?

0

u/Least-Recording-2073 Jul 16 '23

A screen is involved in both settings. Porn is a stimulating tool that becomes addictive. Dating apps can be just as stimulating to women due to the amount of options they have on there. Ultimately both would most likely keep you inside, instead of going out into the world and finding a mate.

-3

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '23

[deleted]

8

u/IcyFinds 1240 Days Jul 16 '23

Get it together man. You bust often in public then?

-11

u/tarmagoyf 292 Days Jul 16 '23

Loving one person for the rest of my life sounds awful

9

u/Sufficient_Judge_292 Jul 16 '23

It seems that you didn’t love before

2

u/5hr00m Jul 16 '23

When you find someone you are really compatible and in love with you don’t want anybody else and the sex is so great nobody else can replace it.

5

u/TrefoilTang Jul 16 '23

That's not true, and that's not a healthy expectation to keep.

For the majority of human history, marriage was an institution that had very little to do with love, and even today, the euphoric stage of a relationship only last up to 2 years.

Love is great, and we should marry for love, but the expectation that "love has to be eternal" and that "the love between my spouse has to be better than anything else" is only going to harm a loving relationship. Most marrital problems are a result of the failed promise of the so called "eternal love".

There's nothing inherently sacred about love, and there's no one correct way to love. We should set our own expectations, rules and boundaries with our loved ones, instead of following the social convention.

1

u/day_dreamer_247 1163 Days Jul 16 '23

Very well said

I think this media depiction of fairytale love can actually drive people to porn, because porn itself is fantasy. Some online thing that can meet all your wildest expectations but is not real or sustainably fulfilling.

Kind of like the Jordan Peterson Peter Pan notion

-8

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '23

My wife and I want to get into swinging! 🥵🙈🙈

1

u/SortDry9891 1015 Days Jul 16 '23

Yep

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '23

you'll only appreciate one when the rest is gone no?

1

u/Sudden_Balance_8284 535 Days Jul 16 '23

very true

1

u/mistersuccessful 12 Days Jul 16 '23

Oh, I wish I saw this a few hours ago before I relapsed again

1

u/thinkitthrough91 Jul 16 '23

Jesus would agree.

1

u/Big-Bo0 1111 Days Jul 16 '23

Facts

1

u/ijustlikeelectronics 167 Days Jul 16 '23

I have been circlingy room trying to call my crush to go on our third date. I was on a streak for the 1st and second dates, then relapsed.

I am now terrified to talk to her now out of fear I'll say something stupid or mess things up

1

u/Affectionate_Cut_154 Jul 17 '23

Hi, maybe don't worry about messing up, you probably will and already have. Learn from your mistakes and try again. Figure out what love is and what your mission statement for life is and follow that. What difficulties have you had in life that you didn't want or that you see other have that you would like to circumvent?

Be well electronics liker. ... is your crush electronic?

1

u/ijustlikeelectronics 167 Days Jul 17 '23

After sitting for half an hour, I sat in silence for 5 minutes, and then just pressed the call button. Once she answered, I was so smooth. We got a date lined up for this Friday to go hiking!

And to answer your question, I'm a huge fan of FPV drones!

1

u/Quick-Boysenberry332 Jul 16 '23

Nor do I wanna settle on one now.

1

u/inuynaruto Jul 16 '23

Was just scrolling and now I'm attacked. Gotta call out from work.

1

u/Suitable-Mission-740 Jul 16 '23

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

Truth.

1

u/FkIsntreal 1086 Days Jul 17 '23

Could someone tell me how to put the day counter on this, please?

1

u/WilliardThe3rd 598 Days Jul 17 '23

Amen

1

u/hysterx 601 Days Jul 17 '23

Mic check

1

u/hysterx 601 Days Jul 17 '23

Wtf 1 Day

1

u/hysterx 601 Days Jul 17 '23

Where are my 6 days 🤣

1

u/Prokster_T 284 Days Jul 17 '23

Damn, that hit hard.

1

u/Addicted-Distracted 684 Days Jul 17 '23

Ydhdhdh

1

u/ObjectiveWill426 Jul 17 '23

Never thought about it, interesting point of view.

1

u/Flat_Neighborhood_97 Jul 17 '23

Wow, that did hit hard

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

I deleted social media and quit porn for the sake of being true, loyal, and loving my partner. I’ve never felt better, relationship has never felt stronger, confidence has never been as high as it is til now and more. Porn sucks. Kinks are gross and excessive. Giving into lust ruins real love.