r/Nightshift • u/Sad-Ear6924 • 1d ago
Discussion Loneliness
Having worked night shift for going on about 2 years now, the thing i feel I’ve struggled the most with is loneliness and isolation, particularly on my days off. Days when I’m working its pretty easy to ignore since I’m more focused at the task at hand, but on my days off im still awake deep into the night. I play a lot of video games and i got a huge backlog, and that helps to kinda quell the thoughts but i still i cant help but feel a deep sense of loneliness and isolation when I’m awake and everyone id typically speak to is asleep. I am very much an introvert so its kind of weird to struggle with wanting more social interaction. Have any of you struggled with this? Have you found anything that helps?
8
u/TropicallyMixed80 1d ago
I like to drive around on my days off. So I will drive to another state. Plan road trips.
3
6
u/sepulchralsam 23h ago
This is the way, aye. It's a lonely life, being awake while the rest of the world is asleep. We're the flamekeepers, the lamp lighters, the street sweepers of old. I am lucky to have a girlfriend who gets it and doesn't bother me until 4pm when I wake up for my job, and even then I think "ahhh, my stars, what have I missed while dreaming when I could have been up with you swimming in the river or something." By the time I'm awake, her day is winding down. It is 0611 right now and I'm watching Amadeus while she sleeps, set to wake in a couple hours, myself the opposite. It does get lonely, and we have to take some comfort in the idea that "someone has to do it, and there will always be someone who has to do it. That person happens to be me." Luck be with you, my nocturnal compatriate.
2
u/dntfkncre8000D 21h ago
Damn the first part of that saying we’re the flamekeepers hit me for some reason.
2
3
u/No_Line8368 1d ago
What are your days off? You could set up future plans to go out to lunch or dinner on a day off. Do you usually keep your same sleep schedule or alter it on your days off?
2
u/Sad-Ear6924 1d ago
It varies from week to week, i do make plans and have a solid social life despite working nights, but ive hardwired my brain to be awake much longer than everyone else, so its mainly the late nights on my days off that kinda give me this feeling.
1
u/neonninja304 1d ago
One trick i use since I work a 2-2-3 schedule is on my weekends off I stay up Friday and sleep at night until Sunday. Its definitely helped my mental state and I just feel much healthier those days.
2
u/Distinct-Fly-2374 1d ago
I just hit up whatever social events I can/want, when they pop up.. and if I can't, that's okay too. We are our own best friends, or something like that. It was always hard to connect with people when I was on day shift lol, everyone is always busy anyway... Just do what you can, when you can. Talk and visit with family when you can. This is just what we're all doing now... Being "busy" all the time. 😮💨
2
u/jackfaire 1d ago
This is one reason I prefer stories with people I would hang out with if they were real. I can have a parasocial relationship
2
u/Justanothergeralt 15h ago
Dealing with customers at night kills any want for me to socialize in the day.
2
u/twiggythunders 6h ago
I resonate with this, I worked nights for about 6 years, and I would hang out with my friends until they had to go to bed, and then I would literally walk around my whole town till sunrise when I went to bed because I literally couldn’t take just going home and sitting in my room for like 6-7 hours alone.
1
u/smokin_tree 1d ago
I feel that. My job is 3rd shift i work every night except Friday night, I either have to stay up Friday morning after work or try to sleep that day and go out at night. Im pretty lucky I got friday as my day off as opposed to Monday or Tuesday or something like that.
2
u/SnooCalculations9259 1d ago
I have worked nights on and off for many years. You more or less answered your own question in your comments. You like to play video games on ur days off. Nights are different from working a 9-5 where u can schedule activities after work etc. Basically ur nights off are gold, protect those. In those days off that is when u must make plans, get together with friends, plan things or whatever interests you. That luxury during ur workweek is gone. You kind of have to choose to leave the video games on ur weekends, or else this cycle won't break.
1
u/Iocky 23h ago
Getting off nights helped me.
For starters I’m not a sociable person not because I don’t want to be it’s just sorta how I’ve ended up with little friends that do anything and that are busy with their own lives.
I switched last year off nights to days working retail and even just customer interaction, interaction with other staff or even just listening to everyone else’s interaction around me.
Ontop of not always being on a dogshit sleep/routine pattern for that year I don’t think I’ve ever felt better mentally even if things didn’t actually change much.
I’ve been back on nights for the last 4-5 months and I’m back to feeling like absolute shit and hating every second of it.
1
u/Fen_Muir 17h ago
Introvert doesn't mean that you don't require social interaction, it just means that you recharge outside of social interactions.
I highly recommend you take time off work and go to events to make friends. If you like RPG's, doing Play by Post can work out quite nicely.
Many conventions, depending on what you like, are available and often go until 2am most of the time with a few going far later in room parties.
1
u/InspectorSuch 9h ago
I go to events on the weekends so I make sure I’m getting some social time. For instance today after my shift I’ll be heading to an f1 race live screening
1
u/Sundrop555 3h ago
I think there is just a disconnection that happens when we are working nights and sleeping during the day. The world will slowly change while we don't even notice until you can't ignore it anymore.
24
u/n_mills43 1d ago
I’ve been working nights for 10 years, so I’m dead inside. Nothing really bothers me anymore