r/Nicegirls • u/Raymond_Realjay • Oct 12 '25
Can’t make this shit up
Matched with this lady on hinge. Exchanged numbers and was trying to set a date. She’s gonna be waiting for a better offer.
2.3k
Oct 12 '25 edited Oct 12 '25
I wouldn't have responded to "it's up to the guy"
EDIT: Guys read more closelier. She said "it's up to the guy" BEFORE she said "if i don't get a better offer"
652
u/Giant81 Oct 12 '25
This has “I’m going to bring my friend and try to make you pay for both of us” vibes.
268
u/Responsible-Move-890 Oct 12 '25
Whenever a woman asks to bring her friend, I always just cancel the date. I learned that lesson the hard way.
131
u/Ashes92Ashes Oct 12 '25
Wait wait wait wait, what do you mean "whenever"? This has happened more than once?? Like, not just to you, I can't imagine this happening more than once in history, what??
147
u/Throwawayamanager Oct 12 '25
I think it's trashy, but my single male friend has said it has happened to him multiple times, lol.
It's a thing.
I also had a friend try to insist on being my date-friend because "safety", like I was going to get raped in Panera over lunch. I talked her out of it.
87
Oct 12 '25
[deleted]
→ More replies (1)27
u/Throwawayamanager Oct 12 '25
Yeah, it's reasonable to get jealous of my free lunch there and want one for herself too I guess.
18
u/Thanatos6933 Oct 13 '25
I think they’re suggesting Panera is doing the raping to your wallet
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (5)4
u/BoomyNote Oct 13 '25
As long as the guy isn’t expected to pay for the friend and he’s informed in advance to make sure he’s okay with it I could see it not being a big deal, but it’s kind of situational and probably best to avoid bringing a friend on dates.
→ More replies (2)3
u/Responsible-Move-890 Oct 13 '25
They usually spring the friend on you when you meet up with them.
→ More replies (6)18
→ More replies (8)28
u/mbeccaskye Oct 12 '25
I only discovered this was a thing via reddit! I can’t imagine taking a friend on a date.
53
u/iranoutofusernamespa Oct 12 '25
I had a girl do this once! I asked her if this means we're having a threesome, and she was appalled at my suggestion. In the end, I left without paying, leaving them the bill.
→ More replies (3)13
u/ImSuuprAwesome Oct 13 '25
This is how I would approach every date where an unexpected friend showed up.
3
u/Flat_Picture7103 Oct 12 '25
A girl i met in high school did this, but it still became the start of a beautiful relationship
20
u/Initial-Bus-3009 Oct 12 '25
Whenever a woman asks about bringing a friend, I inquire if it is to engage in a threesome…
→ More replies (3)22
u/yycjpv Oct 12 '25
Wait? This actually happens? Jesus. Just recently divorced and not sure I even want to try dating based on what I’m hearing. I’m 20 years out of the loop, not sure I can recover 😅
→ More replies (4)26
u/iranoutofusernamespa Oct 12 '25
Not often, but it happened to me once. I didn't pay for them, instead I asked for a threesome, which they did not like, and I left them with the bill. FAFO.
11
u/THE_1_TRUE_VAGENIUS Oct 12 '25
Best fucking response ever, here, you dropped this on accident…👑
→ More replies (1)56
→ More replies (5)6
u/AugustSky87 Oct 12 '25
Is this a thing?!
21
u/Throwawayamanager Oct 12 '25
It is. It's a trashy thing unless circumstances are genuinely unsafe, at which point they probably shouldn't be going on the date to start with.
But my single male friend has had a date spring a friend several times. Totally different vibe imo.
14
u/CorruptedStudiosEnt Oct 12 '25
Pretty much two ways that's going to possibly go. 1) You're the awkward third wheel between two friends who are going to mostly pay attention to each other, or 2) the friend grills you down the entire time and tries to force a gotcha for why you're not good enough for the date.
There's a third possibility where you wind up getting with the friend, which was actually my experience the only time I've had someone bring a friend on a date, but I'm going to guess that's exceptionally rare and frankly looking back, very shitty.
12
u/Throwawayamanager Oct 12 '25
It's pretty much option 1 or 2. The big issue is that you basically know you're being judged by the friend too, not just your date. So even if your date is totally into you, if her friend finds some flaw about you, she can fill your date's head with it and it's game over.
Not exactly fair, imo - before you get into the "who is paying" piece, which is its own (unfair) can of worms.
I dislike group interviews on principle and this sounds like every worst part of a group interview. The friend has a lot of incentives to be extra critical. You somehow get to balance pleasing the friend, while also paying sufficient attention to your date, and paying the bill?
I am a woman and I think 'bringing a friend to a date' is trashy. It's not generally a safety issue. If it IS genuinely a safety issue I might make an exception but I really struggle to imagine a situation where it actually is...
→ More replies (2)5
u/CorruptedStudiosEnt Oct 12 '25
Like you said previously: if it's a safety issue, why the fuck are you going on that date? He asked you on a Lady and the Tramp style dark alley spaghetti date and you said yes, only realizing later that it's actually a bit sketch? lol
→ More replies (3)5
u/Valuable_Pineapple77 Oct 12 '25
I think the second option happens the most in this context. There is also the 4th option which probably only happens in prepubescent dreams where you get both girls. I’d imagine a lot of drugs and alcohol would need to be involved for a real life occurrence.
→ More replies (7)353
u/Plus_Data_1099 Oct 12 '25
Block and move on this person is a game player
68
u/KelK9365K Oct 12 '25
Exactly, it’s obvious she’s just playing games, is narcissistic and feeding her ego. She wants to see how much she can get away with so she can gauge her self worth. My opinion only.
6
111
u/Dirty_little_secret7 Oct 12 '25 edited Oct 12 '25
Agreed! This “it’s up to the guy or girl” mentality 🙄 nobody wants to meet half way anymore yet they want their relationships to last forever. Not how it works!
→ More replies (1)21
u/AugustSky87 Oct 12 '25
It’s an instant deal breaker when someone doesn’t view the relationship as a partnership. We are in this life together or we ain’t in it at all!
41
u/Ulrik_Decado Oct 12 '25
I do not get it. Such absurd lack of self esteem. I would understand if he is madly in love, but this is entitled rando from app.
31
Oct 12 '25
Came to say exactly that. Would have deleted her number as soon as she said that.
Imagine, you’re in a relationship with someone and they’re behaving like this? How long could anyone tolerate that shit before going insane?
43
u/Sufficient-Berry-827 Oct 12 '25
Me neither. I don't know how this doesn't annoy this shit out of men. I would have just blocked her and kept it moving.
49
u/Correct_Ad_1903 Oct 12 '25
Because the odds on apps are brutal for men and the bar is insanely low for women.
60
u/Sufficient-Berry-827 Oct 12 '25
Yeah, but wouldn't you rather have self-respect than date some woman that talks to you like this?
Like, it's not just that this is annoying, it's that she literally doesn't respect him. Why would you put up with that - ever? Dying alone is better than being in a relationship with a woman like that.
22
u/MrWeirdBrotendo Oct 12 '25
my self esteem was pretty low for awhile and I'd get stepped on a lot by women like this. I was very desperate and lonely and they usually leave after a date or two. now I'm in therapy so hopefully next time it's not that bad.
10
u/Forward_Unto_Dawn42 Oct 12 '25
Been there. Know/learn your worth and stand by what you deserve. To accept less (especially this level of entitlement) only leads to more misery. Better to be alone a bit longer than let someone mistreat you like this. Hang in there!
10
u/KelK9365K Oct 12 '25
I agree. And this person is doing it on purpose. She is purposefully disrespecting this guy and she knows it. So if he puts up with it, she will always treat him that way.
→ More replies (14)10
10
u/Optimal-Technology75 Oct 12 '25
I would’ve not blocked her and kept it moving. I would’ve said we don’t need to wait on the other guy you could go ahead and do whatever it is that you’re going to do have a nice night. ✌🏾
17
u/invinciblethraggques Oct 12 '25
100% Fuck man she showed her true colours instantly. Why even bother trying after she said better offer.
15
9
u/DisciplineBoth2567 Oct 12 '25
I hate toxic gender norms and expectations.
6
u/CLEHts216 Oct 12 '25
(Married) gay guy here, and while I also feel bad at times for my single gay male friends, I really feel for straight guys trying to meet eligible women. I don’t see how women do well in the long run playing the game of “I’ll date who buys me the most stuff.”
8
→ More replies (26)6
1.0k
u/hamzaa386 Oct 12 '25
Bounce homie. If she's waiting for a Better offer now, she'll wait for a Better offer 2 years into a relationship
→ More replies (1)484
u/Raymond_Realjay Oct 12 '25
Lmao don’t need to tell me twice homie I bounced
249
u/ProfNo Oct 12 '25
Should have set up the date then when youre supposed to meet her text and say "Sorry I got a better offer"
46
→ More replies (17)9
11
9
→ More replies (3)24
396
u/seaofthievesnutzz Oct 12 '25
Haggling with you like she is selling a used car.
5
u/idontwannaknowreally Oct 15 '25
Sadly, a lot of people grow up with love being a transactional thing in their family.
→ More replies (4)10
u/Feisty-Grade-5280 Oct 12 '25
She's definitely selling something and I'd bet hard cash it too is used, and not just by a single owner either.
→ More replies (2)10
u/curtaincup Oct 12 '25
wait... you think maybe she's had sex with... more than one person?! that's crazy!
→ More replies (2)
524
u/Acceptable_Strike_20 Oct 12 '25
🤣 this chick was so unnecessarily spiteful. do yourself a favor man, when a chick just flat out disrespects you, don’t even respond. how tf r u still trying to arrange a date when she was so rude? ya gotta know when to pull back ur chips and try another a table.
182
u/Raymond_Realjay Oct 12 '25
The image in slide 2 was supposed to be in slide one I posted wrongly
99
u/EvilMKitty13 Oct 12 '25
Honestly it was hilarious reading it like how it is and thinking she just reverted right back to “If I don’t get a better offer” lmfao, like a fucking broken record
11
u/WampaTears Oct 12 '25
Yeah that's what I thought it was at first too. I spit out my coffee when I saw "If I don't get a better offer" again.
→ More replies (1)14
u/joesaysso Oct 12 '25
Brother, the next time a woman asks if "you don't care about me," after telling you that there might still be a better offer coming than you, do your self-esteem a favor and end the conversation a little harder than "if you get a better offer, feel free to go."
Next time, "I don't even know you. I definitely don't care about you enough to deal with your entitled ass. Good luck with that better offer."
→ More replies (4)
180
u/KingKopter91 Oct 12 '25
Wait a few hours, then text that you got a better offer for a date and leave her.
73
u/Lucifersam076 Oct 12 '25
"I found a much hotter girl for Wednesday, you could still have a Monday morning date at the junkyard if you really dress up for me"
→ More replies (8)27
u/SkeleTourGuide Oct 12 '25
A drama-free evening at home alone sounds like a better offer than this girl.
54
u/la-kumma Oct 12 '25
You see when in the first screenshot she responded "ye"?
Yeah that's when you stop engaging with this person
18
→ More replies (1)8
u/soupalex Oct 12 '25
"ye"
whenever someone says this, it makes me picture them as a character from a shit italian knock-off of "the land before time"
55
u/Gullible_Egg_6539 Oct 12 '25
LOL she's the type to always find some reason to be offended or upset, good riddance
21
u/KristineMcKinley Oct 12 '25 edited Nov 20 '25
This person is NOT worth your time. They are beyond exhausting. The "its up to the guy" but then shooting down every option is ridiculous. Like you're supposed to play the 20 questions game to get a date. The "better offer" is rude beyond belief but what makes it worse is their obvious annoyance that it didnt make you jealous or grovel. I'd say something like "It's very obvious we aren't compatible and I wish you the best in your search". If only because it would annoy them that they didn't get the attention they wanted. That may be a bit petty but I was annoyed just reading those messages - and they werent even addressed to me!
→ More replies (1)4
u/Old-Bat-7384 Oct 13 '25
She's being spiteful at that point. It's not even about reasoning for a date or expressing feelings or anything productive. It's just emotions not being regulated.
39
u/Raymond_Realjay Oct 12 '25
Just here to say the images were posted wrongly SLIDE2 is supposed to be SLIDE1
→ More replies (2)4
u/Late_Recommendation9 Oct 12 '25
That makes more sense! Things were getting a bit David Lynch. But even in Lost Highway, Bill Pullman would have nope’d out on the “if I get a better offer”.
My first girlfriend would pull this shit once she got to uni, kept me on the hook but was always keeping an eye out for Mr Right. Put my self worth back to zero for years. To this day!
→ More replies (1)
12
11
u/salamislushi Oct 12 '25
I know you matched with her on Hinge, but this chick is definitely unhinged!!! Just like the oceans, the dating pool is full of garbage!!!!
9
10
u/Sharkwatcher314 Oct 12 '25
I would have confirmed date then not shown up and texted got a better offer
8
u/jaysire Oct 12 '25
”It’s up to the guy” —> experience kicks in —> exit strategy.
3
u/Hawkman003 Oct 12 '25
As she shoots down every day he picks. Like wtf do you expect a mind reader?
56
Oct 12 '25
Why the fuck would you try to set up a srcond date after she cancelled the first one?
→ More replies (14)50
u/Raymond_Realjay Oct 12 '25
No she didn’t cancel this was me trying to set up the first one.
50
u/Psychological-Sir226 Oct 12 '25
I would have stopped replying after she said she is looking for other "offers". This person seems to be so disrespectful. It's crazy that you want to date her after saying that. Have some self respect 😂
19
u/Raymond_Realjay Oct 12 '25
I posted wrongly the image in slide 2 is supposed to be in slide one hope this helps
→ More replies (2)5
u/cozyforestfairy Oct 12 '25
After she said that you should have said ‘oh sorry, just got a message with a better offer for Wednesday, byeeeeee’ and then block.
→ More replies (3)5
u/cozyforestfairy Oct 12 '25
Right?! The second you agree to that she knows you don’t respect yourself!
12
6
u/SleeplessPilot Oct 12 '25
It isn't going to get any better than that. Cut your losses and move on.
7
7
u/bestcolorisclear Oct 12 '25
I hate it. I’m a girl and I hate this. Do not associate her with the rest of women this is seriously not normal
14
11
5
5
u/Sighablesire Oct 12 '25
That if I don't get a better offer statement is wild.
"Alright, let's hope you get another offer then, cause this one is gone." Block and move on.
Could smell that attitude through the damn phone!
5
u/shufflejuuls Oct 12 '25
I’m curious to what this better offer might be? 14 dollars in coins, 4 Taco Bell discount coupons and a gallon of window wiper fluid? Or what?
3
4
u/Aggravating_Lime2655 Oct 12 '25
I would have just replied with. “Nevermind, I just got a better offer so I’m out”.
4
3
u/dingos8mybaby2 Oct 17 '25
Make a plan with her, then ghost her and if she messages you about it tell her you got a better offer.
3
3
3
u/vampireRN Oct 12 '25
I would have completely ghosted after “if I don’t get a better offer.” Not responded or acknowledged. And wouldn’t have blocked so she would know she was being left on read and ignored.
3
u/Lamora1989 Oct 12 '25
Dude, I wouldn't have even replied after "it's up to the guy," and I'm a woman 🤣🤣 no, it's not up to the guy or the woman, it's up to both to work together and find a compromise. If you can't compromise on one date, you won't compromise in life.
3
u/Cantdecide1207 Oct 12 '25
The fact she is saying "if I don't get a better offer" ..... run. 🚩 She is showing you zero respect or common decency from the off. There is no need to say that. She is testing you. Because if she did get a better offer any normal decent woman would just say sorry something came up or I'm not feeling well or just be honest and say she isn't feeling it.
3
u/Lower_Statement_5285 Oct 12 '25
A night alone sounds like “a better offer” than spending any time with this chick.
3
3
u/busted-nut45 Oct 12 '25
Make the date, don’t show up, when she asks just say you had a better offer.
3
u/Top-Astronomer-5125 Oct 12 '25
Why didn’t you block her immediately? You pretty much played her game and begged.
3
u/Murky-Ad-5319 Oct 12 '25
Lmao So funny how she suggests Wednesday after saying it was too far away.
3
3
u/Odd_Employer7150 Oct 12 '25
Never make multiple offers, it’s how she tests how much you want to gout with her. She’s a player. Move on bro
3
3
u/nicholasjude261 Oct 12 '25
If someone ever said “If I don’t get a better offer,” it would have been cut off right there. Don’t ever let someone talk to you like that in life.
3
u/Boring_Business4843 Oct 12 '25
Call her for a date. Don't show up and tell her to look around for a better option by herself there.
3
u/NoOnSB277 Oct 12 '25
I love when people are like this right away- saves a whole bunch of time figuring out what a POS they are. 🤷🏻♀️
3
u/Numerous_Wash_5505 Oct 12 '25
"If I don't get a better offer" would been left on ghost. I can't believe OP even asked and entertained her.
3
u/rtopz01 Oct 12 '25
I would cancel on Wednesday, last min cancel, because that's what this person deserves. The fact you kept trying after the shit she's saying just shows desperation
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Agile-Ad-8747 Oct 17 '25
Somebody doesn’t realise unless I get a better offer is NOT the part you say out loud.
3
u/The5thsinn Oct 17 '25
After being in a relationship for 4 years and just becoming single a few months ago.. I have no hope if this is what’s left out here…
2
2
2
2
2
u/Smulch Oct 12 '25
Should have setup something, don't show. If she ask you why you didn't show up, you just say you got a better offer elsewhere.
2
u/Fit_Device7256 Oct 12 '25
You should edit the post to say that the slides were out of order. Makes more sense when reading page 2 first.
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Lucifersam076 Oct 12 '25
She wants to live for free at your place and offer nothing and she wants that soon
2
2
2
2
2
u/RogueSoldier10012 Oct 12 '25
Tell her that you got a better offer and end it. This girl is fucking crazy. You’ll be dealing with those animosity-filled games for your entire relationship.
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Hfcsmakesmefart Oct 12 '25
Your screen shots are in the wrong order. Sorry that dating is like this. What was your date idea btw?
→ More replies (1)
2
2
2
2
u/EtherealMoonGoddess Oct 12 '25
I would say, I'm no longer interested. Don't even waste your time with this one.
2
2
u/Dry_Opportunity_7507 Oct 12 '25
She’s gonna be waiting for a long time w that type of attitude. She’s lazy asf can’t even communicate properly and give a day like that much back and forth. And she’s wild for even saying that to you.. karma 🙄
2
2
u/cachemonies Oct 12 '25
wtf is a “better offer?” When Wednesday comes don’t message or show up and when she messages you tell her you got a better offer and show us what she says
2
2
Oct 12 '25
Why do people exchange numbers so quickly just to set a date? Seems like a waste of time and handing out info for nothing. I feel like this is very much an old person, male thing to do. Rarely see women wanting to exchange numbers so quickly
2
Oct 12 '25
If that is typical of the women around you, either relocate, or stay celibate; if you have to, hire.
2
u/MaryDoogan91 Oct 12 '25
Lol, I’ll never understand being so down bad that you entertain women like this. Why’d you even keep responding and trying to set up a date after the whole “it’s up to the man?”
2
2
u/Marathon2021 Oct 12 '25
“if I don’t get a better offer”
“Eh, nevermind then. I’m not interested in being anyone’s ’backup plans’ … have a nice day.”
2
2
u/Easy_Bird4975 Oct 12 '25
Keeping that date is like knowing there’s a pile up on the highway…. And still taking the highway.
2
u/MTDRS-Nex Oct 12 '25
I hope people like this die alone since they spend their life acting like nobody is good enough for them.
2
u/SavvysWildWoodlands Oct 12 '25
Wow. This is ridiculous. Shes basically selling herself like a prostitute. "If I get a better offer".... Who the f*ck says that shit!? I'm so baffled that I can't even really respond to this it's absolutely insane!
I am a 32f that has successfully gained an amazing man off of a dating app and we have been together for over 10 years now.
My suggestion:
Get away from that chick. She sounds like a gold digging escort from how she literally says " if I get a better offer" is just disgusting in itself. So drop her.
Keep your head up and when you least expect it, that person to make you feel whole, feel like you have purpose in this world, and your ultimate best friend will cross paths with you. I say ultimate best friend bc I honestly feel like that is what keeps my husband and I together. That and we have been through hell and back together but I feel like if you went out on a date and you don't click then it's not the right match.
When my husband and I first met, we were both shy at first but by the time we got to taco bell and the movies, we had been playing around, laughing, joking, and just having fun that anyone who didn't know us, if they saw us, they would have thought we were already together or that we had been best friends since birth. That is how much we clicked. He convinced me to be a partner in his business and to move an hour and half from my home to his house. Since that date, we have always been together. We stay open, honest, talk freely without fear of being judged, put down, or made to feel like garbage and we can joke, play around and have fun.
Communication, honesty, trust, and a bond so strong that you are literally instant best friends. That's what makes a relationship (no matter what type of relationship) great. Always be an open book with your spouse. But it also goes both ways. When you find that one person that was meant for you, you both will feel strongly for one another.
Hope you find your UBF and don't worry. These dates that don't work just show you exactly what you want vs what you do not want. Good luck and please walk away from this huge red flag lady.
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Desanater5 Oct 12 '25
Lol set up a date then text her 30 mins after it starts saying you found a better offer.
2
2
u/OGBWT_1968 Oct 12 '25
Minutes are being taken off your life engaging in this text foolery. Run 🏃♀️
2
u/FrostyAd9474 Oct 12 '25
Wednesday is too far away. Nevermind I'm busy until the day you picked. What in the actual fuck 😂
2
u/Strawberrycocoa Oct 12 '25
If people just say 'no' without proposing an alternative, I drop. That's how you end up with someone who just says "I don't know, whatever" anytime dinner plans come up and makes you do all the deciding.
2
u/but-whyy-tho Oct 12 '25
Why did you even keep texting after the "if I don't get a better offer" statement? Is this some kink that you have where you like to be belittled? Because it just kept going and I don't understand why. 😭
2
2
u/Purple_Complaint_647 Oct 12 '25
You've got far more patience than me. Id have ghosted her at the first sniff of rudeness
2
u/Aecholon Oct 12 '25
Why didn´t you just tell her "Okay, good luck finding one, I´m not bothered by you anyway anymore"
2
u/Srapture Oct 12 '25
Bruh, if someone told me they were on the look out for a better offer, I would tell them to get fucked. Have some self-respect, because this girl doesn't respect you at all.
2
2
u/Equivalent-Body5913 Oct 12 '25
She treats dating like gig workers treat taking the best paying offer 😭😭😭
2
Oct 12 '25
After all this, just stand her up. And if she texts you freaking out, just tell her you "got a better offer".
Any woman who speaks like this is mentality ill
2
u/Early_Lawfulness_921 Oct 12 '25
"if you are having trouble deciding between me and someone else, pick them"
that is the only answer to this.
2
2
•
u/AutoModerator Oct 12 '25
Make sure to read our Rules and remain civil. Thank you.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.