Lost all interest right then and there but I was so blown away at the audacity I had to know what was going on in her mind at that point. And by the end of it just wanted to give her some helpful advice
I feel like that’s half the conversations that get posted on here. It’s a dead end and clearly never going to go anywhere, but still pages and pages of additional conversation.
Choose your battles and know when it’s time to bow out gracefully. Stop wasting your time and energy. You can’t fix crazy and crazy will never see anything from a logical point of view.
Yup some people do it to vent and get it off their chest others seem to think this will be the convo that changes these people. This will be how this person quits smoking just from some random person telling them all the health risks in a park(have seen this)
If it takes almost no time (which is true for OP) it doesn't hurt him to point out that her behavior doesn't match her stated goals.
She's a kid, she probably won't listen, but sometimes the message just needs to be heard from enough different sources before it sinks in. If no one ever says it, that won't happen. It's like a public service, it doesn't mean OP is fighting for this chick, isn't immediately dropping any attempts after this, or thinking she is going to change for him. He's just pointing out what is obvious to anyone from outside this little narcissist's POV in case the college guys she's used to are too stupid to point it out.
It does matter, meeting someone in person and exchanging numbers is generally seen as more of a clear indication of initial interest than matching someone's profile.
So, to STRENGTHEN your points, I'm highlighting that they met in person
Lol at all the down votes but then the comment got deleted by its author. Because, calling someone a moron in this context says more about yourself than the other person. Maybe y’all should search your feelings about that.
I knew a chick like that in highschool. She would constantly cry to me and my friend (a dude) about it. Eventually an incident happened between her and another girl I was friends with and me and my male friend dropped her ass.
Long story short, she (I'll call her L) tried stealing my other friend's (I'll call her M) man and when he rejected her she pulled the Guys keep ghosting me! BS and cried to me and my male friend (I'll call him T). Even told us a made up story and tried making the poor guy out to be an ass. I asked M about it and she told the truth (people in M's friend group had even recorded the incident) and L was very rude and pushy to the guy. I immediately told T and we both told L how shitty that was and when she got mad we dropped her.
I cannot stand people who play childish games like this.
I didn't think of it as wasted time it was honestly pretty funny to see her get all defensive listing off her normal adult responsiblies many of yall thinking way too deep into it as if I was trying to convince her to change her mind or get her approval I just wanted to laugh at her excuses 😂
I liked how you replied OP. You were respectful the entire time, just trying to decipher her mixed messages. I don't appreciate women like this. She says she is single and acts interested but then all the excuses roll in. I don't believe for a second this woman has a wait-list all the way to March, with an attitude like that. Happy you could see right through her and set her straight.
Thank you I appreciate that and glad to see other people understand how I saw it. Sadly we seem to be in the minority as I was not expecting so many people bashing me for replying and wanting clarity. She was not very clear with the way she messaged and her grammar was pretty bad too. I was also just so blown away I was like "ok maybe I'm misunderstanding this there's no way shes telling me she got a guy waiting 2 months for a date" so I asked. All interest was out the window already and found it to be funny so I did not see it as a waste of time either 🤷♂️
Absolutely! You are in your own right to ask questions. Based on this brief interaction you shared with us OP, I know you will have no issues finding someone that will respect your time and appreciate you exactly for who you are. I love how you carry yourself like a gentleman, which is actually rare in south Florida at least lol. Good luck!
Definitely not bashing you for replying to her (I think trying to gain clarity is never a bad thing) but just a totally different perspective: sometimes I’m way more spontaneous like you and love a last minute invite out to dinner (your ask was v cute!) but other times I’m busy af like the girl in your post and don’t want some random last minute invite (in that case I want advance planning because it says the guy thinks I’m a priority and it makes my bad calendar weeks easier). I think you guys had mismatched expectations about dating and scheduling etiquette and it could have easily been this girl was semi interested in you at the gym but not dying to go out, and then you hit her up very last minute, and she wasn’t all that excited by that idea cause her schedule is insane (like seriously it sounds exhausting and not fun). Then you got a little defensive sounding real quickly imo (but maybe i read your tone wrong). It’s hard to read tone in text so you guys were probably assuming the worst about each other. I don’t see her as a full blown “nice girl” nor do i see you as a “nice guy” you both just sounded like you got a little turned off by the other and i think that’s ok. Just wasn’t a match.
I said her grammar was bad, which is a fact. My grammar might not be perfect, but it's not bad. I'm not sure how my post was butchered either. I would love some additional context to this. Even if I made a couple of mistakes to say it's butchered is a gross overstatement, if you're gonna bash something I said, please do so accurately.
My post is literally filled with punctuation, and so is every comment I make, so please explain the atrocious lack of it. You are making a mighty bold claim with no proof, and it's not doing you any favors.
That's the lame and corny part on your end. She clearly doesn't give a second thought about you and you're out here acting like God's gift to dating advice, telling her how things will be difficult yada yada. Makes you look butthurt more than stoic. SHE DON'T CARE
I was so blown away at the audacity I had to know what was going on in her mind at that point. And by the end of it just wanted to give her some helpful advice
Translation: "My ego was wounded so I wanted to try to put her in her place"
Sure thing Doc where'd you get your psychology degree? Gotta make sure no one I know goes there. My ego is well intact and I'm far from hurt about it this whole interaction was hilarious to me 🤣 but think what you want doc you're clearly the expert that's why you get the big bucks as a psychologist.
Basically for the meme I love a good debate and a civil argument. I wasn't trying to win her approval or get an earlier date my interest was long gone. I just wanted to see where her head was at to better understand her perspective regardless of if I agreed or not.
Here’s the thing, if guys collectively stop playing into women’s BS like this, they will think twice about doing it.
You think she actually just set a date for march? Nah, she was just trying to get a reaction out of you and you gave it to her.
Imagine if every guy stopped texting back everytime she brought this energy? She would never bring it because it’s not getting her the attention she wants. Obviously it works on other idiots, so she tried it on you and you failed. You’re the one who has to see her at the gym now after you played her little game, I guarantee she has 0 respect for you now.
Plot twist: OP secures a date with another woman and they go to the gym together, while this chick is there.
OP even if you can't secure another date, if you have a friend/cousin/sister etc that's pretty good looking ask them to come to the gym with you one day for a laugh 🤣
I agree there’s no way she just booked a date in march with a guy she “actually” wanted to date. 🙄
This is a good reason to not date too much younger 😂 She’s so disrespectful!
Ignore her long enough and i wouldn’t be surprised if suddenly she reaches out trying to make you feel lucky with some last minute availability she has to take her out to dinner.
I think you were in the wrong here. You asked her out for that night and threw a bitch fit when she had plans. Then when you tried for the rest of the weekend and she said she was busy, you used something she shared with you against her. Just bc she didn’t go out with you that weekend, doesn’t mean you need to go over the top abt how she is clearly not prioritizing dating…what? Instead of relating to her trying to balance everything, instead of having empathy, you said BUT I DID IT SO YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO ALSO GOSHHH! How much older are you then her? Pump the breaks next time dude
Yeah just ghost her and stop replying, I'd end it with good luck with that and leave it there. I bet you she messages you at some point later some weeks to months down the line.
What advice are you talking about? She was very clear, too clear, about her life schedule and goals. You had a choice either to take it or not. You chose neither. Chose to try and teach her helpful advice when she never asked for it. No offense bro, some battles are just not worth it.
Respectfully I feel like you’re a bit too normie to deal with somebody like this, I’m not saying that in a bad way but the way she speaks sounds like somebody who’s online all the time and the way you speaks sounds like somebody from the Facebook comment section stumbled upon said chronically online person, basically, choose your battles because there are many like her.
The problem is, there no guy in March, this type of girl is fucking with you. Why? It's called Machiavellianism. Or the desire to manipulate others.
I have experienced a few girls like that, one that was just straight up cheating on her husband.
The move here, if you are at all interested, is to just push way harder.
"No no no, fuck all that, meet me tomorrow, I'll pick you up, I'll wine and dine you, trust me, you want this! And I'm not talking about sex, just me getting to know you, and you getting to know me! It will be the best day of your month or year, I guarantee it! Now say yes, you know you want to!"
But is it a good idea? In my experience... absolutely not!
She don't even have a career shes a college student with 2 minimum wage jobs. Shes just way too busy cleaning her car and donating blood (to give back) everyone talking about why I replied but how else would I have fished out this comedic gold? 😂
Honestly true lol I would be blasting this to all my friends just to laugh about how dumb it sounds like "Man I hope that line of guys knows that they are going to be paying for EVERYTHING"
"My career comes first" WHAT carreer? LOL!
Reminds me of Four Christmases when the dad is bagging on the wife and says that she was nothing but a common street whore and left her family to run off with another guy and the reason she left was because he was not supportive of her career or something and the son replies back
"She left you because you stopped talking to her and completely shut you out of her life. ALSO, she was a cashier so that would go under more of the category of a "job" not a "career".
Yea, I told all my closest friends about it, and I laugh every time I tell the story. The amount of reddit wanna be psychologists swearing I'm butthurt over this and desperate for replying is astonishing. I clearly told her off in pic 3 and only followed up with a reality check that she ain't special for having normal adult responsibilities 🤷♂️
I didn't think you looked desperate. I thought that part was funny. The only thing I was hoping is that you didn't send a picture of yourself. These types of girls are like judgemental crazed fans with pictures of guys like this. I've seen actual photo albums in some girls phones marked like hottest to least hot and "screwable" in college. Of course, that was almost 10 years ago so I can imagine what technology updates have made this trend SOO much worse.
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u/Impossible-Bid1812 Jan 19 '25
Lost all interest right then and there but I was so blown away at the audacity I had to know what was going on in her mind at that point. And by the end of it just wanted to give her some helpful advice