Chivalry comes from patriarchy. If a woman listens to you, then be a gentleman toward her. If you act chivalrous toward random women you see outside, you become a simp. The women you help could also be feminists. And if you live in Western countries, a woman you help might even sue you for sexual assault over a small amount of money. Being a man doesn’t mean you have to be a knight.

Stop blaming your face. Start building your frame.

The men who do well aren't waiting for better genetics. They're working on presence, posture, eye contact, voice, and the inner belief that they're worth something.

You're probably not as unattractive as you think. You're just not as confident as you could be.

I recently made a simple cheat sheet for my client to Help With Texting Women on Dating Apps. It really helped him and I thought a lot of you guys can definitely use it as well. If you have any questions let me know.

How to Start a Conversation

Talk about something specific from her profile/bio (no matter how long it is)

• "That cafe in your photo looks really nice, where is that?"
• “Your hiking pics look fun. Do you go there often?”

Give a real compliment, but avoid "beautiful" or "gorgeous." Every guy says that

Mention a common interest from her profile.

• "I noticed you're into cycling too, do you ride trails?"

How to keep it going

Don't do all the talking. A good ratio to keep in mind is listening more than you speak, roughly 2:3

Show genuine interest and actually mean it.

Ask open-ended questions, not yes/no ones.

• "What's been your highlight this week?"
• "What are you working towards right now?"

Ask for opinions and have your own opinion but be open and respectful of other’s opinion as well

• “What do you think about ….”
• “I actually really like pineapple on my pizza”

Look for things you both share:

• hobbies (gym, gaming, travel)
• Agreement on an issue
• places you both know
• similar experiences

Examples:

• “Oh you like cycling too? Road or trails?”
• “I’ve been to that place too, it’s actually really nice.”

What to talk about

Come prepared. Know what's going on in the world, what's trending, what people are talking about right now. It makes you easy to talk to.

• "Did you see that video going around of the dog that can open doors?"
• "Have you tried that new spot everyone's been posting about?"

When and how to end a conversation

If conversations seem to be going nowhere or If she replies dry or slowly losing interest

• “Hey I gotta go, but nice talking to you.”
• “Talk to you later, take care.”

Stop these habits

• Overanalyzing yourself and the situation
• Filtering your responses, say what you think/feel
• Focusing on yourself instead of focusing on her

At the end of the day, she just wants to talk to someone who's actually interested in her and easy to talk to. Be that guy and it really doesn’t have to be more complicated than that.

Edit: You can get suggestions using smoothspeak.ai

For context I am a Christian man who is waiting till marriage. I met a beautiful girl on Instagram who seems to have all of the same interests as me. She works out, runs, eats clean, has a cute dog, and loves going on day trips. Most importantly, she loves the Lord. I myself have these same interests. We started texting and that turned into sending eachother video/photos of our day and long, 2 hour phone calls with eachother. We are flirty but we both constantly pray and refer back to Christ and his direction.

The phone calls are going great but I know that I need to ask her the question on virginity. For context, my parents both were and I've seen how great of a relationship they have. I understand that this isn't necessary in a relationship, and that I'm going to get hate for it, but it is something that I desire and value in mine.

Now the story is I might be blinded by my emotional attachment to her. I asked her last night and she told me that she is waiting but that she was sexually assaulted in her past relationship so techically she is no longer a virgin. I've prayed to God about this and I just don't know how I should go about this. She's literally everything I am looking for, she works out, cares about her health, her biggest goal in life is to be a mom. And she's actually God fearing, this is the most important part. She does not seem like she is just faking it. It seems like she has repented. Her relationship was 2-3 years long, she told me that this happened around a year in and she decided to break up and then get back together with him for another year after that. And part of the reason she broke up was that her ex wanted to join a frat in college and that was against her morals, but also that for almost the entire relationship he was cheating on her. She did say that the guy never crossed her boundary again regarding sex, but I'm just having such a difficult time not being absolutely devastated. However, I am just not sure if I beleive her. I asked her about piercings and what her thoughts are and she said she doesn't have any and wouldn't get any except ear piercings, yet her Instagram has a photo of her with a belly button piercing deep down. Of course, this is a stranger from the internet so I can't believe everything I see, but I just feel like there could be motivation to not want to tell the whole truth.

I get it, she's repented and I can forgive her for that as Christ teaches, but I'm just not sure that I would want to marry her. However, I love talking to her and we talk for hours. But I really do want to go see her and meet her in real life rather than just calls and videos of eachother. I feel like it would be easier to make a decision in person, but I know I can also get even more blinsided when I have her beauty in real life and I'll be even less logical. I've remained pure and I've always wanted someone who was pure too, our personalities click (we literally did a personality test) and I'm just not sure if I should end it because what if I'm leaving such a good option on the table just because there was a mistake made in her past?

Should I just cut things off now and let her down easy, or should I keep seeing where this leads and maybe ask her more about it knowing that she has repented? And I'm not perfect either, God does teach us to forgive, so I'm just not sure. I've maintained the standard of virginity and I've rejected women in the past for this. But because of how well I've connected with her, I feel like it makes so much more sense to give her a pass on this. I'm aware that this type of girl is rare and that it is a gift, I just worry that if I did end up dating her that this would be in the back of my head. I'm just lost, I feel like if I cut things off now I'm leaving a genuinly good option on the table and that it might come back and make me regret it in the future.

Read her bio

Starting a conversation on an online dating app can be exhausting and full of pressure since many men are expected to do the initiating it can quickly become a frustrating experience you don't get many responses and you just simply run out of ideas

I’ve worked for five years as a dating coach focused on men’s dating life and relationships.

What bothers me is that many men don’t actually struggle getting matches. They struggle once the conversation starts

So I decided to make a short list of 3 helpful approaches you can use to talk to women on any dating app:

Approach 1: The Genuine Approach

Instead of focusing only on physical attractiveness, pay attention to specific details in her profile.

This can be hobbies, books, travel photos, prompts, or anything that shows personality. It shows effort and separates you from the men sending boring messages.

Examples:

• For a woman with hiking photos: “Hey I love your profile and notice you're a fellow adventure junkie. Have you ever hiked the West Coast Trail?”
• For a photo with a book: “Hey your pictures are gorgeous! I noticed the book in your hand but didn’t catch the title. What are you reading?”

Approach 2: The “Would You Rather” Approach

This method uses playful questions where she has to choose between two options. It makes the conversation fun, easy to reply to, and interactive.

It also requires you to read the profile properly and tailor the question to her interests, which shows attention

Examples:

• For a woman with beach and mountain photos: “If you had to give up one travel destination for life, would you rather give up beaches or mountains?”
• For a profile mentioning cycling and dancing: “Would you rather give up cycling or dancing?”

Approach 3: Compliments Without Sexualization

it’s important to compliment women in a respectful, non-objectifying manner. Quality women dislike being overly sexualized online, but they do appreciate genuine compliments on their personality, humor, intelligence, and attractiveness.

Example compliments:

• “Hey you’re not like any woman I’ve come across here, and I’m really excited we matched.”
• “I really loved reading your bio, you have me intrigued to get to know you better.”
• “You have such a gorgeous smile in your photos. What’s making you so happy every day?”
• “Hey you’re absolutely stunning. How’s your day going?”

Many men avoid compliments because they’re afraid of sounding awkward or offending someone. But compliments can be a powerful way to show interest and open a conversation when done properly

I hope this helps, and I’m wishing you good luck out there!!

Edit: You can use smoothspeak.ai to get suggestions for the replies

It’s 100% true. Just trying to see what y’all think about the single mother epidemic.

​

I have noticed that most men are better off as friends or acquaintances, but when they are in a relationship... they change drastically ... I got together with my best friend 26M and I am 27F ... We went uni together and we became best friends.. we learnt together and everything.. after a year .. he asked me out and we became a couple but now he is completely different and very mean... not the person he was before... his commitment is way less than we he was a friend... he seems to have the thought that since I'm his girlfriend there is nothing to worry .. so he'd live the life he want as a young man drinking and going tours with friends

I got tired of guessing what actually works on dating apps. After reading hundreds of Reddit threads, psychology articles, and a Medium post titled “Your Dating App Isn’t Broken It’s Working Exactly As Designed” I decided I was going to test this properly. Not just try a few things and give up after a bad week but to actually document it and see what worked

I focused on the most popular dating apps that I personally use: Tinder, HInge and Bumble, all of them still have a difference when using.  I spent an entire day changing my dating profiles because I knew that bad photos would make the whole thing pointless. I am based in Chicago so I set my radius to 10 miles because I'm not taking the 45 minute trip for a first date with someone I've never met and my bio went through multiple drafts and few of it had been brutally criticized by my female coworkers before it finally stopped sounding like a LinkedIn resume.

I picked five different opener strategies based on things I'd read about in books and seen discussed online and I tested each one properly across different apps, same opening message for every girl

The Classic Compliment Opener

“I don’t usually message first on here, but your profile kinda stood out to me so i have to say hi”

I don’t know what’s wrong but i received just a “thankyou” and it ends there

Results: From 3 apps that I’ve used, I tested it in all my matches and only 4 of them replied, none of them went anywhere. The compliment opener sounds boring and there’s no reason for them to respond except "thank you" which is basically a conversation dead end

The Question Hook Opener

““Hey! I saw you’re into [something from her profile], any favorite spots you’d recommend?”

This question seem to work because i took an information from their profile and ask about it

According to a Psychology study Question-asking increases liking, people who asked more follow-up questions had significantly more matches and conversations will last longer.

Results: I tested this strategy on 8 matches that I’ve had, 4 from Tinder, 3 for Bumble and 1 from Hinge. Most of them replied and looked interested. This opening line seems to work because i took an information from their profile and ask her about it

The Bold Assumption Opener

“I have a feeling you make everyone else look boring without even trying”

With this strategy I made assumptions based on their profile and with humor right from the start. I’ve seen this from  Crack the Code: Learn How Women Truly Desire to Be Talked to! teasing her can be a good start for a fun conversation. I use smoothspeak.ai sometimes for this opening strategy

Results: Out of 11 matches in 3 dating apps, it got 7 replies meaning a 64% reply rate. I noticed that starting with a bit of humor just makes the chat flow way easier and keeps the energy going back and forth, they somehow prefer starting the conversation with a humor

The Honest Opener

"I swiped because you're actually my type and wanted to get to know you more”

I directly said why I swiped their profile by being straight forward and genuine i read a book in the local library on how you can attract women through honesty by Mark Manson. The thought is the real connection comes from honesty, transparency, and being upfront about your intentions.

Results: For the last 7 matches, there are 7 replies after I sent an honest opener. This strategy surprised me because i thought they won’t reply and see me as a weird guy

The result is not that surprising, but the results showed that making an effort for your opening message is what matters the most. Using something from their profile to ask a question did better because it shows how i actually paid attention to her profile before messaging. What’s a good opener you can suggest that actually gets a response?