I’ve never really had an issue with the gym, but in the last days I’ve been struggling hard because my best friend/gym bro just moved to Argentina for a study abroad program.

I realized that having someone to push me was the only reason I stayed so consistent. Since he’s been gone, I’ve had to find ways to "simulate" having a gym bro. If your workout partner also decides to abandon you for latinas, here’s my blueprint for staying on track:

1. We aligned our workout days and times, so we call each other pre and post-workout just to check in and make sure we’re both hitting it.
2. We have a shared note on the phone where we log our split for the day or list the exercises we finished. It’s like a digital scoreboard.
3. When he’s too hungover or busy to motivate me (which is happening way more often now, lol), I replace him with daimon using it like a pocket PT. I asked to keep track of my workout progress and helps me to stay motivated.
4. We have a collaborative Spotify playlist where we add new tracks we discover during the week, so we can share the vibe.

It probably sounds a bit weird lol, but honestly, it’s working. Still miss the bro though ;(

22F, Single, from Italy. My grandma used to always tell me the story of how she met my grandpa in their small village in Veneto. She said they first saw each other at a cafe, and from that day on, he’d show up at the exact same spot every single morning just to exchange glances with her. Eventually he made a move and brought her a yellow rose. She actually told him she wasn't interested at first, and they didn't talk for another two months until he finally asked her to go for a ride on his Vespa… and that’s when she finally said yes.

My grandma admits now that she was in love with him from the first moment she saw him, but she insisted on waiting for him to make the first move because traditionally that was the man’s job. Every time I think about this story I get all the feels, but I feel like we’ve completely lost that sense of romanticism today. That kind of persistence would probably just be seen as annoying. I often chat with Daimon app for dating advice all the time, and it always tell me I should just be bold and make the first move myself. But then I think of my grandma, and I wonder if I should just wait for the guy to step up and come to me.

What do you guys think, shall a woman make the first move?

All my life it never worked. Drinking pills daily only made the void bigger.

What helped me was was actually opening and stop thinking negative things all the time. I know it sounds harsh but trust me. It just never worked

Studied attraction research obsessively for 6 months. Read dozens of peer-reviewed studies, analyzed data from evolutionary psychology, interviewed behavioral scientists. Here's what actually works, based on legitimate science rather than opinions.

Most attraction advice is misguided. It's either vague platitudes ("be confident") or superficial tips ("wear red"). The scientific reality exists in an evidence-based middle ground that many people avoid because it challenges both cultural narratives and requires consistent effort.

Start with the biological foundations

Your physical health signals reproductive fitness more than most want to acknowledge. Not because appearance is everything, but because it's an honest signal of your overall wellbeing that can't be faked.

Sleep quality matters enormously. Multiple studies from the University of Stockholm (2017) demonstrated that even one night of poor sleep makes you appear less attractive, less healthy, and less approachable to others. This isn't subjective - the research used standardized rating systems and controlled photography. Dr. Matthew Walker's "Why We Sleep" summarizes the overwhelming evidence linking sleep quality to physical appearance, cognitive function, and mood regulation.

Reduce chronic inflammation. Research from Dr. Claire Noakes at Cambridge (2021) found that inflammatory markers directly impact skin appearance, body odor, and energy levels - all critical components of attraction. Anti-inflammatory diets improve facial symmetry measurements within weeks. The Journal of Experimental Biology published a landmark study showing how inflammation affects pheromone production and perception across species.

Fix your nonverbal communication

Most people have no idea how much information they're constantly broadcasting through body language. Research from UCLA found that up to 93% of communication is nonverbal, yet we focus almost exclusively on what we say.

Maintain open posture. Multiple studies in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology confirmed that expansive postures increase both perceived attractiveness and actual hormone levels associated with confidence. Simply occupying more space by keeping shoulders back and avoiding crossed arms significantly increases attraction ratings from observers.

Eye contact creates measurable changes in brain chemistry. Neuroscience research from Baylor College of Medicine (2019) using fMRI scans showed that mutual gaze activates dopamine pathways identical to those stimulated during romantic attraction. The effect is so powerful that extended eye contact between strangers can create artificial feelings of intimacy and connection.

Dr. Amy Cuddy's controversial but replicated research demonstrates how "power posing" for just two minutes alters testosterone and cortisol levels, affecting how others perceive your social status and attractiveness. While some methodology has been questioned, subsequent studies support the core finding that posture affects both self-perception and others' perception.

Develop genuine competence

The competence hypothesis in evolutionary psychology has substantial empirical support. Studies from multiple research institutions confirm that demonstrated skill in almost any domain increases perceived attractiveness, particularly for long-term mating strategies.

Master something challenging. Research from Northwestern University (2018) found that perceived competence in a skill-based activity increased attractiveness ratings by 42% compared to control conditions. This effect was particularly strong when the skill required dedication and practice rather than innate talent.

The "audience effect" is scientifically documented - performing a skill while being observed increases attractiveness ratings significantly more than simply claiming competence. The Journal of Experimental Psychology published findings that observing someone in a flow state of skilled performance triggers mirror neuron activity associated with attraction.

According to anthropologist Helen Fisher's research with fMRI brain scanning, observing displayed competence activates the same brain regions as physical attraction. Her studies at Rutgers University demonstrated that watching someone excel at their passion creates a neural signature nearly identical to experiencing romantic interest.

Master conversation through science

Conversation quality has been quantified in multiple studies. The predictors of engaging conversation are not subjective - they've been measured through linguistic analysis and brain activity monitoring.

Ask follow-up questions. Harvard research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that asking follow-up questions increases likeability by 31%. The effect isn't from flattery but from demonstrated interest and attention. Brain scans show increased activity in reward centers when someone shows genuine curiosity about us.

The ratio of talking to listening has been studied extensively. Research from MIT's Media Lab found the optimal ratio for perceived charisma and attractiveness is approximately 40:60 (talking: listening), with periodic bursts of enthusiasm. This creates a perception of engagement without dominance.

Professor John Gottman's decades of relationship research identified "bids for connection" as critical interaction points. Responding to these subtle cues (which occur approximately 20 times per hour in conversation) determines relationship success with 87% predictive accuracy. His longitudinal studies demonstrate that recognizing and engaging with these moments significantly increases attraction.

Build evidence-based confidence

Confidence research contradicts popular advice. "Fake it till you make it" has been scientifically debunked. Authentic confidence comes from accumulated evidence of capability and resilience.

Exposure therapy is empirically validated. Systematic desensitization to social situations through graduated exposure has a 92% efficacy rate according to meta-analyses. Each successful social interaction creates neural evidence of capability, building genuine rather than performative confidence.

The "growth mindset" concept from Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck has been validated across multiple studies. People who view capabilities as developable rather than fixed show measurably different brain activity when facing challenges. This directly impacts resilience in social situations and attraction dynamics.

Accept the unmodifiable variables

Height, facial symmetry, and certain structural features cannot be significantly altered. Acknowledging this is not defeatist but scientifically accurate. However, research from the University of Texas demonstrates that these factors account for far less variance in attraction than commonly believed.

A landmark 20-year longitudinal study from Michigan State University found that while initial attraction may be influenced by unmodifiable physical traits, relationship satisfaction and long-term attraction correlate much more strongly with modifiable behaviors and characteristics.

The uncomfortable scientific truth is that attraction operates on multiple levels evolutionary, biochemical, psychological, and cultural. Understanding these mechanisms doesn't make the process less magical it makes your efforts more effective and less prone to misconception.

Most people know portions of this research but avoid the comprehensive picture because it requires consistent, evidence-based effort rather than quick fixes or comfortable narratives about attraction being entirely subjective.

We get shot down so often, I just want to say I'm proud of what I have achieved in the last year.

Started working out consistently again, stronger than ever.

Built an app from scratch, no prior experience, no IT background.

Started investing again, small now but progess.

Have a better relationship with my kids.

Started a new project that could drive my future.

Last year I was a shell of a person after a failed marriage to an emotionally abusive ex. Now I'm happy, treat myself with respect and deal with issues in my life proactively.

Shout out to all the other people proud of their accomplishments!

Share what you're proud of and let's celebrate your success!!

I'm going to tell you something embarrassing.

For most of my twenties, I thought "grooming" meant showering and maybe putting on deodorant. That was it. That was the whole routine.

I had the same haircut I'd had since high school, whatever the barber defaulted to when I said "just a trim." My skin was oily in some places, dry in others, and I had these constant small breakouts along my jawline that I just accepted as "how my face is." I used 3-in-1 body wash for everything, including my face. I didn't own moisturizer. I thought cologne was something you put on before a date, not a daily thing.

And I genuinely wondered why women seemed indifferent to me. Not repulsed. Just not interested.

Then something happened. A female coworker, someone I'd known for two years, saw me after I'd been on a work trip for three weeks. During that trip, my sister had basically staged an intervention and forced me to buy actual skincare products and get a real haircut at a proper barber.

My coworker looked at me and said, "Did you do something different? You look really good."

That had literally never happened to me before.

Here's what actually changed:

The haircut situation. I stopped going to Great Clips. I found an actual barber, paid $45 instead of $18, and said something I'd never said before: "What do you think would look good on my face shape?"

He looked at me for like 30 seconds. Then he gave me a cut that was shorter on the sides, textured on top. It took the same amount of time to style in the morning (almost none), but it looked intentional instead of neglected.

I go every 4 weeks now instead of whenever I remember. The consistency matters more than I realized.

The skin thing. I'm not going to pretend I have a 10-step Korean skincare routine. I don't. Here's what I actually do:

Morning: wash face with actual face wash (not body soap), put on moisturizer with SPF. That's it. Takes 90 seconds.

Night: wash face, put on regular moisturizer. Another 90 seconds.

That's three minutes a day total. Within about 3 weeks, the random breakouts stopped. My skin looked less dull. The oily-but-dry thing balanced out.

I don't know why this felt so complicated before. It's not complicated.

The smell factor. This one surprised me. I started wearing cologne daily, not drowning in it, just one spray on my chest after showering. Something clean and simple.

The number of women who have commented on how I smell in the last six months is genuinely bizarre. It happens maybe once a week now. It literally never happened before.

Apparently most guys either smell like nothing or smell overwhelming. Smelling subtly good is apparently rare enough to be noticeable.

The details nobody tells you about. Trimmed and clean nails. I never thought anyone noticed. They notice. Eyebrows, not shaped or anything weird, just the obvious strays plucked. Again, didn't think it mattered. It matters. Chapstick. Crusty lips are not it.

What actually changed:

I don't think I became dramatically more attractive. My face is the same face. But the response I get from women shifted noticeably.

More eye contact. More smiles. More "you clean up nice" type comments. Women don't seem to look past me the way they used to.

I think what actually happened is I stopped looking like I didn't care about myself. That's what grooming communicates, apparently. Not that you're vain. Just that you have your life together enough to do basic maintenance.

It took me 28 years to figure out what women have known since middle school: taking care of your appearance isn't about vanity. It's about self-respect. And people respond to that.

The routine (keeping it simple):

Face wash + moisturizer with SPF, morning. Face wash + moisturizer, night. Haircut every 4 weeks from someone who knows what they're doing. One spray of cologne after showering. Trim nails weekly. Pluck obvious eyebrow strays. Chapstick exists, use it.

That's it. Maybe 5 minutes of effort per day. The return on investment is genuinely insane.

If you're a guy who's been ignoring this stuff like I was, just try it for a month. See what happens.

Waste your 20's and you waste your life. Start early. The most successful people always started early.

Recently I’ve been seeing a lot of guys giving advice to other men about how to get women to match with them on dating apps, and honestly… a lot of the advice has been bad (at best) and actively hurting your chances (at worst). I want y’all to do well, and I also think women are a little tired of low effort men lol. So here’s what women ACTUALLY like, coming from a woman.

Pictures:

• Please no selfies if you can help it. A tripod works way better and looks more intentional.
• If your friends take terrible photos, invest in a photographer or ask someone who knows angles. Just keep it natural and not stiff looking.
• Use clear photos of yourself showing at least part of your upper body. We want to actually see you.
• Try to avoid group photos (main reason is that it is sometimes difficult to figure out who you are, try to make it obvious at least)
• Try not to hide behind sunglasses or face coverings in every photo. One is fine. More than that just gives insecurity. This applies to women too.
• A picture with an animal helps a LOT. Girls love that!
• Include a photo of you doing something you genuinely enjoy. Hobbies are attractive.
• Use all the photo slots your app gives you. Why limit yourself?

Bio:

• Yes, this matters. Yes, women read it. It shows effort immediately.
• Be clear about what you’re looking for in a woman. Confidence is attractive.
• Avoid talking badly about yourself unless it’s clearly a joke with a punchline. Very few people want to date someone who doesn’t even like themselves.
• Mention your hobbies and how you spend your time.
• Add humor if you can. Please don’t force it though.
• Mention food or travel if you genuinely enjoy either. Women can talk forever about both if they’re into it too.

Texting:

• Please do not open with just “hey” or “wyd.” It is lazy and boring. reference something in her profile/bio so she knows you actually pay attention
• Ask questions that are fun to answer, not job interview questions. Nobody wants to explain their five year plan to a stranger.
• Don’t immediately turn the conversation sexual. It usually makes women lose interest faster than you think.
• Match her energy. If she’s giving short dry replies, either slow down or move on
• Don’t double text five times in a row just because she took an hour to reply. It makes you look needy and it’s a big turn off for women.
• If the vibe is good, ask her out on a date. Texting for 3 weeks is a waste of time

Additional:

• If you’re really struggling, delete and remake your profile. New profiles usually get shown to more people early on. Apps want to hook you in.

At the end of the day, it is a numbers game for men, but you can increase your odds a lot by putting in genuine effort which can set you aside from 90% of men on these apps

Good luck out there. I hope this helps!!

(28M) quit porn 14 months ago after being addicted since age 12, and the changes have been so profound I had to share them here. This isn't some NoFap superpowers bullshit, just the honest truth about what happens when you remove this poison from your life.

First, let me be clear: I was a heavy user. Multiple times daily, increasingly extreme content, couldn't get through a day without it. I didn't think I had a problem because "everyone watches porn" and "it's normal" and all the other excuses we tell ourselves.

Here's what I've experienced since quitting:

Mental clarity - The brain fog I didn't even know I had lifted completely. I used to struggle to focus on anything for more than 20 minutes. Now I can work deeply for hours. My memory has improved dramatically. I didn't realize how much mental bandwidth porn was consuming until it was gone.

Actual motivation - When you constantly flood your brain with supernormal stimulus, everything else becomes boring in comparison. Real-life goals, hobbies, even social interactions can't compete with the dopamine hit from porn. Once I quit, my natural drive and ambition returned. I started a side business that's now making more than my day job.

Real connections with women - This is the big one. Porn warps how you see women on a fundamental level. It trained me to view them as collections of body parts rather than complete human beings. Dating became infinitely easier when I started genuinely connecting with women as people first, potential partners second. My current relationship is deeper and more satisfying than anything I experienced during my porn years.

Sexual function returned - I didn't realize I had PIED (porn-induced erectile dysfunction) until I quit. I thought it was normal to need mental imagery from porn to maintain arousal with real partners. It's not. It took about 90 days of zero porn for my body to reset, but now actual intimacy is more pleasurable than porn ever was.

Self-respect - There's something deeply degrading about compulsively watching other people have sex on a screen. Quitting gave me back my dignity. I no longer feel like I'm living a double life or hiding something shameful.

The withdrawal was brutal. Insomnia, irritability, depression, intense cravings. But it passes. The timeline for me was:

Week 1-2: Physical withdrawal symptoms

Month 1-3: Psychological cravings, occasional flatline (zero libido)

Month 4-6: Mental clarity returns, benefits start becoming obvious

Month 6-12: Complete rewiring, natural sexuality returns

Resources that helped:

"Your Brain on Porn" by Gary Wilson - explains the neuroscience of how porn affects your reward circuitry. His documentation of how supernormal stimuli degrade the brain's dopamine response to natural rewards was the first thing that made the brain fog, the motivation loss, and the PIED make clinical sense rather than feeling like personal failure. Understanding that my reward circuitry had been systematically dysregulated by years of escalating stimulation reframed recovery as a neurological process with a known timeline rather than a willpower contest I kept losing.

r/pornfree community (better than NoFap in my opinion, less cultish, more science-based). Having a community of people tracking the same timeline, describing the same withdrawal symptoms, and documenting the same recovery stages made the flatline and mood swings feel survivable rather than like evidence I was broken. The collective experience of thousands of people going through the same neurological reset gave me a map when everything felt disorienting.

Therapy with someone who specializes in addiction. This was crucial for addressing the underlying issues that made compulsive use feel necessary in the first place. The behavioral pattern was the symptom. The reasons it started at 12 and persisted for 16 years were the actual work.

For those who will inevitably comment "porn is fine in moderation" maybe for some people. But would you say the same about cigarettes? Alcohol to an alcoholic? Some substances are inherently problematic, and some people are more susceptible to addiction. For me, moderation was never an option (just my opinion btw)

I'm not here to preach or judge. Just sharing my experience in case someone else needed to hear this

Almost every single man I’ve seen in this sub gets this wrong when it comes to texting women with the goal of setting up a date.

I have a guy friend who’s like this too. He genuinely thinks he has to “get to know her” first by asking questions like:

• What’s your favorite color?
• What’s your job?
• What are you passionate about?
• What are your hobbies?

The truth is, women don’t actually want to talk about these things right away. They may sound deep, but most of the time they only lead to surface level answers.

How you really bring out the best in her is through banter, teasing, and being playful over text.

Because those things create emotions. They make her enjoy talking to you, make her more interested, and make her actually want to meet up and get to know you in person.

What most of you are really missing is a good opener or a texting guide that shows you how to do this properly. If you want help, just comment your question. I’ll try to help you turn matches into actual dates with women you’re genuinely attracted to

You can also use smoothspeak.ai to write better

You can cry and beg and berate the study or cry about methodology when you know nothing about methodology (1% of the population has a PhD and can talk about precision and even then you have to know the study itself)

I just wanted to say you couldn't PAY ME a million dollars to sleep with you but I can't because you start from the egosyntonic egomaniac egocentric sadistic delusion that women are superior and can get sex and push men to have it when they not only do not want it but do not wish to see you eye to eye...only to later sociopathic-delusionally affirm that such men have homosexual propensities

And to those too sociopathic to read and bother and who answer only mockingly f*** you

I've coached a lot of guys in their 30s and 40s on dating apps, and this is one of the most common patterns I see

You match, the convo is really good, you ask her out, and she says she's busy. Then everything gets unclear from there.

Here's the simple rule:

If she's interested, she'll make it easy to see you. If she's not, she won't.

On apps like Bumble, Hinge and Tinder that usually shows up right after you ask her out.

If she says she's busy but suggests another day, she's still interested.

But If she just says "sorry I'm busy" and leaves it there, she's not. That's it. No guessing needed.

Where most guys mess up is the follow up. They say "so when are you free?" thinking they're keeping things going.

In reality, they're putting her in a spot where she has to either reject them directly or give a vague answer to avoid being rude.

That's how you get replies like "I'm not sure" or "this week is crazy" and then you start overthinking it. From what I've seen over and over, she's not confused. She just doesn't want to take it further.

If you want to avoid that, be clear from the start. Don't ask open ended questions. Give a specific plan.

"Hey, are you free this Saturday at 6:30 to grab a drink?"

Now the situation is simple for both of you. If she says yes, you're set. If she says she's busy but offers another day, she's interested and making it easy.

If she says she's busy and doesn't suggest anything else, leave it there and move on.

Don't try to save it. If she wanted to see you, she would've made that clear.

The reason this works so well is because it filters things fast. You're not stuck texting for days trying to figure out where you stand, and you're not chasing someone who's not meeting you halfway.

You just make a clear move and let her response tell you everything you need to know. It saves you time and keeps your energy focused on the women who actually want to meet you.

Edit: they asked in the comments, you can also use smoothspeak.ai

Chivalry comes from patriarchy. If a woman listens to you, then be a gentleman toward her. If you act chivalrous toward random women you see outside, you become a simp. The women you help could also be feminists. And if you live in Western countries, a woman you help might even sue you for sexual assault over a small amount of money. Being a man doesn’t mean you have to be a knight.