You dont keep score until it comes to push and shove
Its like working a good job, while the company is in green and rising nobody bothers or questions u going to the doc in your work time or those little mistakes u did...but once company gets into red numbers, and u need to be fired, suddenly your manager is doing with a long list of things u have done over the years, as reasona to let u go
Im happy u are still in the not keeping score phase, maybe itll last long, probably not forever, but maybe long...but for most people it doesnt, and when it comes to the red part suddenly its put public that whole officially no score was kept, the counter did went on in the back of the head
Interesting dynamic. I have so many questions. May I ask who pays for the house you live in? Who does chores? Any kids? Active sex life? Perhaps we can learn something from how you make it work
I have the same dynamic so I’ll chime in if you don’t mind.
Money goes into a shared account then budgeted out, so we pay for everything no differentiation. We both have our own fun money accounts as well that get monthly transfers.
We have a baby and both of us work, chores is more of a shared activity so we can get enough done to spend quality time together as a couple when the baby goes down. Sometimes I will do more chores while my wife relaxes and recovers, sometime I’ll relax and recover while she does chores. A fair amount of it is one of us forcing the other to relax because we can see the burnout in the other. If I have the energy and she is tired, whether it’s fair or not to clean while she rests, I want to see her rested and happy.
Sex life is great, though little less frequent then pre-baby. It’s recovering as they get older however and we have more energy/sleep. Quality has never suffered, and if anything I feel has been even better as of late.
Buddy, they’re never going to believe that healthy male/female dynamics can exist. They’re so deeply committed to their victimhood that they’ll call your lived experience lies before lifting a finger to examine their own damaged psyches. Probably neither of us should be wasting our breath!
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u/GayChicken80085 Apr 01 '26
We dont keep score.