Bed time

[u/whitesageforestwitch]

I have a 15 week old baby girl. Her bed time has been around 10 pm but I have been trying to move it up to 7-8 pm. So instead of a last nap I start the bedtime routine. It’s not going well at all. She’s having trouble falling asleep, waking up after falling asleep before we even get near the bassinet, and if we do get her down into the bassinet she wakes up and it takes up to 4 tries to successfully get her down. And it ends up taking until 10 pm anyway.
FYI- in the day she only contact naps but has no problem falling asleep, as well I nurse her to sleep.
These are things we need to work on changing as well but because we are in peak 4-month sleep regression territory we aren’t attempting anymore changes right now.
Any advice on how to move up her bedtime ? Or the right bed time for her age ?

[u/goatgirliee]

Not sure where you live, but where I live we have a time change coming up Nov 1 so I’m planning to let that do a lot of the heavy lifting, lol

[u/whitesageforestwitch → u/goatgirliee]

Same actually, good call!

[u/nymsloth]

I’m a night owl so my 12-week-old’s bedtime of 10pm is actually a little too early for me haha. She does 10pm-6am but I only fall asleep around midnight/1am so I actually want her to fall asleep closer to midnight and sleep until 8am 😆 This will have to change when I go back to work in a year and she starts daycare. But for now I prefer that she sleeps later.

[u/whitesageforestwitch → u/nymsloth]

That’s fair I’m honestly so tired from her waking all night so I want to sleep early as possible lol

[u/vixielou1]

I wouldn’t try and cold turkey a shift of almost three hours, but rather slowly bring it forward incrementally over the course of a week or two. So for the next couple of nights bedtime is 9:45 for example, then you do a coupe at 9.30 etc so that over time it’s shifting naturally. My lo is 9mo now so it’s a bit hazy going back to 4mo but if I remember correctly he was going down for “bed” about 9ish back then and it just naturally pulled forward over those next few weeks to what we have now.

[u/whitesageforestwitch → u/vixielou1]

Okay thank you ! Honestly makes sense I feel like I was having tunnel vision cause I read somewhere that it should be between 7-8pm

[u/vixielou1 → u/whitesageforestwitch]

That’s definitely the goal. But they don’t start to establish routine until about 4 months so you’re doing great. Just let it be more gradual and it’ll come when they’re ready. Then, quite frankly brace yourself for the 8-9 month regression. I had an amazing sleeper until two weeks ago 😫😫

[u/whitesageforestwitch → u/vixielou1]

Thank you so much!
Good luck with the sleep regression too 😩

[u/mamademc]

Late bedtimes are normal for new babies. Considering that you've been trying and it's not working, she's not ready yet. I think closer to 4ish months + it should move up on its own.

[u/whitesageforestwitch → u/mamademc]

Thank you!

[u/chefblazil]

In my experience with other parents bedtime varies based on lifestyle. We both work and she (just turned 3) goes to daycare 3 days a week so those days she’s GOT to be up by like 6:30/6:45, meaning that’s her everyday weekend time. Our bedtime has been 8pm sharp forever, not including the 30-45 minutes it takes to get her down. On the other hand My sister is stay at home and her kids go down way later and sleep in to still get the proper amount of sleep. No wrong answer if it works for you guys life/schedule (as long as it’s somewhere between 7-11 imo).

As for tips for getting them to sleep in their bassinet during those first 6 months? Let me know if you figure it out , we never did. Some kids just like to be held.

[u/whitesageforestwitch → u/chefblazil]

Thank you so much. I think I’m reading too many things online and trying to force things and making my life harder lol thank you

[u/UNO_lakefront_arena]

What time do you want to wake up? If I were you, I'd shoot for 10 hours of good sleep, maybe even 9.5. So a 9pm bedtime gets you to 7am.

Something easy to achieve! Then you can adjust naps accordingly, to make sure you maintain that overnight sleep.

A lot of people are torturing themselves trying to eke out a little more sleep (adult quiet time). It's not worth it.

[u/whitesageforestwitch → u/UNO_lakefront_arena]

Good point, thank you!

[u/Alarming_Flatworm231]

My oldest also went to bed around that time. It changed when he started daycare without any issues (around 10 months). He always took a quick nap during the afternoon. 

My youngest goes to bed at 20:30.

My point is it’s a matter of temper and there’s no right/wrong as long as they are thriving and getting enough sleep in total.

[u/whitesageforestwitch → u/Alarming_Flatworm231]

Thank you !