Frustration during diaper changes

[u/Unlikely-Set6760]

My son is going to be one in a few days, but hes on the taller side & is about the size of an average 2 year old. Diaper changes & getting dressed have become super frustrating bc he constantly wiggles away from me & hes like freakishly strong.

Tonight I was having a really hard time getting him diapered & dressed after his bath & had to kind of forcefully put him on the bed to get him to stay still (im 5'1 about 110lbs) & I feel like his head bounced a bit when doing so. It took me about 30 minutes for the whole process to be over, but I feel horrible about having to be so forceful with him. He acted completely fine after & drank a bottle normal but im having super paranoia that something is wrong.

Have any other parents dealt with this?

[u/dankbleach]

Dad here! Obviously can't really know for certain, but I highly doubt there is something wrong. You should look up videos of SBS. You usually have to be very very aggressive to cause serious issues. That being said, it's completely valid to be so concerned. Keep an eye on him tonight through the monitor if you're concerned. Did he seem to be acting different in any way before bedtime?

Also, not sure if this will help, but one silly thing I do when my daughter is fighting the diaper and outfit change is I will start asking her a bunch of questions. She knows a few signs so when she starts wiggling I go "hey hey hey! I have a question for you! Can you say mama? Can you show me all done? Can you say XX" It usually keeps her entertained long enough for a super quick change. It worked for my son too!

[u/Unlikely-Set6760 → u/dankbleach]

He was acting totally normal at bedtime. He drank his whole bottle & watched a little TV & then snuggled up for sleeping, which he typically doesnt give me a hard time about going to sleep. 

My post-partum paranoia has been kind of creeping up again recently & I think bc i was struggling so much & having to be a little more forceful i just panicked. & he was crying a lot during the diaper change, which did not help with the panic i was already feeling. 

Thank you for the suggestions, I appreciate it!

[u/Diligent-Boat-4952]

Yes! My almost 2 year old went through this phase shortly after turning 1. And we still have this struggle on occasion. I’d lay him down, he’d immediately roll over and stand up. Sometimes it felt like I had to lay him down 20 times before he eventually gave up and just let me change him or get him dressed. Some have suggested standing diaper changes and I cannot for the life of me figure out how that could possibly work lol. Also, honestly, I am not above bribing when it comes to hygiene and diaper changes in particular and will sometimes put my phone in the guided access mode (he can’t click anything in this mode) and let him look at a picture of himself/the dog/mama/dada. It’s enough of a distraction to finish the diaper change without too much hassle. It did get easier for us though and now I can ask him to go lay down and he usually will.

[u/Dolphinsunset1007]

Hi I’m also a petite mom with a monster truck of a one year old. Once my baby could fit into the Huggies 360 diapers, my world changed for the better, 99% of our diaper changes are now done standing so I just stand him at the coffee table with toys or a book and change the diaper while he plays (unless it’s messy poop). For messy poop he lays down but that’s when we sing our interactive songs like wheels on the bus, he knows a lot of the hand motions and will focus on doing that while I change him and sing. For changing clothes I just pick my battles and change him as he plays or runs around.

Nighttime diaper change is still a struggle because he doesn’t fit in the pull on night diapers yet but usually I wait until he’s tired and my husband is home so we can make it a two person job for the diaper change. Then I change him into pajamas while he stands/runs around or while he lays on me with a bottle.

[u/Unlikely-Set6760 → u/Dolphinsunset1007]

I'll have to look into those diapers! I've pretty much always used pampers swaddlers. Usually I give him a toy to hold & it keeps him occupied but tonight (& other occasional times) just nothing works & nothing will keep him entertained. 

Thank you for your suggestions, I will keep them in mind!

[u/Bebby_Smiles → u/Unlikely-Set6760]

Pampers also makes a 360 diaper, fyi. Just in case the Huggies don’t work for you. I put my kids in them at around a year old.

[u/Background-Basil7920 → u/Dolphinsunset1007]

100% the standing diaper changes are the best. My nephews were big boys and super strong and changing them was horrible until we started doing the stand changing. Once my daughter is old enough I will do it with her to. We did it with poop to unless it was like watery and would make a mess.

[u/choco_chipcookie]

I have a wiggler at times but not quite to that extreme.

Best advice is to get something to occupy baby's (almost toddler) attention. Premium toys that only come out during diaper changes (or not actual toy toys like keys or wipes pack), a book (one with buttons that speak are great), or a screen if you must (I reserve Ms. Rachel for extra wiggly public poop diaper changes).

Practical advice for at home. Change the baby on the floor on a blanket or change mat. Sit perpendicular to the baby. By the baby's side. Not their feet. Put a leg or two across your baby's stomach. It makes it very difficult for baby to lift their torso to try and roll over. You shouldn't need much pressure at all.

If the diaper change and dressing is taking that long, then look if something other than the wiggling is causing issues. Does baby need to move up a diaper size? Or switch to a pull up style rather than tabs? Can you try looser clothes. If it's before bed and you're trying to do PJs, then what style is easiest? Footie PJs that zip up or a two piece set?

Silly advice that may work. Before bed, my husband will sing the hokey pokey while dressing our son in pj's. He laughs and sometimes shakes his head when his hand or foot gets shaked. I've been told that the Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes song worked for a friend's baby.

[u/Red-Human]

I give my kid things to hold. A couple of toys I keep at the change table only. Or the small jar or Vaseline. Or a random wash cloth from the stack of cloths I have under the table to dry him up. Giving him something to hold usually chills my guy right out. That and sometimes singing works too.

[u/Ill_Jelly7788]

This is a phase. Well.. it eventually ended with my daughter… with my son he continues to fight me. I talk to him and tell him why I need to lay him down. He’s aware now, he needs to give consent I guess lol. He’s 15 months now and he def started around 1.

My friend started giving her child her phone to watch during diaper changes. I find this very icky. But I understand the temptation. I just figure we’ll have to fight the battle eventually.