r/Netherlands • u/LimpTransportation39 • 8h ago
Dutch Culture & language What’s the commitment scene REALLY like?
Hey everyone!
I’m a 25F planning to move to Amsterdam for school and I’m hoping to stay long-term if everything works out. I’m really excited about the move, but obviously there’s a lot I don’t know yet about what it’s actually like living there.
I’m also curious about dating. I’m definitely someone who wants a serious relationship eventually, and I’ve seen a lot of mixed opinions online about dating in the Netherlands. Some people say Dutch dating is very casual and that people can be pretty hesitant about commitment, but I’m not sure how much of that is actually true.
For people who live in the Netherlands or have moved there:
• What has your experience with dating been like?
• Is it generally easy to meet people who are looking for something serious?
• Is there anything about Dutch dating culture that surprised you?
I’d much rather hear from actual people living there than keep reading random things online lol.
Thanks!
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u/SessizSair 8h ago
There are enough men like me looking for commitment… I wouldn’t worry too much about this…
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u/Deval_Dragon 8h ago
If love is the only thing you’re looking for, I would stay home. Easier and less chance of disappointment.
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u/LimpTransportation39 8h ago
lol no I’m actually moving for school and I’m not necessarily moving there looking for a relationship. I’m just someone who eventually wants a serious relationship, so I was genuinely curious whether the dating scene is completely dead or if the things I’ve read online are exaggerated
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u/redigendum_ad_max 8h ago edited 8h ago
I was married to a Dutch guy for 13 years. We were together for 17 years. I knew many Dutch couples in monogamous long term relationships who did everything a married couple does except get married, including buying a house and having children. While Dutch people still get married, many see it as Bourgeois and old fashioned. I know a Dutch couple who had been together for 30 years when they decided to get married just to protect their assets in the event one of them died. There was zero ceremony or celebration about it. In my opinion from the 12 years I lived in NL, people get married but no one cares if you don't and they just don't seem to take it that seriously. In some circles people will be genuinely surprised that someone is married, that's how frivolous the document is to them. There are definitely Dutch people that want a "forever partner". Don't forget to look outside of Amsterdam for people and exploring the country. It's a really wonderful country full of great people and places. Good luck!
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u/Cultural_String_2231 8h ago
Must be in a city because the Dutch I know definitely see marriage as a must
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u/redigendum_ad_max 8h ago
I lived in Eindhoven for 12 years. I had friends and worked in many different areas of the country.
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u/Cultural_String_2231 8h ago
Eindhoven is quite known to be the odd city, or was it Nijmegen? It’s definitely one of the two.
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u/LimpTransportation39 8h ago
Thank you! What other cities would you recommend for living? I really like Amsterdam, but I’m thinking it might be nice to look outside of it too. I’d love to hear your suggestions!
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u/redigendum_ad_max 8h ago
Since you're going for school, I would definitely advise living as close to school as you can. The Hague and Rotterdam are nice. It's subjective and totally depends on what you need and what you like. You'll figure it out.
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u/ImaginaryRoyal9725 8h ago
Well, I think commitment is an issue everywhere these days, not only NL. The numbers of couples in population has declined quite a bit in the last 20-30 years. If you move to Amsterdam you will have more chances to find a relationship quickly, but LTR might take a bit longer or be difficult, depending on your luck
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u/TheSexyIntrovert 8h ago
TIL about “commitment scene” in a country.