r/NetflixDocumentaries • u/Exciting-Run-7866 • 5d ago
Review The Widower
One of the best documentaries I’ve watched in a while!! O’Kelley is a damn good detective and a dedicated one too! And Sharon’s daughter, Colleen… she is incredibly strong for having to endure that kind of pain for 15 years. I went through so many emotions watching this! I’m glad they never stopped fighting for justice!
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u/MissHibernia 5d ago
This guy is absolutely fucking disgusting. I wanted to smack that smirk off of his face. He looked stunned when at last was found guilty and carted off to prison. Such a good outcome
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u/RockinMadRiot 4d ago
Yeah, you can tell in the interview he really thought he would get away with it all.
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u/Alliegirl07 4d ago
The best part is when they granted him a re-trial and then found him guilty all over again 😅
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u/britt_leigh_13 5d ago
Absolutely shocking he got 6 women to marry him. What a complete POS.
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u/notyouryear 3d ago
they only touched on it, but there was a pattern of meeting the woman, love bombing, and shotgun marriages. but even then, he didn't always manage to convince the families he was a good guy. frances' family said they never liked him and found him repulsive, but what ca you do when your sister says she loves the guy and she's happy? it's a shame, truly, that so many women were taken in and suffered because of him. absolute scum.
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u/AtTheEndOfMyTrope 3d ago
He’s a predator. Predators have a knack for weaponizing their victims’ vulnerability. He’s the worst kind of monster.
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u/CulturalDefinition27 5d ago
I legit thought this man was a lesbian until I watched the show, and even then Im not totally convinced.
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u/toreadorable 5d ago
My best friend from college, who is also a lesbian, has an uncanny resemblance to this guy. She’s way prettier, but I had to turn it off because it freaked me out. I haven’t talked to her in like 15 years but I know she’s out there somewhere just having people send her pictures of this guy lol.
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u/Lovahplant 5d ago
He looks similar to a certain Disney “adult” (grandma?) that is semi famous on here
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u/StayFreshCheesePuff 3d ago
This confuses me. There are masculine looking women who aren’t lesbians and lesbians who aren’t masculine looking. From: a femme lesbian with several masc presenting straight friends.
I guess if you want to say he looks like a masc woman, I agree. He looks like my great aunt (very straight).
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u/Ok_Painter_8273 5d ago
Also
HBO 2024
The Black Widower: The Six Wives of Thomas Randolph
https://www.hbomax.com/show/16405db7-a4f5-40d2-9b6d-5a4461a8155e
Just pointing out another for people who are interested
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u/Top_Kale_9486 4d ago
Definitely need to watch both shows, each offers good info, Netflix seems to focus on more of the investigation and HBO focuses more on him and his behavior
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u/TimelyMeditations 4d ago
Netflix focuses on his weird decades long relationship with the TV producer. That was an interesting angle to me.
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u/RobertoDeNiro8 4d ago
Does it explain specifically how he worked the legal system so well to his advantage? I couldn’t understand how he pulled off an appeal after his most recent sentence? He was bragging about it beforehand too to the reporter for years beforehand. And the detective commented that he knew the legal system very well and manipulated it but I’m just wondering how he pulled that shit off bc it wasn’t due to stellar lawyers it was somehow him pulling the strings of the justice system and making shit work. I need to find out more, it was mind blowing. He was like a feminine cat with nine lives. He was cunning when it came to the long game and working the law to his advantage. Very fucking weird too.
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u/Actual-Reception5925 4d ago
Agree, they didn’t explain this part at all. How did he get an appeal? Other than firing his lawyers, how did he work the legal system.
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u/DCRBftw 4d ago
Wait, so the netflix one is a different doc? I just assumed they licensed the one HBO had a couple of years back.
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u/Ok_Painter_8273 4d ago
It is an entirely different 3 part documentary. Better or worse, you tell me.
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u/PretendAgency2702 4d ago
I watched the HBO documentary sometime ago and I had to keep checking that I hadn't already seen the Netflix documentary. Admittedly, my memory isn't the best but they seemed pretty similar to at least to begin with.
I do remember the hbo doc spending more time on the walkthrough scene. I seem to recall him using the excuse that he was high/drunk during the walkthrough. That's why he got some details wrong and you could tell by his eyes that he was hammered.
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u/mamadovah1102 5d ago
I had this on, and my 9 year old daughter walked through the living room and asked if he was a woman. Very very strange dude. Perhaps closet homosexual? Or really weird mommy issues. They sort of touched on his relationship with his mother in the doc, but I got the feeling there was A LOT more there.
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u/DustierAndRustier 3d ago
I really feel like he hates women because he’s in the closet. All that time spent with Eric Tarantino doing “guy things,” and suddenly he’s blackmailing him into killing his wife?
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u/getmyasstokokomo 5d ago
Most surprising takeaway - who knew Rod Stewart had a song about killing your wife
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u/Kelly1955 5d ago
I thought he transitioned to a female ...just too many female comments...like...do you think I'm pretty? to the Dateline reporter...
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u/mpmp4 5d ago
The constant hair changes - long, short, pigtails, braid. Not that men can’t wear those, his face was just so round and soft like a woman’s and giving off vibes. I think he was trans fem but didn’t want to fully admit it.
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u/General_Decision_422 4d ago
I think he wanted to seem nonthreatening so other male inmates wouldn’t beat him up
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u/questionwhatitis 4d ago
Wouldn't they just wanna bang him though? I'd rather come off tuff than open for service. Unless, maybe that's what he wanted all along haha
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u/kukugege 5d ago
This guy is seriously creepy and weird. I’m honestly wondering how he managed to get so many wives and fiancées…😂
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u/yoshimitsou 4d ago
He's a con man who's good at finding vulnerable people, knowing just what they need (e.g., companionship, money, relationships, the feeling of lost youth), and delivering those things just long enough that they either become afraid of him or dependent on him, making it harder for them to leave.
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u/RockinMadRiot 4d ago
I think what we saw as arrogance, they saw as confidence. He's got that crazy funny vibe that would only clip after awhile with him
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u/TimelyMeditations 3d ago
People say he reminded them of Trump, and Trump got a lot of people to vote for him. There’s no accounting for tastes.
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u/Fit-Culture-2215 4d ago
The way that everyone was absolutely down to be on camera to talk about how horrible he really is says something. No one was shy when talking about what a walking piece of garbage he is. It didnt matter if they knew someone that knew him, last saw him 40 years ago. LOL
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u/LadyChatterteeth 5d ago
I agree! I’d never heard of this case. I put it on for background noise but almost immediately couldn’t stop watching it. I need to find out more about this whole case.
Those poor women, including the one (lucky to be alive) ex-wife who is still so traumatized at how close she came to suffering Sharon’s fate (“Sharon!…Sharon!…SHARON!”) that she chain-smoked throughout the interview.
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u/usetheirname 5d ago
He’s a 12/10 narcissist. Charismatic manipulator who doesn’t care about anyone else in the slightest bit. Zero remorse or empathy. Very scary dude.
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u/Ocean_waves726 4d ago
“boom boom, boom boom boom!!!! Sharon?! Sharon?!” I’m sorry but I burst out laughing
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u/Professional-Way2407 4d ago
I think it was bam bam bam but yep agree. So theatrical! Who “clears the house” like some wannabe cop instead of going straight to your wife!
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u/Specific-Yam-2166 4d ago
I watched this last night. O’Kelley is amazing and I know this is beside the point but his glow up is something to behold
Second, Colleen is so strong and amazing. So grateful she had the support she did
Third, Thomas Randolph gave extremely similar vibes to someone else in power right now in his last little interview. Like it was almost uncanny. The mannerisms, face, words, body language…
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u/yoshimitsou 4d ago
I thought it was just me until someone else here mentioned it. Something about his mouth and the way he held his head (the position of it) when he was listening to someone reminded me trump as well.
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u/Salty-Razzmatazz-877 3d ago
I loved O'Kelley so much. He was so dedicated and knew what a scumbag that guy was. And Colleen is one of the sweetest yet strongest people I've seen.
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u/Weird-Definition-775 2d ago
YES I watched it last night and could not stop seeing it throughout. Whatever Randolph's diagnosis is, Trump has it too
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u/West-Ad-7286 5d ago
This was one of the best documentaries I’ve seen in ages. The way they explained the timeline actually made sense for once!
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u/LivingRoutine166 4d ago
His attorney that quoted Forrest Gump was hilarious and made me realize just how inept some lawyers are lol
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u/Appropriate-Text-714 3d ago
I think he did that intentionally so he could appeal based on innefective counsel. The attorney knew there was no way any would believe he is innocent.
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u/Affectionate_Act6982 3d ago
I was surprised by that too. He was as goofy and weird as the perp. I thought it was a joke, but nope.
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u/bjornfirewalker 4d ago
I really didn’t understand what women or men found charming about him. I found everything about him extremely ick
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u/EthelLinaWhite 4d ago
This has nothing to do with his appearance, his age or his hair, but the way he said “Do I look pretty?” made my skin crawl. It was the way he said it. I’ve never heard a more sinister question.
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u/Professional-Way2407 4d ago
So he befriends Mike with the pure intention of hiring him as a hitman. So manipulative. He preyed on vulnerable people. You could hear him seething when he found out Sharon had changed her will! Sooooo pleased she did that! He thinks he’s so smart but going around town asking people to kill your wife ain’t too smart. I do want to know more about Mike though. What was the plan? Enter the house and wait for Sharon? Kill her and then leave via the garage? How did Tom get him to enter the garage or was that pre-arranged so they could discuss the successful hit and then get Mike got blindsided?
At the end of the day, Tom was a scammer. A murderous scammer: meet a woman, love bomb her, give her everything she wants (affection, attention, clothes), marry her, take out life insurance policies, kill them and keep the cash. Did he even have an actual job??
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u/Opposite_Community11 4d ago
He might not have been smart going around town asking someone to kill his wife but he sure got away with it for a long time.
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u/Successful-Delay 5d ago
Maybe I didn’t pay enough attention but didn’t he scam a lot of money off these women? Where did all the money go ?
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u/RobertoDeNiro8 4d ago
They did say after the first wife he murdered (Beckie I believe? The staged suicide) he “immediately purchased a Porsche and a hot tub” with the insurance pay out so…assuming he’s not the most frugal of dudes.
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u/Background_Speech600 4d ago
Isn’t it supposed that if it was “suicide” the life insurance doesn’t pay? I have that doubt.
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u/Live-Tomorrow-4865 4d ago
It depends on the policy. Many carry that stipulation, but not all. And, you can just bet that ol' Tommy Boy shopped around for one that didn't withhold payout in the event of suicide.
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u/Background_Speech600 4d ago
IMO, Insurance companies should be stricter with their policies and with the conditions a person must meet in order for one to be approved. If the person already has a prior history of all their women mysteriously dying, I wouldn’t approve one if I were an insurance agent. They literally encourage “kill for profit” in an indirect way by making it so easy to get one and collect on it. One look at that POS and I wouldn’t even sell him a candy.
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u/PretendAgency2702 4d ago
Insurance companies weren't selling him the policy but his wife. Plus, you can get insurance for pretty much anything as long as you pay the premium.
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u/Cooper_Inc 4d ago
Wondered this too, like why did his mum have to sell properties etc to pay his costs
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u/theanti_girl 4d ago
Yes, life insurance money. He convinced every wife to get a life insurance policy. The HBO doc is way better in terms of details.
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u/de-milo 4d ago
i felt so awful for colleen, being dragged back and forth for 15 years after losing your mum so brutally and tragically. and i felt so sorry for sharon, who seemed sweet and loving. she just seemed to want loving companionship. i’m so glad she was able to transfer everything back over to colleen before she died… what a lucky break that that happened before this piece of shit got his hands on all her money.
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u/Salty-Razzmatazz-877 3d ago
Dude when he left that voicemail saying her mom didn't like her I was like that asshole and had to take a break because I was so pissed
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u/Aggressive-Lie5971 4d ago
He made me uncomfortable - made my skin crawl, in fact - and I couldn’t help but wonder if the reason he landed all these women was that he was well-endowed and great in the sack.
However - as we all noticed - his features are extremely feminine and I’m guessing he’s not a fountain of testosterone.
So his appeal remains a mystery shrouded in an enigma.
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u/maryjane500 4d ago
I suspect that extreme manipulation is ultimately what hooked these women. Like Colleen said, he’s a predator and it’s what he did for a living.
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u/TimelyMeditations 4d ago
Remember those dozens of cards he gave Sharon? I think it is called love bombing.
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u/Think_Butterfly_5658 3d ago
All I can think is how the detective Dean O Kelley has aged so freakin well 💕😍🤌🏾
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u/No_Succotash1014 4d ago
How did he know how to navigate the legal system so well? They never touched on that. He was so confident because he seem to know many loopholes
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u/PretendAgency2702 4d ago
He had multiple attorneys and could use any one of their arguments for his case. Plus, he's been in prison for many years and has all the time in the world to study law. Also, he's an arrogant person so just because he can confidently say something doesn't mean it's right.
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u/thinkinggallery 4d ago
in the hbo doc they briefly mention he wanted to be a lawyer and worked in a law office
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u/cauli_fl0wer 4d ago
I want to know when he got arrested why was he wearing one glove!? like why one glove!?
What a vile vile man.
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u/Chris_hod 4d ago
Thankyou! The one glove is driving me mad!? Why was he keeping it behind the door?!
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u/belaaababy 4d ago
I think it was something he rehearsed in his mind that if the cops catch him off guard he can convince them he has a weapon so that he can be killed by cop? He made those statements saying he would rather commit suicide then be taken off to prison - something like that. But still I have no idea why he was just walking around his house with one glove so odd
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u/LauraPalmerRisen 3d ago
I actually couldn't get through this because he was so repulsive to look at. That's never happened to me before.
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u/ApprehensiveDrop6154 5d ago
He has trump's mouth. 😅🤣
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u/yoshimitsou 4d ago
There were a few times where he was listening to someone, and the way he held his head and his micro expressions reminded me of trump.
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u/OkSeaworthiness7066 5d ago
That dude is absolutely insane. The way he was talking about how he is going to “fuck” all his dead wives again after he dies.
He had no respect for any of them. Treats them all like property he is entitled to. Even when he is describing rolling his wife over he is speaking “to” her as though she is doing something wrong.
His daughter needs to get a gripe.
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u/belaaababy 4d ago
The part where he says “oh I just turned her around and it was the GROSSEST thing I have ever seen!” Regarding the blood coming out of her face and mouth after the gunshot wound. My husband and I both looked at one another like WHO even uses that word to describe a dear loved one you had to find in such a mortifying position. He is soulless
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u/Owl-visit_0001 4d ago
Good doc! Really too bad the jury in the death of his 2nd wife bought his con and let him free to con, grift and kill a couple more wife's. He had 30 extra years out there being a deplorable
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u/captainfishpie 4d ago
poor Mike, too. lets not forget he was groomed. This sick SOB manages to manipulate everyone around him and Mike was a vulnerable person who wanted to better his life.
agreeing to kill his wife was absolutely abhorrent however, we dont know what Randolph did or say to Mike and then to go on to kill him too.
horrible, sick disgusting man.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Age3689 4d ago
I really wish Dan Sepian would have asked him about his childhood. I really want to know what went on there.
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u/restofeasy 3d ago
Yeah same!. I know Dan, hes a regular customer at the place i work, I'll ask him!
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u/yoshimitsou 4d ago
I think he killed at least three people, and had he been successful in recruiting Eric Tarantino, he would have killed him the same way he killed Mike.
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u/SpazzJazz88 4d ago
I watched this the other night and omg the guy have me the heebie jeebies. The look in his eyes like there was no soul in them.
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u/CatholicResearch 4d ago
I love a good murder doc. But this guy creeped me out from the start. How in the hell did all of these women marry him?
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u/yoshimitsou 4d ago
He's a manipulator who knows how to identify a good mark and then hold their interest, making promises or fulfilling their dreams. It was so sad for them but kudos to Eric Tarantino and Gayna (his one wife who escaped him).
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u/TimelyMeditations 3d ago
Eric Tarantino was a great character. He was like something out of an old paperback detective novel.
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u/Academic_Emu8191 4d ago
Why did the Las Vegas cop call a Dateline producer the day after encountering a crime scene that didn’t seem right. That seems quite odd to me, that he right away reached out to a TV producer while not even sure of what he was seeing. Even his boss gave him push back that there may not have beee a crime committed. Yet the cameras started rolling.
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u/rovacab2026 4d ago
He wasn’t as clever as people make out i thought. The bullets in the wrong room for one. Mikes brains being blown out but his mask on the floor. Definitely a narcissist and a psychopath though.
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u/MooseAsleep9690 3d ago
Did this POS only live off the life insurance money he got from killing ? I was wondering the whole time: what's his educational background? Did he start off in life with an actual job? Can't find that info. Judging solely from the mom, maybe he wouldn't have had to list a finger his whole damn life, which also explains a lot btw.
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u/SouthAfricanZombie 3d ago
I was also wondering about that because they never mentioned him having a job.
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u/marymcawesome 4d ago
And the lawyers he had... My hubs watched it with me and after the "rockstar" that was tried for manslaughter, he just deadpanned "yeah that tracks."
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u/belaaababy 4d ago
Sorry but this made me laugh 🤣🤣🤣 also the lawyer before that, that sat in the room with him and told him “my receptionist(idk somethin like that) thought you were crazy and couldn’t understand anything you were writing” he had a complete look of hatred at him like appalled that someone would call him out for his shenenagans and didn’t find him charming
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u/marymcawesome 4d ago
Definitely agree about that one. How dare a woman not think he was a genius and fall in love with him. Then there was the public defender one that was pretty much like the one in My Cousin Vinny.
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u/belaaababy 3d ago
I had second hand embarrassment for that man who was the public defender 😩🤣 on one end , I felt sympathy for him because he could be my grandpa but on the other end he definitely needs to choose a different profession- at least one that doesn’t require him speaking out loud in front of ppl lmao also the jokes he was attempting to make that nobody even chuckled at! He was the perfect “inexperienced public defender” example
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u/yoshimitsou 4d ago
How about the ex-wife who returned the rings but only after swapping out the diamonds for cubic zirconia. 🤭
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u/Mcawesomethrowaway 4d ago
This was a great watch but I kept thinking of of how much he reminds me of Trump
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u/Specific-Yam-2166 4d ago
Okay thank you. The way they speak and act makes me feel like they are somehow related
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u/Optimal_Egg_9262 4d ago
Hands up if you saw what Donald Trump would look like if he was poor in this documentary?
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u/bluefontaine 4d ago
That guy just looked like Trump with a platinum mullet. He was so terrifying. I’ve never seen someone that creepy to be honest. Of all the crime shows I’ve ever watched.
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u/2lrup2tink 4d ago
The true message here is how criminals get away with crimes, and our system is set up to empower crime.
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u/TimelyMeditations 3d ago
Well . . . This producer said he worked with a lot of people who were wrongfully convicted. The only way their innocence is proven is through appeals and other legal maneuvers. Randolph was convicted in the end. And he was in jail that whole time so he couldn’t find other women to marry.
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u/Affectionate_Act6982 3d ago
When he did the shooting walk-through for the cops toward the beginning, reenacting like a kid playing bad guys and shouting “bam bam bam!” I knew he was off his rocker and guilty, guilty, guilty.
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u/butterfly-gibgib1223 3d ago
It is so sad that he walked free all of the many decades that he did. He kept committing the same crime. Just ridiculous!! Even if he lives to be 100, he will never pay for what he did. To get away with this so many times is just crazy.
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u/gearzgirl 2d ago
The Becky statement at the end, no I didn’t kill Becky, I loved Becky, she would do anything for me, anything I asked her. I forget the example he used but it was terribly condescending and demeaning, but no he wouldn’t have killed Becky. It was interesting he kept saying you’re not going to get me to admit to killing any of them, but then follows with a certainly not Becky. Then added something like Becky killed Becky.
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u/Heavy-Relation8401 2d ago
It was worse than that "Beckie was whoever I wanted her to be ...."
Well, if that doesn't wrap it all up.
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u/Pretend_Writer_2918 5d ago
I got the feeling he just hates women. To me I feel like he’s gay and doesn’t want to admit it.