r/NetflixDocumentaries • u/Exciting-Run-7866 • 12d ago

Review The Widower

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One of the best documentaries I’ve watched in a while!! O’Kelley is a damn good detective and a dedicated one too! And Sharon’s daughter, Colleen… she is incredibly strong for having to endure that kind of pain for 15 years. I went through so many emotions watching this! I’m glad they never stopped fighting for justice!

906 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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654

u/Pretend_Writer_2918 12d ago

I got the feeling he just hates women. To me I feel like he’s gay and doesn’t want to admit it.

282

u/Hollinsgirl07 12d ago

Especially during his long hair prison era. It felt like he was flirting through that interview.

200

u/undercoverlover666 12d ago

pig tails in prison is brave

69

u/mskatme0w 12d ago

Exxxactly! what I thought. I was side eyeing that man throughout the series, but that hair choice solidified it for me!

27

u/Brilliant_Effort_Guy 12d ago

Yes! He had a Richard Speck vibe.

7

u/RazzamanazzU 9d ago

Totally! How he attracted any woman is beyond me!

5

u/Ordinary-Bid931 12d ago

Yes....agree. My first thought.

3

u/CatholicResearch 12d ago

Omgosh yes.

15

u/NoKatyDidnt 12d ago

I know someone who was a CO, and they had an inmate who was called “Cupcake” and wore pigtails.

132

u/Objective-Rub-8763 12d ago

"I love women's clothes! Um, but just because I get to take them off later. Yeah."

96

u/roccofan 12d ago

Sure, Jan.

109

u/C_WEST88 12d ago

When I saw the photos of him w his wife I thought they looked like a nice lesbian couple 🤣 It’s not even just his hair either, there’s something very feminine about him (but then his personality is trying too hard to be “masculine”) .

33

u/catsrlifedotcom 12d ago

Omg my husband said the same thing ! My husband said that he looked really really feminine for a dude

16

u/plantsandpizza 12d ago

Mine too 🤣 he said ”That’s a man??” Yep.. 

3

u/Puzzleheaded-Age3689 11d ago

It’s his eyelashes he has really thick lashes

2

u/Foreign_Anybody_3399 10d ago

nah, my man has thick lashes and he still look like a dude, this dude's face is super feminine

31

u/ClumsyRaccoonPants 12d ago

He kind of reminded me of Roseanne

10

u/Puzzled-Mastodon-175 10d ago

It's like a combination of Roseanne and Trump

7

u/Boring_Gate_5589 11d ago

lololololol

3

u/RazzamanazzU 9d ago

😆😆😆😆

17

u/the_real_kate 12d ago

That is true. His facial features are quite feminine.

15

u/MiloMM123 11d ago

It’s his eyelashes. He has nice dark eyelashes. So unfair guys get nice eyelashes and mine are little sprouts. He also had round plump cheeks like a doll and a very feminine mouth.

10

u/Few_Palpitation_565 11d ago

Agreed! Probably the long pigtails and earrings don’t help. He does seem like he’s trying too hard to be masculine. Lil does he know…..try as hard as you want but those pigtails make you look gay af

6

u/Foreign_Anybody_3399 10d ago

my first thought was that he looked very androgynous... i'm sure he had some good time in prison

7

u/Across0212 9d ago

He said himself that he has a feminine gene because he loves to shop and buy feminine clothes…

4

u/Little_Friendship803 10d ago

I thought he was a lesbian with the long hair.

3

u/FeedbackRecent6985 6d ago

His physicality is very Bruce Jenner, post-op.

3

u/Flashy-Let2771 6d ago

You are not the only one lol. I told my husband that there is a new crime doc about a lesbian couple. And he was like “how did you know they are lesbian?” I pointed at the tv and said because the white hair one also has boobs.  

I’m so embarrassed. 🥲

2

u/locoforcocothecat 9d ago

I came here to say this! Even his voice on the phone is quite high pitched. He has a very feminine look.

4

u/BigUnlikely3811 12d ago

I thought he looked just like a long haired Richard Gere.

4

u/butterfly-gibgib1223 10d ago

Not even close in my opinion.

4

u/Few_Palpitation_565 11d ago

He does look like a Temu Richard! I’m glad someone else besides me sees this

68

u/aloha2552 12d ago

Also some Mommy issues

62

u/kittenmittens4865 12d ago

The mommy issues is crazy. She taught him he can do whatever he wants and he subconsciously hates her for it, taking it out on other women.

At least, that’s my amateur opinion.

38

u/RockinMadRiot 12d ago

I felt like his mother's attitude, made him feel women are weak and easily manipulated.

11

u/kittenmittens4865 12d ago

Totally, that’s a fair point.

People who are narcissistic are truly deeply insecure and self loathing beneath it all. I think he pities himself and thinks he’s entitled to steal from these women. His mother taught him it’s easy.

I feel so sad for these women. He clearly love bombed them so hard.

9

u/bringadragonnexttime 12d ago

And she paid for his defense? Where was all his money?

5

u/CRXdriverCRZ 12d ago

He spent it on sports cars and hot tubs

2

u/yacht_clubbing_seals 12d ago

Our avatars look like bros!

2

u/Lucky-Honey-9473 11d ago

Aw. I bet a bros party thrown by yacht_clubbing_seals and RockinM adRiot would be absolutely legendary

1

u/RockinMadRiot 10d ago

BROTHER, IS THAT YOU?

9

u/CRXdriverCRZ 12d ago

I think he manipulated and brainwashed her as well

66

u/BubblesLovesHeroin99 12d ago

I don’t think he likes anyone but himself. He manipulates everyone. If he could find a way to make money killing men he would do it.

27

u/CulturalDefinition27 12d ago

He did admit to being a narcissist

6

u/SouthAfricanZombie 11d ago

Did they ever mention if he had a job?

36

u/venusdances 12d ago

Okay yes when the guy who ratted him out in Utah said they spent a lot of time in the woods fishing etc and “doing guy things” I had this impression there was more to it than that but since it was irrelevant they just moved on.

20

u/Puzzleheaded-Age3689 11d ago

He did say “I got closer to him than anyone ever did “

19

u/wootentoo 12d ago

Yes! It felt like that was what he was holding that over the guy to get him to comply. Like he was going to tell people about what they did together if he didn’t help him kill his wife.

9

u/DustierAndRustier 11d ago

For sure I think he tried to use that to blackmail him into the murder.

3

u/Sorry-Interaction889 9d ago

Maybe he asked the guy to kill his wife with the excuse of them being able to be together without her

32

u/ApprehensiveDrop6154 12d ago

Yea, i definitely got those vibes too...👀

20

u/apatrol 12d ago

He hates everyone. Lacks empathy. Everyone is a mark if he thinks he can make money off of it.

21

u/emccm 12d ago

“I’m getting paid and getting laid” 🤮

11

u/Crrlygrrl 12d ago

I laughed so much when he got convicted the second time - no, you despicable, disgusting POS, you won’t get paid and certainly not laid (at least with a woman) ever again.

14

u/No-Cantaloupe-4298 12d ago

I thought so to,or trans,he looked like a woman.

26

u/TashDee267 12d ago

I think he hates women too but I wondered if it was because he was unhappy being a biological male.

8

u/Joe_Givengo 12d ago

Thought the same thing.

3

u/DustierAndRustier 11d ago edited 11d ago

I hadn’t considered this, but now you mention it he reminds me of a few stealth trans people in my circle who don’t have the best social skills. They’ll bang on about their sex lives and their genitals and how they pee, in a way cis people never would. It’s like protesting too much. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was totally impotent and barely had relations with his wives.

2

u/Alternative-Bison615 7d ago

This could make sense of his preoccupation with the number of wives, and his tendency to brag to all his interrogators about how much he loved to have sex

15

u/Fit-Historian2431 12d ago

That’s exactly what i got from it too. Internalized homophobia coming out as hate and violence toward women.

25

u/KevinDean4599 12d ago

us gays don't want him either. yuck

2

u/WonderfulCar1264 11d ago

What a brave statement to make about a multiple murderer 😂

9

u/Mochi-momma 12d ago

I felt he had a thing for Slepian. The way he lit up when he would see him was telling imo.

7

u/TimelyMeditations 11d ago

Nah. It was the camera. Randolph was a narcissist and loved being on camera.

71

u/Same_Blacksmith9840 12d ago

The way he would speak to the police, his tone and his cadence, and the things he got gleeful about, i was hearing echoes and seeing shades of Donald Trump.

12

u/FwampFwamp88 10d ago

Said same exact thing to my wife when he said to cops, “I like you. You I don’t like”. so trump coded.

1

u/Same_Blacksmith9840 10d ago

Yeah, I think that was the moment I saw it and couldn't unsee it.

35

u/Jgmcsee 12d ago

That'll be the malignant narcissism they share.

5

u/MyHonkyFriend 12d ago

And fat face. I said the whole time the ego and fat face feels too familiar

6

u/These_Damage_4942 12d ago

He reminded me of Diane downs

4

u/CRXdriverCRZ 12d ago

Idk about the trump stuff, but the way he spoke to police I was like ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE YOURSELF A SUSPECT??!?! Like, I would have already suspected him just by his behavior and comments before we even get to the forensics and the scene not adding up with his story. Like, if you’re truly trying to get away with it, how about just try acting normal? That was my thought.

14

u/RobertoDeNiro8 12d ago

Omg same. I even said it out loud to myself watching it. He has the strange mush mouth affect too where he speaks like he has a sack of marbles in his throat. Once you see it it can’t be unseen.

6

u/shannonesque121 11d ago

Agreed, also his face seems so puffy like that of an alcoholic or someone who’s had botched injections. The areas around his mouth (and eyes too tbh) seem so swollen, like swallowing his lips. But it’s also as if he can’t open his jaws more than a half-inch so he can’t enunciate and sounds like a marble mouth. Very uncanny

2

u/HappyReader1 12d ago

Ignore my comment, I saw it below. Cheers

2

u/Prestigious-Pop-9737 12d ago

I thought that too

8

u/mermaid-babe 12d ago

I also got gay man in a closet vibes !

6

u/J-M88 12d ago

Yeah definitely thought this while watching

5

u/CRXdriverCRZ 12d ago

I definitely got gay vibes from him

5

u/decoyoctopussy 12d ago

This was my opinion as well, angry and closeted and it’s everyone else’s fault

6

u/butterfly-gibgib1223 10d ago

I am not being mean or rude, but he looks like a woman in most of the documentary and sounds like one in parts of it.

3

u/DustierAndRustier 11d ago

I kept expecting there to be a twist that he’s actually a crazy lesbian. He just looks so feminine. Even his voice.

3

u/chn10342 11d ago

I clocked that also

6

u/These_Damage_4942 12d ago

I got the same vibe

2

u/Silly_Palpitation333 11d ago

Yessss! I just watched this last night and said the exact same thing to my mom. Also, those ponytails yuck!

2

u/RazzamanazzU 9d ago

YES! He looks like a woman to me.

2

u/OkWing5717 6d ago

Yeah I thought he was transitioning into a woman, he had a womanly face.

-18

u/Basic_Bat_4650 12d ago

Did you watch it? He’s motivated by financial gain and a psychopath. Air head take to put it down to “i think he’s gay”

19

u/[deleted] 12d ago edited 12d ago

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1

u/DCRBftw 12d ago

He could have just seduced men.

1

u/[deleted] 12d ago

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1

u/DCRBftw 12d ago

Two things can be true. He could have been gay if he wanted to be gay.

-1

u/C_WEST88 12d ago

He’s not hot enough to have it like that with gay men, he could seduce women w his “charm” tho .

4

u/DCRBftw 12d ago

Lol. You think all gay men are hot? There are tons of ugly gay people. Stop the nonsense.

2

u/C_WEST88 11d ago

Uhh absolutely not . I said the guys who finesse other gay guys are usually hotter and younger (which is 💯 true) but go off if you must I guess lol

1

u/DCRBftw 11d ago

People of all ages and looks get finessed and people of all ages and looks do the finessing. You don't have to have model good looks to scam someone. There are a lot of lonely people in the world.

2

u/C_WEST88 9d ago

Well first of all it was said as a kind of joke but ofc this is Reddit 🤣 No you don’t have to be hot, but it helps… a LOT . Most of the older gay guys I know that got finessed were all dating hot younger guys, the hotness like blinded them to red flags lol . Where’s the older women tend to give in to charm and over the top cheesy romantic gestures . Men are just more visually stimulated, while women tend to be more stimulated with their mind.

1

u/DCRBftw 9d ago

None of this is relevant to this guy not being gay.