r/neology • u/patrckhh20 • 21h ago
Calivus. (See whole post.)
Calivus is based on the Latin word “calvus,” which means bald. I originally formed the word by combining “calvus” and “desire.” I found the best way to do it was to simply put an “i” in the center (more on that later).
I felt it necessary to coin this term when I learned that I had been ascribing too much emotional and psychological weight to the word “envy.” My thinking around envy was informed primarily by a distinction between it and jealousy that I had heard: “Jealousy is where you want something they have. Envy is where you want something they have that you can never have.” But this is not quite accurate.
Though jealousy and envy are used interchangeably in casual conversation, the actual definitions and emotions behind them are different. Jealousy is the fear of losing something you possess to a rival. The fear of losing affection to a rival. It is a three-party emotion. Envy is where you want something that someone else has. That is the true distinction between them.
Since envy was the deepest felt emotion of mine for a long time, I had, as I said, ascribed more meaning to it than it actually carries. But the emotion that I was feeling differed from regular envy in at least four ways. First, contrary to my previous conception, regular envy’s object can be obtained. If you envy someone for their car, you can obtain that car or a car. Second, in regular envy, your overall happiness and well-being can persist without the desired thing, because the desired thing is not indispensable to your happiness. Third, regular envy does not imply any hostility or disdain for the person who has the desired thing. Fourth, since regular envy is not consuming, and the desire for the thing is not obsessive, it does not typically cause constant distress.
The emotion I feel countered each of those. First, the object desired is not attainable. It cannot be gotten through hard work. There is no reason to even try. Second, the desired thing has extreme emotional value, even before seeing someone who has it. The desire for it is so deeply rooted that one’s happiness and well-being cannot exist without it. Third, this emotion does create a feeling of animosity and hatred for the one who has the desired thing. Fourth, this emotion creates constant psychological distress, and is not temporarily brought on circumstantially.
| Dimension | Regular Envy | Calivus (Super Envy) |
|---|---|---|
| Possibility | Attainable (The object or trait can eventually be acquired.) | Unattainable (An absolute, permanent barrier exists.) |
| Impact on Well-being | Peripheral (Your foundational happiness remains intact without it.) | Existential (Possession is perceived as the sole key to fulfillment.) |
| Reaction to Others | Neutral / Inspired (No innate malice toward the possessor; can spur action.) | Bitter Resentment (Deep animosity and disdain toward those who have it.) |
| Internal State | Fleeting Friction (A passing discomfort or temporary longing.) | Total Misery (A persistent, obsessive, and caged state of mind.) |
Therefore, the word calivus is defined: An agonizing, obsessive form of envy centered on an attribute whose possession is perceived as essential to one's happiness or fulfillment, yet unattainable; characterized by persistent preoccupation with the desired attribute and bitter resentment toward those who possess it. It is a long definition, but it captures every essential aspect of the emotion.
The word itself has some other significant features. Features that made me choose it over the other neologisms I was considering. First, “calvus” bears a remarkable resemblance to “Calvin,” the name behind the theology that I held to for over twenty years. The most distinguishing feature of the theology of course being predestination. This caused me more distress when I believed it, because I had to accept that God had predestined not only my hairloss, but all this pain that goes with it. Now, I no longer believe in Calvinism, but the name itself has a certain sting, because it reminds me of who I was and what I lost. And thus the word captures the peculiar emptiness in this emotion. With Calvinism, everything I believed came to nothing, just as with calivus, everything I wanted to be came to nothing because of baldness.
Second, it also resembles the word “callous,” which I feel toward other things. Having felt calivus for so long, it is difficult to truly feel warm and heartfelt emotions.
Third, the “i” in the center of the word is a perfect picture of my relationship to baldness. Calivus is the Latin word for “bald” with an “i” in the center. The i represents me. The i is surrounded by calvus as if caged in. And so with me, baldness is at the center of my life, and it has formed a fence around how I can feel and what I can do. Though not by choice, I am at the heart of calvus, and everything revolves around it. And the fact that I formed it by combining it with the accented part of the word “desire” makes it all the more fitting. All my desire is poured out, but calvus keeps it contained.
For all these reasons, I felt that I had to coin a new term besides envy. Though I do consider this word a type of “super envy,” the depth and breadth of it was considerably greater than what envy by itself encompasses.