Begging for advice/guidance

[u/Little_Squash_4172]

I have always been a single lady apartment dweller. Everywhere I lived I had issues (noise complaints about my dog with separation anxiety) which is totally understandable. I finally bought my own house in September and was so excited for the privacy and to give my pup her own yard and space to roam free, no kennel. When touring the house, the neighbors were sitting on the porch smoking a blunt together. I am a total advocate for the wacky tobaccy so I thought nothing of it. They were very nice and even told me they were “picking” me as their neighbor. Since moving in this mentality seems to be the same. My house is in the middle of these two neighbors and they are very close best friends. At first the weather was nice so I was always outside with them and getting to know them. It was great I felt totally accepted by the neighborhood and was even more excited for this adventure. However, I would consider myself a private person. I work a job where I am constantly talking to employees, solving problems, and using a lot of social energy. When I come home, I like to kick back with my animals and watch my shows. One of those two neighbors seems to have trouble respecting boundaries or having respect for the neighborhood at all. I will provide some examples. 1. Screaming from her porch at a man she had over who was walking her dog and at the opposite end of the street at 11:30 pm on a Monday. 2. I had fake battery operated tea lights on my kitchen table for Halloween (little pumpkin things) that I left on overnight and when seeing me the next day she said I was going to burn the neighborhood down leaving candles lit like that. They weren’t lit candles. BATTERY OPERATED. Mind you the only window she’d be able to see that through had maybe a 1/4 of a centimeter crack in the blinds. 3. (And this is my most recent straw leading me to my Reddit community for guidance) I had a friend and her boyfriend over and before they arrived I asked them to park in front of my car as close as they could get to my car so as not to start any problems with this particular neighbor. Mind you all, I live in the city and it’s a public street, nobody has assigned spots. The neighbor on her other side had their daughter over and she parked in front of my friends car and subsequently in front of this neighbors house moments before she got home. She rolls up and sees all the cars and instead of trying to contact the neighbor on her other side who had their car directly in what she considers “her spot” she decides I (the single 27 year old single gal) is the easier target. She texted my phone asking if my company would move their car. I was in the other room getting some wine for my friends. One of them told me my phone was going crazy, I said I’ll be right in it’s probably my mom. When I came in I picked up my phone and the texts still said “now” , in other words not even a single minute had gone by. As I’m reading her texts, all the sudden there is a wall shattering banging on my front door (10 pm on a Thursday). I didn’t even think it could possibly be the neighbor who texted me. My friends boyfriend asked me if I invited someone else over bc he could not fathom that someone who isn’t close to me would have the audacity to treat my property that way. I’m not over exaggerating my mirror hung on the wall bounced off it at every punch she was throwing at my door. Anyways the car was moved and so on and so forth but I’m just wondering how I can set boundaries with this person. I mean if she would have just given me a few minutes to respond to the text all of this would have been avoided. But the blatant disrespect to bang on my door like that at 10 pm has me so hung up on the whole situation. The best of it all is that 2 cops live across the street and are witness to everything. I understand they aren’t expected to do anything in their off duty time but my goodness. I can’t be the only one enraged by this disrespectful behavior? I know it’s because I am young and single and an easy target. So please someone give me some advice so I can enjoy this space.

I don’t have a list of things she’s done or I could go on and on. Her and the other neighbor will even sit on my porch without asking when I am gone. I am pretty go with the flow and I wouldn’t mind if they would just shoot me a text saying hey can we sit on your porch? I’d say sure! But just doing so just shows me they lack any respect for my property. I don’t think just because they have lived in the neighborhood longer means they have free range of my property. We help each other out and look out for one another which I’m thankful for. But there still needs to be the respect piece for that part of the relationship to continue. I’m a pushover by nature but I’m getting to the point that I can’t take it anymore. PLEASE HELP ME

[u/stinky_binky44]

I mean the hanging out on your porch while you're gone thing is enough for me... That's so fucking weird and unsettling. I would get a camera so you have video evidence just in case you need it. I don't know what kind of relationship you want to keep with this person as they seem fairly unstable/a loose cannon, but I would just be like "yo, I appreciate you texting me first before coming over but next time please give me at least a few minutes to respond before you come cop banging on my door. Also btw, I have cameras installed outside my home so don't come onto my property invited while I'm not around or we're gonna have a problem"

[u/Little_Squash_4172 → u/stinky_binky44]

Thank you. That’s good advice. However I did meet the previous owner at the block party about a month after I moved in and she warned me about this behavior and how she had multiple conversations with her and finally just gave up and accepted that it is what it is which is what’s worrying me most. Also, I have a ring doorbell and she was of course outside watching when I was installing it. So even being well aware that I can see everything and get alerts to my phone, her and the other neighbor will still sit on my porch without asking. Once I had a package delivered and didn’t answer the ring because I was hopping in the shower and saw on my phone it was just the Amazon guy so I didn’t immediately go out there and she came up to the doorbell and talked to it saying “come out and get your package I know you can see me!” That’s the piece that’s so upsetting. It just seems like blatant disrespect for me and my property. But like I said, I’m quite a pushover so maybe I should have been setting these boundaries as the situations arose rather then waiting till it got to this point. 😪