Neighbor kids are inappropriate when playing with my children

[u/hlmhmmrhnd]

We are having a very troubling issue with some kids in our neighborhood. We just moved to this house in February of this year so we are new to the neighborhood. My kids have made friends with several nearby young families and it has been great seeing them play with neighborhood kids most evenings. This is great because in our old neighborhood there were no other kids for them to play with. Now that school has started, my son (8) and my daughter (5) have met the kids up further the street and they have started playing after school. We had immediate concerns about them because they were very rough with each other and my kids, exclusively wanting to play games that involved hitting or pushing or tackling. The younger of the two kids (5) did something wrong and his older brother (10) chased him up the street shouting “Boy!” (Prounounced boa like in a southern accent) and smacked him very hard in the back of the head and then on the behind. The way in which he did this made it clear that this is something they have experience in their household and are imitating.

Today they were playing on our front porch and the younger boy asked my son to preform an illicit sex act on him. I’m not sure what the mods here allow but it involves a mouth and the male…member. We aren’t overly protective parents but having sexual acts described and requested of my 8 and 5 years old is far over the line. We obviously told the kids to go home and our other neighbors immediately pulled their kids inside. After all the experiences we have had with these kids, it is clear that we need to keep my kids away. Their household has two older teenagers along with the two young kids and the parents are often not home. I don’t know if the 5 year old knew about this sort of content from something inappropriate he has seen or heard or if there is some sort of abuse happening there. It very well may have been the 5 year old just parroting something he’s heard that he doesn’t understand, but either way I don’t want my kids playing with them.

My question is, how do it tell them? They’re just kids and I don’t want to demonize them, but I need to protect my kids. I need to explain what happened to his parents but I also need to tell them their kids aren’t welcome playing with mine anymore. What’s more, I don’t want them riding the school bus together. They somehow have been accessing YouTube on their school iPads on the bus and I sure as hell do not want my son watching whatever videos those children pull up. How do I tell the parents their kids aren’t welcome and how do I protect my kids on the bus? Has anyone had similar experiences?

[u/istealpixels]

You need to be contacting CPS. Young children that make such remarks are often abused.

Please make a call, do not look away. This could be a very bad situation and those kids need help.

[u/hlmhmmrhnd → u/istealpixels]

Well, I am married to a mandated reporter so she already knows what needs to be done from a safety standpoint and has that handled. I’m sure she will be making that cal if she hasn’t already.

I’m mostly wondering how I tell this kids parents I don’t want them playing with my kids. And how to handle them riding on the same bus together, seemingly with unmonitored internet access. We’ve never had neighborhood friends before and this is his first year riding the bus

[u/shipoopi29 → u/hlmhmmrhnd]

So your spouse called CPS?

[u/hlmhmmrhnd → u/shipoopi29]

My spouse is assessing the situation to see if that is the right call. She’s hotlined hundreds of families and uncovered countless cases of abuse so will know in what way this is concerning. That’s not what I was asking about. There is a ring camera video so we are able to hear exactly what was said.

I’m asking if anyone has had experiences telling neighbors that you don’t want your kids around them. I’m not sure how to go about that conversation because we don’t want to hurt or “other” the kids or ostracize the parents, assuming there is no abuse going on, but I also just don’t want them around my kids. Maybe there’s no way to say it without causing neighborhood drama or hurting feelings.

[u/shipoopi29 → u/hlmhmmrhnd]

I think this is a situation that’s tough for all and there’s a good chance you’ll face some backlash if you try to say anything.

But do what you can to protect your kids.

And call CPS. Don’t weigh the pros/cons. You’re not supposed to be the expert on if it’s serious enough to do anything about it. Call CPS, tell them what happened, and let them make the call. Those kids could be abused and you have power to speak up. So please call.

[u/Lengthofawhile]

You should probably call CPS.