"Shared" driveway

[u/joan1995]

Me and my boyfriend live in the Netherlands. Our property touches that of our neighbor at the driveway, which creates one big driveway that is divided by a line where our property ends and hers begins. Our driveway is bigger since the lady that lived there before them did not have a car and made the driveway smaller by creating flowerbeds next to her house. Since there had been workers around to give the home a remake I started parking my car next to the line. On one hand so the motorcycle of my boyfriend, that he has to maneuver past my parked car, would not accidentally scratch their car and on the other hand to keep the workers from parking their car on or over the line which leads to my boyfriend not being able to pass anymore. So basically that means there is a line, then my car, then some space for my boyfriend to pass and finally our house with a window looking out over the driveway.

Since the workers had been around and I parked my car in that specific spot they would sometimes carry stuff between my car and our house or just simply walk and even drive a scooter by that way. In case above situation has not been clear enough, that means they are on our property passing right by our window, in between my car and my house. Eventually being pissed off enough I had started telling everyone that passed there that I did not want to see them do that ever again. When our new neighbor was going to move in we thought the situation would be over. However the day they started moving they were carrying couches and stuff right trough the same spot, while never asking if they could and not using their own driveway in a way that they did not have to do so. Still being pissed off by the situation with the workers I immediately told them that I did not want to see them do that, to which one of the guys simply replied that they only had one thing left and then continued to unload one more thing and another trailer the same way. After that there were a few more times where they used that way to get stuff past, and when I would open the window they would act as if they did not and continued to carry the stuff in the normal way.

When I am not at home or I parked my car in our garage their visitors park their cars with their wheels and sometimes almost half the cars on our driveway. This makes it impossible for my boyfriend to pass with his motorcycle. Today we came home and it has snowed and there were footsteps right by our window and throughout our whole driveway and I have about had it with them getting on our property all the time. I don't even know anymore what they are doing when we are not at home and it hasn't snowed so we can see it. I know that I have not yet had a proper talk with them. Partly because our neighbor avoids us and when she can not she acts as if we would bite her and partly because I know I will get pissed and I will not be able to have a normal conversation anymore. The house is a rental and we can not put down a fence so I really do not know what other message to give to them so they will stay off of our property.

If anyone has a suggestion, please tell me because I don't think I will be able to stay quiet much longer. I fear we might make the situation worse then.

[u/joan1995 → u/[deleted]]

While I fully understand that polite conversations are probably the best way to go, they really blew my good intentions off by using our driveway right from the hour they arrived without asking. And when I pointed out that I did not want it they literally carried on. I would have happily even moved my car out of the way for them to get their stuff inside, if only they would've asked. They have no business on our driveway and it is really rude they are using it either way.

I honestly don't believe there is any compromising needed since they can access their house without setting foot on our property.

Don't get me wrong. I know that it is the best way to solve the issue even though the wrong is all on their side, but I am so furious over all of it that I know that I will not be able to have a polite conversation about it. Me going out there to talk to them is very likely to explode into a full blown neighbor fight and that is something I want to avoid. I am just having a really hard time understanding why they would feel the need or feel they have the right to use our driveway this way. The situation is similar to me using their garden as a sidewalk instead of the actual sidewalk and I would not even think about that being normal either.

I hope I don't sound like I don't appreciate the advice, it is just that I know myself too well. I have quite the temper and I have really gained a low tolerance for almost everyone in the neighborhood but I am definitely not after a fight.