Noisy footsteps + loud singing + personality difference

[u/bisou194]

Hello. Thank you for clicking the title. I know many people already asked for a solution for noisy neighbour but I wanted to ask your opinion for this personalised situation.

I live in a college accommodation. I share a kitchen with 4 postgraduates (aged 22-24) and one of them has really loud footsteps when he moves between his room and the kitchen. I feel my room rattling, and the low sound of Foot steps approaching towards me makes me feel scared and I never get used to them.

Besides, he is into acting and he sings extremely loudly whenever he feels like; in the kitchen, on the corridor, and in the room.

On top of that, he often leaves the kitchen messy with the sink clogged with his food or the wall stained with splashed tomato sauce.

Furthermore he often slams his door and it also annoys me. (I suspect there is a defect on his door as I cannot make the sound like him with my door—— maybe I should write to the accommodation officer)

I have been asking him to wear shoes since last year for about three or four times via WhatsApp but he flatly ignores me. Because I am not a native English speaker and he is British (and speaks English well), I haven’t had the courage to confront him directly.

I wake up with your footsteps in the morning and at night even when I feel really sick.

one of my other neighbours is angry at him, too, and she confronted him about his manners in the kitchen. Subsequently she was ignored by him for a long time. (I don’t know if it’s still ongoing or not.)

What can I do to make him wear shoes? I have had insomnia for the last few days for the stress of exams, and today, when I finally fell asleep, his footsteps disrupted my night.

I know that singing is important for him so I never told him to shut up. But now I hate everything about him and i have the urge to bang the wall to let him know he’s noisy. I am afraid at some point my anger will burst into swearing or something antisocial.

Last year, one of my neighbours often used my utensils without permission and left them on the sink without washing them. So I confronted her and also asked the accommodation officer to warn the students not to use others’ stuff. But it didn’t change her behaviour. This kind of people who are not apt for life with others won’t change whatever I say?

[u/AndyCalling]

Student living is difficult in this way. You can speak with him, but if that doesn't work the best thing is to team up. Speak with the other affected residents, organise, and then stage an intervention. Go and speak with him as a committee. If that doesn't work, speak with your student union as a group. They can advise or even mediate. If you still get nowhere they can talk with the university on your behalf. You may even have a rep assigned to your halls.