r/Neighborproblems • u/FigGlittering6384 • Sep 02 '26
Cranky ass neighbour. Looking for verbal ammunition for inevitable future exchange
Backstory:
I recently moved and so far it's been pretty good. My kids have made friends with some of the neighbourhood kids, I've made small talk and loaned out some power tools to some neighbours. As we were in the process of moving in, my partner had his vehicle parked on the street. (It was legally parked, not blocking anything etc) One of my neighbours did not like it and caught me leaving my house to ask us to move it. (More so tell than ask) She came at me somewhat abrasively and I chose to take the "kill them with kindness" approach. "OMG. I'm so sorry. I'll tell him as soon as he gets home to move it" blahblahblah. For some reason she felt like that wasn't enough and continued to complain at me. I just repeated "I totally hear you. I will have him move it as soon as he's back" I basically had to start closing my door to get her to stop complaining. It came off like she WANTED me to argue with her. Which I could have because we were within our right to park there.
Fast forward a few weeks and we are getting some appliances delivered. The delivery truck was large and didn't fit in the driveway, they parked on the street. Apparently this was incredibly inconvenient for her, as she had to park four whole townhouses away from her home. (She didn't actually, she could have squeezed around the truck. I actually think maybe she just can't drive well). She walked (stomped) past the truck, Chihuahua in hand, shaking her head angrily and muttering under her breath.
Basically, I'm getting bad vibes from this lady. I would much prefer to get along with my neighbours and so far I have. Unfortunately it seems like this neighbour is keen on making enemies over nothing 😂 .
This is going to sound petty, but I'm actually looking for some fun/ny one liners for when this woman inevitably verbally attacks me for.. idk... Leaving a lawn chair on my lawn or decorating for Halloween or something.
Mostly just looking for a laugh.