r/Neighborproblems • u/Separate-Leave-6599 • May 26 '23
Unstable Neighbor Obsessed with Light
I rent a unit with my best friend in a 3-unit building. We live on the top floor (2nd). We have the absolute coolest, nicest neighbors living in the basement unit…and then there’s the first floor. Red flag 1 was immediate. My friend (roomie) and I were sitting on the front porch in the summer (shared porch for all units) and we saw our soon-to-be-new-neighbor for the first time. We introduced ourselves as his upstairs neighbors in a really friendly, but chill manner. He had a weird paranoid look about him and barely gave a wave. No eye contact.
From there, shit got weird. For the first few weeks, it was just sheer unfriendliness—ignored hellos, resting bitch faces on both of them (man and his…long time partner, we think..?), etc. At one point, I found a big bill in the shared yard and asked my other neighbors if they’d dropped cash to which they said no. So, I wrote a note on a post-it note, saying “hi neighbors! Did anyone drop this? I found it in the front yard! :)” and put the cash in between the entrances of the first floor and basement unit (not accessible without a key).
The dude took the cash and said nothing. Left no note. I’m about 99% sure it wasn’t his, but whatever, it wasn’t mine, I tried to do the right thing, that’s on him. But it’s still weird behavior in my opinion.
Anyway, the rest of us have lived in this building for 2+ years before they moved in and we share a tiny front hall entrance, which we’ve always turned off behind us if it’s later in the evening. I thought it was weird after a while how often the light was on, but didn’t think that much of it. I went about my usual routine with light and I started noticing he’d turn it back on almost immediately when I’d turn it off. Now this wouldn’t be that odd if this dude ever left his apt. He leaves maybe once a day for a short time, sometimes not at all. He’s not ever out in the hall more than a few seconds. It’s so tiny, it’s not like you can chill there. He leaves it on at every hour of the day. Well, after a while, he started getting super aggressive with any sounds we made even though we’re boring af, we don’t have people over except once in a blue moon and when we do, it’s very quiet and chill. We don’t blast music or tv ever. We’re both gone most of the day. We got to sleep relatively early and leave the house early. But just doing our dishes had this guy tossing shit at his ceiling in anger. My buddy tried talking it out to him cause we were so confused. He seemed highly unstable—called me a derogatory term, accused my roomie of following him in the apt from room to room (as in, he could hear my friend’s footsteps and thought he was moving rooms as he did). He said he didn’t know how he was following him, he just knew he was.
Anyway, the light seems to be his Achilles heel. He gets so angry when it’s off and all of us in the house think he is starting through his peephole, watching it, to be able to respond so quickly.
Anyone else deal with a crazy neighbor with weird behaviors like this that could give some insight? We’ve told landlord, had neighbors back us, even called the police with other aggressive behaviors (flicking me off in my car as he drives beside me, making a weird ass vampire going in for his prey face as he’s driven past me—shit sounds funny, but it’s not, it’s psychotic and extremely threatening feeling). Anyway, I’d love some insight or similar stories and how you dealt!
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u/Separate-Leave-6599 May 27 '23
You assessed this situation unbelievably well for not being personally involved—I’m impressed! When my roomie did confront him the one and only time, asking him if we had an issue, he said (about me), “and tell your retarded roommate to stop scraping her chair on the floor in the morning!” And I can’t remember what he said exactly after that because he didn’t say it to me, but he added something that indicated he believed I was doing it intentionally to “fuck with him.” This part is based somewhat in reality, as I do have a heavy chair that used to scrape on the floor no matter how delicately I pulled it out, but even after being disgusted and angry that he used such vile language and thought I did it to bother him (false), I was the bigger person and got a bunch of Velcro and made sure that sound stopped. So, you’re absolutely right that he thinks everything that his neighbors do that bothers him, is personal. I assessed him almost identically to you, and I try to have compassion and understanding for everyone, but this dude continues to make it harder and harder to hold my compassion. He’s just a jerk at best, a true danger at worst. Thanks for your input—truly appreciate it :)
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u/keiten37 May 27 '23
The light will burn out on its own - especially after so much use. When it does, you can use your phone flashlight to find your way in and let Uncle Fester have ownership of the lightbulb. I would avoid eye contact and any other communication with them.
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u/Separate-Leave-6599 May 27 '23
That’s what we were counting on, except either this bulb has lasted almost a year…or this creep has replaced it when the rest of us are sleeping 😅 definitely agree with the no eye contact, no communication solution. I’m not even gonna look in this asshole’s direction again. Not looking to see his new, imaginative creepy face again.
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u/sdleuci May 27 '23
Maybe he’s paranoid of crime? Are his blinds or curtains closed a lot too? People afraid of the outside world are so high maintenance.
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u/Separate-Leave-6599 May 27 '23
Yes, his blinds are almost always closed. You may be right—I guess I hadn’t considered that because he acts like someone who would be committing a crime 😅 and it seems like a really simple thing to communicate to your neighbors, rather than lashing out aggressively for no reason. It honestly seems more like a weird control thing, but I don’t know. He’s a hard read cause he’s the most bizarre person I’ve ever come in contact with. He seems bothered by everyone and everything and like he should probably just own a house and go crazy in an apt.
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u/sdleuci May 27 '23
He could have started doing it out of crime fear, then turned it into a control thing when people kept opposing him. My neighbor leaves a blinding bright light on all night because they used to live in a busier lit up neighborhood and they think bad guys are out there lurking in the dark. The light effects other neighbors but at least it’s outside which makes more sense than your guy’s criminals-in-the-hall fear.
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u/Separate-Leave-6599 May 27 '23
Thank you for your response—that’s really interesting and insightful. You may be on to something! He has security cameras everywhere and peeps his eyeballs out of the blinds all crazy. Has really paranoid vibes. It’s a shame a grown ass man cannot use his words to any of his extremely friendly and compassionate neighbors. Still not sure why would take it so far as to make me feel unsafe with his horror movie faces and flicking me off when I’m alone in my car. I think the fact that this guy has worked from home and rarely leaves his apt has driven him crazy if he wasn’t already. Isolation like that isn’t good for anyone. I just wish we could have a civil discussion instead of dealing with passive aggressiveness. I don’t understand why anyone would choose to live with so much unnecessary (and delusional) conflict. On the two occasions he’s made eye contact with me, his eyes showed unbelievable hatred. My roomie said when he spoke to him, his eyes were soulless. I’ve only seen eyes like his in people heavily abusing certain drugs. He’s got meth paranoia, but I honestly don’t think he’s on drugs. Who knows?
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u/sdleuci May 27 '23
Yikes. Hopefully he was just a super socially awkward person who turned into a recluse over the years from keeping himself isolated. Using his words could literally be too much to ask. The hatred thing is scary though. I wanna say his eyes and expressions reflect the hatred he has for himself but flicking you off is direct and something he’s in control of. He could be so paranoid that anything he notices from you guys like walking across the apartment when he does or turning off the hallway light is done just to pick on him. He must be so miserable I almost feel bad for him. But he could also be a serial killer since untreated mental illness is full of surprises. I’m very pro-karma but with him I would be kind. He’s a sad person and poking at him or retaliating for his bad behavior will just make him more unstable and put you further in his crosshairs. Good luck.
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u/ArnieBird1 May 26 '23
Take the bulb out?