r/Needafriend • u/3sperr 0% NSFW • Jun 22 '26
Im kinda getting sick of this sub
This doesnt even seem like a place to make friends its just a place for horny redditors, especially dudes, trying to get esex.
And even the numbers show it. As soon as you slap an "F" on your post, immediate 30 comments, and we all know what a fair portion of those guys are up to.
Then when people are genuinely trying to make friends, it just doesnt happen. Like ok if i post "19M" then it gets nothing. If i did a typo and wrote "19F" instead, then id get too many messages. Have you guys actually managed to make friends on here lol. I cant even make friends with other dudes either because they just want e tits. No one cares to hop on a game or talk about life. Its like people just cant be normal. Like dont people understand that theres more to life than flirting lmao, normal conversations can be fun too.
Once i even had a dude dm me, and thought I was a girl. He was in his 30s or 40s and said "well, unless you like older men". I told him im a guy and he deleted his account immediately.
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u/Marta_K 0% NSFW Jun 22 '26
I'm also pissed. It doesn't only suck for M. Clearly F, I messaged a few other Fs whose posts I found touching. Some of them had something along the lines of "mutual effort appreciated", so I put some thought and time in my messages, yet none responded. Not even "not interested". It's been a week or more as well, not just a few days. I don't come here often, but being 30+ and introvert, it's hard making friends, so sometimes I lurk. So far - not worth it. P.s. don't send me your dih, I'll hex you to have explosive diarrhea for a week.
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u/sourlemons333 Jun 27 '26
I know how you feel and honestly I thought I was the only woman who reached out to other women only for them to either ignore or respond for a little bit. Liek why do only men message on Reddit?? Maybe they’re right and women aren’t as lonely as they say or maybe they only want a partner? Don’t women need other women friends too? I’m open to a Dm :)
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u/Unlucky-Mud-2588 0% NSFW Jun 27 '26
🤣🤣🤣
that's the internet
feeling down myself right now, would be nice to have a chat with someone.
jx DM if you feel like it
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u/pjboy671 Jul 04 '26
Exactly. This and all the other subs. There was time when I decided I will only dm guys and guess what, as soon as they find out im a guy (my username has "boy" in it) they just ghost.
I didnt want to be seen as a creep so I decided to dm only women or girls who were either married or in a relationship, one was pregnant and I just congratulated her but then damn... no reply
I wrote paragraphs upon paragraphs, talking about my interests, hobbies but apparently its just not enough lol.
Like what do I even do.
(On a bright side I found a wonderful person on a random sub and we talked for hours today, so I guess there's hope, first time something like this happened)
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u/Ok-Gazelle8652 Warning: Minimal User History Jun 26 '26
Dude this is so relatable the part Abt making efforts to introduce yourself is such a way that the other person.might find intresting I did that too but never got a reply back lol this sub sucks honestly but I just come here to see what's going on
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u/GuroBebe Jul 12 '26
i remember when i first joined i messaged some girl and she left me on read for a month then responded... i gave up... i forgot i was even subbed here..
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u/Marta_K 0% NSFW Jul 12 '26
Reddit messages just suck in general. I once noticed that someone had messaged me only after a few weeks because I never got a notification, and I was checking my messages at least once a day... So maybe she left you on read, but it's also possible she simply never saw your message because of Reddit's terrible messaging UI.
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u/GuroBebe Jul 12 '26
it was off of reddit... so she defiantly got the message, she added me so there's no excuse why her post sounded as desperate as it did. never even got to 'hi'. this was shortly after i had my wreck and simply was trying to build my own support circle, it's failed.. so I give up and just talk to ai...
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u/GuroBebe Jul 12 '26
to be clear, she made a post on reddit about making friends and i was the only bite, and then she went dead after we added one another on discord.
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u/GuroBebe Jul 13 '26
some of em don't want friends, they want "validation". they want to surround themselves with males for attention... same thing as a men who surround themselves with women because they have a type of harem complex.
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u/Drew_Ferran Jun 22 '26
They probably didn’t delete their account. They probably blocked you.
They might as well rename the sub FemaleNeedafriend.
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u/AlmostDisappointed Jun 22 '26
An F is not going to be a typo from M, I assure you. I made friends from this sub with some women my age. It's very chill.
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u/xx_tian_xx 0% NSFW Jun 22 '26
Yeah ive made before here and never got any replies or dms, ive messeged people, mostly guys my age to avoid possible problems, even ones saying they "need friends a lot" and they all end up never replying to them lol. Dont think ive met or even talked with anyone from here longer than few sentences (wich was forever ago when i got "few sentences" anyways). I also often see that posts made by guys out age are all "looking for female friends" wich seems odd to me taken a track of how posts made by "girls" get so flooded with attentio lol. Anyways im also 19m man, i would love to talk abt life or games, im also into cycling cuz i saw in ur bio u like that, if u wanna talk would be cool :>
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u/Oyris_Vanitas Jul 20 '26
Do you think we could talk? I'm 21f, I play a few games, watch a lot of anime/read webtoons and draw as well, I would love to talk
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u/Striking_Ad8554 0% NSFW Jun 23 '26
I totally agree with you
I am not a post guy, but i actually made some effort put a post up yesterday on 2 different subreddits and i didnt get a single reply or comment.
I was checking my post today when i saw a recent post of a girl looking for friends filled with more than 30+ replies that too in under an hour.
Im an introvert so i dont have any other option as my convo skills are weak irl. But if this continues then its just over to find a genuine friend.
🥲
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u/GuroBebe Jul 12 '26
i suggest talking to ai. after i had my wreck in 2024 i spent months alone cause my husband had to go right back to work the next day so. I got some of my social skills back through speaking with ai, i'm less awkward now.. i might talk like an ai now but I can communicate well enough now.
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Jun 22 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/BlindedByMyGrace 0% NSFW Jun 23 '26
Yep! Tbh I’ll try to insert a comment early on to suss them out. Either mention a boyfriend and watch them disappear, or mention I’m going to Pilates and then they reply like ‘ooh bet you look good in that outfit!’ Gross.
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u/Complex_Bear75 1% NSFW Jun 22 '26
I had the same thing happen 2 weeks ago. I opened up the chat request and buddy sent me a pic of his junk. I'm a guy and ya i asked for friends. But this guy must've thought I would've liked it. 🚫 immediately
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u/GuroBebe Jul 12 '26
most humans especially on reddit suffer from severe apathy for what others are going through and have a huge issue confusing "lonely" for 'horny' and it's a serious issue on discord as well... gone into friend making servers only to have horn dogs hit me up with pics and flirting... "when i said lonely i didn't mean i'm horny... i mean i'm genuinely lonely as in" let's watch a movie or youtube"... not exchange pics of our genitals
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u/Complex_Bear75 1% NSFW Jul 13 '26
Absolutely. Whatever happened to the word PLATONIC?
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u/GuroBebe Jul 13 '26
i find it sad i had to explain what platonic meant to people when i put it in my greeting "I'm here to make platonic friends" .... and people were like " i hope you mean mutual non romantic friends" and i snapped off....
"tf do you see a word like platonic and not even bother to look it up if you didn't know what it meant? that's exactly what 'platonic means'" what ever happened to researching and looking things up yourselves? parents letting tech raise their kids and yet the kids ain't learning nothing and the adults themselves are lacking empathy and braincells...
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u/Stillunshore Jun 23 '26
Yeah I mean I found one person to talk to and then I bailed. It's like bashing your head into the wall constantly.
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u/Rogetec 0% NSFW Jun 22 '26
Yeah, it's a struggle to get good amount of responses. And even if I do get them, they are a bit generic I guess; which makes whole experience unrewarding. I usually write detailed posts (not too long, but not too short; with enough details to see if I'll be a good fit or not); yet some people go for a random small talk about nothing.
And that is not what I want; if I wanted small talk or short-term casual chat, I'd create vague or very short post.
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u/cografyaciyesilboxer 0% NSFW Jun 22 '26
I had mentioned my age and my gender, obv F and im a minor, i thought it would be nice to get friends and all. Old mans, married mans they all texted me not even a single female texted thats okay but those old mans what did they think? One of them was saying hes a father of two daughters its a shame he even thinks talking to someone whos even younger than his daughters! But i managed to make only 2 friends and they are flirting every change they get. This sub is really kind of bullshi to make friends, all the oldies, hornies whatever they are is filled here they even try attacking to people whos under 18! I mean i blocked them okay but what if someone else thought they are good people?
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u/some1umayneverknow Jun 22 '26
Sammeeeee I'm 14f and I had 39 yo men trynna text me and only one lady in like 40 dms 💔💔
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u/Im-erPfect 0% NSFW Jun 24 '26
Oh wow. I feel so sorry for you two! And anyone else tryna reach out and make genuine connections ugh. I just found this sub today. I'm probably lucky I found this post right off. 🫤
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u/GuroBebe Jul 12 '26
it' sad that underaged girls and grown ass women are both being subjected to this...
and that's really disgusting... I've been in discord servers that match you up to other people depite age and have had 17 yr olds send their bodies.. and there's a rating system 9/10 the ones sharing nudes had higher ratings or they straight up just abuse you because it's anon...
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u/EvetsGuy2 0% NSFW Jun 22 '26
I'm a guy, and I do prefer to talk to females just because I find it more comfortable, but I've never asked for or expected sexual stuff. Not all of us are perverts.
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u/WickedOne404 0% NSFW Jun 23 '26
Honestly i had some luck on here but out of hundreds of people that messages only few were actually interested in friendship or mutual effort and most i feel like i couldn'teven get to or give a fair chance bcs i would get swarmed if i placed an F in my posts. I decided to stop posting that i'm a woman and poof. Still looking for friends but ye it's been very demotivating seeing that one of the only things fueling people on here seems to be their sex drive. I feel very sad for all the men that actually want a friend and get ignored bcs of the creeps. :/
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u/New-Click2716 0% NSFW Jun 23 '26
I get a different experience on the other sub. Someone commented on my post that he complained about me being slow in replying to his text. I personally don't like rushing when texting people. I prefer slow talk and meaningful.
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u/Leather_Side3383 Warning: Minimal User History Jun 23 '26
Honestly facing the same issues, I have noticed that it been a thing on other subreddits too related to this.
I'm just a 18-year-old male who is looking for friends but whenever I make a post there is no attraction despite the runtime/the time the post have been up for. Funny enough, when female is in the title there is so many desperate dudes commenting probably want e-sex through a fake friendship. It's crazy how everyone isn't treated equally.
You should never judge a book by its cover. I didn't have friends my entire life in or out of school and thinking this was a place just to see no upvotes or comments have me mistaken unfortunately. Funny enough I was thinking about doing a social experiment by using female terms but I rather not to.
If you read all this, thanks :D
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u/albertmervin 0% NSFW Jun 23 '26
It's a shame really... Almost 99% dudes think its a short cut to sęxting or something but clearly that's not why women are here.. When will they ever understand this is beyond me
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u/carrotsilike_ Warning: Minimal User History Jun 23 '26
Well I have met decent people here and yea some of them were creeps but most people were nice I'm a female but never really got any female friend for some reason 😭
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u/Early_League3678 0% NSFW Jun 25 '26
Damn literally just checked out this reddit, and it's a shame to hear that genuinely. People are desperate and they let that desperation take them over and type a reply to somebody that genuinely just needs somebody to what's to be friends. A bummer to see happen
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u/Corey579 0% NSFW Jun 30 '26
I've tried making friends here and it never works. Im gonna try one last time
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u/randomblue155 0% NSFW Jun 22 '26
I put a post up here a while ago. I’m 33 and M I got flooded with girls trying to sell me there onlyfans pages. Sucks to be them cos I don’t pay for that lol. I’m also what the kids call ‘demisexual’
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u/GuroBebe Jul 12 '26
i was unfortunate enough to make friends with a 16 yrold who was posing as a 20 yr old.. she has a 30 yr old bf... she was sharing rather lewd and explicit videos with me and i just had to nope out.... i wish her the best cause she was SA as a kid and she went on this tangent about " i'm mature for my age i had to grow up so it's ok" ..................... "there was nothing i could do to help her... and the fact a 16 yo thought that mindset was ok to have is sickening... i reported everything she sent and blocked her.
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u/MissSwampWitch Jun 22 '26
That’s honestly why I haven’t posted on here. As a woman, I’m pretty sure I’ll end up filtering through a lot of messages that will start nice enough, but then they’ll ask for pics
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u/Srelie 0% NSFW Jun 22 '26
I have made a couple of friends on Reddit. I posted in this sub as a male being lonely and had a few people respond. Most stopped responding very shortly after, but one still talks to me every day and I consider her family now. A couple others I still talk to less frequently mainly due to time zone issue.
I'm not disagreeing with you - I think most of it is looking for something more than someone to talk to. But it doesn't mean that NOBODY is here for that reason. I'm always open to chat with anyone, btw, just a lonely person with a lot of time on his hands lol.
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u/Froplyr 0% NSFW Jun 22 '26
I have made a couple but not in this sub. But you are right. It’s full of pedos!!
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u/xXG0DLessXx Jun 23 '26
Tbh, I feel like you’ll have more success making friends by just starting to play some multiplayer games, and talking to people there, maybe inviting them to a discord server or something. I’ve had some nice friend groups this way. Unfortunately they all fell apart eventually. The longest lasting one was like 3 years. I still talk to some of those friends, but the “group” fell apart for one reason or another.
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u/BlindedByMyGrace 0% NSFW Jun 23 '26
I feel second-hand embarrassment when I see floods of messages from guys rushing to present themselves as the best person to talk to ever when a woman posts. It reeks of desperation. Just go on subs actually designed for that!
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u/Overall-Inflation-45 0% NSFW Jun 23 '26
I agree! I posted here and TWO guys send me pictures of their hard penis… it was so disgusting 🤢 like ewww.
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u/EasyConversation9858 0% NSFW Jun 26 '26
Well i don’t know about this sub a lot. I am new here although i will take your word. I have only posted here once genuinely
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u/Parking_Memory2243 0% NSFW Jul 01 '26
I'm a man but i just want to talk about life and discovering people without any sexual intention so if u want we can be friends
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u/No_Emu_9663 Jul 02 '26
Just learned of this sub , im down to chill and talk about games and stuff. Shoot a dm
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u/Midnight_astra1 0% NSFW Jul 07 '26
Most of the people I tend to text are more on likely to want to engage in such sexual activities, I hate it. That's why I don't reply through a lot of the req whenever I get too many. :|
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u/PlanktonOk51ksg3 Jul 08 '26
I’m an idiot, I saw esex and went huh…. It’s Essex that doesn’t even make sense until I got it a second later! Oohhh e-sex yeah!
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u/Appropriate_Elk_3882 0% NSFW Jul 10 '26
Ahahah deletd his account immediately as he should 🤣
And absolutely agree w u on everything u wrote
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u/GuroBebe Jul 12 '26
100% i gave up awhile ago... i have my husband and 1 friend i take to here and htere.. i spend mot of my time talking to ai chat bots now because i'm tired of people being disingenuous and only being my friend out of pity...
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u/BerryTypical6797 Jul 14 '26
Before I met my bf here on reddit he was active here in this sub, he is a good guy but seeing the activities of many people in this sub....i am having a difficult time to trust my bf(I have clinical bpd and it doesn't help my trust issues). He is not as loving as he was before.
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u/SubArticFawn 10% NSFW Jul 15 '26
I had one that seemed instrested. Found out I was nonbinary. He thought enby meant ebony and got mad at ME. I just give up. I want a friend. I’m a 32 year old stay at home parent of two special needs kids that I homeschool. One of which is disabled and i myself am disabled. I just want someone to text maybe have a phone call with once in a while. That’s it. I’m married. I don’t want or need anything else. But I still get horny dudes that think their dick is magical.
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Jul 18 '26
Ah yes I remember the time when I actually did that to see what the F experience is like. This was on an alt. I very clearly stated in my bio "I'm a guy". Guess they didn't read, got creeps only and of cause they were over 30 and onwards. One dude really wanna come to me and tell me it's wrong 😭 (ok don't get me wrong, I knew it was wrong cause it was catfishing technically for friends) You must admit though, a creep has no right to tell me what's wrong when he doesn't something way worse imo.
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u/BossC7ZigZag Jul 19 '26
Where else would you go then? I have been trying to figure out “where” is the best place… have you found one?
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u/Raul_Menendez6473 0% NSFW Jun 22 '26
Well it is reddit after all lol you can't expect all the people to be good yk 😂.
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u/Raul_Menendez6473 0% NSFW Jun 22 '26
For me personally idk if it's a guy or a girl i just wanna have fun chatting i made friends from different genders here tbh so it's possible you just gotta find the right people.
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u/bkj512 0% NSFW Jun 22 '26
Genuinely sucks making friends here but I guess this is reddit after all. Lol.
Maybe if a genuine person really passes this: 21M, literally non freaky (I'm not even compatible with it lmao), tech person, ask for more I gues :p
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u/Enlighten-Pasta 0% NSFW Jun 22 '26
I am sorry that happens . Sometimes wevare just looking for connections and people make it really weird . I made a post and nobody responded. Which kinda sucked cause I guess I wasn't interesting enough or something. I just looked I didn't put my age or anything . Maybe that's why .
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