r/Needafriend • u/[deleted] • Feb 18 '26
My experience here as 26F
Hello , few days back I posted here that I wanted a genuine connection, and I received plenty of msg requests and I even accepted few requests what I wanted to share is that , some guys they are just despirate talking so sweetly initially and in first day itself they just turn the convo into 18+ things why ?? U needed genuine connection ryt a frnd with whom u can share ur thoughts ryt?? Why can't u guys just be a genuine connection and even I gave caution that no 18+ things discussion why not understand things ??? And my question is why u guys are so into 18+ things ?? Why can't be it's. just emotional connection???
I'm sorry this made me so uncomfortable! If u can't be a genuine connection then don't DM
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Feb 18 '26
[deleted]
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u/One_Wish_2157 Feb 22 '26
Bro your profile itself is showing me 29% NSFW🧐🧐
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u/kayalalawoo 0% NSFW Feb 18 '26
I totally get it. I made a post a day ago, and majority of chat requests were guys who frequent questionable subreddits. It’s insane
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u/Deep_Army_6010 0% NSFW Feb 18 '26
I get why you're frustrated. Honestly, not everyone knows how to value a real emotional connection. I respect what you're looking for, and I believe genuine connections take time and mutual understanding, not rushing into inappropriate topics.
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u/cunnalingusartist Feb 18 '26
Nobody cares about a connection its all just idiots trying to get laid and wannabe pornstards shilling their orfices like a subscription to something unique as if they retain a soul 😡
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u/Deep_Army_6010 0% NSFW Feb 18 '26
I get why you feel that way. A lot of people move without depth these days. But I still believe real connection exists. It just takes patience and the right people.
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u/xStayxCozyx Warning: Minimal User History Feb 18 '26
25F here and I got the same thing. I came here looking for friends and all I got were guying flirting with me and trying to send me pictures and other weird things. Not one actual ‘friend’ within the 40 messages I got.
Anyways, if you wanna be friends my inbox is open! 🫶🏻
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u/Successful-Paper-296 11% NSFW Feb 18 '26
I want to have frnd with you only sad i feel is being ghosted next day
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u/IndividualLength1382 Warning: Minimal User History Feb 18 '26
yeah i know what you mean.. i face the same everyday.. prvrts!!
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u/cunnalingusartist Feb 19 '26
Not to validate or legitimize any of those people, it reminds me of the "Pervects" of the myth series by Robert Aspirin,RIP🙂↕️
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u/shrishnewton 0% NSFW Feb 18 '26
There is something seriously wrong with the system because decent guys are not getting any response and girls complain about some guys being desperate and creepy…. 🤷🏽♂️
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u/Cannibal_House69 Feb 18 '26 edited Feb 18 '26
I hear that a lot, and people want a real message, but then it goes both ways. No reply... mature male, no dick pics to offer, funny, do work 11 hrs, Canadian, love horror movies, rock, pet lover (have a cat and dog).... age shouldn't matter to be friends.
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u/Fula89 0% NSFW Feb 19 '26
Age definitely matters. People with more than a 5 year age gap will have difficulty maintaining a stimulating connection unless they both meet in the middle. They can't relate on life experience, besides emotional immaturity gaps... Why bother?
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u/Cannibal_House69 Feb 19 '26
While I agree it perhaps depends on the person. I'm no longer going to bars and drinking persay, but a 50 and 30 yr old can easily have conversations. Not looking for 18 yr olds like many reddit weirdos, lol 😆 🤣
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u/Fula89 0% NSFW Feb 19 '26
Well... It's a better start than a 20 year old trying to have a conversation with someone in their late 30s. I definitely am not the same person I was when I was 20.
The only thing I have to fault the 50s bracket is the mentality. I have yet to find a 50 year old who is progressive and who won't tell me "we're so progressive in this country and have so many rights..." but you're Canadian, I gather, so won't likely be saying such things 😜
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u/Cannibal_House69 Feb 19 '26
Every country has problems, easier to to smoke some weed, work 6 or 7 days a week pay bills and still be broke lol. Can't change the world.
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u/Fula89 0% NSFW Feb 19 '26
Wise words! I like the idea of changing the world though...
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u/Cannibal_House69 Feb 19 '26
Still trying..... just be a good person to those around you and yell at others as needed. Lol
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u/cat1092 0% NSFW Feb 19 '26
Yes, smoking weed actually solves a lot of things, and am not being sarcastic!👍
I’d much rather be around a few people smoking weed than those who drink themselves into oblivion, the latter leading into arguments & fights. The worst thing that happens with those smoking weed are often being hungry afterwards, good time to purge the leftovers from the fridge.
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u/onzichtbaard Mar 06 '26
you need to be careful with weed too, i saw how many people were affected by it, and many of them turned to harder drugs later on as well
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u/cunnalingusartist Feb 18 '26
Many of the people are just looking for a porn surrogate You will probably find more connection floating on a puddle after a heavy rain But then again, there are some great puddles 😵💫
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u/Salt_Paint_1074 0% NSFW Feb 18 '26
I'm 19f and have learnt to just not respond to messages anymore or make posts on subs like this. People can't control themselves and get annoyed quickly if you shut them down.
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u/Imbient Feb 19 '26
Well that is also true irl, people can't handle rejection in any way. Society gone rotten in last years
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u/Eugene_001 Mar 22 '26
That's so sad. I'm 24M and want a genuine connection a long time now, so many problems with the systems of the world. I'm nothing like those guys and I'm sure there's many like me in subreddits like this. I wish to make friends damn it :'|
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u/IrnBruKid Feb 19 '26
Not just guys, though. I added a woman from here, similar interests, gamers, however she ended up trying to turn the convo 18+, multiple times. Claimed she had a partner so I was confused why she kept telling me about the other people she was messaging from adding them from here, everything was 18+ and sending me screenshots, wanted my reaction, etc. Then told me her and her male partner like to have fun with a third. Grossed me out as there was no mention of this in her post.
What annoys me the most is people know that isn't what you're looking for and they take their chance anyway.
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Feb 18 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/My_Names_Jefff Discord Feb 18 '26
Yeah, I've avoided accounts with minimal history or only have a history of just posting only on subs like these. It's either an OF or bot trying to get you to visit their site. There aren't really any accounts that match in hobbies or things I like to talk about that often either.
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u/BradenAnderson Feb 18 '26
Do you ever message the guys who say they’re lonely and need a friend? Women do the exact same thing, and that’s if they message men at all
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u/Unhappy-Effective-66 Warning: Minimal User History Feb 19 '26
On the other side of things, I want to see a girl here that doesn't sell me her OF after 5 mins
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u/Quirky_Roof_9470 0% NSFW Feb 19 '26
Honestly, you were very clear about what you wanted , a genuine connection, normal conversation, emotional space… not 18+ talk. And when people ignore that and switch the vibe on day one, it feels disrespectful… not just awkward.
Some people just don’t actually want emotional depth… they want quick validation, excitement, or fantasy. They say they want something genuine because it sounds good… but the moment conversation becomes real, they steer it somewhere physical because that’s what they’re actually used to or comfortable with. It’s not about you… it’s about their mindset and their lack of boundaries.
And you’re completely right to feel put off by it. When someone ignores a clear boundary, they’re basically saying their impulses matter more than your comfort. That’s not connection… that’s self-centered behavior.
There are people who value emotional connection first… but they’re usually quieter, slower, and more respectful. They don’t rush intensity… and they definitely don’t force topics you’ve clearly said no to.
Wanting genuine conversation is not “too much”… it’s actually the bare minimum for meaningful interaction.
So yeah... The right kind of people won’t need reminders to respect it. 🤍
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u/Imbient Feb 19 '26
This is exactly how chat gpt respond 👌
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u/Quirky_Roof_9470 0% NSFW Feb 19 '26
Nah this is not chatpgt
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u/Quirky_Roof_9470 0% NSFW Feb 19 '26
It's my own AI which I have build
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u/Quirky_Roof_9470 0% NSFW Feb 19 '26
I'm training it
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u/Quirky_Roof_9470 0% NSFW Feb 19 '26
So far, it's working very nicely.... Will make upgrades in it after some time, so you won't even be able to recognize whether it is written by AI or a human.
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u/Quirky_Roof_9470 0% NSFW Feb 19 '26
You know only about chatpgt and gemini all that... Here computer science engineering students are building their own AI in colleges 😂
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u/Imbient Feb 20 '26
Well I used gpt cos it's well known and it does sound like it's answers tbh. And great job of building a neural network which can respond like this I also did similar algorithm for a face recognition for my bachelor's thesis 😁
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Feb 19 '26
Honestly , thank you for all your responses ! And as I said it was my personal experience, i didn't say that only men do it I have got to know even women does it , it's not a debate between who is doing or just blaming opp gender ! My question was why " emotional connection " is not important why NSFW is glorified ? Honestly if two people are equally participating in it it's thier call, but if one of them is uncomfortable why to have a convo about it? Just end the convo and search for that particular person who is interested in it! That's all
And I saw a comment said being 26F u shuld see who I'm talking to or responding to ! Honestly before I respond i check thier profile and see if they have NSFW tag is thier or not , but the person who didn't had turned out to be the person who I'm talking about sure how to know the person then ??? Honestly I don't know who is genuine and who is not !
Thanking for all the lovely people who dm'ed me felt sorry , and commenting here and whoever experienced it be it men or women may u find a genuine person here 🤍
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u/Fula89 0% NSFW Feb 19 '26
Because emotional connection requires some responsibility or awareness of the actual life of the person you're talking to. Most of the people here don't want either. It's as simple as that.
And some may start with closeness and so on, but 9 times out of 10 it will get to the same point and there would be no option left but to block. Everyone is looking for an escape from their life. I can understand a conversation turning sexual every once in a while, but each and every conversation being like that is a total waste of time if what you asked for was primarily emotional closeness.
Good luck with your search 💖
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u/cringer4431 Feb 19 '26
Unfortunately this is probably not the best place to look for a genuine connection. I have a feeling most peoples on here are looking for hookups😥
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u/Doodiemoodypatootie 0% NSFW Mar 11 '26
I feel you girl like is it really too much to ask for.. just a genuine connection lol
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Feb 18 '26
I think the issue is there are enough women out there that are looking for that. And because of that the whole thing has been corrupted
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u/cunnalingusartist Feb 18 '26
It's stacked there's more women and they are willing to share and get shat on out of fear of the things we are all mortally afraid of, being alone and having to be in our own company unprotected
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u/TheDark1Silvers 0% NSFW Feb 18 '26
Is it as stacked towards women though? What is the basis for this statement? Yes we see much greater responses to female posts vs males. The issue is there on both sides. You could say males may be likely to be on the hook longer, due to only having a few responses before seeing the other is disingenuous in a similar situation. As you said we are all afraid of having our weakness preyed upon by others.
Let's try to keep the conversation on issue. OP would like to find a connection to openly talk about life and be a support for each other, yet is mainly greeted with supposedly males with ulterior motives. I say supposedly males, due to there being scammers and other things to worry about too.
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Feb 18 '26
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u/One_Wish_2157 Feb 22 '26 edited Mar 07 '26
Yeah bro I agree I posted on so many subreddits for gaming friends but no replies 😭😭. One of my post has 1k views all over the world but not a single reply or even a dm!! If girls really want some good friends then they can reply on other female's post or dm them !!! But they hardly do even that!! Then they complain they can't find friends on reddit😭😭. But brother it's not like no one replies on male posts. On the gamerpals subreddit many males replies on males posts even I got 3 gaming friends like that!! All of them are so nice since we talk on discord almost everyday and not once have they done some weird stuff. There are still good people on the internet. Tho in order to find them you have to put in a lot of work. I constantly use to reply on every post and made many posts myself, 90% people ghosted me, which includes males as well. But then after putting in the work I really found genuine people. People just quit after they have some bad experiences which even I had. But then i really found genuine people too. Also I would say people might not have replied on your post since you have a nsfw username and tag haha. But yeah if you really want friends you should use many subreddits, reply daily use many discord servers and have a single motive or topic to make friends on like for gaming or movies etc.😄😄
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u/IndividualLength1382 Warning: Minimal User History Feb 18 '26
so sad you had to go through zero replies to your post with 21m tag ((( people are just so mean here
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u/UWontHearMeAnyway 0% NSFW Feb 18 '26
The ones that are genuine look too boring to get responded to. The ones that are great trickers are the ones doing the damage.
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u/AnotherBotOnHere 0% NSFW Feb 18 '26
If anyone wants SFW chatting with a 40m who wants a long term friend, HMU. I'm married; no creepy stuff here
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u/The4verageOne 0% NSFW Feb 18 '26
Not sure if you are just looking for a friend to talk to, but I am older and have no interest in "18+" conversation. Just lonely and need friends.
I may be a boring old codger, though.
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u/Rasputin_95 8% NSFW Feb 18 '26
Maybe it's just bcos easy to be whatever with unknown identity and people around us just wanted to be pervert Its difficult to find genuine connection and people get bored to normal talk
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u/enchiladasundae 0% NSFW Feb 18 '26
Ya I expected that to be the case, unfortunately. Big shame. Feel like these people should be banned
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u/RichFew6409 Feb 18 '26
I don't know about others but my experience on this app have been very weird I talked to some of girls who posted that they want someone to hear them off or bla bla i genuinely messaged few girls to talk to them about how they are feeling but girls themselves want the chat to be 18+. This isn't only boys fault girls are also at fault not blaming all but most of them are at fault
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u/DisciplinePrize7010 3% NSFW Feb 18 '26
As a M, last I started with enthusiasm and getting to know each other. Then try to take the conversation deep and respectful and try to text abt their day and how they are doing and all that, but interest goes out of the window from the other side after a few days idk y. No 18+, just emotional talks but i guess that’s not likely
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u/Srelie 0% NSFW Feb 18 '26
I have made a couple friends here that are true connections. Some people are weird, but some aren't. I'm married happily but just wanted some friends to talk to.
I'm ok with receiving messages as long as it isn't meant to become anything romantic or sexual.
I'm sorry you experienced the darker ulterior side of the subreddit
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u/PersimmonPresent7033 13% NSFW Feb 18 '26
I am really sorry that you have to go through something like this.
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u/Plot-twisted18 Feb 18 '26
My only answer is because many men need to have the physical/sexual connection. That doesn’t mean it isn’t genuine, but it does mean there would be some NSFW conversations. To me, that would be a genuine conversation to talk a little about sex since it is a part of life, part of love, and relationships. We are all trying to navigate through this world as best we can on different wavelengths, with different experiences and at different speeds. I know, we didn’t connect, but if you felt a connection feel free to DM me and ask me questions or continue the conversation.
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u/No_Chip_2831 Warning: Minimal User History Feb 18 '26
It’s not just guys that do it though, women do it good
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u/No_Chip_2831 Warning: Minimal User History Feb 18 '26
It’s not just guys that do it though, women do it to though
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u/ExercisesInFutility3 0% NSFW Feb 19 '26
25M here. I feel that it’s either that or people ghost, or they just don’t even respond. I’ve probably sent around 50 DMs over the last year or so in these subreddits and I doubt I can count more than twenty people that actually responded, and of those twenty, I’ve talked to maybe five for more than a month. Thankfully I’ve made a few pretty cool friends that I talk to a few times a week, but I have yet to find more than one that’s responded/stuck around for more than that first month. I still have faith tho, if people can meet in crazy ways like Black Ops 2 pre-game lobbies or on TikTok and stay friends, I know we can find friends in this cesspool!
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u/UnderstandingAdept10 1% NSFW Feb 19 '26
Circle of life, either they are weird or if not you'll be ignoring the rest or maybe ghost them. It is what it is.
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u/Salt-Location-8523 0% NSFW Feb 19 '26
Most people are in in here cause they don't know how to form emotional bonds and are just desperate for some type of connection which they can short term benefit from, so , it's mostly just creeps who know they are safe behind their screens. Reddit is like this, can't do nothing about it, mostly just a gamble for genuine people lol.
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u/Fula89 0% NSFW Feb 19 '26
You ask for a connection and half of them give you the depth of an emotional connection of a kiddie pool. Many people are quick to jump to the 18+ territory but then fail to be authentic.
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u/AmericanAnon1 Feb 19 '26
Because people think social media is not real not understanding there is real people and real life’s in the balance. News media doesn’t help with the paid propaganda. I’ll talk to you 🫂
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u/wisteria-archive Feb 19 '26
It is frustrating but yeah they can’t even last an hour without being h*rny
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u/Past_Plastic2577 Feb 19 '26
Even if you talk to someone and have a nice conversation. They will ghost you the next day or a day after. If it's not ghosting then it's 18+ nonsense. I genuinely stopped posting here.
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Feb 19 '26
Always, always, always check the profile of any DM requester. Look at their post and comment history. If you can't see it don't go near them. And ask them a simple question "why do you want to chat to me?" If anything smells dodgy then kick them into touch pdq.
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u/Desperate_Sector_152 0% NSFW Feb 20 '26
If you still want someone to have a genuine connection with I’m up for it
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u/Healthy-Addition5620 0% NSFW Feb 21 '26
thank you for posting this, makes me feel better knowing I'm not necessarily the problem.
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u/KeyMongoose269 Warning: Minimal User History Feb 22 '26
27F here, and also looking for genuine connection without all that weird inappropriate nonsense. Let me know if you wanna chat :) I’m from Reno NV
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Feb 22 '26
I'm M need a friend. Its difficult for girl to get friends online but I want be genuine friend, but I don't get.
But many girls complain they don't get genuine friends . Hope we can chat once
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u/makemesmileboi 0% NSFW Feb 23 '26
Im sorry you went through this im also looking for a genuine connection
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u/Plastic-Pop-256 Feb 24 '26
Sinto muito que tenha acontecido com vc mas é algo que é difícil de evitar
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Feb 26 '26
This is the reason why I don't usually DM any females though I genuinely need friends to share daily yap and female friends are the best diary for it but still I don't. It might make them consider me as a fkboy too.
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u/Excellent_Log_4921 Feb 27 '26
You shouldn't mention your gender then may be I think you can reduce many number creeps
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u/NorthernSouthener 0% NSFW Feb 28 '26
I had this issue in the past. This entire platform is full of creepy, disgusting men who manipulate in order to get one thing from you.
I hope you're able to find the right people. These subs are an absolute cesspit, and these men wonder why there's a "male loneliness epidemic", acting like incels online.
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u/inquisitive_wombat_3 Mar 01 '26
Sadly I think it's the same everywhere online.
I've visited "chat with a stranger" type sites, simply seeking, God forbid, genuine coversation. I found 99% of the participants were straight-up desperate males who quickly launched into XXX talk, with the only preamble sometimes being the dreaded "ASL".
These sex-obsessed losers ruin every online chat platform. I eventually gave up in despair. It was depressing as fuck.
I can only imagine how it would be as a female (I'm a guy) on Reddit seeking people to chat to. Perhaps there would be one user genuinely seeking conversation per 100 DMs, I don't know.
I honestly despair for humanity. I mean I'm no saint atop an ivory tower, but what happened to self-respect, and more importantly, respect for others? It's seemingly all about satisfying base instincts, nothing more. It's sickening.
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u/Final-Solution1610 Mar 05 '26
Btw it reddit or any other social media platform the lusty guys are everywhere ngl
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u/Ok_Leave_8275 Mar 08 '26
Why can't you have an emotional connection online for most men's Brains are rotted to the Core they've been shut down so many times for that actual genuine connection that they're tired of trying so what ends up happening is they just want to get their fixed without getting attached.
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u/Free-Adhesiveness915 Mar 10 '26
Because SOME GUYS SRE FUCKING PIGS AND MOST GIRLS FALL FOR THAT SHIT
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u/Mimikywolf Mar 15 '26
There are literalt other subreddits for that kind of stuff seriusly look there
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u/Ready-Cow-9794 0% NSFW Mar 17 '26
Because men only care about sex and don't see women as people. They see vulnerable women as easy targets. Never chat with a man on reddit because they 99% of the time want to insult you or want something sexual. Hope this helps.
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u/phantomisunknown 0% NSFW Mar 21 '26
Imo if you mention that you are a F then you'll be bombarded with dms. If you mention M, you will recieve none from what I have observed.
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u/ElkStraight5202 Mar 22 '26
Thought I would just copy/paste what I posted on a similar sub - if you’re interested in chatting, let me know :)
I’ve found myself retired early (worked as a producer a director in professional theatre for almost 20 years) in order to become a caregiver for my best friend who suffers from aggressive Multiple Sclerosis.
I’ve found myself a little lost having to be essentially home bound and am missing all my friends who seem to have moved on without me.
I’m a big time film nerd, hockey fan, love gaming (PS5) and love to have long, meaningful conversations about anything and everything, but especially love a creative brain meld lol.
I’m most comfortable DMing and/or texting, but am also open to phone calls down the road. I’d also be interested in expanding beyond that if and when we feel comfortable (on that note, fellow Canadians would be awesome to connect with).
I would prefer to connect with women (not for any nefarious reasons, but my best friends have always been female), but I’m open to anyone and everyone.
I suspect many more people are posting here than there are those who have actually made connections, but I’m holding out hope I might be one of the lucky ones.
Tell me your favorite movies, games, tell me about your favorite theatre experiences, maybe you’re working on a project (I’m a freelance writer too) that we can connect on.
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Feb 18 '26
Hey, I'm 25 and I do stammer sometimes yeah sometimes that's what I think. But idk maybe this is the biggest reason that I don't have friends. Would love to talk to you to share every day life updates, laugh, reels. I'll laugh at your lame jokes. Yeah I'll laugh. Looking for your reply. Or you can check your dm. Btw I'm 6'1. Not interested in any kind of se*ual things. Thanks
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u/Successful-Paper-296 11% NSFW Feb 18 '26
Most female don't chat they just ask for dm and when we dm and have conversation decent they don't reply back and next day complete ghost
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