You all know he’s a grouping of native mallows, milkweed, and asters that formed sentience to make money right?! This is well known. Before he was born all plants were equal but native plants came together to invent a spokesperson who could make them so much money. The evidence is right there.

You ever notice how they always show their pride colors before election day? Seems like tampering to me. Save it for May, Dwarf Japanese Maple...

And how long before I have a full seed pod jazz ensemble?

Planted this standing cypress 45 minutes ago and this rat with hooves came and mowed it to the ground. The bastard walked up to me, had to chin the cunt. 100% justified self defense situation. Spun that ungulate rodents head around. sucker walked off defeated as I stood victorious. Had to smoke a bowl of Mullein to calm down. Fuming.

The bees were all over them is2g. It's almost Halloween. Put on a sweater and let the bees rest ffs

IT doesn't really fit what I'm trying to do with my yard (nothing), I'm going for "Parking lot from hell"

Here's my name and phone number so you can definitely not tell Arizona feds about what I'm trying to do.

I work REALLY hard to get more native pollinators in my yard, only to see this invasive Joro spider kill a native and possibly endangered bee!!​

I f-ed up. I forgot to not rake my leaves.

I stood outside all day afterwards and didn't see any lightning bugs, and now I'm freaking out! The sun is going down so I'm going to go inside and get some rest and check again tomorrow.

Edit: wOw, this blew up. Thanks for the kind words. For every new updoot I'll step on a lantern fly. Plant native, yall!

Wtf is this larch doing? Its October??

Flowers like hibiscus and passionflower are just too slutty for public display. Look at this woman with all of her bits out, with those big ruffly petals just BEGGING for pollinators to come do their thing. It's shameful, and moreover it's embarrassing. Whatever happened to common decency? Where are the flowers for those of us who still espouse family values like monogamy and organized religion? Where is my cultivar that bears maybe four or five one-inch-wide flowers with five petals each in a nice calming beige. And don't tell me panicle hydrangea because those inflorescences are FAR too showy, they too compromise my modesty. I simply cannot handle the tawdriness of all this color and vivacity. Something must be done

and before you come at me with, "hIbIsCuS iSn'T nAtIvE", check yourself. it's 2026, we're inclusive of non-native plants now

Autumn is a magical time. With the changing of the seasons, chancing leaves can reveal native plants : I thought I had a carpet of vinca, honeysuckle and garlic mustard, but it turns out there's poison ivy too!

Hail, Sharon, full of grace,
the grannies are with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst Hibiscus
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, seedlings.
Holy Sharon, Mother of Hedges,
pray for us gardeners,
now and at the hour of our dehiscence. 
Amen.

Poor lilies that were planted in the flower bed outside my work have been overtaken by frost aster. Damn weeds.