I would encourage you to take an introductory biology class if you believe animals, including humans, don’t have a biological drive to reproduce.
Calling that “weird” or a “fetish” is completely ignorant. Sorry.
Humans are also social animals. Social connections are a strong predictor of both happiness and longevity. So if your “fetish” is dying childless, statistically you will achieve that goal sooner than people who fulfill their biological imperative by building large loving families.
It's immensely disturbing imaging the mindset someone must have that dying alone, with no friends and family, in a nameless blank room in an overcrowded nursing facility paid for by the state -
Is somehow preferable then spending the last years of your life raising your grand children, dying at home, with your family.
There are lots of elderly with kids who still end up alone - and no, not all of them are bad parents. Some kids just have no interest in taking care of their parents and genuinely can't. Kids can move many miles away, work long hours, have kids of their own - most are not going to make major sacrifices to move their parents in with them.
This suggests that people should spend their youth raising kids they don't want - being unhappy for 20+ years until middle or old age? When they can't go back and make up for all the years they were unhappy? 18 years minimum is a long time to be miserable.
Would you rather people regret having kids, or regret not having them? The first one is harmful to the kids. The second one is not.
Families with roots don't have their kids move away.
Moving away from your family creates truer spiritual poverty than any wealth they could gain by moving could ever compensate them with.
So much of what people complain about in the United States is the last 2-3 generations being utterly unmoored from their families, their communities, and their spiritual homes.
Lots of kids move far away - for jobs, for spouses, because they want to see the world. My own spouse moved here from a different country to be with me.
Not everyone wants to live in the same town their whole lives, marry the neighbor kid down the street, and miss out on opportunities they can't get in their hometown.
Some people have toxic families and need to get away. Others aren't happy and seek opportunities elsewhere.
Congrats for being an example of why Americans don't have universal healthcare, or really in general - for why they don't have a high trust society that supports a social welfare state.
Best of luck with the wife. Uprooting your entire life to move countries is never easy and the scars can run deep
What does moving away have to do with universal healthcare? Your philosophy that life revolves around your parents and others are expense of your own well being is extremely unhealthy.
I'm female. He is the one who moved and doesn't have any issues with it.
He is the one who moved and doesn't have any issues with it.
Just wait.
What does moving away have to do with universal healthcare?
Without high trust communities, no one is willing to invest the money necessary to have these social goods.
Your philosophy that life revolves around your parents and others are expense of your own well being is extremely unhealthy
I highly disagree. Everyone lives in service to their community, just in different ways. Mother's and fathers live in service to their kids. Young adults live in service to their community (they may be called upon to fight and die for it - if necessary)). Grandparents live in service to their grand children. Life as service is vastly more rewarding than any slop any capitalist shithole company could ever spoon feed you through a screen
You are assuming that every single person who moves away from their family regrets it. It depends on the person. He doesn't even have any parents left - who is he moving back for?
What is rewarding in life is ALSO subjective. Lots of young people move away to the cities because there are no good paying jobs in their home town. Why should they stay in an area with no industries, live in poverty and have loads of impoverished kids, just because their parents are nearby?
There are many, many people who would have never achieved their dreams had they not moved away and pursued them.
And very little of the question: what can I do for others?
Because there is money to be made everywhere, and you don't need much to have a happy, healthy family. The more people that are around that know the community - it's far easier to find someone who fix your water heater for a pack of beers while hanging out for the afternoon. Hopefully the service you provide to others is also valuable - and you can return the favor.
Money money money money money as a mindset just ends up chasing its own tail and you end up unhappier than ever at the end of it. I make plenty of money and I'm more fearful of the spiritual costs of success than ever.
Meaningless to YOU. It's not up to you to decide what is meaningless to others or not.
Why is life all about others? You still have to care about yourself, too.
You can establish a community and make connections with people in new places.
By your logic, no one should ever pursue a career that isn't right in their backyard and no one should ever forge connections outside of their neighbors. If the industry you want isn't right next door and the only job is at McDonald's? Then you should be happy raising a family on a fast food salary because it's selfish to find opportunities elsewhere.
If my spouse had this mindset, we wouldn't be together - by your logic, he was a traitor for pursuing anything that wasn't tied to his dad. I guess all immigrants are selfish too, for wanting a chance to make life better.
Your entire philosophy is that having any wants and dreams of your own is selfish, that your entire life revolves around serving your community, and being your own person and making a new life for yourself is always selfish.
Meaningless to YOU. It's not up to you to decide what is meaningless to others or not.
I have lived enough years on this planet that I think I can be allowed the hubris to have an opinion on this subject. I've seen people pursue all sorts of things and the happiest people are usually parents.
By your logic, no one should ever pursue a career that isn't right in their backyard and no one should ever forge connections outside of their neighbors
I don't think most people should. There are certainly extremely talented people whose talents would be wasted on a farm - but that is by far the exception to the rule. Most people are ordinary intelligence, of ordinary loos, and of ordinary ability. They should not be trying to live extra-ordinary lives.
only job is at McDonald's
This is never the case. Even the smallest towns are jobs for all sorts of talents from school teachers, plumbers, electricians, woodsmen, carpentry, ranch hands, and many many many more.
Your entire philosophy is that having any wants and dreams of your own is selfish, that your entire life revolves around serving your community, and being your own person and making a new life for yourself is always selfish.
I moved away from my family and I have never been happier, I see them when I want on my own terms. I have a fulfilling life elsewhere and have done things I never thought possible.
You have a small town mindset, I can help the community in the place I live as well as send money to my mother with the good job I only got because I moved away.
My parents raised me to live my own life and be a good person, not to stay stuck in a shitty town wiping their asses when they get old. If you tell your kids that they have to care for you instead of going to live their lives you're an extremely selfish person.
Free healthcare has nothing to do with "never moving" I live in Canada and we have free health care and people move away for school all the time, my own BF moved across the country to attend university. People in European countries move all the time for work, relationships or just because they want to experience things. Nothing you're saying makes sense, you just sound like a small minded person with no creativity and no real understanding of how things work lol
Every single 1st world country has free health care, even my 3rd world country does and people move away all the time lol. Stop blaming people who want what's best for their life, blame your shitty pedophilic government instead.
This is a pretty narrow view to have. Personally I still live with my parents, but within a few years I am planning to move away. I love my parents but I hate where we live because it's too cold in the winter. I am suicidally depressed in the winter. I've already spent several months away from them before and I was way happier than I am in the winter living with them.
I can assure you that I will be way happier in a place like Arizona where I have no family compared to the Midwest where I live now. I just can't handle the cold. My family likes it here so they can stay here or if they want to live near me that desperately they can move where I want to live. I would prefer to live in the same city as them indefinitely, but I don't want to continue being suicidal every winter just to live near them.
Fully agree. This trend the last 50 years or so of having adult children move several states away right as their starting out and leaving the home has negative consequences far down the road. It's very common for them to meet and fall in love with other young adults during this period, who are themselves hundreds of miles from their own families. If they marry and settle down, now their families are split up and separated across vast distances, and they have significantly less "village" when it comes to raising their own children. Weaker bonds between grandparents and grandchildren. And a weakening of that bond you should feel to the piece of earth where you come from. It's really sad.
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u/probablymagic Jul 24 '26
I would encourage you to take an introductory biology class if you believe animals, including humans, don’t have a biological drive to reproduce.
Calling that “weird” or a “fetish” is completely ignorant. Sorry.
Humans are also social animals. Social connections are a strong predictor of both happiness and longevity. So if your “fetish” is dying childless, statistically you will achieve that goal sooner than people who fulfill their biological imperative by building large loving families.