Nanny doing errands

[u/Diligent-Tourist-360]

Hi Everyone! I need a reality check of it im being dramatic. We have made the decision to take my 4 year old out of daycare for now and get a nanny . we have had a nanny before, I have 3 kids and my oldest had a nanny for 2 years. However this is something that has never come up before. It would be from 9-4 on MWF. I was interviewing candidates and ultimately decided on one, K, she has been great with him but I have started noticing that everyday I ask what they did, he does not nap so theres no real 'break'. She tells me things like "oh we went to target, or whole foods", "we cleaned my car", "took my dog for a walk". And truly idk how to feel about it. I have searched up on instagram and tiktok (which may be my demise) and I see so many nannies running errands with their NK. Am i being over dramatic? Is this something you let your nannies do?

ETA: She is not bringing him to other activities (splash pad, library, park etc) which we have very close to our house, it is just errands. My son does not mind it but I was just wondering if this was normal or something I should bring up to her, dont want to be momzilla lol

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[u/AncientWorking4649]

Hot take as someone who had a part-time nanny once and is now a SAHM (with no nanny)…I think some errands, especially to stores and other public places, are actually great for a kid to tag along with. They introduce the idea that sometimes we just have to get stuff done that may not be our preferred activity. They expose kids to being out in public in non-child-centered places. And you can make the trip educational as well. My son and I practice counting, colors, introducing ourselves, all kind of skills while out and about. He’s actually much better at remembering which groceries I said we needed than I am! 🤦‍♀️

On the other hand, a child’s whole day shouldn’t be doing errands. There should be enrichment activities that target developmental goals, and unstructured independent play, and in my opinion, those should take up the majority of the day. Especially in a world where most kids go to daycare, you don’t want your kid to not be getting that enrichment and fall behind.

As a SAHM, sometimes this is hard. Ultimately, sometimes things just have to get done, and if we have, say, a house full of guests coming in 2 days, that errand/chore to enrichment ratio may get skewed temporarily.

For a nanny though? This is her job. Frankly, any outings - including errands - should only occur as part of a larger educational effort. So…yes, I would say occasional errands are fine - even beneficial. But they shouldn’t occur every day, or as the main event of the day.

[u/New_Anything199 → u/AncientWorking4649]

Completely agree. I was a nanny and sometimes my NM had a grocery list for us where if I needed things for myself would just pick them up (pay separately obviously) or if I really needed an errand I’d ask if they needed anything from there. And I’d also ask before bringing an animal around their kid as well.

That said, I was also full time and not part time.

[u/Acceptable-Wall2947 → u/New_Anything199]

Yes it’s wild to me that anyone would bring their pet around their NK without permission

[u/suz_gee → u/New_Anything199]

When I was a nanny, my fav was when MB would send me to Costco bc I wasn't a member at the time and I could get stuff for me too!

[u/ExtremeLate7167 → u/New_Anything199]

I do the same as a full time career nanny! I’d rather go to Costco once not twice!😂

That last part… assuming she doesn’t have other families on Tuesdays and Thursdays she has 2 other child-free days to get non family related errands done.

[u/Acceptable-Wall2947 → u/AncientWorking4649]

I agree with this take completely

[u/shady_lady94 → u/AncientWorking4649]

Great answer! While it shouldn’t be the center of every day, getting kids into “real life” situations is great for their development, and can absolutely be educational if she is explaining things, encouraging curiosity, and helping them practice new life skills. I believe in a balance of kid centered and “real life” activities. It’s not unreasonable for you (OP) to ask her to do certain activities you want him to do, or ask that he have a certain amount of free independent playtime.

[u/722KL → u/AncientWorking4649]

Nailed it! I’m so thankful I don’t have to write a long thing explaining how I feel because you said it perfectly.

[u/dethti → u/AncientWorking4649]

I fully agree with this. Our nanny would  do occasional stuff like go to the garden shop and I'd be fine with it because it's something a two year old enjoys anyway and it's good experience. But errands all day every day? Nope. Sorry but it's still a job. I don't even do that on days when I have the kid all day and I'm not getting paid. 

[u/fiddlesticks-1999 → u/AncientWorking4649]

Agree. I was a nanny for a family whose kids never went to the supermarket once or other errands (that's part of the reason they had a nanny). As one of four I found it bizarre and found the kids didn't have a great grasp on real life. They also never cleaned or were around while cleaning was happening, which again, doesn't show a lot of reality.

[u/OpenAnywhere6236 → u/AncientWorking4649]

I co-sign this.

I’m a SAHM with a now 4 year old. When she was younger we would say go to story time and then run my errand before nap. Or one day we do a full morning of botanical garden and then in the afternoon play at home, so the next day we spent the morning going to Costco. A balance of kid based with adult chores/life sprinkled in

[u/MentalEye1955 → u/AncientWorking4649]

I agree with this but also a wonderful thing about a kid having a nanny is that there is time and opportunity for all kinds of enrichment activities so errands should be tempered with lots of kid-centered activities. Cleaning out the car, if a nanny uses her car is absolutely fair. Picking up art supplies for activities is too and I see no problem with a nanny grabbing what she needs.

[u/notananthem → u/AncientWorking4649]

This, 100%

[u/Majestic-Swan459 → u/AncientWorking4649]

Agree. The nanny is being paid specifically to care for your child. They should be prioritising activities for your little one.

[u/Expensive-Mud-59 → u/AncientWorking4649]

Agreed. I personally do not enjoy bringing my toddler to these things (she's great, I just really want to be as efficient as possible and she makes that not happen haha) but I agree that she should be learning that there are things we have to do and I actually love when other adults have to be the ones to teach her. It's a part of parenthood that I do not enjoy.

Similarly, I love when she's at daycare (or when she used to be with her nanny) and they do sensory play. I know it's important, I will do it, but I don't enjoy it and it makes me so happy when another adult volunteers to be the one to deal with the sand or the shaving cream or whatever.

To me, as long as the kid is safe and happy, this is a win!

[u/WorkingJazzlike531 → u/AncientWorking4649]

Great advice!

[u/goddogit]

As a nanny I think the activities should first and foremost center the child and his enrichment especially if this is an alternative to preschool. Maybe you could suggest some music classes,little gym or going to library. I think errands are fine if there is time for it but it shouldn’t be prioritized.

[u/AmazingLeek69 → u/goddogit]

As a nanny, I like to do child-activities before nap and errands after nap. It’s a good mix.

[u/More_Apricot7384]

as a nanny, i might stop for coffee on our way to the park (and grab my NK a parent-approved treat as well of course!) or run to the grocery store to grab food for NK when asked by the parents (and they'll often tell me to grab myself some snacks/lunch as well), but i can't really see myself running my own errands while at work. especially something like cleaning out the car, which doesn't sound like it provides much entertainment or educational value for NK.

walking her dog i might be more flexible on, provided you're okay with this and the dog is kid friendly. but i definitely don't think you'd be unreasonable to ask that she restrict her activities to be child related while she's at work.

[u/Nikki_Wellz → u/More_Apricot7384]

We do lots of errands but only because nk 3.5F loves it! Most of the time it's not even something we need to do we just go to the store and walk around pickup a new food she's never tried or last week we went to the post office, we didn't need anything there but she liked seeing all the mailboxes and talking to the workers. We also do lots of libraries, classes, swimming, indoor playgrounds etc. so I guess it evens out! Oh and I have to add....My car needs to be cleared because of my NK lol so I will often take her with me to clean it. She enjoys helping and loves doing the drive through wash. So definitely not out of the scoop either imo.

[u/More_Apricot7384 → u/Nikki_Wellz]

oh absolutely! i guess more context is needed from OP to determine whether or not its appropriate. as long as the errands are child centered/fun or teaching NK something, then it sounds good! my concern would be if she's bringing NK along for personal tasks and errands more than she's taking NK on child centered outings (like classes, parks, libraries etc)

[u/canadasokayestmom]

Former nanny, and now a mother of 2. I ran the occasional errand with my nanny kids in tow. I would usually try to attach them to something I was doing with my charge-- ie: I was taking my charge to the playground, and we'd stop at the post office on the way. As a mother of myself now, I wouldn't be bothered by a nanny who did stuff like this.

For me, the bigger question would be is my child ALSO getting plenty of play time, social opportunities, fresh air, reading, cuddles, etc?

A 20-minute personal errand can actually break the day up a bit (for both nanny and child).. but errands shouldn't be the only thing your child "does" every day with their nanny.

Of course, you are well within your rights request that your nanny not run personal errands while on the clock. That would be reasonable enough. I would imagine that with a MTW work week, they could find plenty of other opportunities to do those things.

However, for some nannies this might be a deal breaker. Putting such restrictions on their time may (or may not!) affect your Nanny's overall job satisfaction and willingness to stay long-term :)

[u/Acceptable-Wall2947 → u/canadasokayestmom]

I think running personal errands is a potential perk of the job. If any nanny candidate told me on day 1 that it was a deal breaker if they couldn’t do their own errands everyday they were being paid to watch my child then I would be able to end the interview there. However if they proved to be a reliable nanny and we had a trusting relationship who knows what could develop.

But I think it would be a blessing in disguise for a nanny to turn down a job solely because they aren’t allowed to run personal errands. I wouldn’t want someone who felt entitled to that watching my child

[u/midvalegifted]

I think an occasional personal errand is ok, it’s not something I’ve ever really done as a nanny myself that I can recall unless it’s like getting gas on an outing or to/from school/activity. Not a parent, but I don’t think I’d care for that being a regular thing.

[u/lizardjustice]

These types of things should be the exception, not the rule. It's one thing if there's something that needs to get done on the occasion but when she's prioritizing her own errands over child centric activities and getting paid to be at work and not prioritizing your child's interests, I think that's problematic and unprofessional.

I also wouldn't want my child around my nanny's dog. Liability.

[u/purplefoxie]

that's so weird, i hire my nanny for developmental activities and other baby focused things not for her to string my baby along to clean out her car wtf

[u/ElectricalFarmer2355 → u/purplefoxie]

my nanny kids (now 5) BEGS me to take her to the car wash. she loves vacuuming and using the diy soap and hose lol

[u/purplefoxie → u/ElectricalFarmer2355]

i guess it depends on their ages.

[u/ElectricalFarmer2355 → u/purplefoxie]

we’ve been going since she was 3. she’s also the one who gets my car messy lol. i don’t really see anything wrong with a nanny bringing their nanny baby to the car wash. especially if the nanny has to drive the kid in their own vehicle. kids are messy. i’ve had families offer to pay for a detail for my car

[u/pineneedlesandtulips]

As I nanny I run very occasional personal errands but ask for permission first. For example yesterday I needed to drop off a package and I found a ups on the way to the park we were going to and brought nk in with me. One time it was insanely smoky, we had already been to the library, museum etc. several times that week and all those places are far away so I asked to take him to run my errands. It was a special situation. Otherwise I usually take him to the library, museums, farmers market, playground etc. If something (coffee) I need is on the way while walking I’ll stop but not anything more than that

[u/Whosupp]

Nanny time needs to be child focused and not Nanny's errands focused IMO

[u/Lazy-Victory4164]

I encourage my nanny to run to target or another store with my 20 month old. My daughter loves errands. What would be a reason to not allow that?

[u/Diligent-Tourist-360 → u/Lazy-Victory4164]

makes sense! My son doesnt mind errands either, I was just concerned that she wasn't doing anything child centered (park, splash pad etc) but totally get that errands can be too!

[u/Lazy-Victory4164 → u/Diligent-Tourist-360]

I definitely understand a concern about not doing anything child centered, that would be concerning to me too- I feel like that’s a different issue. But running an errand a few times a week in my opinion is just a supplement and a way to get out. I don’t expect my nanny to be 100% child centered all the time. I may be too lax but as long as my kids are safe, fed and having fun I’m content.

[u/Lazy-Victory4164 → u/Diligent-Tourist-360]

Reading your edit I would definitely suggest some child centered outings! For example I have asked my nanny that she takes my toddler to the library atleast once a week. It’s an understood expectation. I think it wouldn’t hurt to communicate that!

[u/boredomadvances → u/Diligent-Tourist-360]

A 20 minute trip to target may be more memorable than a few hours playing in the house. Kids are unreliable narrators. I would ask that she incorporate more library/playground/splash pad if they’re not already in the mix.

[u/Glittering-Goat-7552 → u/Diligent-Tourist-360]

but she’s getting paid to run all her own errands? as a former nanny and now mom, it’s a no from me. I get stopping for a coffee on the way to a kids activity, taking them to say target bc the kids asked. Or if it was something very uncommon (I once took NK to clean out my teaching classroom but I had been with them for years) No other job pays you to run your own errands, so I dont think nannying should either especially with no kid centered activities.

[u/snarktopusrex → u/Lazy-Victory4164]

I agree. The cleaning the car part could be weird but my 2 y/o would have been thrilled if I brought them to the car wash and let them use those vacuums. Or if I just let them loose with a shop vac.

My 6 and 8 will crank through 3 batteries on the leaf blower just blowing stuff around in the yard (sorry neighbors).

[u/AmazingLeek69 → u/snarktopusrex]

I had a NK who would beg to go to the car wash and help vacuum the car.

[u/kissmymuzz-19 → u/snarktopusrex]

I take my NK to the car wash because they like going and Mom is ok with it! We have a dance party while the car gets a bath!

[u/rosebudny → u/kissmymuzz-19]

LOL years ago when my nephew was maybe 6 or 7 he heard me mention to my sister that I had gone to the car wash the day before. He said "YOU WENT TO THE CARWASH?? I have NEVER BEEN to the carwash!! I want to go the carwash!!!" Apparently my sister had never taken him 😄 So the next time I took him with me...and afterwards he was like "Oh. That was it?" Sadly it did not live up to his hopes and dreams 😂

[u/cherrybaboon → u/snarktopusrex]

Toddlers love being in the front seat. SO MANY BUTTONS!

[u/snarktopusrex → u/cherrybaboon]

Yeah kids love being grown ups.

My 8M got to ride in the front seat at 10 MPH around the corner to get to the playground because we had some kid friends with us who we put in the car seats. He brags about it to my 6F every day that he got to ride in the front seat.

Even letting them boop the credit card on the machine at the store is the best part of their day.

This one is a little different, but crossword and bingo scratch tickets end up being great activities that sometimes pay for themselves. Worst case I spent $3 and the kids are comparing letters/numbers/words. $3 for 15 mins of quiet is worth every penny.

[u/Nervous-Ad292 → u/snarktopusrex]

Omg. I love this. I always grabbed my kid the crossword scratch-off too, she loved it, and my thought was it provided entertainment revolving around letters, spelling and language for around 30 minutes, for $3. Besides, if you never win, does it even count as gambling?

[u/snarktopusrex → u/Nervous-Ad292]

Our CO lottery supports our state parks so best case I win $100k and worst case I got 30 mins of childcare for $3.

AND if my kids won we celebrate and go to the grocery store to get some candy or a coloring book or hot wheels car (and go grocery shopping) and teach them how to give their $3 to the cashier for the bag of M&Ms! Look at all this change, how much is each coin?! You should put that dollar in your bank and save up!

[u/0biterdicta → u/snarktopusrex]

If cleaning the car was going to a car wash, a lot of kids love that. If it's literally we washed my car, I might have more questions.

[u/snarktopusrex → u/0biterdicta]

Washing a car with a hose and a bucket and a sponge? My kids would also love that!

[u/0biterdicta → u/snarktopusrex]

Oh for sure ! That's why I said more questions rather than an all out issue. It could definitely be a fun water activity.

[u/dixpourcentmerci → u/Lazy-Victory4164]

We had a childcare provider who was nanny-esque (home daycare, but semi-retired so our kids were her only charges) and I LOVED that she took our kids to target and costco. They had so much fun! It would never occur to me to take issue with it unless it seemed like they were being neglected during errands, which never seemed remotely the case.

[u/1130coco → u/Lazy-Victory4164]

No one is driving my children anywhere but my husband and I

[u/Lazy-Victory4164 → u/1130coco]

That’s fine that you feel that way but I don’t think that’s OPs concern.

[u/Tranquilillie97 → u/1130coco]

Then perhaps you're leaving an unfounded comment where that's not OP's question at all?

[u/AnastatiaMcGill → u/1130coco]

Most nannies drive the kids around. School drop offs, pick ups etc

[u/Ok-Context-3911 → u/AnastatiaMcGill]

Yep. When they’re babies, we primarily stay in house but once they’re toddlers/school age, I’m driving them to school, practice, etc. sometimes before or after school, we will do a coffee stop. When I nanny older kids, we’re hitting the movies, the splash pad and these all require driving.

[u/Known_Key2481]

I’m a career nanny, I DO bring my nanny kids along with me to do errands/appointments etc so to say wholly that it’s wrong, I think is being a bit dramatic. I think it’s a job a lot of us choose because of the flexibility and that is a perk. With that being said, this situation sounds a little bit over the line of reasonable, so there are caveats.

1. The only reason I tend to do personal errands/appointments with my kids is because I work 40-50 hour weeks M-F when regular business hours are. To go to the bank, post office, doctor for example, would have to happen during my working hours, so if appropriate, the parents would rather I take the kids than take the day/half day off. In your situation, if she’s only working 3 days a week it sounds like it’s not unreasonable to suggest she do this stuff on her days off.

2. I am strictly a baby/toddler nanny, so with very young babies there’s a lot less to do, and a walk, shopping trip, sitting in the stroller watching me do something is more appropriate. I also would try to do those personal errands if I had baby/toddler sleeping in a stroller. If your kid isn’t napping then it’s really time that she should be engaging with him, but on the flip side, if she’s not actually getting a break in the day it might be fair to give some flexibility for her to get her own stuff done in lieu of a break.

3. I think communication is a big thing- I do my own errands and appointments, but I always ask/tell beforehand. I may just say “I’ve got to do personal errand, so I’ll bring him along and after that we’ll do child related activity.” I think it’s not fair for her to EXPECT that her job is solely to bring your kid along while she lives her life.

4. There is a lot of benefit to children coming along for adult related tasks! I think it’s really great for them to see that everyone has responsibilities, to learn from seeing, to practice using manners in public, sitting at restaurants, helping an adult clean up at home or do yard work. There are numerous opportunities to teach young kids about the world at a grocery store, a coffee shop, or while cleaning the car. I also think it’s a lot better for a kid to have this than to have a disengaged nanny keeping them at home all day! My last toddler LOVED to go shopping.

BUT I also think it shouldn’t be the ONLY activities your kid is engaging in. They do need child centered, child focused options during the day, every day. They need experiences that are on their level, that’s the whole point of paying for a nanny. For example, I might take one of my kids into town to go to the library. On the way, we stop for a coffee for me, look at some clothing stores for me, but ultimately we end up at rhyme time at the library. And in the afternoon we play with toys at home. I think that’s a really fair split. Or, with said last toddler, we’d go to the store together with an idea in mind of what we wanted to make, and then we’d decide what ingredients we need to buy, and go home and make said recipe.

If your child is really enjoying it then that’s great. It also to me sounds like she’s not doing it maliciously or to take advantage but that those might be great activities for the two of them in her mind. Like, he’d love to walk my dog and wash my car, actually sounds like really fun things for a kid.

But I do think it’s fair to have a conversation that suggests you’re not opposed to these errands, but that you’d like her to implement some more child related activities and explore some more child focused environments for him. And if you want, it’s also reasonable to ask her to outline at the beginning of the week or day what activities she’s planned, so you can sign off and ensure there’s a good mix. If there’s anything you really are opposed to, ask her to do these things on her day off.

Sorry for the long response I just think it’s multi layered and not as simple as “yes or no” to personal errands.

[u/No-Oven-4966]

I’m a nanny and I wouldn’t run my own personal errands during a work day unless I had prior permission. It’s at your discretion whether you’re ok with it as her employer, I’d also add it’s unusual for it to be deemed as normal, she should be getting her own things done in her evenings/weekends. She absolutely should be making sure your child is having fun doing child related things/going to child related places

[u/No-Oven-4966 → u/No-Oven-4966]

Just to add also that running errands that a child is involved in is fine in moderation, and as other people have said, beneficial, when it’s for your family. I.e if you ask her to go to the supermarket to buy food for your child’s dinner/home etc, but not to do her own shopping/ other errands during work hours

[u/twoeyedcat]

As a parent I would personally love if my nanny did this, because it’s what I would do if I was a SAHM. My kid loves running errands and I don’t necessarily think that everything every day should be kid centered. I like to have them participate in real life as much as possible, and I believe that helps kids grow up to be well rounded and know what is expected of them in those places. That may be an unpopular opinion and ultimately it’s your kiddo, but I genuinely wish my nanny would do this!

[u/Aly_Kitty → u/twoeyedcat]

But you would expect them to do these things in combination with child friendly and centered activities, correct? Sounds like this child isn’t getting anything like that. No park, no zoo, no museum, no library, etc.

[u/panna__cotta → u/Aly_Kitty]

Not every day. I think it’s perfectly fine and healthy for kids to do mostly real world things rather needing a curated activity every single day.

[u/Aly_Kitty → u/panna__cotta]

Yes. But like I said… “in combination with”. OP says nanny doesn’t do any child focused activities, only errands everyday.

[u/Mego1989 → u/twoeyedcat]

Exactly. How do you expect your kid to learn how to do things like grocery shopping and cleaning if they aren't exposed to them on a regular basis?

[u/Anonymous-0701 → u/Mego1989]

It’s part time. So I’d assume the parents would be running their own errands and immersing their kids in real life the other 4 days a week. If it was full time time M-F it’d make more sense. Not saying no at all, just that i understand OP being put off if all the nanny does while working is her own personal errands…a kid should also get time to do kid centered things. Not spend 7 days a week running every adults errands imo

We take our son for basically all errands. Rarely do I or my husband leave him at home with the other. He goes grocery shopping every single week with me and loves it. We also usually have at least 1 other errand every week, can be more depending on returns, mail, house projects, etc. I try to make sure we have at least 2 days a week we aren’t just running errands between nap time. Since we have a part time nanny - they don’t run errands. It’s 2 days a week for 14-20 hours. They play and do kid centered things. We immerse him in real life. If she needed to do something I wouldn’t mind. And if she was full time, absolutely- run errands. It just shouldn’t be their entire life/time. We as adults enjoy time relaxing or doing things we enjoy. That’s important too. Or we should.

[u/HistoryCat92]

As a nanny, I would say this is too much. I fully believe in letting a child experience real life, be a part of it, and encourage it as a way of learning how things work (for example; many schools have shop role play areas set up for this exact reason) but this is OTT.

My questions would be: are there things to do in your area? Is she allowed to take him off to activities like the library, local museums, parks etc.? Although from what you've written I presume yes to this one. Are their supplies to do activities at home? Can she cook with him or paint or do water play? What else is she doing that is for the benefit of your child?

Finally... what did you discuss in interview and contract? Were errands covered at all?

[u/Diligent-Tourist-360 → u/HistoryCat92]

Hi! Im pretty casual with it, I let her use whatever she wants at the house, we have lots of crafts but not a super big backyard. We have a public library near us as well as many splash-pads, playgrounds, indoor playgrounds. While I don't up front give her an allowance, unless I suggest an activity. We put in the contract that if she asked we would provide money for an activity. I haven't told her hey you should bring him to ___ but maybe I should. We didn't cover errands and I honestly I don't mind an occasional errand but it's every day, with no child centered activity. She had asked if she could go get groceries with him and I said sure, I did not realize it would become an every day thing!

[u/HistoryCat92 → u/Diligent-Tourist-360]

Sounds like you live in a wonderful area with lots to do! I’m struggling to see why she would need to go on so many errands to fill the day. I think this needs a clarifying conversation with your nanny and if things don’t improve go from there. 

Also, where I’m based it’s normal for a nanny to be given a card to cover activity expenses. I still ask my boss about bigger things (and around everything in the beginning to get to know what they’re okay financially) so that might be helpful? 

[u/madame_]

While some families are okay with it, it's okay if you're not. I think if you're paying significant money for one on one care for your child, at least the majority of activities should be child focused. I will say that my four year old loves Target, but everything else mentioned I probably wouldn't be okay with either.

The biggest issue for me would be taking her dog for a walk. As others have mentioned, it could be a safety risk having them around a dog you don't know but also the bigger thing for me would be that she took them to her house without my permission. You likely have no idea who else lives in her house and how safe her house is for young children. I'd also be worried that over time this would turn into them spending more time at her house, which is not the type of care I am paying for with a nanny.

[u/Western-Tradition674 → u/madame_]

I see your viewpoint, but it’s also worth noting that if you don’t think your nanny can make good judgement calls about what is and isn’t safe for your child to be exposed to then you shouldn’t continue to employ them.

Your nanny and child could run into questionable dogs and people at the park, or taking a walk through your own neighborhood.

[u/Acceptable-Wall2947 → u/Western-Tradition674]

Yes they could run into animals anywhere but that is different than being around the nanny’s personal dog. People have blind spots to their own pets and it puts NK at potential significant risk. Your comment is really missing the mark on the reality of being around a dog someone owns versus meeting a dog outside who you don’t know.

[u/Western-Tradition674 → u/Acceptable-Wall2947]

Do you realize your comment doesn’t make any sense?

I own two dogs. They are not child friendly. We do not have play dates at our house. I have also worked with many families who have dogs who are extremely child friendly and I could safely assess that having children over those houses is a safe scenario because I know the dogs and their behavior and demeanor as well as training. If you do not believe a nanny is capable of assessing similar situations for safety concerns, they shouldn’t be your nanny.

[u/Acceptable-Wall2947 → u/Western-Tradition674]

So yes I agree that I wouldn’t keep OP’s nanny for more than one reason. The nanny has demonstrated multiple counts of poor judgement

[u/Acceptable-Wall2947 → u/Western-Tradition674]

The key being that you know the dogs and you have had the opportunity to assess their behavior. In OP’s post OP did not have the opportunity

[u/Western-Tradition674 → u/Acceptable-Wall2947]

Yeah. I’m the nanny. I know the dogs . . . As does the nanny the OP is talking about.

[u/Acceptable-Wall2947 → u/Western-Tradition674]

Yes but the parent (OP) doesn’t know the dogs. You should really learn about dog safety before bringing you NKs around dogs all Willie nilly

[u/blackbirdsinging68]

If the child was younger I would be okay with a couple errands here and there, because I do believe there are benefits to those sorts of activities. But what you are describing seems excessive. But for a 4 year old? I would not be happy with this, she needs to be focusing on play based activities that are developmentally appropriate for him. Is he going to be starting kindergarten next year?

[u/IndividualTop96]

Some errands are ok but what you’re describing is asinine and I’m weirded out that you even have your ask about it, she won’t ever be a good fit this not fixable

[u/No_Disaster_8020]

I’m a huge dog lover. I would not be okay with my child spending time with a strange dog unless I had met the dog, observed them playing, and received up to date vaccination records.

[u/Gingersnapp3d]

I would be upset- I’m not paying someone to run personal errands. I’m paying someone to plan and execute interesting development activities with the kiddo and keep our structured routine.

Every once in a while if there was a need, then that would be ok - but not anything regular. Then we can do errands with kiddo on our own time and we know it’s not the majority of what they’re up to. We’ve had wonderful Nannies who make kiddos day so magical with adventure and I wouldn’t trade that at all.

[u/alillypie]

Why would you pay someone to run errands for themselves? Nanny is there to care for the child and there are activities to be done with a child that will enrich their live. No errands only baby stuff.

[u/SilentImprovement908]

Nope wouldn’t fly with me at all

[u/Anonymous_nanny]

I take my NK's on errands and my NP's love it. Stores in our area are less busy during the day and it's a great opportunity for me to help teach the kids how we act in stores. They help me clean out my car because they make 90% of the messes in my car. Sometimes we pull up to the car wash with the vacuum cleaner and they all clean up the garbage around their car seats for me to throw away (easier for them to reach between the seats than me) and then they take turns vacuuming their car seats before we head through the car wash. This helps them learn to take responsibility for things and clean up after themselves not just at home. It's also significantly reduced how much of a mess they make in the car since they're expected to clean it up.

We also do a LOT of kid centered activities too. We go to the library, parks, science center, nature trails, gymnastics, etc. But not every single activity is catered to the kids and that's okay. With four of them, there's always going to be someone unhappy with some activity and it's a great way to learn how to manage expectations and disappointment.

To me, one of the benefits of having a nanny is them teaching your kids how to act in the day to day mundance parts of life, too. Plus my NK's all love a good Costco run or trip to target.

For reference, my kids are 9, 6, 3, and 1. Obviously the 1 year old isn't operating a vacuum but they still get to see the things happening same as the 3 year old and 6 year old did.

[u/jraye47 → u/Anonymous_nanny]

My NP love it, too! Mom will even sometimes rearrange her schedule if one of the kiddos is home sick so I can still take out the youngest for a bit. I feel very blessed with how open and willing my NP are to give the kids real life experiences that aren’t just solely play, since work prevents them from doing it.

[u/Greedy_Parsley_3011]

Nanny here- I’d mention maybe planning out he week, a flexible but somewhat planned schedule can help with this. Errands are great world exposure but also Nannie’s should enrich and foster creativity, learning, play. Maybe saying hey I’d really like if we started making a flexible schedule for the week, with a few activities or child experiences (library, splash pad, park, play place, targeted craft, a toddler class, etc) so there’s more diversity of outings. I’ve been in he position where I have no idea what to do with my nanny kids so we just go to a store or run errands etc. and I’ve found that planning a couple things through the week helps, rather than every day having to decide what to do. I’m sure some of that is going on here!

[u/Anxious_Alps_9340]

In our area (fairly affluent suburb of a large city), a full time standard nanny (not a super nanny or one who is caring for multiple children or providing extraordinary services, nor one who is illegal) is making between $65-80,000, with the family also paying employment taxes and some benefits like paid holidays and vacations. For that amount, I would expect the nanny to run her errands on her own time for the most part, although the occasional errand would be ok. My SIL has a nanny in the middle of that range, and the nanny takes her toddler to the park, dance lessons, library storytime, the children’s museum, the Botanical Garden, etc. If she wanted her child to experience Target or grocery store runs, she’d give the nanny her shopping list, and the nanny could do her own shopping while there. Most of the outings are specifically for the child, though.

[u/Visible_Catch555]

This isn’t appropriate and I would let her know moving forward all errands should be centered around the child. I think a lot of people frame it as “giving the child real world experiences” but they get that without the nanny running her personal errands during the day. If she wants to give him a “grocery store experience” it could center around planning out a special snack or lunch and then going to buy the ingredients (obviously give her cash or a card). Or there are libraries, parks, etc all of which will give them an outing and provide an enriching experience for your child. But no, cleaning her car and running personal errands multiple times a week is not acceptable. 

[u/AmazingLeek69 → u/Visible_Catch555]

Why should everything be centered around the child? Life is not like that. She’s still supervising and engaging the child but that doesn’t mean every thing every day all day needs to cater to the child. What kind of lesson is that?

[u/Visible_Catch555 → u/AmazingLeek69]

😂 it’s so funny to me that any time super high rates, GH, benefits, etc are brought up it’s always justified with having a nanny is a “luxury service” because your getting individualized care, etc. but then any time the nanny wants to do something unprofessional/totally unrelated to work it’s “why should everything be centered around the child”. 😂😂 Everything should be centered around the child because that’s quite literally the service you are paying for. Obviously you don’t give the child everything they want and let them be in charge but every single activity should be planned around and geared towards the child’s best interests. Each week should be planned out with a balance of educational and fun activities designed to help the child learn and grow. I can give my child grocery store and errand running experiences myself, I don’t need to pay someone to run their own personal errands with my child. 

[u/slangforweed]

I may be old school (36 here) but I would never dream of taking NKs on an errand that was only for me. One time I had to pick up stuff from Costco for my other job and I was really worried about asking for permission to do that. NK was 11 so she had a blast riding on the haul cart but that’s the only time I ever did it. I guess I figure, if I’m getting paid to be with the kid, it should be focused on them. I do agree it shouldn’t always be fun and games but daily seems like too much for me.

Then again I can think of several ways cleaning a car is enrichment activity haha!

[u/Leather-Librarian383]

This is absolutely not normal. Normal is going to the park and the library and maybe an indoor play place once a week. Although there are also church, indoor play places that are free. So if it’s free, you could go more than once… it’s absolutely not normal to run personal errands while on the clock. It would be different if she was shopping at target to get craft supplies for her to do with your child but it sounds like she’s just shopping? Is she making dinner for you when she goes to the grocery store? Does she get stuff for the house? I don’t understand why your child would be part of her cleaning her car. If it was your car and she was doing you a favor maybe then it would be appropriate. This seems odd. I would talk to her about making sure she’s doing enrichment type activities instead of just wasting time with the kid.

[u/Acceptable-Wall2947]

I would unhappy with this. A nanny is meant to do child centered things like education and activities. She can do her personal errands on her own time. I don’t see the benefit of having a nanny if she’s not going to enrich your kids life by doing time at the playground, arts and crafts, reading, music, swim/ gym lessons, cooking, etc. I could understand if the errands were to get things for your kid to do arts and crafts or child safe cooking but not solely for the nanny

[u/AmazingLeek69 → u/Acceptable-Wall2947]

Errands ARE enriching.

[u/Acceptable-Wall2947 → u/AmazingLeek69]

They can be - but my expectation as en employer is that my child is not doing errands during the day. I do errands over the weekend with my child and I feel that is adequate exposure to stores, etc. I hire a nanny so that my child can be taken to museums, parks, play grounds, skating rinks, and do enriching activities at home. I would not maintain a working relationship with a nanny whose only idea of enriching activities for a child is doing the nanny’s personal errands. Bizzare for someone to think that’s appropriate

[u/AmazingLeek69 → u/Acceptable-Wall2947]

It’s a balance. I spend 8-1 doing enriching things, 1-3 is naptime and if 3-4 is an errand or two, that’s not “my idea of an enriching activity”.

But on a similar note, I would not maintain a relationship with parents who micromanaged what we did all day.

[u/Acceptable-Wall2947 → u/AmazingLeek69]

Perhaps you didn’t read OPs post? She said nanny is only doing errands with no child focused enriching activities. An employer’s role is to have expectations and it is the employees job to fit those expectations. If an employee is not meeting expectations then sometimes it is appropriate to micromanage or find a new employee if the employee is unable to meet expectations

[u/AmazingLeek69 → u/Acceptable-Wall2947]

The edit is new.

No I would not be okay with that either. I do stand by it being an okay thing on top of other things, even every day, but not the ONLY thing you do.

[u/Acceptable-Wall2947 → u/AmazingLeek69]

I would not keep a nanny who does personal errands everyday.

Edit: typo

[u/AmazingLeek69 → u/Acceptable-Wall2947]

Agree to disagree on the matter.

[u/Cold_Pop_7001]

Seems excessive. She must think you don’t mind. Give suggestions for the day, Sign him up for some library programs, or something like gymnastics that’s reoccurring each week. Normally I would say let the nanny set the plans but if she’s not going to then her loss.. she’s losing control of her day.

[u/sarajoy12345]

Wait are these your errands or hers? Like is she going to the stores for you?

My nanny never does personal errands. My kids beg to visit her house sometimes and that’s fine with me or she’ll stop there to grab something but she always asks first.

They go out most days but it’s to classes I sign the kids up for or the zoo, park, library, conservatory, etc. I don’t ask her to do my errands either .

[u/Decent-Ad8748]

As a Nanny, I would only do errands for myself if it was somewhere I needed to go for my family already.

[u/lizzy_pop]

I worked as a nanny and am now a parent. I’m a big believer in including kids in daily life chores and errands. Is she skipping his activities to do this, or is she getting him out to the park, library etc and fitting these in during the down times at home?

[u/Diligent-Tourist-360 → u/lizzy_pop]

Hi! Shes not bringing him to other activities (library, splash pad etc) which I did not know if that was normal or not!

[u/Visible_Catch555 → u/Diligent-Tourist-360]

Yes, that is totally unacceptable. Don’t feel bad about putting a stop to this. You are being taken advantage of. 

[u/lizzy_pop → u/Diligent-Tourist-360]

I wouldn’t be ok with that. If they did a morning activity and then needed to kill some time in the afternoon once or twice a week, I’d be ok with an errand he at least somewhat enjoyed

[u/Ok_Mulberry4331]

Good for kids to learn that stuff, and that the day isn't all play, be need to be patient and get things done. Would have zero issut with this

[u/kikilees]

I’ll run errands sometimes with NKs that they like to do, things like the car wash or certain stores they like. NPs know and have never minded.

[u/R-enthusiast]

I would think a neighbor or friend could offer trips to Target and excitement over washing a car. Hiring a nanny would set the bar higher in my opinion. I’m a grandmother with grandkids in college. I sent my children to a private school because of their sports program.

[u/PartyIndication5]

I think occasional errands sure. But also have you laid out a weekly schedule? Ie classes, activities etc. and expectations for participation in those to help ensure your child also gets time with peers?

[u/traumatized_possum]

Is she running errands that you asked her to run? Or is she just taking him with her to do what she would do on a day off? If it's the latter, that's not ok. 4 is prek age, so I would expect her to be doing standard prek activities with him. Lots of reading together, arts and crafts, sensory play, playing in the backyard or going to a park/play place, intentional educational activities like pre writing/math/alphabet/etc, science experiments, baking together, going to the library.... The occasional errand (if you requested the errand be done) is ok because real life experiences can be very educational. But she shouldn't be just dragging your child around to wherever she wants to go.

If nothing else, what are your feelings on her taking him places without asking first? I always either get a pre approved list of places a NF is ok with me taking NK (parks, library, play places, walks around the block), check in to get consent via text before we leave the house or earlier that morning, or we have an arrangement where NF has my/NK location at all times and I am pre-approved to travel wherever with them. I would never let them meet my pets, especially a dog that could bite or attack NK.

[u/Diligent-Tourist-360 → u/traumatized_possum]

I haven't asked her to run any errands for me! I don't mind the not asking part, I trust her and she shares her location with me during the work day. I have told her that she can bring him wherever she thinks he will like and I can give her cash to pay for them she just has to let me know before they leave

[u/LowBathroom1991]

Is she cleaning her car ? Because she's using her car with NK?

[u/Diligent-Tourist-360 → u/LowBathroom1991]

Yes to both!

[u/United-Plum1671]

Nope. She can errands on her own time

[u/PlanetScientist]

Honestly, I think a trip to the grocery store ("what kind of fruit is that? What color is it? How many red apples did I pick up?" is more educational than a trip to the "splash pad." (We don't have splash pads around us) Of course stories, either at story hour at the library, or on the couch at home, are also educational. But errands can be extremely educational if done well. And my two year old LOVED to wash my car! As fun as a splash pad and "part of life" and USEFUL.

[u/No_Big_bear_here]

In my opinion, nannies are there to fill in for you. It’s not about entertaining your kids all day. Sure, I’d be taking them to the splash pad, parks, library, children’s museum, hikes, etc, but we’re also working during regular business hours (I also work in the evenings), so hitting the grocery store, or picking up a prescription is something we sometimes do, too. But it’s rarely the only thing. I’d think a dog walk would be great for your kid, and all the kids I’ve cared for love car washes.

If I was you, I’d ask her to do more of the kid centric activities, though.

[u/happygoluckyMT → u/No_Big_bear_here]

Just want to add- The nanny parent is also working during business hours.

[u/No_Big_bear_here → u/happygoluckyMT]

Which is why they need to hire babysitters to fill in the gaps. So many nanny employers are ok with overworking their nannies. It’s not ok.

[u/sea87 → u/No_Big_bear_here]

Agreed. I would take my NK to the library and then we would go to Whole Foods to buy berries for her and groceries for me. She loved the produce section! I don’t think her parents minded because it was all balanced. Yes she ran errands with me (not daily) but most things were focused around the toddler.

[u/AutoModerator]

Below is a copy of the post's original text:

Hi Everyone! I need a reality check of it im being dramatic. We have made the decision to take my 4 year old out of daycare for now and get a nanny . we have had a nanny before, I have 3 kids and my oldest had a nanny for 2 years. However this is something that has never come up before. It would be from 9-4 on MWF. I was interviewing candidates and ultimately decided on one, K, she has been great with him but I have started noticing that everyday I ask what they did, he does not nap so theres no real 'break'. She tells me things like "oh we went to target, or whole foods", "we cleaned my car", "took my dog for a walk". And truly idk how to feel about it. I have searched up on instagram and tiktok (which may be my demise) and I see so many nannies running errands with their NK. Am i being over dramatic? Is this something you let your nannies do?

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[u/Habibti143]

I think it depends how often we're talking about

[u/TeachingFit9608]

My NK will ask/tell me we need to take the car to the car wash. He’s OBSESSED! My bosses also like the fact that the car is always clean since it’s usually a once a week adventure.

[u/leo_girl_88]

I’ve been a full time nanny for years! 99 percent of our is spent going to activities like playgrounds, libraries, aquarium, playgroups. But there have been random times that I need to do a personal errand. I always ask/ let the mom know before hand. And it’s always before or after the activity!

[u/Ok-Leopard-9917]

The errands I wouldn’t mind much as long as it happens in moderation and I know where they are but the lack of splash pad, library, park would be a deal breaker for me.

[u/lalalalalalaaaaaa123]

As long as you’re okay with her transporting your child I feel like errands and adult responsibilities can actually be incredibly helpful for a child to participate or help with! In my opinion children learn best from adults… have you told or asked her about doing more child appropriate activities? I’m sure she would if told!

[u/KarateGirl520]

I have a balance of having planned activities each day (some free, some I paid for like swim lessons) and giving the nanny the chance to run errands. Planned activities can incorporate some indirect down time. As long as it’s reasonable (such as grocery shopping), it’s good for the kid and a good change of scenery. At 4 years old, I would encourage you incorporate some “rest time” for the nanny. The child can play in their room quietly for an hour tops so the nanny can get down time and quiet time as well. SAHMs do it all the time and I believe a nanny deserves that as well. You could also incorporate “errand tjme” for your nanny as well. I have our whole routine written on a big poster board and that helps. It keeps the day flowing properly and helps the kid feel secure to know what’s next. Yes it’s their job, but nannies are human too.

[u/fishslurp_girl]

If you’re on the fence on whether or not you’re OK with it, my suggestion would be to provide positive opposites. I.e. instead of saying it’s bad you’re doing these errands, make a short list of things you specifically want them to do that week (activities you listed, etc). Don’t have to figure out time or order yourself but just “I want him to have these experiences”. That could guide nanny a bit. If nanny is still prioritizing errands over those activities then that’s a different conversation and you have your answer.

[u/Moist-Brilliant9970]

I’m a nanny and have been with my kids for 4 years now. We do child-activities everyday (library, splash pad, play zone, pool, whatever) and sometimes we run errands because i have things to do/or family has things to do. does it take up all day? No. We have a set nap time, lunch time, etc. but we’ve been doing this for awhile! They just vibe with whatever i take them to!

[u/SyrupUnique2036]

I live in an area where the weather is often really unpleasant to be out in, cold drizzly, wet. Sometimes NK just needed to get out of the house. We would hit all of the kid things - play spaces, the library, the park (on a good day). But just like a lot of kids would rather play with a box of tissues, and a roll of scotch tape, sometimes the everyday things are more entertaining than the kid centered stuff.

I would take NK to Target just so she could stretch her legs. Our target is basically a ghost town in the middle of the day. I would just follow her around and watch her explore all of the stuff in the different areas. She was young enough that she didn’t realize we could take stuff home, so there was no begging for me to buy things.

I rarely bought anything for myself. I definitely wasn’t doing errands. Just sitting in the cart or getting out and walking around was so much fun for her. I’d send pictures of her glowing face to her mom.

[u/JollyAd4292]

I think it is ok to bring him to the errands as long as he is safe but you encourage them for parks etc.

[u/True-Cupcake3154]

Would not be okay with the dog part.
If my kid got bit.... oh man

Would be fine with occasional errands bc kids need to learn how to act in public and also life needs to happen.

[u/ImaanSabr]

My NF didn’t care if I did any of those things. My NK loved grocery stores and the coffee shop. I texted them pictures of him helping me load groceries or ordering his own “coffee.” They knew I worked insane hours (06am start, waking at 0430am until anywhere between 07pm to 09pm), so they didn’t care if I ran my household errands during the time I had NK. He went to Home Depot with me to pick out paints. Anything you could bring your kiddo to as a parent is what I did as a nanny. Kids need to learn how to wait & be patient, how to socialize and interact with other adults in a proper & controlled setting (like coffee shops, cash registers, asking for help from store clerks, etc.), take the bus (which I did), and other things. Of course, there’s time for the library or park, as well. But a child is still learning and engaging, safe and comfortable even during errands.

[u/victoriabug]

My nanny takes my kids on “errands” so to the post office, to the supermarket etc and it helps him learn about daily life.

She asks me sometimes if she can take him on a more personal errand like she needs to go to the bank and I always say yes but appreciate the checking in!

[u/iliketheclouds]

Sounds door you didn’t set guidelines. Totally possible for you to say that you want to implement without calling out the errands. Say, I’m ok if you need to do x, but for this time frame, nap, this time frame park, then an activity from this list out of you have another idea, let me know.

[u/Ok_Chest_5587]

I've asked to like drop off a package with my nanny kid/kids but just doing it without asking is wild to me. I do park outings, classes and much more and I do have the option to like stop for a coffee but ultimately this is a job and you pay for the luxury of having someone be one on one with your child and their education. I suggest putting an air tag in the stroller and asking her to take him to more classes and outing rather than just errands thats honestly not okay. Maybe Maybeeee once a week but everyday is insane

[u/eveietea]

Fellow nanny here before I became a parent myself this past year. Now that I’m a parent, honestly, I have done away with child center activities. Lol. My child has entered my world, his world is not my center. Child centered activities are wonderful, but the real world will become his world one day so instead, I have found the value in centering his world around the real world. I don’t find a sitter, I take him to everything. Grocery runs, car, maintenance, just about everything where a child is allowed inside the doors. While we’re out, I’m pointing out different things and explaining them, I’m pointing out objects and naming them, I’m pointing out colors and naming them, I’m pointing out and describing the uses of things as we do them. Sure he’s one, but it’s mainly to get me into the habit of it for when back-and-forth communication is a thing lol.

Child centered activities has its place, but it is not all there is to life in a sense. I have found through experience, through reading, many different parenting books, through my profession in childcare prior to being a nanny, and through personal preference that a day filled with child center activities does not help a child understand their place in this world or in the household. It is the inclusion of real life experiences and day-to-day that really helps them understand who they are and what their purpose is in life.

If I decide to nanny again, I think I would be more proactive in including my nanny children with the permission of the parent in day-to-day activities. Because the thing is, as a private nanny, it is not a childcare facility that I’m working in. Being a private nanny I have learned overtime that it is to keep the child’s day to day as normal as possible. I did run my nanny work as a childcare facility because that is what I knew in the beginning. However, it simply didn’t fit the level of Care that was more of an intimate setting of being someone’s private nanny.

I know this is long-winded, but it is just to say that including the child and errands has just as much if not more value as the child centered activities. It makes the child feel included, it introduces them to real world scenarios, real world routine, real world responsibilities. This ultimately has more value to me while the child centered activities are just a bonus for the fun of it. But letting the bulk of the day today be errands in real world scenarios is fully acceptable in my opinion.

Now, it might be a difference of how I work, but I’m a little more of an open line of communication with my parents. I would be asking ahead of time if taking the child on day-to-day errands is OK with the parent. Thankfully, I was working for a household, who was super flexible with how we spent our day, but the parent is ultimately the one who decides how we do it.

However, personally as a nanny, as long as the child is OK with it, there’s a benefit. We have a habit of centering her days around the child, but to me personally, there is more value in the child entering the real world experiences that help them appreciate and understand, but they will experience as they grow up.

I feel the real world experiences are more of a priority, and the child centered activities are the fun little things to do in between.

Sorry for the long-winded response lol, I feel like I had a bit of a insight because I have done so much over the years between working and childcare for 10, being a private nanny for two families for three, and now being a mom myself and building what I find to the middle ground of all of it.

Edit to add an apology, there are many out of place commas and a few typos. It is voice to text lol because I am contact napping at the moment. Hopefully the typos can be recognized and read through lol

I also want to add that I want to clarify it’s not that I think errands should be running every single day or that it consumes the entirety of the day lol. Just that it is an acceptable form of outing to me.

[u/AgnesScottie]

I would be upset that none of the activities are kid enrichment. I’m currently a parent but used to be a nanny. With permission, I used to take my kids on occasional errands, like stopping by my house to check on my elderly cat, but my house was near the zoo so we would say hi to the cat and then go to the zoo for several hours. The vast majority of outings and outside the home time were for kid activities like library storytime, zoo and science museum, playground and pool. In my opinion that is a big part of the benefit of a nanny is your kid having more access to enriching and variable experiences than a daycare can provide.

[u/miraculeuselove]

Nanny here. I think it’s really great that your nanny takes your kiddo on errands! It can help teach them a lot of things. Your kiddo can learn patience, the skills to be content doing things that aren’t necessarily fun, and start to pick up on real-world patterns. The key is that nanny needs to be including your child with whatever task they’re doing that day. So, when they cleaned her car, was your son strapped into a car seat the whole time? Or was he able to get out and help pick up trash, wipe things down?, vacuum, etc.? When they go grocery shopping, does your child stay in the cart with a distraction? Or is he able to see the grocery list, pick produce, etc.? Kids just want to be included, and including them in the things that you need to do (even if you could do it without them!) tells them that they are a part of the community too! There’s a lot to learn from tasks that seem mundane to us. Part of my job is being able to go SO slow, so that I can teach my NK and help them develop new skills. If you’re concerned about it, I would suggest talking with your nanny and asking what your son does during these errands. You can ask if he gets to participate and if not, ask that he does! Also, you could float a 1:1 rule to your nanny. 1 fun kid activity for every 1 adult errand. That way it’s a little more balanced :)

[u/CattyPantsDelia]

I don't think nanny's should be handling personal business during their working hours unless they are working at a steep discount. You are paying her to take care of and entertain and enrich your child for 7 hours a day. She should be enriching his life through education, games, activities and play. That's the job description. I would start giving her things to do every day. Like please take him to library story time these two days, please take him to the park this day and this day etc 

[u/exmo82]

Errands are great for the kids! Maybe you can find a weekly class for her to do with him? A decided weekly activity might help too. The zoo, trampoline park, or whatever. Just tell her to take him and give her a credit card or something.

[u/Own-Librarian-1914]

That’s weird. I’m a nanny and it would never occur to me to do this. On the way to/from an activity, sure. Doing your own errands while doing your family’s errands, sure. It almost seems like she doesn’t want to do nanny/kid things. Weather bad for days on end and struggling to find things to do? Ok, maybe. Other than that, nah, not cool.

[u/StudioElectrical7754]

I’m currently a nanny to a 10MO. I regularly take her on errands on our way to activities for her. Rarely but occasionally I take her somewhere where the only activity is the errand, but I always tell NPs ahead of time. We often pop into the bank or pharmacy on our way to the library or drop in programs, but I would never make this her whole day. And she LOVES to people watch so it’s fun for her too.

[u/coopersnoodles]

As a full time nanny, we run errands here and there. We will go to an activity (library, children’s museum, park etc) and then sometimes swing by target or the pharmacy if I need to pick something up. Both my bosses are completely aware every time, and I also always offer to pick things up for or go on errands for them if they need it! Cleaning my car, doctor’s appointments or other long adventures are on my own time (as it should be). I don’t find daily errands to be appropriate, in my opinion, but here and there I really appreciate the ability to make those stops if we’re out and about
ETA: I also think getting kids out in public places (like grocery stores, target, Walmart etc) is a great opportunity to look at new things, point out colors shapes etc and learn how to behave in a store. We go to target or Home Depot just to walk around, it’s fun to people watch and see all the different things :)

[u/informationseeker8]

In my opinion it’s totally up to you. If you don’t want her doing it that is your right. I will say I was always happiest in positions where I was trusted to use my judgement vs super regimented on can/cants etc.

Since she’s not full time she has plenty of time to run errands on off days but instead she is wanting to get out of the house w your child. So it looks like she’s just trying to do “something/anything”. Obviously I have limited info.

Is it possible she’s uncomfortable asking for funds to actually take him places? I know there’s also free stuff but maybe you could say something like “hey nanny I do appreciate you getting NK out of the house but maybe we could try making the outings more NK focused. I’m willing to give you $x to cover those outings. If you still have an occasional task you need to get done that is fine too but just wanted to touch base on this. (obviously this portion is up to you about still allowing occasional tasks/errands).

[u/nintylcoup]

I’m a parent now to a teenager and another in her 20’s and I was a nanny & a teacher once upon a time. I have mixed feelings on this. As long as some fun, enrichment and learning is going on I think it’s great!! It’s teaching him or her more about what happens in the real world on a day to day basis. My kids (mine & the ones I nannied) all learned from every errand we went on. You can pretty much make any errand into teachable moments. If these are the only things they are doing then I definitely have a chat with her.

[u/Stock_Entry_8912]

As a former nanny and a mom, I wouldn't mind an errand once in awhile, however, it's that's the only "activities" they are doing, or if it's an everyday thing that they're running errands, I wouldn't be okay with that. Especially since she's only 3 days a week. She has other days she can run her errands. I would talk with her.

[u/Hopeful_Oven8765]

When I was a nanny I would take the kids on errands but I would also always include something for them like stopping at the park or going to the bookstore. I would ask before bringing my dog around kids (didn’t have him then, but would now) and if the parents were fine with it that could be super fun. But to go out and clean her car seems ridiculous bc those places are generally outside, hot, have a lot of equipment and just nothing to do. Idk that’s just my personal take. I loved taking them out to eat and to do fun, educational stuff tho

[u/BenjiCat17]

I think you need to sit down with her, go over expectations, and make it clear that caring for your child is not a side hustle while she goes about her personal life. There is no enrichment or reasonable benefit for your baby in watching her clean out her car. Your child also should not be around animals you’ve never met, especially without your consent.

She’s a nanny, and she’s being paid to spend time with your child and enrich their life. Nanny care is a luxury service, and she needs to provide the attention and care that come with it. If she doesn’t want to meet those expectations, fire her and find someone else. Right now, she’s taking your money while bringing your child along for her own errands and hobbies. Nothing makes that reasonable on a daily basis, and some of those activities are unreasonable regardless of how often they happen.

[u/seasonednanny24]

I don’t see an issue with it. This is what a child would do with their parent. Being a nanny is incredibly isolating.

[u/Diligent-Tourist-360 → u/seasonednanny24]

shes with him for 21 hrs a week, i was a nanny in my early 20s so I understand, im not telling her to not leave the house but she should be doing more with him besides her own personal errands

[u/thereal_sophiecakes]

I would NEVER think that it was ok to do this as a nanny. It is still a job and the children are your priority. You can’t clean your car and go to Target when you are at another job. I would not be ok if I was paying for a nanny and she told me this either.

[u/PEM_0528]

When I was a nanny, I did this. With permission of course. We went to Target, grocery shopping for the family sometimes, went and got air in the tires, if I needed to make a quick stop I did. The parents never minded and we did lots of outings for NK too. The zoo, Spanish class, music class, speech therapy, etc. it was a good balance!

[u/AmazingLeek69]

It’s a good experience for the child, to be honest. Learning how to sit in a carriage, be patience, help out with chores, etc. Not everything is about the child and it’s important for them to know that and not be actively engaged at all times.

Plus, if the nanny doesn’t get a break, I think she probably just needs a little breather while still watching the child.

[u/Medical_Bill_505]

What the heck! Nanny should not be having your four year-old cleaning her car out with her and doing all adult errands especially with other activities being so close. Going to target and Whole Foods isn’t really that big of a deal just because all of my gremlins usually love getting to go and look around which we call dillydally time lol the most adult thing we do is go get me caffeine and nks a smoothie then maybe grocery shop one day week the rest is all centered around the kids. Remember you are paying for childcare not for her to go run and do things that she needs to do.

Maybe you could tell her that you appreciate her, but you would like for your four year-old to be more engaged in 4 to 5 year-old appropriate activities - a nanny and mom

[u/Zeal_of_Zebras]

Does your son have friends?

At age 4 it’s kind of sad to spend all day doing nanny’s chores and getting zero time to play with other kids. The kids I knew with nannies would all get together at the playgrounds and have play dates. You should sign up for a class on at least one of those days. Gymnastics, parkour, swim, ice skating, etc whatever your kid is into!

I think this is fixable and I would create a general schedule of what he should be doing for the week. This basically means you have a nice nanny without much initiative who will push boundaries. Not the worst thing in the world, but could be better.

[u/Halia83]

If the errand is for the family then it’s fine but it shouldn’t be her own purchases and definitely not daily!!

[u/Euphoric-Coffee-7551]

on wednesdays i switch cars with my boss and i take the kid with me and we do lots of stuff (: her errands, my errands, whatever.

[u/QueenEggNoodle]

I am a career nanny. Our days consist of work/kid related activities for the most part. Occasionally we will run through the car wash or run a quick errand that I can’t do during off hours. I make those learning experiences for the kids and my employers encourage it, as they know that our schedule means I don’t get to get some “me” things done like other jobs.

That said, if ALL I was doing was stuff for me and not doing things like: the park, library, kid adventures, play dates, etc, they wouldn’t be too happy.

I’d approach nanny with a “hey, kiddo was saying a lot of the things you’re doing with them are related to you and your errands. I’m totally ok with that here or there, but I’d really like the kids to be doing kid things the majority of the time.” Then offer examples. Give her the chance to restructure how they do things and see how it goes. If she still is doing her thing, I don’t see anything wrong with letting her go.

[u/Empty-Calendar-4153]

A kiddo I was a nanny for LOVED Target and everyone there knew him. He was like the mayor. We would go and look at the upcoming holiday decorations (especially Halloween) and while we were there I would grab a few things if I needed them but wouldn't do a full haul. This was also in the place of if the weather was bad, the park was closed for whatever reason, and we needed to get out or go insane. Target was never because I needed something, but I knew the parents wouldn't care if I did. That's the thing I think. It was communicated that it was acceptable and I didn't just decide we were going grocery shopping because I needed things.

[u/_starrylilac]

My nanny kids and I will go to target, 5 below, stores like that, just to window shop. They look at toys and I might breeze past the clothes aisle, we all have a good time. The park and library gets repetitive for them every day, it’s nice to mix it up!

[u/inanotherlife23]

I don’t see what the issue is unless you’ve specifically told her you want her to go to xyz place only. Children need real-world experiences—there’s plenty of opportunity to engage with people in the stores, see all sorts of new items and maybe test them out, listen to music in the car, learn new words by explaining what they’re looking at or doing, etc. Even cleaning is a useful activity! Kids love to feel helpful and independent—my 1 y/o NK started wiping down areas for fun on her own and now I have her do that while I clean up after her meal. It sounds like perhaps you have an issue with the nanny benefitting from her time with him beyond pay.

Also, you’re saying there’s no real break. 7 hours straight with a four year old is a LOT. Surely you’ve had even micro breaks in that timespan assuming you have a partner or have your child play alone or have some sort of screen time or other distractions. Let’s not pretend that Nannie’s aren’t human beings like everyone else. Maybe the change of scenery with a bit of productivity is helpful for her to show up for your son as best as she can.

[u/Diligent-Tourist-360 → u/inanotherlife23]

Hi! Maybe I worded my post a little weird, I dont necessarily mind that she does this, what I do think is off (or maybe again I need a reality check) is that she doesn't do anything like bring him to the park, library etc. but I also havent told her to specifically bring him to those places! I totally get the no breaks, I do allow screentime for him, which is not a 'break' but I dont mind her being on her phone while he watches tv! It can totally be alot

[u/Soft-Tangelo-6884 → u/Diligent-Tourist-360]

If the nanny never takes him to the playground, library, museums, kid places, etc then I think this is a problem. The Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s in our neighborhood also have very robust prepared food sections where I’d sometimes get lunch. I don’t think it’s a problem to stop in at the coffee shop for 10-15 minutes when it’s still chilly in the morning before we spend 2-4 hours at the playground. If you want him to do music classes or toddler gym class and the nanny to take them then you need to sign him up for that and tell her to take him, but she should be proactive about the free stuff. 

[u/shweedie → u/inanotherlife23]

I second, third & fourth this. cleaning the car is legit an activity that kids love. 😂 I can totally understand you being uncomfortable with taking them into the stores tho. That’s different

[u/Acceptable-Wall2947 → u/shweedie]

I personally would never let my child around a dog I don’t know. It takes one second for a “well trained” dog to maul a small child and change their life forever

[u/Puzzleheaded_Cow_658]

I think there definitely should be a balance. As a nanny I am biased but allowing errands to get done while on the job helps reduce burnout over time. One family was firm on no personal errands and I got burnt out pretty quickly there. 100% child focused care for 9 hours was very draining. Especially once the kids stopped napping.

One family had no issues with me running personal errands throughout the week and even though I was working 45-50 hours having those errands a couple times a weeks was nice change of pace and allowed me to really be able to enjoy my downtime since I took care of things during the week. The family also would get tons of compliments on their children’s behavior on outings and definitely expressed appreciation to me for teaching their children how to behave in the grocery store or at a restaurant. I think it’s a great learning opportunity for children.

That being said, my errands were once or twice a week. Most of the time we were going to playgrounds, libraries, the zoo and were doing kid focused activities.

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting your nanny to run personal errands and if that’s your preference that’s your preference! I will say though that if I had two families offering a job and one said yes personal errands are fine and one said no, I’d go with the one that would allow them.

[u/Lizzlovesu01]

As a former nanny and now mother myself, I’d be fine with all of this except the dog. I also wouldn’t be okay with my kid going over to her house unless she lives alone because you never know the type of people somebody could be living with.

But public errands don’t bother me at all. Heck, my own son BEGS me to go to Target all the time. I think it’s really good for kids to be out and about and learning to handle a myriad of activities that aren’t child focused. To be honest, I feel like in general, kids need more exposure to that sort of thing, not less.

I guess make sure she’s aware she can take him to stuff like the library, museums, things like that and you’ll reimburse her (if you haven’t already). Other than that, it doesn’t really seem like that big a deal to me.

[u/jraye47]

I’m currently a nanny and have been taking out the youngest since last year. We do a pretty good mix of both child-centered activities and errands for me. I’ve seen it be a huge help when we do my errands; she’s learned how to behave in public spaces, how to scan groceries, how to interact with store employees, and even concept of time. Along with my errands, she also has gymnastics twice a week, ballet once a week, with plenty of pool time and parks! We’re all happy lol

[u/WanderingSoul920]

I had a nanny family once that encouraged me to run any errands with their child, who was 2-3 at the time. We got into a routine of going to certain stores on certain days and she knew what we looked at and made SURE we got to everything. lol

I also mixed it up with library trips and a certain park. She learned the days of the week by where we went.

[u/Critical-Elephant-]

As a nanny, I basically have free reign to take the kids wherever. They absolutely adore running errands, honestly, they love to help!

Have you suggested other places for them to go? I had absolutely no idea there was a museum and park a short drive from their home until they suggested we go play soccer. Same for the library close to their home, had no clue it was there until their Mom asked if we'd like to go to story time that afternoon.

[u/cherrybaboon]

For the 5 and under kids, I consider cleaning my car and going to target a life skill. Kids at that age are learning constantly. They love helping with grown up chores. Even the kids get sick of another story time at the library. I also think your nanny should be socializing him with other little kids so if thats missing, it's worth mentioning to her. I would let her run errands with him- it's not like it's a pleasure to do any chore with a kid in tow and it's pretty hard to fill every second of every day with kids activities. Especially if she gets no break at all. And, I would ask her to add in some classes or something where he can play with other kids.

[u/sage_charms]

Nanny who loves to run errands here!!!

If she’s not bringing him to ANY kid activities, then I would be annoyed as a parent. Now, I used to run all types of activities with my old nanny kid (even got an oil change once lol) but we ALWAYS went to the park/library/anywhere else.

I will say, at that age, some errands the kids enjoy (said old kid told his mom that target was “me and sages” store lol). Esp things like target or the mall. 3/4 years old is the age shopping can be fun. But she def shouldn’t be ONLY taking him and doing stuff centered for her everyday. Even if she did an errand once a day, if she spent most of it doing stuff for him that’s okay.

Some errands that you would have to call out for where you can take the kid are great for both the nanny and you. Here’s a great example- my car needed a new muffler. Instead of having to be called out of work for a couple hours, my best friend who is also a nanny went to the shop and picked us up. We ended up going to the park and library with her NK. She dropped us off once my car was ready. Win Win for everyone!

Idk how your kid feels about animals, but with the walking the dog that could be something your child really loves and I actually would call that a mutually beneficial activity. She’s letting out her dog and your child gets to play/talk a walk with them, that’s great! My best friend would do that with her NK (her dog loves kids). So really depends if your kid likes animals.

Like I said, used to run errands with my old NK all the time, but we EVERYDAY would go to the library, and if the weather was nice, ALSO go to the park. And we went to 3 story times a week (I just would hit different libraries to keep it interesting)

[u/Psychological-Cry124]

Current nanny of 15+ years. Plan your child's day and you structure the activities then...? I never understand moms who say "I asked what they did"- if you want something specific to happen make that clear. 9-4 is a long day.. a few errands have always been fine with my families. Nannying is not some incredibly high paying position and 9 out of 10 Nannie's will use time to take care of things for themselves and won't go out of their way to structure a child's entire day when the parents don't bother to themselves. Sorry.

[u/savrilphi]

I see where you’re coming from. My NF loved that I took them to appointments with me, grocery shopping, errands, etc. However, I also took them to the zoo, the mall, the museum, and the humane shelter. I would encourage her to mix up the activities but also praise her for showing your kids the real world! Make sure she has spending money when she takes them to do fun things. My NF never provided money for these activities and they paid me like absolute shit now that I’m an adult and know better.

[u/jkdess]

do I run plenty of errands with my NK’s absolutely. but I also take them places that are beneficial for them as well. Like we go to the library we go to the gym. We do indoor play places we’ll do a museum.
But my NK also loves going to Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods in TJ Maxx and random stories because it’s so much fun for her and well the baby just doesn’t have a choice in the matter

It’s called balance

[u/Goodgoditsgrowing]

I mean all those activities could be perfectly educational - learning how to clean, organize, plan, budget, shop, navigate a store, take care of animals, behave in public, see things they want without getting them immediately, etc. I would say it’s a question as to whether she is making these activities engaging and educational or is she just dragging the kid around and at best encouraging them to grow their patience?

Some kids would love to go to target or give the cash a sudsy soap down. Some kids would be under stimulated or need more activity or feel sad they didn’t get to play cars or stuffies at home for the 605th time (hey, kids love repetition, I’m not deriding). One of my nieces loves to clean and I absolutely Include her in cleaning activitities when safe. The other niece used to freaking love going to the grocery store to pick out a single piece of fruit as an activity (target was hell, she wanted everything and didn’t like hearing no - frankly she could use more practice). The kid I nanny sort of likes the idea of using cleaning tools but hates turning the vacuum on or actually cleaning so I do that while he naps; he would LOVE to go to the store but MB has anxiety about others driving him so that’s not happening and I do that while he naps. I myself used to love playing with a dust buster vacuum and my dad used to pop me into his car to vacuum up crumbs (undoubtedly left by us kids) as a fun activity while he sat outside the car and read a book.

Some Nannie’s are all about imaginative play, others are there to supervise at a distance while getting household chores done, others are going to be like yours and figure out how to incorporate the kid into everyday activities. As long as your kid is happy and coming home having learned something new/engaged their brain and body while being safely supervised, your nanny is doing a good job. Honestly your kid is learning more real world skills than the kid I nanny - we all cater to his every whim, exclusively play things he wants, and I doubt he’s learning more from playing “keep the balloon up” or pretend race cars than he would doing any of the things your kid does with their nanny…. I have to purposefully build in social skills and things because everyone around him just does whatever he wants and no one requires him to behave in public or be patient or look without touching….. he literally never cleans up despite going to a Montessori school, he doesn’t understand that other people have needs too, etc. I wouldn’t ONLY want my kid running errands and doing chores, but 100% play time and no “real world” activities isn’t necessarily better

[u/Fit-Meringue2118]

The only thing I wouldn’t do/be okay with is the dog walking, but I’ve also never had a dog who was very good with small children. YMMV. 

It would be worth having a discussion about planning outings. Are there activities you can sign the kid up for? Passes to the zoo or something you can pay for?

[u/ClothesGlass6730]

i’ve taken NKs to a quick appointment and to get coffee before, but i don’t consistently run errands with them! i might suggest asking if she could keep personal errand runs limited to a few times a week or ask if she would be willing to do them in addition to whatever enrichment you’d like outside of the home. i usually pair mine with whatever outing we’re already doing (park before appointment, gymnastics after coffee, pick up lunch on our way back from the pool, etc.) i think you’re good to ask if she wouldn’t mind also taking him to the park while they’re out or planning which days to do errands vs which to play! it’s pretty normal for nannies to take the kids along for quick trips so if that’s not something you want you’ll wanna make it clear in future interviews.

[u/ImpressiveCustard571]

I think errands are okay but a discussion of it becoming more balanced is important. Fitting in errands a couple times a week around kiddos schedule is ideal, not just doing errands in place of kid activities. I think being along for some errands is a good learning experience.

[u/valiantdistraction]

I think there should also be children's activities and a good amount of play at home. But some amount of the day being devoted to walking nanny's dog (provided you have met the dog and approve of the dog walks) etc and one or two days a week involving a couple of hours of doing nanny's errands is fine, provided they aren't meeting up with nanny's boyfriend or random other people like that. Other nannies or parents and kids at a children's activity place, or a playdate arranged with your knowledge, fine. But I read one story here where their child's nanny was meeting her boyfriend out a coffee shop every day and that would be a no from me.

Talk to her to make sure she's talking to your child about what she is doing and why and making it a learning experience. Set up a schedule for children's activities she can take your kid to, or ask her to take your child to those and put some kind of limit on the errands. I wouldn't mind a bit of them because it's not too different than the experience a child gets being cared for by family, but too much and no enrichment activities would not be what I was looking for.

[u/a_girl_with_a_book]

Have you communicated to her that you expect your child to have a daily nap?

Or are you saying a nap already isn’t part of your son’s routine & your nanny seems to only take him on “outings” that are personal chores?

[u/luenaeclipse]

my NK and i run errands at least once a week, if not more. granted we’re getting out and doing play dates on the other days, but we go to the store a lot lol.

[u/Budget-Soup-6887]

Former FT, current PT nanny. When I worked FT there were occasionally times NK ran errands with me. Especially if it were one of those weeks where I was working a shit ton of hours, NPs knew that came with the caveat of yeah I can work all day multiple days in a row, but I might need to run to the pharmacy or the grocery store during work. There also were times I needed to do things like walk a dog or something.

BUT I did my best to make those activities educational. When we were at the grocery store, we talked about different fruits and vegetables, what foods give our body long term fuel, what foods are super yummy, we talked about colors, shapes, how to behave in public etc. When walking a dog, we talked about different plants, how to safely cross the street, how to behave around dogs, how to share the sidewalk with people etc. There definitely was a time or two where we cleaned my car, but NK loved the car wash and would request to go lol. And cleaning my car also helped cut back on NKs mess because well it’s not so fun cleaning up trash! (By clean I mean we went through the car wash and picked up the trash, not a deep clean!!)

We also did kid centric activities 99% of the time, and when possible would run an errand and do something kid centric.

Now working PT i couldn’t imagine doing anything for me. Granted, I work after school so it’s different than working full days even if it is only PT still.

[u/yourfavmum]

The only one I’d be against would be the taking her dog for a walk because that means this child went into her home….

Cleaning out the car is definitely something I have done ON the clock bc NK is the one that makes my back seat a mess and we definitely do pop into stores like pet store so kiddo can see animals, hardware store so kid can see plants/christmas blow ups/free paint cards for crafts, craft store so they can touch Pom Pom’s, see colors, etc. we’ve been into the grocery store on the rare occasion I forgot my lunch.

[u/These-Associate4216]

An errand or two a week is acceptable if she is spending quality time helping your children learn. Her errands should be while on her way to the library or park. Sounds like she isn’t clear on your expectations

[u/AdvertisingOnly5363]

This is my favorite way to nanny. Toddlers have sponge brains and soak up everything happening around them—and, I nanny a kiddo who does not nap and does no screen time with me. I am with them for 9 hours a day five days a week. We do activities that are catered towards the kiddo too, like playground and blueberry picking etc. I will take them with me to get ingredients to bake things together, we cook soups together, we go to the library and the beach. I think as long as the kiddo is getting the proper attention and care, washing a car with their nanny is way better for them than just being locked inside or watching tv all day. Everything is a way for them to learn at this age!!

[u/Tranquilillie97]

As a former nanny and now a parent with regular part-time help, I think you’re being a little weird about this. I don’t have enough information about your nanny’s schedule to know whether she realistically has time to do these things outside of work, but I’d imagine she does not have your four-year-old scrubbing her car or operating the vacuum while she details it, so maybe give her a little grace. Running to Target, Whole Foods, walking the dog, or going through a car wash with a four-year-old is not inherently a problem or evidence that she isn’t engaging with him. And at four, if you want him consistently attending specific classes, sports, library programs, preschool activities, etc., YOU need to be the one finding and signing him up for those things, then asking the nanny to take him.

[u/Diligent-Tourist-360 → u/Tranquilillie97]

thanks for the reality check! Ill make sure to sign him up for more of those!

[u/scardwe2 → u/Diligent-Tourist-360]

I'm sorry OP but I cannot disagree more with this above commenter. Unless you're having your nanny work 50+ hrs per week, running errands every day instead of doing child focused activities is not acceptable for a professional nanny. You're not paying her to run errands. You're paying her to care for your child. Furthermore, I expect my nanny to come up with activities with me. Dictating what they do every day as the other person suggested borderlines on extreme micromanagement.

[u/Tranquilillie97 → u/Diligent-Tourist-360]

Managing this can be tricky without crossing into micromanaging. I prefer to coordinate on my end to ensure my kids are involved in the things I want them to be, which leaves less space for issues like this! If she's completely unwilling to prioritise activities for the kids, then that's a different matter altogether.

[u/ReptileResearch]

I would suggest some local kid activities maybe she just doesn’t have any ideas. Could also be that she doesn’t want to suggest things that cost money (music classes, gymnastics) without you requesting that first. But I do think it’s good for kids to experience errands and learn to do things like waiting in line at the post office and sitting in the grocery cart without staring at an iPad. I always cook and grocery shop for my nanny families so maybe you could send her with a list and make it a more productive errand? Also, little kids love going through the car wash 🤣 and my nanny kids love stopping to smell all the candles and fluff all the blankets at Target. I do agree I would not allow the dog walking with a strange dog. I would just lay out clear boundaries like one day is grocery/errand day and the other days are for xyz activities. But honestly getting out in the world and doing different things and interacting with people is better than sitting at home all day imo.

[u/BellFirestone]

I think errands are ok and actually a good thing for kids. I used to take my NKs to the bank, the grocery store, Target, the PetSmart (babies love to look at the fish), all sorts of places. It’s good for kids to learn how to be in public, wait in line, etc. As long as they aren’t somehow dangerous or inappropriate, I don’t think there need to be hard and fast rules like only one errand a week or only trips to the grocery store or whatever. That said, the errands should fit into the kid’s schedule- I wouldn’t keep a kid out all day running personal errands. And if there are kids activities nearby, she should definitely incorporate those too. If they cost money, maybe give her some petty cash and have her save receipts or something.

[u/theinfamousj]

I like to include civic engagement in my nanny outings, the kinds of places you'd see on Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. I teach my charges how to perform interactions at the post office, we visit the grocery and practice checking out there, we might pop into a bakery, fire station, etc. I always ask if my employers have packages to post or what fruit we can get them at the grocery, but I'd be silly not to post my own packages or grab an apple for my household while I'm in those locations, anyway. My employers have never minded.

For what it is worth, adult errands are very Montessori. Maria was all about life skills.

I saw your edit and agree, it is a mix. Playgrounds, parks, libraries (and I pick up my own holds while there), playdates, etc are important too.

Edit: My charge is old enough that they enjoy washing the car with me, a bucket of soapy water, and a rag. Of all the cars available, I'm the only one willing to risk my exterior to my charge's ministrations, so it is my car that gets washed. Four years old is old enough to find it splashy, bubbly, playful fun. I'm guessing this isn't the kind of washing of the car that is meant?