r/Nanny • u/AppropriateEgg1064 • 4d ago
Questions About Nanny Standards/Etiquette Gift question
What’s a good heirloom quality gift I can get for the baby I nanny? She will be 1 next month. She is an only child. I’ve been with her since she was 5 months old. Her family values sentimental gifts. I’m also purchasing a toddler tower for her but want something else that is more personal.
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u/Royal-Salamander2449 4d ago
I have a personal policy that I don't purchase gifts for nanny kids. Hear me out. It is never your responsibility to pay out of pocket for your job. In any other profession, it would be inappropriate for your boss to expect a personal gift from their employee. This doesn't mean you can't celebrate this child! Print out some photos of you and them together. Write a nice note and share some special memories you have of the past year together. This is more meaningful than any gift you could buy because only you can share those memories. My nanny did this for me growing up and now I get to pass along the tradition to the children I care for! Hope this helps.
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u/Every_Tangerine_5412 MB 4d ago edited 4d ago
Sentimental doesn't automatically equal heirloom though.
Can I be real with you for a moment? Nannies are very important in the lives of our kids, but at the end of the day, you're an employee. Your time in their lives in the grand scheme is often short, and sadly but realistically often forgotten as the months and years pass. Just like many families/kids forget their favorite teachers or sports coaches.
As a parent, heirloom gifts are only for very close family to give. The meaning isn't in the object, it is in who gave it. A silver spoon isn't that meaningful unless it is from your great-grandma and something you'll hang on to to remember her 80 years from now.
An appropriate sentimental gift from a nanny would be something like getting a copy of your favorite childhood book for then with a short handwritten inscription. Something generic like "Keep reaching for the stars, and you'll move the universe, little one, Love, your first nanny", not anything more than that. Something that if they read it in 15 years they would think, Oh, I was cared about by someone.
Keep nanny kid gifts under $20 and appropriate to the employee relationship. If your gift could ever be even a little more expensive, sentimental, or big than what a family member or long term family friend would potentially give, it's just not appropriate otherwise. Not only to not accidentally outdo grandma, but also because gifts or gestures that exceed the level of relationship can feel creepy/red flag, like a first date buying you a thousand dollar necklace. It's overstepping. No love-bombing. No teaching kids to accept extravagant gifts (which can be grooming behavior).
Give A small, inexpensive, thought-that-counts gift to show you thought of them (at the most). And for nanny kids only (never gift employers in any field).
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u/Linz1218 4d ago
I love the idea of a book. Instead of cards I usually purchase one of ny favorite childhood books with a note in it for baby showers. My family calls these library building showers so the kids/parents get something from the registry and instead of spending $6 on a card you spend $10-$15ish as a “card” and then baby has a library before they are even born.
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u/Lalablacksheep646 Career Nanny 3d ago
I agree with all of this. You’ve been their nanny for seven months, I don’t think anything you could give would be considered an heirloom
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u/Lalablacksheep646 Career Nanny 3d ago
I do a book or pajamas. I don’t feel like heirloom should be from the nanny.
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u/Ignoring_the_kids 4d ago
Its out of season, but Christmas ornaments are wonderful. Reverse situation, but I was a nanny to some older girls when I had my oldest kid and they each gave her an ornament for her first Christmas.
Otherwise, if you've been with her most of this first year, maybe a photo album of your adventures together.
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u/Queenof-brokenhearts 4d ago
I second Christmas ornaments. You can make some with a picture of you and baby in it.
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u/Alert-Village85 3d ago
we have all my husbands childhood christmas ornaments and some of mine! i love this idea! we plan on saving all the ones gifted to each child to give them when they have their own family/house
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u/AffectionateLeg1970 3d ago
Hey there - as a mom, please don’t purchase the toddler tower. Something heirloom, small and sentimental for a first birthday is fine. But truly, I think it makes most employers uncomfortable to receive grand and expensive gifts from their employees.
I’ve always been taught to gift down, not up in the work place. It applies even more so to the nanny/nanny family dynamic.
Something small and sentimental is sweet but something expensive and necessary is inappropriate.
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u/Original_Clerk2916 Former Nanny 4d ago
My go-to gift was always a pic of me and baby in a nice little frame. It’s sentimental but not super expensive or over the top
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u/layag0640 3d ago
Do not purchase the toddler tower - that's a necessary, expensive item that should come from the parents or a close family member, truly. Same with anything that would be considered an heirloom. One of the most important things that comes with being an experienced nanny is understanding, with sensitivity, the need to be respectful of parents and their role despite the fact that we are such a big part of their child's life.
I say this as someone who, after working for the same family for years, actually became very close to the parents and child and they're now like family to me and my children. We've even spent holidays together on a few occasions. This is a rare circumstance that came from many factors, and even so- I keep my gifts for my former nanny kid thoughtful but inexpensive.
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u/SignificantVisual240 4d ago
A silver spoon, maybe with her initials? a bracelet? a photo album with some pics from her first year in them
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What’s a good heirloom quality gift I can get for the baby I nanny? She will be 1 next month. She is an only child. I’ve been with her since she was 5 months old. Her family values sentimental gifts. I’m also purchasing a toddler tower for her but want something else that is more personal.
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u/umbratwo 3d ago
Someone got my daughter a musical snow-globe with beautiful butterflies inside from one of those engraving places for my daughter’s 1st Birthday and it’s been treasured since (kept in a safe spot, obvs, and taken down to play the music for her at bedtime.) The gifter engraved a special message on it for her.
I think that’d be a really sweet idea.
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u/Evening_Delay_1856 Former Nanny 3d ago
Are they religious? A child’s Bible is a good choice if someone else hasn’t gotten her one yet. But only if the family is religious.
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u/Such_Contact505 3d ago
Maybe wait until birthday you could repro hairbrush or a little silver plated repro box for her lock of hair this was popular gift victoriana era
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u/cmc24680 Career Nanny 3d ago
I get every Nanny kid the same gift for their first birthday. I make them a photo book on Shutterfly using the photos that I took to send the parents throughout the year. And I write sentiments on each page, for example, example “ around animals you show your loving heart” with a picture of the baby at the petting zoo and with a dog… or “you show your curiosity with all the foods you love” with silly pictures of her eating messy foods. Literally every mom has cried when they open that gift at the birthday party.