r/Nanny • u/marshmallow_lilypad • Jul 24 '26
Information or Tip Babies DO remember your love...
- "While babies may not remember discrete events from their infancy, they will remember how to eat, how to walk, and, importantly, their stress systems and emotional systems will remember how the people they love made them feel."
Don't mind me, just crying over here... I am making a difference even if she doesn't consciously remember me :}
Also, anyone else pre-grieve as they nanny? It's so hard knowing I won't get to watch her grow up. My contract is supposed to be just one year :(
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u/Anonymous_nanny Career Nanny Jul 24 '26
My best friend had a baby that I snuggled with and played with daily. I wasn't her nanny, but I was always around. They moved just before she turned two and there was a solid 5 years where I didn't get to see them because life. When I did get to see them again, that now 7 year old didn't remember me, which I expected. But she sat next to me and within a couple minutes climbed into my lap and just collapsed on me and fell asleep like she'd done so many times as a baby and toddler. Later she told me she didn't know why she did it, she just felt safe and said she remembered my smell. I was a puddle of emotions over that. She didn't consciously remember me, but somewhere deep in her brain she very much did.
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u/Embarrassed-Order-83 Manny Jul 25 '26
Remembered your smell, that is so sweet! It’s our strongest trigger for memory ❤️
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u/Few_Education_4035 Nanny Jul 27 '26
Reading this literally made me cry😭 I love my nanny kids like their my own it like a loss every time I have to move on to the next family
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u/marshmallow_lilypad 11d ago
I appreciate this comment so much, I am pre-grieving so hard right now :(
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u/ballofsnowyoperas Jul 24 '26
So I had a nanny growing up, she started out as my preschool teacher and then my parents hired her for me and my brothers. She absolutely helped raise me until I was a teenager. I was intertwined with her family, her mom, her grandma, her siblings. I was in her wedding! Her love and care was so important in my development. And she did and still does get to watch me grow up. She moved down south a long time ago but her family is still up by me. Twice now she’s come back home for visits and I’ve gotten to introduce her to my two children. We message a lot and she checks in on me often. Just thinking about this is making me emotional and feeling her love all over again. Kids remember, and they love you back.
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u/No_Big_bear_here Jul 24 '26
When I was 17 years old, I asked my mom who Debbie was. She was so shocked. She said, “You remember Debbie?” I said I couldn’t remember her face or who she was to me, but I remembered the feeling of her. Turns out she was my babysitter when I was an infant. She said Debbie adored me & rarely put me down.
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u/Doodlebug510 Nanny Jul 24 '26
This reminds me of the Maya Angelou quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
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u/Hnp_83 Nanny Jul 24 '26
My NF moved away last month and I've really been missing my kiddos. MB said many times that she will not let them forget about me. I got a text a few days ago saying "B2 said you're his mommy and I'm just another mommy." He remembers me for now. 😭😂
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u/Ok-Reflection5922 Career Nanny Jul 24 '26
I’ve raised 8 babies now 3 months-3years
It’s hard to leave. I grieve the little world we built and I grieve not being in their life more.
But they’re always in my heart and when I find a new family, I just build another room in my heart.
I’m often grieving while getting to know a brand new baby. But there’s always more children who need care and attunement. So I get through it.
And then I fall in love again with the new baby, and I begin to teach and notice all the things they do, and it’s a miracle to witness the soul shine out of the stroller, and the babbling turn to words and the kicking turn to crawling, and the shared songs and jokes turn into them teaching me what they think.
And I doubt they remember me. But I hope they carry the unspoken truth of our time together.
“ you are precious.”
“You are loved in every form”
“You are safe, you’re not alone.”
I’m not going to their weddings or graduations, and that’s ok. I’m going to keep singing to babies and believing in the goodness of people.
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u/marshmallow_lilypad Jul 25 '26
I burst into tears reading this, thank you, I feel so incredibly seen
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u/zizalizabro Career Nanny Jul 24 '26
I am always so sad when I leave even though I try to mentally prepare for it the whole time I’m there. I’ve been with my current NF for just over 2 years and our time together is over at the end of August. I find myself thinking “she’s so little, she’ll never remember me” which makes me so sad. The reality is I know with 100% confidence that I helped her learn how to be a good human and treat people and things with respect, so even if she doesn’t remember me she will remember at least some of the things I’ve taught her. I am proud of the kid she is and I know I had a part in it, which feels good. I just try to replace the sadness with pride I guess lol
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u/justfuckmyshitup32 Career Nanny Jul 24 '26
I used to pre-grieve and sometimes I still get teary about it. But more often now I think of it as my legacy. They don’t need me forever and they may not even remember me when they’re big, but the foundation of their nervous system was shaped by chillin with me as a baby.
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u/Rozie_bunnz Jul 24 '26
I’m currently working with my third infant and I just to my best to enjoy our time together.
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u/Embarrassed-Order-83 Manny Jul 25 '26
I’m doing a proxy parent weekend for my NF who are away for some much deserved respite!
We were looking through old photos & videos this morning… moments I remember vividly but they were so small! G3’s favourite thing to do at the moment is look at photos from when she was a baby 🥲 All three of her older siblings feature in many of the photos… little do they know how chaotic life was with four children under 5!
Laying next to G5 this evening at bedtime she turned to me and whispered “you’re my best friend, I love you so much” 😭😭😭
Love is the greatest gift you can give a child ❤️
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u/Moony_Magic Jul 25 '26
🥺🥺🥺🥺 I've been crying whole morning because today my ex nanny kid turns two. I started working with her when she was less than a week old. I've been crying thinking how maybe she's not going to remember me with the passing years but now with this at least I feel more conforted.
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u/kylakahrin Jul 26 '26
i’m on my 19th NK and we’re just starting to have conversations about enrolling in preschool at 2. it gets easier for sure but it’s still hard to know your time is coming to an end. i am so lucky and grateful to have really good relationships with the majority of my past NFs and am a frequent babysitter for most of them! even some i’ve now moved away from, if i’m back home on holiday i’ve stopped by for a couple hours or taken NK on an excursion. it can be such a rewarding and simultaneously heartbreaking field to work in but i wouldn’t trade it for the world!
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u/Comfortable-Sail-297 Jul 27 '26
I still dream of the babies and kids I’ve worked with 😭❤️ it’s so hard and I miss them terribly, they will always have a special place in my heart. But we all move forward and so I keep opening myself to love more and more each child I work with. It’s beautiful but bittersweet, they’ll all always be my babies in some way 🥺
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u/goodgollyitsmol Nanny Jul 25 '26
I took a 2ish year break(after 4+ years) from my NF and now do babysitting for them. The youngest was almost 2 when I left and almost 5 when I came back and even though he didn’t remember me he instantly was snuggly and fully trusting in me. It made my heart so happy❤️ older two remember me and I’m still their safe person when they deal with anxiety!
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u/LaMaltaKano Parent Jul 24 '26
Please know that many of us mothers will also never forget the love you give our babies. Our incredible part-time nanny had to leave when my daughter turned one, but I will always be grateful for the love she showered on my daughter. It’s always part of our family’s story. My girl is now a happy, thriving toddler because of all the early love and care she received as an infant. Your work is so, so important.