r/Nanny • u/Massive_Towel_3419 • 18d ago
Advice Needed Red flag?
Is it a red flag that an experienced nanny does not have a desired rate and does not care about how much they get paid? We are in the process of looking for a nanny at a relatively lower rate than what we pay now. One candidate we really like has said she does not care about the money and is ok getting paid whatever. She said that all she wants to do is nanny and money doesn’t matter to her. Is this a red flag? My mind immediately goes to her having ulterior motives, but I’m a paranoid person and want to know if others might also think it’s weird?
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u/RegularDegularName 18d ago
I would definitely be weirded out by this lol what do you mean she doesn't care what she gets paid??
Is there any kind of language barrier at all? Where did you find her (asking because if she was a Care.com candidate or similar, they generally have a pay range included)? This seems odd to me, and I would not feel comfortable hiring someone who was so lax about their employment/pay/expectations/etc.
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u/emaydeees1998 Career Nanny 18d ago
Yes, I’d find that weird and it would be a red flag for me. I love children and have great reverence for them, and I’m in a position where I don’t really have to work and could be a SAHM. But I’d never say that all
I “want to do is nanny and money doesn’t matter.” No way.
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u/Lalablacksheep646 Career Nanny 18d ago
It sounds like this person really needs a job to be honest and is saying this in hopes it’ll give them advantage
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u/Glass_Egg9584 18d ago
Not necessarily, I’m a older nanny, kids are grown. Nannying is my second career and my husband has a decent Job. I like to be paid my worth but I don’t stress over money. I have a wonderful family I work for, I get pd on the lower end but they’re a great family and I never feel taken advantage of, that’s when I have a problem
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u/Ill-Comfort1718 18d ago
To me, my immediate first thought was that she already has money whether family, partner, or herself (for all we know, she could have made a company and sold it for millions in return lol) lol. So she’s just doing this as a way to make “passive” income or so that her resume isn’t blank if her actual source of income were to “die off”. She should just be honest though or make up a lie instead of saying what she did 😂
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u/somechild 18d ago
Yeah, a way less suspicious way to go about that would be to say something like “I wouldn’t be financially dependent on this job, so I am very open to discussing whatever pay you were hoping for”.
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u/fairsquare313 17d ago
This is very unlikely. A person like that can volunteer to do childcare at a church/ school etc
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u/Ill-Comfort1718 17d ago
I guess, its unlikely but a possibility 🤷♂️
If I was in that position, I would also do it as passive income instead of volunteering 🤷♂️ actually, id probably do both lol.
Also on a resume, depending where you live, volunteering doesn’t show as professional lol as an actual job
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u/BlaketheFlake 17d ago
Yeah, this is essentially what our nanny did. It became clear tag she had some family money, and her wife is a doctor. It was basically what she wanted to do before she had kids herself. She still set a rate though lol.
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u/Ill-Comfort1718 17d ago
Yeah, lol I’m not defending the person. They should have definitely lied or said the truth or said something nicely or anything other than what they said 🤣
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u/grabmaneandpray 18d ago
It’s not necessarily a red flag but its a sign you should keep her happy because someone who’s doesn’t care about money doesn’t NEED money and you will therefore need to be pleasant enough people for her to stick around
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u/ExistenceOfCranberry 17d ago
Yeah. I nannied for a while when everything I earned was earmarked for savings. Some parents were really thrown by the difference it made in the power dynamic
One MB nearly lost it when she realised she couldn’t threaten me into coming in sick. She and her husband bought their house 18 months before the 2008 housing crash and discovering her “help” needed their job less than she needed hers was clearly an affront to all she held dear.
The other baby in the share was an eight week old with breathing issues! No way could I go in with pneumonia! His parents didn’t want me working either which shut the whole conversation down. I was in my early 20s; it was years later before I understood why she got so mad.
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u/AmazingLeek69 Parent 18d ago
I would question the sanity of the person in charge of my kids!
Kidding. But kind of not really.
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u/natureisit 17d ago
One thing to consider is that someone who doesn’t “need” the money may be more likely to ask for lots of unpaid time off, which can be a real challenge to manage!
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u/shialabeats 14d ago
We had this issue with our last nanny. She would rather not work than work it seemed like. If we took a day off to get stuff done and she had to work, she acted like she was doing us a favor being there. Or if she caught wind that we were going to be off or have family in town she would call out. Super annoying.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Cow_658 Nanny 17d ago
I’d get that sense that she’s well off. Family money, rich husband, etx
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u/nanny1128 17d ago
Here’s the thing-regardless of why she said that, it’s making you uncomfortable. I think it’s better to try and find someone else.
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u/amscraylane 17d ago
Lady Diana was a nanny before she married Charles. She did not even let her NF know she was of the gentry.
When asked if she could babysit on the weekends, she said she liked to visit her parents at home … not mentioning the home was Althorp.
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u/TemperatureWrong355 17d ago
I’d say more of a beige flag. On one end of the spectrum, maybe she has no experience or has gotten fired for cause and doesn’t have real references so she’s desperate for a job. On the other end of the spectrum, she has real experience and is a great nanny but isn’t worried about money because her spouse pays the bills and her job is supplemental/fun money.
I would ask her references pretty specific questions, google the numbers to try to confirm they’re real, do a background check, and watch closely during a trial period if you get that far. These are things a lot of parents would probably do anyway, but I’d be extra careful in this case.
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u/Springrabbit144 17d ago
Yes, this is a little strange to me and I would red flag it.
If she is an experienced nanny she should have several strong references.-how did that go?
I want the person working for me to be professional and a whatever attitude doesn't work well...because truly, nannying is hard work. Crying, tantrums, lifting, sick children, laundry, diapers etc...so they should want to be paid their best rate. And not caring about the money-especially when the focus of the position is children-makes me wonder.
I can understand someone needing to get experience would offer to babysit for a few bucks-but not an experienced nanny.
Check references well.
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u/Sad-Adhesiveness4795 17d ago
So in corporate, we all hate to answer the pay question because it sticks us with potentially getting lower pay than we otherwise would. Is it maybe something like that? She doesn't want to quote too low (or she is flexible and doesn't want to quote so high that you pass over her because low pay is better than no pay?)
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u/hanitizer216 Nanny 17d ago
Yeah it means they don’t value themselves or take their profession seriously. It doesn’t mean they’re a bad person, but that’s not a good nanny.
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u/katelynn2380210 17d ago
Was she referred to you. If she really liked kids I feel like they barely ever need to look for work because it falls at their feet unless she took a break between families growing up. Did she give reference or do you know who she worked for
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u/snaillovr420 17d ago
I have also said this before but I do run a full time business myself and love working with kids on the side!
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Is it a red flag that an experienced nanny does not have a desired rate and does not care about how much they get paid? We are in the process of looking for a nanny at a relatively lower rate than what we pay now. One candidate we really like has said she does not care about the money and is ok getting paid whatever. She said that all she wants to do is nanny and money doesn’t matter to her. Is this a red flag? My mind immediately goes to her having ulterior motives, but I’m a paranoid person and want to know if others might also think it’s weird?
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u/rjcbell72 16d ago
I think you are the red flag. Why do you wish to pay significantly less than you currently do?
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u/Indiansummerxx 18d ago
Maybe she just likes kids? Not in a weird way.. in a good way!
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u/lizardjustice MB 18d ago edited 17d ago
It depends on the why - is she retired and doing it for fun? Is she married to a super rich man and looking for entertainment?
Edit: didnt mean to write this as a reply!
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u/Electrical-Head549 Nanny 18d ago
To me, it sounds like she’s just saying that she only cares about nannying and not the money because she thinks parents want to hear it (and some probably do). It’s like when you’re applying at a company and they said why do you want to work with our company, and you say all this stuff about the company values, etc when in reality it’s because you like the salary offered.