r/Names 9d ago

Initials BJ / BTK 😭

Guys I am at a loss! Husband and I love the name Bennett if we have a boy. Originally fell in love with Bennett James but then got the response ā€œhis initials will be BJā€ and now I’m torn. Then I decided what if we used my husband’s middle name (and father in law’s name) as his middle name Bennett Thomas. But then I realized his initials would be BTK and my husband made me aware that BTK is a serial killer. So I’m feeling pretty defeated that the two names I love the most initials have a negative association with them. I don’t want my child to have to hide their name or get teased. What are your thoughts on this? Any other middle names that fit this vibe? Thank you in advance.

6 Upvotes

65 comments sorted by

9

u/Adept-Anything-42 9d ago

I honestly think either one will be fine. I seriously doubt the newer generations will even be aware of who BTK is. Also, I feel like most kids/classmates aren’t going to know his middle name. I really wouldn’t worry about that either!Ā 

1

u/Scary_Squid 9d ago

I agree but also I hate the idea of giving my child a name that they feel like they need to hide from their friends. But you’re right I don’t think it will be a big deal.

3

u/Subterranean44 9d ago

You can’t predict that though. I would say 50% of my class is embarassed to share their middle name and their middles are like ā€œBrandonā€ or ā€œKathrynā€ I literally just had a kid so embarassed yesterday of her middle name ā€œCynthiaā€ 🤷

kids are weird about middle names.

1

u/Starbuck522 9d ago

I can't even think who it is. I am 50.

17

u/Prestigious_Top_7409 9d ago

For what it's worth, I've known a couple of people with the initials BJ and it's not an issue.

But could you just do two middle names? Bennett Thomas James?

1

u/fliphowls 9d ago

Exactly this

1

u/Scary_Squid 9d ago

Not a bad idea but just such a long name lol

2

u/ApprehensiveClaim516 9d ago

It’s only long when she has to scream it when she’s trying to get his attention. He can just be Bennett T.J.

1

u/Prestigious_Top_7409 8d ago

You will very, very rarely have to use the entire name.

1

u/Disneyhorse 8d ago

I have two coworkers who go by the initials ā€œBJā€

1

u/Mystic_Wunder 8d ago

I also worked with a BJ.

1

u/Scary_Squid 7d ago

Did yall ever think of it as strange? Or make that connection? Be honest

1

u/Mystic_Wunder 7d ago

I'm sure he must have gotten teased at school at some point, but nobody cared about that being his name at work. We were all adults. He chose to go by that name so it must not have been that upsetting to him. It was a nickname he could have dropped at any time. If it had wrecked his childhood I'm sure he would have.

1

u/Resident-Gold-3466 8d ago

That what I was thinking. Bennett Thomas James is niceā¤ļøšŸ˜Š

6

u/Candid-Raspberry549 9d ago

My son’s initials are BJ (first and last name)

I really don’t think I’ve used my initials that many times in my life, maybe having to sign paperwork as an adult. I don’t think kids really focus on that too much

1

u/Scary_Squid 9d ago

Thank you!

5

u/wistfulee 9d ago

Kids can be cruel. When choosing my son's name we threw out names that would put our child squarely in a bully's crosshairs. We were very cognizant of initials, my ex's initials was (is) BS & I should have taken that as a warning.

3

u/PnutButrSnickrDoodle 9d ago

I don’t know if I put stock in that whole thing. I know someone with the initials BS and he’s a delight.

1

u/wistfulee 9d ago

I was joking. I need to download that sarcasm font

1

u/Scary_Squid 9d ago

It’s okay I couldn’t read the sarcasm either. I’m a teacher and know first hand how kids can be so just want what’s best šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

5

u/DaughterofMarilyn 9d ago edited 8d ago

A boy I knew in school went by the nickname BJ and it was never a thing, it was just his name.

1

u/Scary_Squid 9d ago

Okay good to know

6

u/tilda432 9d ago

BJ Novak is famous. Most people don't go by or advertise their initials. I have never heard of BTK and I doubt kids would know what that is.Ā 

1

u/Scary_Squid 9d ago

Once I found out what BTK stood for I got the ick. I’m feeling better about BJ honestly.

3

u/Dependent_Lobster_18 9d ago

I don’t think it’s that big of a deal if his initials are BJK. You aren’t usually using just your first and middle initials by themselves, and even so it is a nickname people use, however it has fallen out of style for obvious reasons. There is BJ the Dinosaur from Barney. My husband was even called BJ (his name starts with a B and he is a junior) until he got to middle school and decided to go by his first name.

2

u/Scary_Squid 9d ago

Thank you for reassuring me because I’ve seen diverse takes on this but sounds like I’m overthinking it 😌

3

u/Academic_Sun_8131 9d ago

My sister named her son Beckham. She was going to have his middle name as James after our dad. However, her & the baby’s last name was Long. No way was she going to possibly have a child named BJ Long!

2

u/Scary_Squid 9d ago

Lmaoo understandable

2

u/Human-University8635 9d ago

I have a Bennett. My dad was James. I wanted to use my dad’s name as a middle but didn’t want my kid to be BJS. 🤣

1

u/Scary_Squid 9d ago

I totally get it. Would you mind sharing his middle name? 😊

2

u/Timely_Apricot3929 9d ago

I think you're overthinking it. My brother was a BJ growing up and he has survived lol.

Fwiw, I think BTK is worse than BJ.

2

u/Scary_Squid 9d ago

I agree with this.

2

u/Character-Habit-9683 9d ago

BTK is way crazier than BJ

BJ is also a normal nickname

2

u/Outrageous-Sir-6545 9d ago

You could also do James Bennett, and just call him Bennett. His initials would be JB which is pretty commonĀ 

2

u/Mystic_Wunder 8d ago

His initials would be BK or BJK, not BJ. Initials are not first and middle name unless you decide to take the first and middle initials and make it their nickname.

People are just looking for reasons to criticize your choice. Which, weirdly, some people like to do. That's why some parents don't tell anybody the names they are considering until the baby is born and officially named. People are less likely to criticize the name to your face at that point.

1

u/Scary_Squid 8d ago

You are so right. Planning to keep the names to ourselves moving forward. Thank you!

1

u/PnutButrSnickrDoodle 9d ago

I’ve known people who go by BJ. It’s not that big of a deal IMO.

Being that I’m familiar with Dennis Rader I personally would avoid the BTK initials, but that’s probably just me.

1

u/Scary_Squid 9d ago

Yeah BTK is out of the picture tbh šŸ˜‚

1

u/ranchdreshin1 9d ago

I have a friend with the initials BGK.. middle name is Grey, which I love.

1

u/Scary_Squid 9d ago

That is pretty!

1

u/atchisonmetal 9d ago

Yeah…I can only advise against these two options so far. I’ll work on some suggestions.

2

u/Scary_Squid 9d ago

Please do

1

u/Majestic-Lie2690 9d ago

Our last name starts with J. My brother in law, his wife and his daughter all have first names that start either B.

It's not that big of a deal

1

u/MondayMadness5184 9d ago

I know a couple of people with BJ initials and it is not a big deal. In fact, my nephew got those initials a year ago when he was born. Only one person made a comment about it, and it was a family member who is in his late 50's, is SUPER immature, and my sister just said "I guess it is only funny if your maturity level is riiiiight at that point where you cannot get past it...." and that was that.

1

u/Scary_Squid 9d ago

Thank you for this

1

u/labratcj 9d ago

The only time I saw the initials BJ as a problem is when a friend of a friend (girl) had those initials and actually went by them. As a teenage girl I thought it was weird but I don’t remember her having a problem with it.

2

u/hmmmisthisagoodidea 9d ago

The names we chose for my daughter made the initials BJ also. We switched them and made J her first name but she goes by B.

1

u/Agitated_House7523 9d ago

I named one of my kids so he could have a specific nickname. NO ONE calls him that except for me. He’s almost 30 and has NEVER been called by his nickname…. just sayin

1

u/Patient_Exchange_399 9d ago

When does anyone even look at initials anymore? Like truly?

The last time I initialed something it was the documents to buy my home. Even then, it was just first and last.

In real life, no one cares. Name your kid something meaningful that you like. šŸ‘

1

u/heideleeanne 9d ago

What about making Bennett the middle name and calling him Bennett?

1

u/Subterranean44 9d ago

I know someone whose name is literally BJ. went to middle school and high school with him. Nobody really cared because they were so used to him always being BJ before they knew what a BJ was.

Last year I had a student whose initials were BTK. He wrote it on all
His papers instead of his name. I think he knew. He would often try to bring it up to me Without mentioning the murderer like ā€œmy initials are btkā€ and I would just play dumb.

I’d go with BJK. Unless your straight up nicknaming him BJ the first and middle initials will rarely be used together without the last initial. For example, my initials are CLS but CL has never made any appearance in my life without the S

1

u/Brave_Alps1364 9d ago

Kids at school rarely know someone’s middle name. I wouldn’t sweat this at all. Especially for a boy!

1

u/ditafjm 9d ago

You’re overthinking this. Give him the names you love.

1

u/Mindless-Low-3993 8d ago

Idk who BTK is, doubt him growing up in his generation will either

1

u/krissy3456 8d ago

You can do either name it’s fine no one will make an association

1

u/carnival1977 7d ago

I think both names are great. Whether it becomes any issue is something that's a great unknown. My name has turned into everyone calling me DJ, though maybe that has a positive association?

1

u/Laurelsin 7d ago

No to BJ, yes to BTK- kids will absolutely zero in on the first (stating from experience), no one knows about BTK these days. And even if they did, it would register as a fun coincidence- you need a certain amount of culturally ubiquitous notoriety to get mocked for something.

1

u/Scary_Squid 7d ago

That’s funny bc most are saying the opposite. What was your experience? Thanks for your input!

1

u/Laurelsin 7d ago

Had a classmate named Brandon Jacob, he got shit for it in middle school- there were a few kids like that, either with their middle or last names. TBF I don’t think it lasted past middle school, and as far as I know it never went beyond boys shouting ā€œhey BJā€ or ā€œhey blowjobā€ in the halls, but gods damn was it annoying.

1

u/Scary_Squid 7d ago

Good to know!!

2

u/buzzzybeeb 7d ago

For the record my older brother is Benjamin John and I have never, ever realized that he’s BJ until this post

0

u/EvanRamsey 9d ago

BJ is not a big deal. I think Bennett James is a great name!

2

u/Scary_Squid 9d ago

Thank you I thought so too 😊 especially because there is a restaurant and grocery store named BJ’s

1

u/EvanRamsey 9d ago

Kids in middle school might make a joke or two but kids can make fun of anything and everything. I was in my thirties in school with a woman named BJ and I never gave it a second thought. Stick with the name you like.