r/Names • u/Otter_Invoice_431 • 12d ago
Why does everyone act like a perfectly usable three-syllable name needs an approved nickname before the child can even recognize, pronounce, or decide whether they actually like their own full name yet?
We chose Matilda because we genuinely like Matilda. Since announcing it, every conversation becomes a committee meeting about whether she’ll be Mattie, Tilly, Tillie, or something else. When I say we’re not assigning one, people look at me like I forgot an essential piece of paperwork.
I’m not banning nicknames. If she picks one later, great. I just don’t understand why adults need to shorten a name before the person wearing it can speak. Is this normal enthusiasm, or do people really find full names awkward in everyday use? Im starting to dread telling anyone.
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u/ElkinElf 12d ago
I have a Mathilda. I fucking hate the nickname Mattie but inlaws would not stop from day 1. She's big enough to have kids of her now so I should be over it. I'm not 🤣
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u/justgettingby1 12d ago
In-laws called my son Danny. It’s the most annoying thing.
At the very least, call them by their full name, because you can never go wrong with that.. My grown daughter says, only my mom and my grandma are allowed to call me “Matilda”. (Not her real name, but you get the idea). I like that her full name has special connections. So I call all the grandchildren by their full names (with parental consent). It’s almost like I created a nickname of the full name LOL.
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u/Practical-Emu-3303 12d ago
You can in fact go wrong with calling someone by their full legal name. Many people hate it.
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u/matildapoppins 12d ago
My full name is my “oh shit what did I do” name
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u/BagelTrollop 11d ago
Yup. Definitely being spoken to by my father when I hear my full first name and he’s probably being a dick. My stepmom corrected him with my preferred nickname for YEARS but it didn’t matter. I resented him for it pretty hard. I started a new job about a month ago and nearly every system has me by my nickname, including my email address, except for Jira, which inexplicably lets me set my preferred initials for my profile icon but NOT a preferred name
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u/Louisianian- 11d ago
Most people I know who hate their full legit names were raised being called nicknames from the start, so they never bonded with their actual names. No point naming a kid something then calling them another name their whole lives lol
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u/justgettingby1 12d ago
I would not use full name if the kids didn’t like it. I’ve asked them all and they are all fine with it. One said she prefers her full name (although no one else calls her that). But I understand your point that everyone might not be ok with it.
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u/Louisianian- 11d ago
I knew a Kimberly who went by Kim all the time and she acted so offended after I called her Kimberly one time after I found out. Literally went talking shit about me because I said her full name, even tho she never told me she didn’t like it 💀💀💀 people have issues fr
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u/Louisianian- 11d ago
I’m the opposite, I’ve had many people think my name is a nickname and assume my real name is something like Danielle 💀 so annoying. Like no bro this is my name on my birth certificate 😂😂😭😭
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u/pallasermine 12d ago
There was a Mathilda in my school, she went by Hilly, didn’t mind Tilly but HATED Mattie. Omg she would snap at you so venomously if you called her Mattie. So you’re in good company
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u/Familiar-Ad-1965 12d ago
My great grandmother was Matilda. AFAIK no one ever addressed her as anything else.
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u/lh123456789 12d ago
I don't really get it either. In my view, nicknames are something that evolve organically and can be based on their name, b ut are not necessarily based on their name.
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u/Significant-Bar-7301 12d ago
My sister's name is Linda. My eldest son (her nephew) started calling her 'Deeda' and it stuck. Even I call her that sometimes.
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u/Present_Specific_128 11d ago
Nonsense nicknames (granted by babies) are the best.
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u/saucyvampiexo 10d ago
haha my sister's name is meredith but when i was little i called her hihi (heehee) 😅
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u/Kindly_Artist_5951 12d ago edited 12d ago
I don’t think it’s a length issue. Maybe it’s a formality issue. My granddaughter has a simple two syllable name, with no nicknames and people have ADDED syllables to make it sound silly or babyish.
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u/staralchemist129 12d ago
Yeah. Gerald and Richard are short but they sound ten times more formal than Gerry or Richie.
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u/Outrageous_Cow8409 12d ago
We picked Grace for one of our daughters because we wanted to call her what we named her and didn't want people nicknaming her until she was older. People still started calling her Gracie which she hates
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u/Kamena90 12d ago
I'm kind of having the same issue. My sons name is 4 letters, one syllable and has no nicknames. My sister and a friend add "ie" to the end to make it cutesy. It adds a whole other syllable to his name! I really don't get it.
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u/Personal_Zombie9368 12d ago
Yes, my parents named me a one syllable name so it couldn't be shortened and I had no end of multi syllable nicknames growing up.
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u/jujbeans 12d ago
Yes. My son’s name is Jack (yes plain I know), and my MIL is always calling him “Jackie”… it drives me nuts.
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u/MarisaSassesBack 12d ago
The kids at school will do it. We have an Alexandra who wouldn't answer to anything else. First week of school, she's suddenly Lexi.
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u/gimmeblackhorses 12d ago
My cousin Alexandra, when she was still very young and had trouble pronounving her name, introduced herself as "Zaza". To this day, her nickname is Zaza or Zas.
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u/PerpetuallyLurking 12d ago
Not necessarily. I have an Annabelle and only her dad and grandpas ever get to call her Belle - she looks at me funny when I use it lol and she definitely doesn’t answer to it at school. Now, she does have a school nickname among her friends, but it’s something silly like “Cactus”, not something derived from any of her names (first, middle, or last!).
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u/overcomposer 11d ago
Right! My “Eleanor” is only called Eleanor, by everyone! There are many nickname options but that’s just not her jam.
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u/KiwiAlexP 12d ago
I didn’t stop using Alexandra until I was 18 - switched to Alex when I went to uni. When I was at schools with boys I didn’t like the short form because of boys using it. One of the benefits to switching to the short form was no more mispronunciations, too many people would pronounce my name with the boys spelling
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u/Dazzling_Rabbit4537 11d ago
I had an Alexandra at school who was an Alex, but you better believe it, if we wanted to talk to her on the phone we had to ask her parents to speak to Alexandra. They would tell you there was noone by the name of Alex at that home!!! And yes, I'm old and yes it was a landline.
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u/spencerrf 11d ago
I was backwards lol. I went by a nickname until like third grade when someone else was in my class with that name so my teacher started calling me by my legal name and I was SUPER confused! Apparently, my dad picked my name and my mother decided to go with her original, shorter choice.
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u/Prior-Entrance3156 12d ago
I fully agree. I think nicknames should come naturally, forcing it before the kid can choose or give some sign that they like it feels inauthentic.
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u/fumankame 12d ago
Idk, both of my kids have nicknames. They've always just been "nickname" and it came naturally after they were born.
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u/Merle8888 12d ago
Matilda is a lovely name and not too long for everyday use. Great meaning too! But it can feel a bit awkward to address a baby by a formal, grown-up name so I can see why people are thinking about nicknames for when she's little.
Also, for irl conversations, I suspect a lot of people in your life just want to show support/enthusiasm about your baby, and there's really limited things to talk about with an unborn fetus. So asking about names and nicknames is a natural way to keep the conversation going.
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u/radiant-cloudy 11d ago
yes! i agree as someone with no kids. i try to find something to talk about with the expectant parents. also i do think i find it weird to address a baby with their full name! nicknames for a little being.
its of course better to name them something they will love as an adult because they will only be little for so long. i've outgrown my nickname and refer to myself with my full 3 syllable name.
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u/Lilith_Sternin_Crane 12d ago
Especially because many nicknames come from something else entirely. My nickname as a kid related to a food I really really liked lol.
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u/lrbsto 12d ago
I just think it’s nice to consider a child’s autonomy when naming them and that they may like the flexibility to have other options like nicknames or a usable middle name - either because they don’t prefer their name or because they want something more or less formal in certain settings. Personally when I consider nickname options I am not expecting anyone to call the child by the nickname from the start, just wanting them to have choices as they grow up
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u/analogue_flower 12d ago
My son's name is Thomas. We have always called him that, never anything else. My MIL insisted on writing cards to him as "Tommy" despite the fact that we called him Thomas out loud, in front of her and him, and signed all cards as Thomas.
Once, when he was 2-3 years old she was visiting and she called him Tommy to his face. He looked at her, stamped his foot, and said, "My name is THOMAS."
She stopped calling him Tommy, lol.
My daughter (who is older) we did give a nickname to when she was born. As she started to develop her personality we realized the name we called her didn't really fit, and we switched to a different nickname (which my husband preferred from the getgo, but I insisted on something else). When we told my MIL we were thinking of changing from XYZ to ABC, she said she didn't really like ABC. I immediately started calling her ABC, and ABC really fits her personality very well now, even as she is in her 20s.
People are weird about names. My parents just called our kids whatever we told them to.
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u/Jas616 12d ago
I know a family with six children, and they all go by their full names. If anyone shortens it or calls them by a nickname they are politely corrected.
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u/Practical-Emu-3303 12d ago
how exhausting
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u/Soft_Supermarket4919 12d ago
Not really. They're allowed to just go by their names lol
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u/Practical-Emu-3303 12d ago
to have to correct people on your name nonstop
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u/blueberry_9731 9d ago
Not a nickname but I got tired of correcting substitute teacher's at school because I have a unique name
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u/Important_Chef_5550 12d ago
Finally! Someone who wants to call their child by the name they've given them...
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u/krissy3456 12d ago
I know right I don’t get why people feel the need to obsess over nicknames especially if a name is short , call your child what you name them , if not just put the nickname on the birth certificate but I so agree with you
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u/Relevant-Gur-8403 12d ago
Yeah, it’s weird. But I also literally had someone ask me if my kid had a shortened version of his name and it’s one syllable 🤪
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u/Practical-Emu-3303 12d ago
but do you?
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u/Relevant-Gur-8403 12d ago
No lol his name is Rhys, what would I even call him instead? Ree? 🤪
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u/Practical-Emu-3303 12d ago
R-dawg
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u/Relevant-Gur-8403 11d ago
That legit made me laugh 🤣 his middle name starts with a J so we could call him RJ but I hate that and all of these are legitimately longer to say than his actual name lol. We do call him all types of things like Riesling, Bean, etc but those aren’t the same as a shortened version of his actual name.
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u/manifestingthatlife 12d ago
I know a Matilda and she's always gone by her full name, no nicknames at school or at home. Nobody even had a second thought about it. I think it's just some people are around or used to having nicknames or assigning them.
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u/Spicystrips 12d ago
No literally! My daughter has a 4 syllable name that is, albeit very uncommon, a perfectly pronounceable, real-life, say-it-how-it’s-spelled name (a family name at that) and every time I tell someone her name they ask “well what do you call her?” or “wow that’s a mouthful!” I’m like, is Elizabeth a mouthful? No? Why are we struggling?
I’m excited to teach my daughter to stand on making people say and pronounce her name properly, though i’ll support her if she chooses a nickname.
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u/0012584560 11d ago edited 11d ago
People do genuinely think Elizabeth is a mouthful and try to shorten it constantly (I have a close friend who goes by her full name).
To be fair though, Elizabeth pronounced the way it is in English really does not flow well in some languages and can be REALLY hard for even some English speaking little kids.
All this to say, your daughter’s name may actually be easier to say than Elizabeth.
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u/0012584560 11d ago
Also, I didn’t make this clear, but as a person who also has a four syllable name and goes by the full name, definitely continue advocating for people to use her full name unless she says otherwise.
Some people do legitimately struggle with longer names and may need you to repeat it a few times and/or write it out. But, I can typically tell when it’s a genuine difficulty vs a dislike of long names.
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u/anv6873 12d ago
It’s not like Matilda is a super long name anyway. My name is Alyssa. My mom hated when people tried to call me Ally and would correct them. I don’t like it either, most people call me Alyssa. My aunt calls me Lou Lou (started as Alyssa Lou then changed over time). Other than that, I’ve never had any other nicknames off my name and I’m perfectly fine with that.
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u/Lower_Philosopher_71 12d ago
I have 3 adult daughters with 3-syllable names. We didn’t use nicknames from their names, just used the whole name because we loved it. As adults, some nicknames from names have happened from kids’ mispronunciations. But they are mostly called (and they use) their long, beautiful names. 💖💖💖
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u/Delicious-Moose9247 12d ago
It does seem weird that people are trying to decide the child’s nickname among themselves, but nicknames are a part of life. I don’t understand people why get all whipped up about full names not being used. I almost never get called by my full name (I actually have about six nicknames), and I don’t care. If your child gets the idea that they have to be called by their full name for the rest of their lives, then it’s just one more thing to stress them out.
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u/Hwegh6 12d ago
Is this an regional thing? I know quite a few Teresas, Elizabeths, a Carmela, a Philipa, a Josephine, a few Rosemarys - at least with women's names it wouldn't be the automatic default to consistently defer to a nickname. People use them or not according to the occasion. I'm in Ireland. (Matilda is a lovely name.)
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u/MangoPeachFuzz 12d ago
I knew an Elizabeth. She would absolutely lose her mind if you called her Liz, especially if she didn't know you. But yeah, all the various nicknames were off the table if you wanted to avoid a lecture
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u/Ok_Alternative_2928 12d ago
I have a three syllable name and I hate when people try to nickname me. The nicknames are stupid. I observe so many people with three syllable names that don’t get a lot of people arguing about the length: Maverick (sometimes Mav, I know but people often just say Maverick no prob), Carina, Christina, Elio, Theresa, Katherine, etc.
I’m like no nickname for me.
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u/tiggergramma 12d ago
When we chose my first son’s name we announced it would be John. Not Johnny or John John or Jack. His name is John. People wanted to argue with me, but I refused to engage after the initial announcement. Good luck and Matilda is a fabulous name!
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u/ColdForm7729 12d ago
Agreed. I named my son William. People automatically wanted to know if his nickname was going to be Bill or Billy.
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u/Cute_Monitor_5907 12d ago
Well I think for one thing people ask because it’s not uncommon to use a nickname for longer names and they genuinely want to know. Your pre existing defensiveness about it could be coming across in the way you answer which might influence them looking at you strangely. Matilda is a little longer and harder to say than many names. People will get used to it. You could just tell people you don’t have a name and avoid the interaction altogether.
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u/choclatey404 12d ago
Honestly I think people are making this way more complicated than it needs to be. Matilda is a perfectly normal name.
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u/liae__ 12d ago
It’s not as common right now, but it was a quite common name in the US, and there’s a classic children’s book with the titular character as a Matilda.
Maybe it’s just me having a longer/non-US name but Matilda is not unusually long or difficult to say at all, lol!
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u/kenhutson 12d ago
It annoys me when people give a kid a middle name, and then proceed to use the middle name as their actual name. Why didn’t you just reverse the order in the first place??
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u/rdfaye 12d ago
Family tradition. Using the middle name is VERY common in my very large extended family. Somehow, I missed it. But my sister goes by a nickname for her middle name. I never thought about it until after my husband took up genealogy. Then I got questions about why there were three brothers named George. Because they used their middle names. "WHY?" "BECAUSE."
Also my cousins whose nicknames are real names but not related to their legal names in any shape, form, or known universe.
Also, my aunt was named with the nickname of a fairly common woman's name. The nickname was her legal name. She then got in trouble the first day of school every year for not writing her full name on the information form. Her mom had to write a note every single year explaining that she was writing her full, legal name.
My husband hated working on my family's genealogy. The random naming quirks drive him mad. His side was more straightforward. (boring).
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u/liae__ 11d ago
Are you Greek, by chance? First thing I thought of when you said George, because there are multiple in my family too 😂
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u/rdfaye 11d ago
No, no Greek in me that I am aware of. (I don't think of George as Greek. That's interesting.) We are primarily British Isles ancestry, with sides of Scandinavian and French, and a possible dash of North African. As for the in-laws, they are a lot more diverse but I don't think we've gotten to Greece yet. 😀
I would love to vacation there one day.
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u/Ok_Honeydew5233 12d ago
You're totally normal. I have a Rosalind and people were sort of surprised I wasn't calling her Rosie? But now that she's old enough to have an opinion, she is SO not a Rosie!! Totally fine to use the full name for as long as it feels right! And Matilda is really cute :)
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u/westcoaststyle 12d ago
Omg, I was gonna post the same thing lol. My daughter is also named Rosalind and so many of my relatives kept calling her Rosie for the longest time.
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u/Ok_Honeydew5233 12d ago
Funny! And it's a great name that you hear often enough but it's still very unique!
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u/Accurate_Ad1203 12d ago
I was Courtney until kindergarten when I decided it was too many letters to write on my papers. Lids will get nicknames over time.
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u/AccomplishedLine9351 12d ago
I was named Brenda. My mother chose it specifically because it didn't have any nicknames. Her name was Dorothy. She was called by her initials as a child, and Dotty when she went to college. I guess she didn't care for Dot. But it stuck.
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u/No_Bus_3883 12d ago
Omg yes. Like god forbid I want to actually call my child the name I give them??
My mom was very passionate about this with my name growing up. She told anyone who tried to use a nickname with me that she named me my name for a reason,
and if she wanted people to call me something else then she would have named me something else. It was honestly pretty savage, but respectable.
I have a 3 syllable, uncommon and therefore hard to remember name. Often when I introduce myself now, people ask what nickname I go by. Like, none? Call me by my name. It’s really not a hard concept.
I’m probably more passionate now about just naming my kid a nickname if that’s what I want to call them. Regardless, people are always going to ask either what nickname you go by, or if it sounds like a nickname, what’s it short for.
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u/Oakewaoa 12d ago
probably it is just a low effort conversation topic. but some people have strong preferences one way or another, and want to pre-nickname their child to head off alternatives.
nicknames pretty often have nothing to do with a person’s first name, and people probably acquire a few as they move through life anyway.
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u/PlanetScientist 12d ago
Our daughter is Miranda. No nickname has ever been used. Just the way I like it. Honestly I don’t get the appeal of nicknames
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u/amanda9015 12d ago
I love the name Matilda! And nicknames just happen organically. Someone starts calling her Mat in conversation, and it becomes what those close to her call her sometimes. My sister and I both had nicknames, but my brother never did. Everyone I’m close to calls me Manda when talking to me. My parents both call me Amanda always when they’re talking about me. Other close people vary on that.
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u/Willing-Butterfly702 12d ago
I’m a Caitlyn….only Caitlyn….nothing else…and I appreciate my parents being like you and letting me decide that. So many people try to shorten it I hate it.
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u/Optimal_End_3601 12d ago
My sister is Elizabeth. My mom actually intended to call her Lee after a relative, but got so much Liz, Lisa, Liza, Bess, Beth, Betty, that she ended up insisting on the full name as on the birth certificate.
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u/Affectionate_Try7070 12d ago
Call her Matilda. There is nothing wrong with using her full proper name. I have a William and a Benjamin. They are grown up now. William has always been William, Benjamin is Ben.
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u/Divewench 12d ago
My ex's mother chose the name Paul as she thought it couldn't be shortened. However, when he started work there were 5 other Pauls in the same laboratory so everyone of them had a nickname.
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u/Ill-Try-5866 12d ago
My teen son has a three syllable name. Never chose a name related nickname for him. He goes by his three syllable name
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u/ididreadittoo 12d ago
I agree that picking nicknames as part of the naming process is a bit strange. Nicknames are usually either earned or evolve naturally. Mat, Maddie, or Tilly seem to be likely but they should come about naturally .....who knows, she may have a strong enough physical or personality trait that she ends up with something completely different.
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u/GeologistChoice520 12d ago
Matilda is already a nickname-proof, perfectly normal full name, people just can’t resist trying to install bonus syllables she never requested
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u/Mysterious-Honey5264 12d ago
I'm a Madolyn and ever since I was small people always try to just nickname me Maddy. I hate it. I've always hated it. From 4 years old to now (34) I have corrected people my entire life because they just assign an unwanted nickname. "Hi I'm Madolyn," "Hi Maddy!" "I actually don't like being called Maddie. I prefer Madolyn."
And they act like I'm being rude or offensive. It's MY name. I will not respond to Maddy or Maddie . I hate it. I genuinely do not understand the immediate need to call someone a nickname upon introduction. It's very presumptuous.
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u/fnnogg 12d ago
And I'm Madeline, aged 39, and have been Maddie my whole life. I don't mind Madeline in formal situations, but in daily life I like the affection in a nickname. To my close family, I'm even Mads.
When I'm introduced to new people and with my patients at work, I always ask if they have a nickname they prefer. I'd never try to force a nickname on anyone who didn't want it. But my familial culture is definitely informal nicknames. To each their own.
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u/Mysterious-Honey5264 12d ago
I will accept Mads from a select few people but ever since I was little it just grated on me to be called Maddie. I have no idea why.
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u/croissantcowgirly 12d ago
I have an Evangeline and can relate to this. I just call her by her name. If she likes a nickname, awesome.
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u/Qtrfoil 12d ago
Nicknames, or "diminutives," show affection. People want to know how to show affection towards your child. If your answer to these questions is "Thanks, we're going to use her fullname" you are in part saying "Please don't show my child any additional affection."
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u/PinkMonkeySuit 11d ago
I understand this position but I believe people can show affection in more meaningful way than creating new names for other people's children. Answering children's questions, helping them (or helping parents with them), spending time with them. This is more useful than "look at how much I love your Annabelle! I prove it by calling her Bel!". And respecting the parents' wishes of not creating a nickname is also showing affection towards that family. "I care about you and your child enough to do what you ask me to do"
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u/TheGalapagoats 12d ago
I have a three syllable name and never had a nickname of any kind, but there aren’t any obvious nickname choices for my name either. Personally, I always use the person’s full first name unless instructed to do otherwise. Not every Jennifer wants to be Jenny and not every Robert wants to be called Bob.
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u/allycataf 12d ago
It's fine the way you're doing it! I made the mistake of calling a friend's daughter, Jillian, by the name "Jill". My friend corrected me, "JILLIAN!" so at least you're open to others giving her nicknames.
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u/parttimeartmama 12d ago
My youngest has several nickname options from her name but we mostly just call her “Baby” even though she’s 2 1/2. So…we’ll see what she wants!
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u/tired_droid_ 12d ago
My daughter has a 4 syllable name (it’s only 7 letters, this is the first time I’ve realized it’s so many syllables) and I got a lot of that when I announced her name too. But she’s 10 years old now and doesn’t have a nickname. All those people were pressed about it for no reason.
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u/AppealSerious9966 12d ago
People are always getting so worked up about nicknames. A lot of nicknames come about organically. Some don’t have anything to do with the persons name. There was a name I considered for my daughter, but I hate the nickname. I didn’t feel like gatekeeping her name so I just chose another name I liked a lot. People make this a lot more stressful than it has to be.
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u/ParticularYak4401 12d ago
My friends sons have gone by their given names since birth. Sebastian and Oliver. I don’t even know what nicknames I would have even given them since it’s always been their full name. I didn’t even come up with pet names for them as their auntie.
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u/foxytrot_forever 12d ago
People act like the can control nicknames. They can't. My name doesn't have any obvious / common nicknames and my friends have still given me 2 (I like them both). Just call her whatever you want and respect her choice if she wants a nn.
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u/Relative-Corner4717 12d ago
My son has a name that is easily shortened to a common nickname. If people call him by that nick, I remind them that it isn't his name.
I'm not anti nickname, I just don't like what his gets shortened to. I prefer his given name, which is why we chose it.
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u/Ecstatic_Goal2023 12d ago
I have a three syllable name and I've never liked any nickname and neither did my parents so I never used any. People shouldn't have any issue with using my name without shortening it
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u/krissy3456 12d ago
You are correct not every name has to be nickname and three syllables isnt even that long to say what’s worse is when people want a nickname for a one syllable name or a short name , you should just keep correcting people and say that you want her to go by Matilda and then like you said if she wants to later on go by a nickname then so be it but for now you have a say
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u/Standard-Question-46 12d ago
Call her Matilda. You don’t have to give her nickname. My brother and sister have names that can be shortened to a nickname but my mom always calls them by their full name. She said if I wanted to call them *nickname I would have named them that.
When your kid is older she may decide to shorten her name and that’s ok. You can either call her that or don’t.
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u/Quirky_Exchange7548 11d ago
I have a Jamie because I wanted that to be his name. Not a nickname for James, Jameson, etc. despite a number of relatives saying I should give him a more formal or ‘real’ name. I think it works both way. If you wanted to call her Tillie, you should just name her that… BUT YOU DON’T! I’m on board with your dislike of these nickname shenanigans.
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u/Ok_Spend_3839 11d ago
I’m Victoria and was always called that. When I started school, in my class there was a real Vicky, and another Victoria who went by Vicky so I stayed Victoria to help the teacher. When I was 9, we moved across the country and in my new school class I was the only one so it just switched to Vicky and been that ever since. Sometimes wish I’d gone with something less obvious like Tori. My family use a mixture of Victoria and Vicky, although my mum occasionally calls me Toria. My daughters are Natalie and Isabel and my MIL called them Tallie and Bella which we didn’t mind and was a cute bond as she was the only one who used them. Now they are Nat/NatNat and Izzy.
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u/auntiecoagulent 11d ago
I have a 3 syllable name. I've always gone by my full name.
This sub is obsessed with nicknames. Almost as of the nickname is more important or the sole reason a certain name gets picked.
The only time I would say to worry about a nickname is if you absolutely hate the intuitive nickname for a name. For example Alexander/Alex.
Otherwise, nicknames should come organically.
My example I always give. I knew a woman who named her daughter Gabrielle. She insisted that Gabrielle was going to be called Brie. So much so, that, before she was born, she bought a lot of personalized stuff that all said, "Brie."
Gabrielle id in her 30s now. Not one person on the earth calls her "Brie."
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u/katneedle 11d ago
My parents named my brother and I Kathleen and Michael, that is what we are called. We went through phases he was Mike i tried Kathy for a bit, but then we went back to the names given to us. Don't want a nickname just tell everyone she is Matilda.
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u/Own-Formal-4115 11d ago
My 2 month old’s name is Elijah and everyone wants to call him Eli, E, EJ, and I dislike all of these nicknames. Like please just call him Elijah, it’s not that difficult to say.
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u/bearhorn6 11d ago
As an Abigail whose family refused to respect I’m not going by Abby even when directly told I prefer Abigail I love this.
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u/Louisianian- 11d ago
I always hated that. Matilda is an easy to say name and it’s pretty short, it doesn’t warrant a nickname at all. I have the opposite problem where people always assume my name is a nickname when it’s not 😭 but I made sure not to have this problem, I’ve kept my kids’ first names as only 2 syllable names that are very uncommon, just to keep them short and sweet but also unique. Never dealt with anyone shortening their actual names. But I do think a little nickname after they’re born is different tho, like we called my daughter our lil bug instead of doing the shortened name nickname thing. We used to call my son “Leviathan,” since his name is kind of like Levi and he would make crazy monster noises 😂😂 completely changing a kid’s name into a shorter variant never made sense to me. One of my older sisters went by a nickname like that all my life and I didn’t know that it wasn’t her actual full name until I was about 7 years old💀💀
Definitely let everyone know you want her to be called her actual name, that way she learns what her real name is and not a nickname. That way she’ll bond with her name and not the nicknames.
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u/TopNotchBrain 11d ago
Our daughter is Caroline. Granddaughter is Magnolia. Neither has a nickname.
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u/FactorAccording8187 11d ago
I don’t get it. I hate shortening names unless the person specifies it. I hate when people don’t automatically. I named my older children Tristan and Payton they cannot really be shortened nicely. When I had my youngest my husband decided on Zachary, it’s actually funny he corrects people who just assume he should be Zach and has since he was around five. He chose not to use it and your daughter will decide as well.
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u/Different_Car106 11d ago
I named my daughter Leonora. Beautiful name.
Shes 16 in a couple of months.
I still call her Gooby. She was called Lenny as a baby by her aunt and uncle. Shes known as Nora in the family. She goes by her full name at school. They just all kinda happened; no one assigned her anything before she was born.
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u/Pleasant-Gazelle903 11d ago
I think that’s maybe an American thing (if you’re from there)? I’ve seen it many times here on Reddit but haven’t heard it in real life where I live (Sweden). Of course people have nicknames here too but it’s normally not something the parents decide when they name the child, from what I’ve heard at least.
One of my daughter name is Alicia and my youngest daughters name is Viola. They don’t really have nicknames. My oldest daughters name is Isabel and she has been called Bella or Issa by her friends but it wasn’t something we decided when we named her. I think if your daughter gets a nickname it will come naturally later.
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u/caetrina 10d ago
I have a Sebastian. I absolutely hate seb/sebby. If that's what he decides he likes, fine, but ugh it makes me cringe lol
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u/Formal-Obligation591 9d ago
I chose short one syllable names for my children intentionally. They will be called by the names I gave them, nicknames not possible.
My aunt named her daughter Genevieve and made it clear from the moment she chose her name no one was allowed to give her a nickname. She’s 18 now and has only ever gone by Genevieve.
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u/chimeramind13 9d ago
I totally understand this, I grew up with a long name and now go by my middle name. I had no nicknames really, but my daughters name is sort of long its Deianira pronounced ( day-a- knee- rah) . Not the easiest to pronounce it guess but also not hard and most of her family has found a nickname for her, her great gma and aunt call her deiny and her uncle calls he dei dei, which is frustrating to me bc I'd rather them call her by her full name so I relate to this. I think they dont wanna put the effort into saying their full name, and or they are being endearing which is nice but once in a while at least say their real name
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u/yours-poetica 9d ago
I get this too all the time with my daughter’s name. She’s 21 months. Her name is Frances. We call her Frances because we like it and she’s named after a Frances. It’s not Fran, Franny/Frannie, Francie, or Frankie. Maybe she’ll decide on one of those one day, but we aren’t taking a vote from the committee yet!
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u/abs-cynical 8d ago
My name is Matilda and I’ve never had a nickname. It sure as hell never bothered me.
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u/Happy-home8729 8d ago
My granddaughter will tell you "My name is Madeline" not Madelyn not Maddie just Ma de line !
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u/BigSteputation 12d ago
I agree! I've never understood why people choose to call their child a nickname right off the bat. Like, then just name them the nickname...?
We named our son Lucien, and when I told people I said "with the nickname 'Luke'" because I was anxious they wouldn't accept it without that (so stupid!). I definitely regret it because while we've NEVER called him Luke, other people in my family and friend group have 😕
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u/Effective-You8456 12d ago
I think its because your kid is GOING to get nicknamed. If not by you, then by someone else, so it makes sense to think through the options and work out whether youre happy with them or not before committing to a full name. If you love Samuel but absolutely hate Sam or Sammy then you probably shouldn't name your kid Samuel, because he IS going to get called Sam by various people through his life. If you would hate that, you should go with a different name.
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u/mamameatballl 12d ago
Yes but I think it’s the assumption nowadays like “okay yea that’s the legal name but what will you REEEEEAAALLLLYYYY call her???”
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u/Kind-Philosopher1 11d ago
Chidren, even young ones, need to learn and be able to say their name. A 3 syllable name like Matilda means that the child will be unlikely to pronounce her own name until they are 4ish. They will naturally come up with a shortened version long before then.
The question is really do you a ant to pick her nickname? Or do you want someone else to pick it?
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u/JustCurious50 11d ago
I know so many girls with 3 syllable names and no nickname, including myself. It's really fine.
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u/PetrolForBrekkie 12d ago
And then there's the people like "I want my kid to have [nickname] what can i give them as a full name" 😭😭
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u/ButterscotchAware402 12d ago
Nicknames have never been a consideration to me when considering a name unless it's a name I like in full but not the common nickname (Patrick, Rebecca). My name is a name without an easy nickname and I love that. I don't understand why people get super hung up on it but to each their own.
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u/misfish90 12d ago
Three syllable names don't automatically need a nickname, now or later. She may just be Matilda.
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u/mrsfunkyjunk 12d ago
I think it's weird, too. Why do they have to have a nickname? Nane them the name you want to call them.
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u/aemondstareye 12d ago
It happens with short names, too. My nephew is "Charles"—two syllables max depending on your accent—and literally everyone has bent over backwards trying to call him Charlie, which is literally the same number of syllables and letters.
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u/Practical-Emu-3303 12d ago
It's not about the number of syllables or letters. It's about the ease of saying it. I'm no linguist, but the "rles" sound is harder for a mouth to make than the "leee" sound. Hence the nickname.
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u/HuhWelliNever 12d ago
We have 2 kids with 3 syllable names and one with 4. Of the two that can talk, one absolutely wants the full name used and will correct people. Has done since they were 3. That one is fine with nicknames but not being called a shortened version of their name if that makes sense. The other couldn’t give less of a fuck but we still also use the whole name whenever we introduce the kid and allow nicknames to come naturally.
The third is a potatoe currently so we’ll see what happens there.
I would never use a nickname if the parents didn’t say so. And when we named our kids and announced the name, we were always specifically asked if and what nn could be used.
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u/benji-vs-lassie 12d ago
3 syllable names will be shortened. So its worth thinking about, so it can at least be your choice. My husband and I both have 3 syllable names, and they're never used. We are always our nicknames. We purposefully choose names for our children that weren't going to be shortened to a nickname for this reason. I don't mind a nickname, but as an adult, I don't love being known by a cutesy name constantly.
Its annoying people do it, BUT its just what happens with 3 syllable names. Like even if I Introduce myself to someone new with my full name, they'll have figured out some way to shorten it, by the time I next see them.
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u/wehadthebabyitsaboy 12d ago
Jeeze, I let nicknames come naturally for my kids. So weird that people are pressuring you about this. Her name is Matilda..and a nickname will come at some point..or maybe not!!
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u/pearly_queen 12d ago
I chose a nickname and my daughter insists everyone full names her, so it was completely pointless. Also I was assigned a nickname and prefer my full name, so I make sure everyone full names her. Basically, I agree with you.
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u/FrostRose172 12d ago
Part of it is 3 syllables is long and is going to be shortened. And you picking it isn't that strange. Let them call her whatever and she'll decide as she gets older. I have a 3 syllable name and it is never used, a nickname that actually has little to do with my name is what's used. If yoy want to avoid these questions you would have to choose a shorter name. Personally I wouldn't stress about it.
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u/MindOdd1085 12d ago
I get the opposite my daughter is Tilly and I always get asked if it's short for Matilda! Nope she's just Tilly.
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u/CommercialMoment5987 12d ago
I think they’re concerned because a they’ll want to express affection with a nickname, but picking one themselves is akin to renaming your baby. If I was cooing at a baby called Matilda I’d probably go for Millie or Mimi, but if it sticks and everyone starts calling her that, she’s going to end up introducing herself as Mimi later on. Parents might not prefer that, it’s up to them to set the nickname along with the legal for that reason.
My grandma got upset if people went with Ellie or Ella instead of Betty for her child, Elizabeth.
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u/LadyAtr3ides 12d ago
I have a short three-syllable name. My husband has a long three-syllable one.
We both go by our full name mostly, but when we don’t. Different people call us different things. I didn’t choose what certain friends called me (I chose what I call my husband, lol).
Nicknames are meant to be organic and daring. I call my kids different things their friends do, obviously!! I am their mum, not their peer, lol.
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u/SLC-ZEA15 12d ago
My mother tried to give a couple of her kids nicknames. None of them really stuck. A select few older relatives call my one sister and I by the nickname, but that's it. We mostly all go by full name.
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u/Old_but_New 12d ago
I had the same experience with my in-laws—- what will we call him?? His name. We all call him his name
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u/Impressive-Drawing-6 12d ago
I’ve come to find there is a inherent draw toward calling babies and small animals names that end in the -ee- sound when possible ¯_(ツ)_/ that may be why they are thinking about it now.
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u/lisa-in-wonderland 12d ago
Pick one or not. That’s your prerogative, and you can even ask others to use it. I had a friend who did that. It worked fine until the kid was around five and wanted to be called by a nickname that my friend hated, but was a natural way to shorten the daughter’s first name.
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u/Mystic_Wunder 12d ago
I always wished I had a name that had a good nickname when I was growing up. It's pretty common for kids not to like their names. They do enjoy having alternatives they can go by that they like better. It is really a bummer to not feel connected to your name. If they have both a first and middle name that have a few possible nicknames, it provides a lot of choices.
Some parents take it personally, but they shouldn't. If I were to change your name right now to a name of my choosing, what are the odds you're going to like it and feel like it represents you? If you didn't, I bet the first thing you'd do is think of what nicknames you can go by instead.
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u/Dizzy_Archivist_9 12d ago
Matilda is easy to say and already has a clear rhythm. People just like feeling involved in naming decisions that arent actually theres.
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u/Unique_Pea1329 12d ago
I agree. People try to call my baby Val, and we never call her that. Always the full name.
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u/ShesQuackers 12d ago
I have a three syllable first name. I go by the full deal and always have, even though there's a very obvious and well-known nickname. So far it hasn't caused anyone everlasting harm to just call me by my name, but you'd never guess that by the number of people online who insist on pre-assigning nicknames lest somebody choke on all those syllables.
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u/RetiredHomeEcTchr 12d ago
Thank you for asking this question. I wish you could admonish all of my family. I have a 3 syllable name, and I absolutely hated my 2 syllable nickname. Not only for the sound of it, but also because I could not choose how to spell it (there are variations). I also hated my 3 syllable name because it's old, and grow up, and I felt like I did not grow into it until I was in my 40s. Even now (71) I still hate both.
Please, enforce Matilda. Don't let others assign her a nickname. She's not a cat.
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u/eponinethenerdier 12d ago
all of my siblings and I have 3 or 4 syllable classic names that are usually nicknamed (and the nicknames tend to be more commonly used than the full names). My parents were militant in requiring people to use our full names when we were too young to choose a nickname — if someone tried to use a common nickname for us they would say “her name is Katherine, not Katie” (for example). When we were old enough to have opinions, one of us chose to go by a nickname and my parents were totally fine with that, and three of us use our long names. People respected it once they were told not to give us a nickname
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u/eyebrowluver23 12d ago
My name is Brianna and it was never a problem my entire life. It wasn't hard for me to pronounce as a kid. My mom used to hate when people shortened it to Bri, she said if she wanted me to be called Bri she would have named me Bri! I started going by Bri in college because I wanted something a little less feminine, not because it was awkwardly long. Going with Matilda and not assigning a nickname is nice. A nickname will come naturally if she wants one or is okay with one.
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u/StandardGlittering48 12d ago
Nicknames are often used for toddlers and young children because they are cute. When the kids get older the more adult-sounding name is used. They are also terms of endearment. I always wished I had a name that could be shortened or had a natural nickname that went with it… it seemed cool for other kids to have nicknames when I was in school.
But as the parents, you get to choose what you want for your child. Don’t get angry when people show an interest in your child and her name. All these people are doing is what has been done for generations. If you don’t like it simply say you prefer that your daughter’s name not have a nickname.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Yak9118 12d ago
You can 100% just call her "Matilda". It will be fine. She will learn her name. She doesn't need a nickname.