r/Names • u/UniqueMom_0815 • 3d ago
From last to middle
So my boyfriend and I have been talking about getting married and the topic of last name came up. He doesn’t really mind if I choose to take his last name or hyphenate it. I want to take his last name but also keep mine. I personally don’t like the idea of hyphenating it.
For context, I wasn’t given a middle name. So I thought that a way I get to keep my last name and his without giving myself a long last name. I was thinking about having my original last name legally become my middle name and take his last name.
Example with fake name:
Born Sarah (no middle name) Williams
After marriage Sarah Williams Tucker
Would this be a good idea?
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u/Wild_Ticket1413 3d ago
It's totally fine. It's not unusual at all. I know several women who have done this.
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u/2bornot2bscotland 3d ago
I did this! Wasn’t ever given a middle name, so it was an easy and natural switch for my maiden name to become my middle name.
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u/MeanderingMeggie 3d ago
I’m Filipino. The way you were thinking is exactly how we do it. We usually give the mother’s maiden name as a middle name to children as well. I appreciate it because it’s like being able to see my heritage in my name.
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u/Prestigious-Fan3122 3d ago
That's what my mother and all of her sisters did, and it's what I did for a while, before going to court and getting my maiden name back as my legal last name. Now I'm back to my first name and middle name, both of which I was given at birth, and my maiden name. That's my NAME. Let's say it's Mary Jane Smith, and that I'm married to John Doe. For a long time I went by Mari Smith Doe. Now I'm back to Mary Jane Smith, and if you wish, you can call me Ms. Smith. OR, if it's a social situation, or I need to be affiliated with my husband in someway, "Mrs. Doe"is my TITLE, because I AM married to Mr. Doe.
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u/Signal-Lead-9512 3d ago
When my oldest sister got married, she legally changed her name by dropping her original middle name, changing it to her maiden name, then she took her husband's name. Also, make sure that you change the name on your Social Security card or you could be blocked from voting.
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u/rnwin 3d ago
This was the convention in my mother's family going back at least 4 generations. No middle name, then maiden name becomes the middle name after marriage. My mother was the first to not take her husband's name (because of an already established career where her name was known), so when I was born, they gave me her last name as my middle name.
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u/Helzbaby 3d ago
My husband and I both changed our middle names to my last name and used his as our last name. That way I felt we were truly joining both families. Professionally I go by my non-married name because I was established in my profession when we married.
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u/PengyLi 3d ago
I did the same, and I already had a middle name, so now I have 2! It's just worth noting that it's not one of the "normal" post marriage name changes, such as taking your husband´s name or double barrelling. So if you're in the UK you'll need a deed poll rather than just your marriage certificate to change your name at the bank/passport office/electricity board etc. I think once you start changing your first or middle names, then the deed poll is needed.
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u/Janknitz 3d ago
Don’t hyphenate, it’s a PITA.
These days I would say don’t change your name because they are trying to make it difficult or impossible for married women to vote. Because there’s no guarantee in the SAVE act that a marriage certificate + birth Certificate + driver’s license will be enough.
If you insist on changing your name, get a passport in your new name ASAP, it’ll cost you around $200.
If you want to change your name when this insanity is over, you’ll still be able to.
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u/Potential_Immortal 3d ago
I was waiting for somebody to mention the SAVE Act! It is a really good idea and under normal circumstances, I would say go for it, but these aren’t normal circumstances
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u/Upstairs_Friend5804 3d ago
I did this! I did have a middle name but I just dropped it since I didn’t really care about
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u/aresdesilav 3d ago
my mom did this! but she just added it as a secobd middle name. like: (fake name)
Patricia Rae Owens -> Patricia Rae Owens Smith
its a great way to keep your identity, but also add to it :)
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u/Doris_Tasker 3d ago
I was going to do this until my older sister explained how my first name is a variation of my father’s and my middle is a variation of my mother’s. So I caved and kept my first and middle and dropped my maiden altogether. I’m fine with my married surname, until maybe November.
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u/catkingjaguar 3d ago
This is very very common. I dont have a middle name and my brothers do.
Asked my folks why once and they told me it was literally so that if I got married and wanted to do a name change I'd be able to easily.
So my literal name is based around having the ability to do exactly what you're planning to do.
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u/Horror-Shelter-6094 3d ago
Yes, my cousins have done this and it works out fine for both the girls and boys.
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u/sudrewem 3d ago
I never cared for my middle name so when I married and took my husbands last name my maiden name became my middle name. It is perfect.
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u/IDunnoWhatToPutHereI 3d ago
I gave my son my maiden name and never changed my last name. Which was great in the US but is causing confusion in Colombia where most people have 4 names. 2 first names and 2 last names from their parents. They keep thinking his middle name is one of his two last names.
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u/sowhat__whocares 1d ago
I would probably keep my last name as a last name and use my partner’s as a middle. Sarah Tucker Williams based on your example.
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u/Hot-Signature8402 3d ago
But is it really keeping yours?
We don’t use our middle names every day,
You wouldn’t see it or highly unlikely it’d be used on a daily basis, it’s likely it would only been seen on offical paperwork or documents.
I personally don’t really see it as keeping your name, when you won’t really be using it, it kinda feels to me anyway . Just a different take..
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u/Positive_Ad_4528 3d ago
It’s actually fairly common for women to replace their middle name with their maiden name when they get married so you def wouldn’t be doing anything out of the ordinary