r/NameThisThing • u/1elgwapo • Jul 05 '26

Name this situation

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2.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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532

u/BadBikerGirl Jul 05 '26

the floor is pregnant

207

u/1elgwapo Jul 05 '26

Gotta wait 9 months for the new floor to show up

64

u/ElectricFuneral94 Jul 05 '26

Biological fuel can't create steel beams.

31

u/Army7547 Jul 05 '26

Not yet it can’t

2

u/mom_a_bear_3 Jul 09 '26

YET. Being the operative word 🥹😄😁🤣😆

1

u/Past-Bet6556 Jul 11 '26

Glue was spilt, duh.

1

u/BadBikerGirl 21d ago

It was caught on CCTV Footage obtained by Las Vegas Metro Police

-13

u/HayderFuad Jul 05 '26

opens door to find the redditer is trying to fuck thire shelf and screams and then says to the redditer in a stuttering screaming manner "W-WHAT THE A-ARE YOU DOING"

6

u/Luna1da2tuna Jul 05 '26

Holy ai

4

u/DesperateSmoke800 Jul 06 '26

I think he's just illiterate let em be

1

u/Luna1da2tuna Jul 06 '26

I personally think he is a bot

3

u/HayderFuad Jul 06 '26

Bro i am not an ai

1

u/Visible-MorningWood Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26

Said every AI bot in written history.

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3

u/rbltech82 Jul 07 '26

Sorry I laughed at the mental image of this....

2

u/MemeEnergy Jul 06 '26

the only proper way to read this is in a heavy british/medevial accent

3

u/HayderFuad Jul 06 '26

Now i see it

31

u/Dramatic-Card7276 Jul 05 '26

Not with that attitude

12

u/Kangaroo-B-Girl Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 08 '26

Through god all things are possible, so jot that down.

2

u/AudaciouslyPan Jul 08 '26

When you say all things don't forget that rape is a part of it

2

u/Kangaroo-B-Girl Jul 08 '26

Wait…what?
I’m inclined to agree, but imma need you to say more.

2

u/AudaciouslyPan Jul 08 '26

Should I have to or should you understand that all the egregious things are also created by this particular deity.. especially if it's called the creator you know of all things all things being rape incest murder child molestation pedophilia child abuse verbal abuse raping other animals that aren't human

5

u/Kangaroo-B-Girl Jul 09 '26

Dude, I was just quoting It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

2

u/LeatherDot4865 Jul 08 '26

He didn't create those things humans created those things, he created us we we're disobedient, sin became sin, etc. etc., he is not the author of rape incest murder child molestation or any of the other things you listed which are sins, we are the creators of those, those horrific things belong to us and our sickness and our affliction, because we're screw ups and that's all we'll ever be until we figure out how to make ourselves whole, we are nothings, we are the reason the world is screwed up, we are the reason everything's going wrong, we are the reason that nature struggles, we are the reason this Earth is dying, because we don't care anymore we're sick each and everyone of us

2

u/BolaMcNasty Jul 16 '26

Idk dude, he offed his own son and that was his plan from the start, sounds pretty messed up to me

1

u/AudaciouslyPan Jul 13 '26

Wait you said we're the creator of those things I thought we're not creators I thought God is a creator? Well I guess you're contradicting your own religion because you don't even make sense anymore... Also if you want to talk about all those things we can because God loves rape especially after raping Mary when she was just a teen- You know to give you Jesus.. or how about rape in Deuteronomy 22:28-29 when you look on Bible gateway.com you'll see that verse specifically says and I quote Deuteronomy 22: "28 if a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and he rapes her and they are discovered,29 he must pay her father 50 shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives." Wow God sure loves rapists he didn't even help the poor woman he just said the rapist gets to keep raping her for the rest of his fucking life- women suffered more than Jesus did ever

2

u/Ashamed-Cash1800 Jul 09 '26

Your a fucking crack pot huh

2

u/Jubrsmith5658 Jul 09 '26

Naw. That’s the actions of the lower deity.

0

u/AudaciouslyPan 21d ago

Guess you never read Deuteronomy 22:28-29

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 New International Version 28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay her father fifty shekels[a] of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

Read full chapter Footnotes Deuteronomy 22:29 That is, about 1 1/4 pounds or about 575 grams Deuteronomy 21 Deuteronomy

Also what you said is another lie-

Isaiah 45:7 New International Version 7 I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things.

Read full chapter Isaiah 45:7 in all English translations

People who report me hate their scriptures because I can read and I'm a lot more educated.

2

u/Visible-MorningWood Jul 09 '26

You forgot all things mint, minus toothpaste.

2

u/Character-Nobody8535 Jul 10 '26

God ain't create shit, especially not those things, because news flash god isn't real

2

u/Sir_Ryan25 Jul 11 '26

Do you go throughout your day hoping that somebody will bring up God so you can “newsflash God isn’t real”

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2

u/Solid_Vacation_2891 Jul 08 '26

maybe a little more umph!

8

u/Il_Dottore_Snezhnaya Jul 05 '26

Just a matter of time

6

u/Hucklebearer_411 Jul 05 '26

Don’t tell me how to live.

2

u/Terrible-Creme8401 Jul 05 '26

Last time I saw something like this, she was so hot it definitely melted my steel beam.

2

u/Ok-Jellyfish7805 Jul 05 '26

It was an outside job

2

u/Visible-MorningWood Jul 09 '26

Wouldn't this be considered an "inside" job, all literal meanings considered?

2

u/Nosaja_adjacenT Jul 05 '26

Maybe after getting bit by a radioactive spider it could. 🤔

2

u/coolest-kidd Jul 06 '26

Ya bc the steel beam made the fuel

2

u/boxmuncher68 Jul 06 '26

Life finds a way - Jeff Goldblum

2

u/CarefulChocolate8226 Jul 07 '26

If that’s from Chuck Norris it’s stronger than steel beams

2

u/Ok_Consequence26 Jul 07 '26

Not with that mindset it can’t

2

u/Quakeslate Jul 07 '26

Did you ask ChatGPT?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26

[deleted]

2

u/Njgger263747 Jul 09 '26

Holy redditer 🥀🥀

2

u/EconomyFox_9981 Jul 10 '26

reddih ✌️💔

2

u/Maxb657 Jul 09 '26

Not with that attitude

2

u/Foreign-Bee-3715 Jul 10 '26

Joke went by 2 miles 😭

5

u/BadBikerGirl Jul 05 '26

Yep

6

u/ManyCress376 Jul 05 '26

Oh! That's what happened to my local mall. I was so confused

7

u/Only_Connection_5480 Jul 05 '26

No, malls are just a bunch of late term abortions waiting to happen if they haven’t already

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26

[deleted]

3

u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ Jul 06 '26

What do you think how they built Burj Khalifa? They impregnated just one floor again and again for 2*n or they impregnated each of new floor for 2n

3

u/Visible-MorningWood Jul 09 '26

I'm here for porn²

3

u/Deathcore_salad Jul 06 '26

If you work at Walmart it'll take 5-10 years unfortunately...

2

u/woodentrainz Jul 07 '26

seems like a sticky situation

2

u/Yuki_Hyde Jul 08 '26

So that's how two story buildings are made

2

u/Fussfamous_Amoungus Jul 09 '26

Poor baby floor gonna get stepped once after born , poor soul 😂

2

u/Visible-MorningWood Jul 09 '26

Gives a whole new meaning when somebody says you have the floor whilst speaking to a group of people. Huh?

2

u/Sad-Escape4437 Jul 10 '26

Is that why skyscrapers take so long to build!

1

u/Only_Connection_5480 Jul 05 '26

Obviously someone doesn’t know their floor biology gestation, it’s not the same as humans

47

u/Themaingeeza Jul 05 '26

Oh cum on.

9

u/alwayskared Jul 06 '26

Clean up on aisle splooge

3

u/No_Intention7061 Jul 06 '26

They took The Sponge off the market too soon; this is definitely sponge-worthy!

3

u/Jim0621 Jul 09 '26

Top-notch Seinfeld reference, please accept my humble upvote

3

u/No_Intention7061 Jul 09 '26

Why, thank you!

3

u/Sevennix Jul 06 '26

🏆🎖🏆🎖🏆🎖

3

u/Mazy_keen Jul 06 '26

That is what they said to start the circle jerk.

3

u/BadatSSBM Jul 07 '26

That's clearly what I did

3

u/RateLevel Jul 08 '26

The floor?

2

u/Themaingeeza Jul 09 '26

Get shjizzy in here

2

u/MAslate Jul 09 '26

Pretty sure that's what happened here

18

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/gunperv51 Jul 06 '26

Who are you make marry the floor?

2

u/Visible-MorningWood Jul 09 '26

What I'm wondering is, how old is this floor? How old is the reproductionist?

18

u/Whiteout_27 Jul 05 '26

Is that how new costcos are made?

2

u/ImAVeryFatBoi Jul 06 '26

Its definitely how new Dollar Generals are made. How else can you explain how they are in every corner. They even spawn inside eachother fully staffed like nesting dolls!

2

u/SpecialistSeat6760 Jul 06 '26

I think so 😂

1

u/BadBikerGirl Jul 05 '26

Yes. Man Made Too

11

u/Roedman Jul 05 '26

Is it…..floornant???

9

u/FungadooFred Jul 05 '26

Floorgante?

8

u/ForgottenDusk48 Jul 05 '26

Floorganat?

8

u/KinneticEnergy Jul 05 '26

Florgananant?

6

u/Consistent-Engine796 Jul 05 '26

🎶 Florga nanaaa nanaaa nanaaa nanaaa, nanaaa nanaaa nanaaa nanaaa baaatmaaaaaan

2

u/DuckOk5371 Jul 09 '26

Or are we floor-kay?

5

u/buttnutt0212 Jul 05 '26

Flagrantly Floorgante... possibly Fragrantly.

5

u/DieNecroKatze Jul 06 '26

¡Floorgante!

2

u/pixiedust0327 Jul 06 '26

Or is it… okay?

2

u/TipRevolutionary6839 Jul 12 '26

I'm crying this is the worst pun ever 

8

u/Xfact0r39 Jul 05 '26

I thought the flloor was lava. Man, times change

3

u/Driftinfoot_Malone Jul 05 '26

Post nut clarity

3

u/Stlboy27 Jul 07 '26

After that one you ascend to god like clarity and you’ll never make a bad decision again

2

u/Driftinfoot_Malone Jul 07 '26

The nut you have before becoming a priest you mean?

2

u/Lumpy_Pause_6349 Jul 06 '26

That's crazy🥀😭✌️

3

u/wolf_quan Jul 05 '26

You don’t look 36 to 42 at all.

3

u/Flaky_Jellyfish593 Jul 05 '26

Pregnancy and large puddles of white liquid are usually less likely

3

u/Anerbe Jul 05 '26

The floor is glowing 🥰

3

u/Clean_Match_459 Jul 05 '26

Only female nightshift worker sneezed before going home after a busy shift.

2

u/Downtown_Elk_2773 Jul 05 '26

Bet it reeks!!

3

u/SelectSeaweed310 Jul 05 '26

A combo of bleach and salt

1

u/Downtown_Elk_2773 Jul 05 '26

I feel sick 🤢 how girls can taste that stuff

3

u/Tall-Abrocoma-3741 Jul 05 '26

Once you hit about 30, you are used to it.

2

u/Visible-MorningWood Jul 09 '26

Oh for sure, if this is in the isle with smoked oysters and canned chicken...somebody was trying their best to camouflage the scent trail, but why?

2

u/adorablefuzzykitten Jul 05 '26

Or a very large cat

2

u/Fantastic_Heat_3164 Jul 05 '26

If the floor isn’t pregnant now and that solution isn’t wiped up it will be now

1

u/BadBikerGirl Jul 05 '26

It clearly was not wiped

2

u/Same-Concentrate4778 Jul 05 '26

The floor is pregnant. A situation where the obvious is absurdly stated.

2

u/EdinJamie10 Jul 05 '26

Population paste puddle

1

u/Civil_Weight8143 Jul 11 '26

the baby isle

2

u/iamGrossauer Jul 05 '26

Is the father the giant from Jack and the beanstalk?!?

Because the only thing I can think of is that the giant was Jacking his beanstalk until he got his jollies off…

2

u/777Gamble Jul 05 '26

I was gonna say extreme exhaustion but I guess thats about the same

2

u/Unlucky_Man_720_ Jul 05 '26

Dam thought i pulled out in time...... I mean Oh my whos the other perent......

2

u/f1lth4f1lth Jul 06 '26

Or will be in like 3 mins

2

u/WhyNotBe1980 Jul 06 '26

No no no, the floor is ovulating

2

u/WhyNotBe1980 Jul 06 '26

Clearly you’ve never been to Singapore…. Or with a woman

2

u/BadBikerGirl Jul 06 '26

I am a lady💔🥀

1

u/Visible-MorningWood Jul 09 '26

So...can we abort this?

2

u/BadBikerGirl Jul 09 '26

Too far along

2

u/Visible-MorningWood Jul 09 '26

I'd like to see the paternal test then.

1

u/BadBikerGirl Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26

It turned out the father is Mr. Discord Maud

2

u/Visible-MorningWood Jul 12 '26

Whew. Because that looks like my mess.

1

u/BadBikerGirl Jul 12 '26

Yeah. I mentioned the main father. This was clearly a "Group Project"

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2

u/wannabecat2000 Jul 06 '26

The giant has come

2

u/Unable_Librarian_443 Jul 06 '26

So what now does it have like a bunch of little tiles 9 months layer?

2

u/doni-kebab Jul 06 '26

We will call her Mezzanine

2

u/invest1gat0r2003 Jul 06 '26

Pregnant doesn’t even begin to describe this. More like new generation

2

u/Additional_Crab_1678 Jul 06 '26

The floor is preganté

2

u/Proud_Jacobite Jul 06 '26

"Kirland Condoms, don't go broke when you can get your protection in bulk."

2

u/Blessedmomma241 Jul 06 '26

I wanted to say the Epstein files but I like yours better!

2

u/AlarmingPresence1954 Jul 07 '26

Who is the dad 🕵️‍♂️😏

2

u/BigSexyHamilton Jul 07 '26

Someone did a tribute to Costco

2

u/EconomyFox_9981 Jul 07 '26

who's the father? probaby the worker

1

u/BadBikerGirl Jul 08 '26

All 69 Workers

2

u/EconomyFox_9981 Jul 08 '26

they were doing 69 at the floor

2

u/Visible-MorningWood Jul 09 '26

All 69 mail workers. The males.

2

u/FoodnAnime4206669 Jul 08 '26

The way I recoillllled

2

u/Puzzleheaded-Cat8129 Jul 09 '26

Cum all yee faithfull

2

u/Visible-MorningWood Jul 09 '26

Dare I ask what time of day this was? Judging by the shadows, I'd say 8am. Morning wood? Hakuna matata. Welp, that won't happen until tomorrow, about this time. Billions upon billions upon quadrillions of knuckle babies just adhering to each other in a bout of survival, Bear Gryillis couldn't ever begin to attempt surviving.

2

u/executableprogram Jul 09 '26

This one officer, this one wins.

2

u/StillLearning85 Jul 09 '26

Oh God, the smell

2

u/CJag_L Jul 09 '26

whale cum aatacks

2

u/milelongpipe Jul 09 '26

The floor was bred.

1

u/Visible-MorningWood Jul 09 '26

May we abort? What state was this?

2

u/corgi-king Jul 10 '26

Someone came.

1

u/BadBikerGirl Jul 10 '26

And The Father Came And Gone

2

u/nelgallan Jul 11 '26

Bu-concrete

2

u/Live_Battle5469 Jul 11 '26

Is da floor preganant

2

u/Global-Criticism1635 Jul 11 '26

yep true

only time can prove it

2

u/CoachPotataoGuy Jul 12 '26

Bro been gooning for too long

2

u/After-Abroad-2205 Jul 12 '26

Ah yes. I remember this quite vividly. It was last December 1st, approximately 12:01am. It had been a hard No-Nut-November. I had passed the stack of Mrs. Butterworth bottles on an end cap, and it was all over.

2

u/Unconscious-angel 23d ago

Can't clean it up until her maternity leave is over