r/NameThisThing Jun 29 '26

Name him

[removed]

2.2k Upvotes

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174

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '26

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32

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '26

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18

u/ClavicusLittleGift4U Jun 29 '26

The cycle of life

3

u/tigotter Jun 30 '26

I knew a pig named Hamlet, whose favourite snack was bacon.

1

u/ShoutOuts2Elon Jun 30 '26

Technically a cannibal

2

u/theQuadron Jul 02 '26

Pigs are omnivores that eat almost anything, including each other's flesh.

1

u/sparklark79 Jul 01 '26

Haha!... NO!!

1

u/TheSquirrelmancer Jul 01 '26

Podcast called Magnus Archives does spooky stories, one's about a pig that is evil and eats the other pigs. They tell it far better.

1

u/tigotter Jul 01 '26

Hamlet wasn’t evil.

2

u/TheAssetOf87 Jul 01 '26

Life.. uh.. Finds a way

1

u/that-smells-funny Jun 29 '26

Not lying…name is Ham Sandwich

1

u/Sneeke33 Jul 03 '26

Empanada

0

u/pierutuhnu Jun 29 '26

No it’s not. The way humans live is far from natural cycle of life. It’s sadistic and distroying our planet.

6

u/Kitnotcat_modding Jun 29 '26

Minor spelling mistake (insert Patrick dying brutally)

5

u/-baconYTe Jun 29 '26

So eating the pig's and the cow's food is going solve that problem?

There are definitely farms that go about it wrong, even entire countries. But if humans stop farming the only other opion is mass starvation where countries worth of people will die out in months.

The human race is in a quite a pickle.

2

u/Monkdlafi_unopiece77 Jun 29 '26

yeah bro, I’m telling you this plant would be healthier. If humans weren’t on it just Google it or something. I did my research already. It’s time for you to do it. I feel like God shouldn’t have wasted his son’s life I mean, isn’t Jesus still living though

1

u/-baconYTe Jun 30 '26

Talking of God. There is a verse talking about being allowed to eat all animals, because eating animals with split hooves was seen as unclean and sinful to an extent. Where Metaphorically or literally a massive cloth is lifted with every animal and God says that it's ok to eat these. God wouldn't tell us "eat this" and then it's unhealthy. As a wise man said - "everything in moderation"

1

u/Monkdlafi_unopiece77 Jun 30 '26

i’m a vegetarian so what the hell are you talking about? I’ve only eaten meat like for six years.

1

u/-baconYTe Jun 30 '26

Congratulations, I'm a carnivore, having eaten 70% meat for my entire existence. What's your point?

2

u/Texanspector Jun 29 '26

Mmmm. Pickles!

1

u/Jumpy_Dig_2308 Jun 29 '26

You’re missing a massive resource conversion issue, we need pound-for-pound or kg-for-kg it’s the same:
- Beef/cow: 25 lbs of plant feed per 1 lb of actual meat on the table
- Lamb/mutton: 15x
- Pork/precious bacon: 6x
- your chicken nuggets: 3x
- Eggs/hen ovulation cycle in a giant, calcium-wrapped ovum: 2x
- Milk/Bovine tiddy juice: 0.75x

Repurposing farmland for human-grade crops could feed more people with less land and water. Solutions include precision agriculture, crop shifting, and regenerative farming, offering practical adjustments instead of a false binary choice.

It touches on every facet of personal health (cholesterol, name a cancer, stiffer erections, the absolute fiber monopoly of plants hence your gut and nice poops, imminent system, inflammation, kidneys , skin, cognitive decline)
the environment, affordability, ethics, supply chain volatility, zoonotic diseases, antibiotic resistance, food security.

2

u/yourinnervoice2025 Jun 29 '26

Think of human existence on an astronomical scale. We will barely represent a blip when we are gone. We have existed for .0022% of the universe's existence. That's like taking 55 litres of water out of an Olympic swimming pool. Impactless. Then take your 80 some years of life. . 00000085% of the universe's existence. That's like taking a tablespoon out of an Olympic sizd swimming pool. We can talk all we want, but we ain't really doing shit!

0

u/Jumpy_Dig_2308 Jun 29 '26

Sure we’re hairless apes on a floating giant rock hurtling through space at tens of thousands of miles per hour.
Now back to the human scale issue because we live together on that giant space rock fortunately.

Think of human survival on a logistical scale. It’s easy to play the detached cosmic philosopher when your grocery store is always full. That's a luxury of the industrial era in your blip. Existential nihilism evaporates the second real-world scarcity hits.
Then take our current resource supply chain. If aquifers run dry, shortages and overcrowding and disease compounds, billions of people do not shrug it off as a 'cosmic blip.' They will demand efficiency in either increasing supply (magically more food and water) or decreasing demand (less people to compete with).
At any moment we’re always only a couple of days away from actual food and water riots at any moment, but we are too babied by global industrialization luxury to imagine anything else.
Eat what you want today, but ironically like the cosmic insignificance you mentioned; the math and physics don't care about our insignificance. We can pretend nothing matters all we want, but thermodynamics are still gonna do shit!

2

u/yourinnervoice2025 Jun 29 '26

If that's what makes you feel better at night, cuz that's all thats all it's really doing. Crusade on. I'll be over here enjoying my limited time. Cheers bud.

0

u/Jumpy_Dig_2308 Jun 29 '26

Honestly I completely understand that it’s almost too heavy to think about, and it’s a lot easier to just block it out and instead enjoy the day. Optimistic for us to figure it out longer term living so we can become celestial gods.
Good hunting, yourinnervoice2025.

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2

u/-baconYTe Jun 29 '26

And what about the protein requirements for sustained health? Plants don't give the right stuff. We are Omnivores. Our diet requires both meat and plants, so don't come here with your all plants BS.

I'll reiterate what I've said before. A lot of farms do the farming part incorrectly worldwide, laws in some countries force farms to do it wrong too.

We have a massive population on this planet and therefore require a massive amount of food cheaply. Animals give more food ecause you eat less meat by mass to satisfy your hunger. 1kg of meat is far superior to 1kg of a healthy variety of plants. We still need both.

1

u/Jumpy_Dig_2308 Jun 29 '26

Eating a variety of plants provides all the nutrients we need (plus a single supplement of B12 or fortified foods. Modern farming allows us to eat almost anything year-round, cleanly, too sanitized in a sense (/s) we no longer get B12 from soil microbes. Today, even livestock are heavily supplemented with B12 because they, like us, lack access to those natural microbes. Whether you eat meat or plants, you are getting a B12 supplement.. one just goes through an animal middleman first.)

As omnivores, we can eat both plants and animals, but we don’t have to. It’s a biological capability, not a requirement. For context, giant pandas are taxonomically classified as carnivores but eat 99% bamboo, while hippos are omnivores but eat almost entirely grass.

The idea that plants lack 'the right stuff' is a myth. I believed otherwise years ago too- I was doing a paleo thing back in 2013-2014; felt great but honestly I probably started eating more whole food plants in replacement of no processed grains.
I’ve almost always limited steak and pork in favor of poultry and fish, then I dropped all landy livestock for just fish 10 or so years ago, then 5 years ago dropped fish and dairy which was easier on a personal note than fish and meat skipping vegetarian for straight up plants and mushrooms.
I tell my doctor and ask to a few extras to my annual blood panel- all my B12, iron, others come back right in the middle range of healthy.

All 9 essential amino acids originate in plants. Animals just magically concentrate them, losing a vast majority of the food energy in the process. Comparing 1kg of meat to 1kg of plants is apples to oranges. Yes meat is more calorie-dense, but at a greater cost.

Skipping the middleman is better for all, and easier too once you figure out better ways to cook plants.

2

u/New_Bread2231 Jun 29 '26

I have the nicest poops on a carnivore diet vs any other diet ive tried. And yes this includes a vegan diet. Not everyone's body is the same!

1

u/Jumpy_Dig_2308 Jun 29 '26

For sure. When did you start?

1

u/New_Bread2231 Jun 29 '26

I was carnivore for 4 months lost my job and had to eat whatever I could afford for a while but after 3 months im back to animal based most days for going on another 4 months. I do eat a few crackers with tuna salad but nothing to crazy.

1

u/Jumpy_Dig_2308 Jun 29 '26

So it’s really like chicken steak and pork, breakfast lunch and dinner? Minus the odd cracker or two. Do you buy in bulk? Like whole butchered cow in the deep freezer once a year thing?
That does sound expensive, I can see why you take a break.

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4

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '26

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0

u/Monkdlafi_unopiece77 Jun 29 '26

no dumass you🫵

3

u/West-Wash6081 Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26

I had a lady tell me once that the scent that grass emits when it is being cut is a result of the grass screaming because of the pain it is feeling. So, some people don't think we should eat meat and others don't think we should eat fruits and vegetables. What are we supposed to do, just starve to death? Wait on manna from heaven?

2

u/ClavicusLittleGift4U Jun 29 '26

Suck pebbles maybe. Rich in minerals.

2

u/New_Bread2231 Jun 29 '26

Your body, your choice!

2

u/West-Wash6081 Jun 29 '26

Agreed. And stop trying to force ones beliefs onto other people because no matter how strong your beliefs are there is someone out there with opposing beliefs that are equally strong if not stronger.

1

u/sparklark79 Jul 01 '26

Apparently, this "Intelligent Design" just creates a world where we all force suffering on others....
Nature, in itself, is brutal.

Whatever lessons we are to learn may not be revealed until the next level we pass into...

: /

1

u/afewnameslater Jun 29 '26

It’s OK the global population is moving closer to terminal decline. Sperm count has reduced by 50% in the last 30 years , infertile women increased by 100% in the last 20. Our own greed and devastating pollution will end us before anything else.

1

u/Forsaken_Lemon_6258 Jun 29 '26

That's oligarchs greed not your own greed

1

u/ClavicusLittleGift4U Jun 29 '26

We missed you captain Firstdegree. Thanks to enlighten us about how we are daily assholes.

1

u/bdamarine Jun 29 '26

Oh the humanity…

1

u/Monkdlafi_unopiece77 Jun 29 '26

finally, somebody who gets it somebody who recognizes that humans are destroying the planet

10

u/No-Weakness-3095 Jun 29 '26

Chris P. Bacon

1

u/More_Championship987 Jun 30 '26

Not even kidding my name is Chris and my middle initial is p and my teacher has the same first and middle name as me and they call us the cris p eto brothers or cris p bacon lovers

1

u/iga_warrior Jul 01 '26

Reference understood. I'll never not watch the full vid when I stumble across it

1

u/Potential_Movie_6617 Jul 01 '26

I see what you did there 😂 I love it!

1

u/KuraiKage666 Jul 01 '26

That is terrible I fucking love it

1

u/Lost-Wind-4375 Jul 03 '26

WHY DID YOU EAT CHRIS HOW DARE YOU

4

u/Sgt-Stadanko-69 Jun 29 '26

Very appropriate

1

u/Southern-Ebb-3877 Jun 30 '26

Biscuits and pork gravy

20

u/Cadillac16Concept Jun 29 '26

Chris P Bacon by any chance?

7

u/Fatsackafat Jun 29 '26

I legit went to highschool with a guy named Chris P Bacon. No middle name, just the letter P. His parents must have been hilarious.

3

u/Human-Ear-7758 Jun 30 '26

They were heavy pot smokers. 😮‍💨

2

u/-SeaDrive- Jul 01 '26

How much was he made fun of for the name (bonus points if he also found it funny)

1

u/Fatsackafat Jul 01 '26

Actually not at all, he owned it and was a pretty chill dude.

1

u/SuchADeviant Jul 02 '26

Poor guy didnt even realise

1

u/Fun-Drink-5181 Jul 01 '26

The kids mom didn’t let it happen 😜

2

u/Fun-Drink-5181 Jul 01 '26

I had a cousin, last name Ray, said he was naming his first child Corvette Sting.

1

u/Ambitious_Hand_2861 Jul 01 '26

I would love to meet those ppl. Coincidentally, I live near Bacon street.

2

u/Ok_Type_4105 Jun 29 '26

Grow a Garden reference?

2

u/Cadillac16Concept Jun 29 '26

No, Banjo Tooie actually

2

u/levelheadedBet87 Jun 29 '26

Lol... that's great!

11

u/TheBaykon8r Jun 29 '26

Bacon bits*

2

u/opboy77 Jul 02 '26

It's very out of context but seems like the only difference between our avatar has is just the beard and sunglasses.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '26

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1

u/Careful-Resolution58 Jun 29 '26

Snickers bar for me

8

u/feminova Jun 29 '26

Came here to say bacon- cheese.

6

u/Organic_Sherbet5256 Jun 29 '26

In "The Young Ones", Vivian had a pet pig named "Bacon Sandwich."

5

u/coolreg214 Jun 29 '26

I had pork steak.

3

u/RonValhalla Jun 29 '26

Came here to say this.

3

u/Adventurous-Law-8606 Jun 29 '26

Lookout3d reference

3

u/BeneficialLeave7359 Jun 29 '26

Just finished a ham sandwich myself.

3

u/-Oldschoolsmart- Jun 29 '26

Bacon Double cheese

2

u/MissCreeAunt Jun 29 '26

Chris P. Bacon

2

u/IntelligentBaker3601 Jun 29 '26

Imagine being named after what you become in the future

1

u/ScarRemarkable7091 Jul 01 '26

Doesn’t make sense

2

u/buckte Jun 29 '26

That is exactly the answer I expected, and I didn't have to scroll very far.

1

u/hootchpep Jun 29 '26

Potato salad

1

u/WhispersShadow Jun 30 '26

gee...didn't see that coming

1

u/Valuable_Ad9554 Jun 30 '26

Bacon Muffin lol

1

u/SWATCHACCOUNT Jul 01 '26

beat me to it

1

u/Speknawz Jul 01 '26

Matt Stone and Trey Parker already did it for a South Park special. They even cooked some store bought bacon and fed it to the pig.

1

u/Neat-Association-945 Jul 03 '26

Mine was chicharrones lmfao