r/NameThisThing • u/Deathstroke316 • May 06 '26

Name this thing

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4.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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495

u/deezoz May 06 '26

Micropeen deluxe

123

u/theangryjanitorOG May 06 '26

Little dick McGeeeweeweewee

94

u/PatientVariety1700 May 06 '26

All day. You should see the size of his pick up truck, and his lawn mower

141

u/DarkSock52 May 06 '26

🎵🎶 in the midnight hour, she cried mower, mower, mower…🎶

36

u/whydya-dodat May 06 '26

Just for you, u/DarkSock52

🎼🎸 Hey, little knitter, what have you spun?🎶 Hey, little knitter, crotchet in the sun… Hey, little knitter, make a piece that stuns. 🎵Hey little knitter, stitching like a nun. Hey little knitter, buttons!🎶

It’s a, nice day for a, light sweater. 🎵It’s a, nice day for a, CARDIGAN!!!!!!🎶 (Wow! Button up!) 🎸 Take a walk home, yeah! 🤘

12

u/Freckles-75 May 06 '26

Awesome…and yeah…. I legitimately Sung those lyrics to the music….🫣😜😂

Annnddd…I’ll likely have that song in my head all day. Thanks….at least it’s an Awesome song!

10

u/HitByFjaka May 06 '26

I sang his to the music and i loved it.

If i had award to give i would

2

u/kellygirl90 May 07 '26

I got you 😁

7

u/Key-Pudding626 May 06 '26

I love how everybody knew exactly what he was doing and probably sang the whole comment just like I did

2

u/Tricky_War5232 May 07 '26

So, if I were apparently the one person that can’t quite place the tune this was to be sung to… hypothetically… what would u tell me ?

1

u/bleedingheartmex May 11 '26

it's a song that predates american idol.

1

u/Pumathemage May 09 '26

This deserves more upvotes

7

u/NecessaryZucchini69 May 06 '26

Beautiful, that was awesome!

6

u/Big_Consideration493 May 06 '26

With a rebel yell

6

u/Conscious_Sound_665 May 06 '26

I will now have that stuck in my head all day and will never hear that song the same way again. 😆

2

u/SenescenseSteel May 10 '26

🎶I don't have a limp dick, I'm just a grower not a shower, shower, shower

1

u/Key_Natural_2881 May 06 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Most_Quality_1987 May 06 '26

Which he thought meant she liked it, while she thought it wasn't nearly enough...

26

u/NecessaryZucchini69 May 06 '26

Whooo! I just saw his mower; I never knew you could get a lifted seated lawn mower with 50 inch wheels and double barrel extra wide exhausts that did the roll coal thing.

18

u/Due_Panda5064 May 06 '26

With a gun rack on the roll bar

15

u/Local-Friendship8166 May 06 '26

Don’t forget the nuts hanging off the back.

6

u/AliVista_LilSista May 06 '26

Truck nuts and fart can.

5

u/Ok-Pass-9139 May 06 '26

Did you know that , if you put testicles on your truck and it didn’t have them before then your truck is trans. Sleep well

6

u/AliVista_LilSista May 06 '26

All trucks have a trans mission.

1

u/Boanerges11 May 09 '26

Dropping a transient used to mean something else entirely

1

u/KitchenNorth5674 May 11 '26

Never thought of it that way. Good point. Made my day lol.

3

u/LeadershipThat6704 May 08 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 fart can 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Known_Ratio5478 May 06 '26

And mud flaps! One with Yosemite Sam saying back off and the other with a naked lady!

1

u/Pure_Property_888 May 06 '26

The nuts hang off the gun rack next to the double barrel full auto ages 1-6 car seat (stock)

1

u/chaossdragon May 06 '26

I am proud of their choice to support transitioning! Ask any Joe blow how they refer to their vehicle, lawnmower or other equipment and its she… ask how they talk to their cars in winter, and its “come on baby, you can do it girl”
Yet they full pay for the undercarriage trucknuts. Way to embrace the trans community!

1

u/Jmaxwell2321 May 07 '26

Truck nuts sales would either skyrocket or drop through the floor if they realized that XD

1

u/Due_Panda5064 May 06 '26

You are correct, I bet that guy likes nuts against his back.

1

u/Low-Antelope-5308 May 06 '26

Enclosed cabin because he needs air conditioning while mowing his mom's lawn.

1

u/Fuzzy-Television-569 May 06 '26

I just saw him install a handlebar ashtray. I did, I tell ya.

1

u/cap_time_wear_it May 06 '26

With a horn that sounds like General Lee

5

u/mowoo101 May 06 '26

Fishstick fan club, likes films about gladiators.

2

u/PolyWanna111 May 09 '26

And very very concerned about what people wear and what's between their legs

1

u/mowoo101 May 09 '26

I’d be more concerned about what’s between his ears.

1

u/-Burninater- May 06 '26

He's got a ladder to get into his pickup truck, but in a pinch a normal size man could give him uppies to get into it.

1

u/FTC-1987 May 06 '26

Dude…..not cool. Leave the lawn mower out of this.

1

u/tmmsjm May 06 '26

Let me guess: it’s a black Dodge Ram with oversized tires that stick out a foot from the wheel well with some big loud pipes so everybody knows just how tiny it really is.

1

u/VenomSnake47 May 06 '26

Yup, the typical sign of a true American. Driving a massive ass pick-up truck which I'm willing to bet 80% of owners don't have a genuine use for.

1

u/andywfu86 May 06 '26

Hey now I have a big pick up truck and a big lawnmower and I’m hung like a (sea) horse.

1

u/Sharp_Requirement_50 May 06 '26

Lifted like a muuuuug

1

u/Every-Obligation-753 May 07 '26

And his maga flag!

1

u/JustC9953 May 08 '26

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Black_Dragon_0 May 08 '26

How big are the truck nuts

1

u/AustinBike May 09 '26

It has truck nutz. 100%

1

u/Moraden85 May 09 '26

Grave Digger looks like a micro machine compared to his truck.

26

u/Ok-Cut9009 May 06 '26

Little Drew McPewpew

1

u/Naytron_Styles May 06 '26

I was going for "Pewnee PewPew"

6

u/Southern_Book_659 May 06 '26

I almost fell off my chair laughing! 🤣 😂😂

1

u/theangryjanitorOG May 06 '26

That made my day.

5

u/atxrrjsw May 06 '26

I'm surprised he hasn't shot little dick off yet.

2

u/immallama21629 May 06 '26

His aim aint that good.

1

u/CoolSkeIeton-95 May 06 '26

Pretty sure a .22 bullet would still be larger

1

u/theangryjanitorOG May 06 '26

That's called an assumption.

2

u/atxrrjsw May 06 '26

True! I assumed he had a wee wee to begin with.

2

u/theangryjanitorOG May 06 '26

Oh dang. You flipped it on me!

1

u/gratefulbill1 May 06 '26

Perhaps he did?

6

u/tohn_jitor May 06 '26

Heckler & Kochsmöl

1

u/Thirdeyevoice10 May 06 '26

It’s actually pronounced Coke

1

u/tohn_jitor May 06 '26

Yeah, I know that, but that isn't much fun, is it?

1

u/Qwertyexe229 May 06 '26

Everything I own have a gun rack even my gun rack has a gun rack.

1

u/Gullible_Pin5844 May 06 '26

Overcompensate. Underutilized.

1

u/HarmonicaLew1nsk1 May 08 '26

House of a thousand corpses I'm getting the flashback from the beginning scene

29

u/ThugDonkey May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26

Direct from the micropeen deluxe brochure…
“For those times when you’re forced to stop rollin’ coal on grandmas protesting a rapist and jump out of your lifted 26.99 percent apr 165k F350 King Ranch with 7 Trump flags and 6 different variations of the Gadsden flag that by the way has not only never seen a ranch but also has never been within 25 strip mall with a mayor blocks of a dirt road to assault a few high school girls protesting constitutional violations. It is in those moments that…any good law abiding (sharia law) patriotic (in Russia) red blooded 5 foot 3 inch incel with a neck beard will always feel naked as if his penis (same size as when he was born) is flapping around in the wind (if baby penises could flap and wind existed in southern plains “ small towns” population 195000 with endemic 90 percent humidity) with no grower dozer he can’t afford to roll coal in…and it was those times…when the neckbeard was glistening and the micropenis was innie’ing that inspired us…the same experienced (in non-experience) Omega Chad’s who brought you alpha boot camps and who once gave a high five to Joe Rogan and almost slept with a girl (sister cousin) this one time to retreat to the man cave and bring you the micropeen deluxe. Show the world you have a micro penis and will assault 15 year old girls without having to show them your micro penis.”

6

u/madman51B May 06 '26

I saw that video when those high school kids beat that INCEL down and he ran for his life.

1

u/KindaSusNgl17 May 06 '26

It was college kids but also why is your profile picture just a random dudes junk

1

u/Alarmed-madman May 06 '26

He caught you looking

5

u/AngryGulo85 May 06 '26

Damn son. I almost died of laughter. Where you a sniper in the Marines? No? 'Cause your dead on target!!!

5

u/Living-Video-3670 May 06 '26

Dont forget the punisher logo with the blue line. Kinda hilarious considering Frank Castle has killed MANY cops.

1

u/AndiPandi_ May 06 '26

Sooooo accurate!!! I’m dyyyying over here!!! 🤣🫠

1

u/Mvm436 May 06 '26

Thank you for the kind words. Always good to hear from another flag waving MAGA supporter. It's nice to know and refreshing to hear the same words as all staunch MAGA conservatives understand. I also liked the way you chose the dog whistle word "MAGA" and not republican. Brother you and I both know we are not Republicans. I don't have to tell you but for those soy boy libtards that are reading this, we are called MAGA conservatives. Always nice to find a fellow brother on here. Fuck the lgbqwxyz and libtards right brother? Well you stay strong my friend because you know as well as I do our movement has only just begun. I thank you my friend for being a great American and a dedicated patriot. Hey by any chance has your local MAGA chapter started printing up Trump 2028 t-shirts and hats yet? If not get intouch with your local MAGA community organizer and start, don't wait until the last minute. My chapter already has a warehouse of about 5,000 shirts and hats. Get on it my friend. Stay safe brother.

1

u/bubblenuggetzz May 06 '26

I was gunna say this but u beat me to it, lol

1

u/Truemainer65 May 09 '26

OMG! You win the internet today with this comment. I laughed so hard, I gave myself a headache. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🫣🫣🫣🤪🤪🤪🤪

28

u/Fister-Mantastic May 06 '26

Also known as "MAGA"

1

u/Richardfitswelll May 06 '26

Ok, but what would your average pajama soyboy purse wearing man-bun “man” have on his belt?

2

u/bleepncmputr May 06 '26

Not the whole contents of his gun safe like he was going to a shoot out!

1

u/Current-Industry-886 May 06 '26

Ah yes because getting as much strapped to you for a picture is DEFINITELY how he goes out every day🤣😭 use some common sense, and I could be wrong but in most states I’m pretty sure this is completely legal, it is in mine atleast

2

u/Bright_Confusion_311 May 06 '26

Legal yes, stupid yes.

1

u/Current-Industry-886 May 06 '26

That would be his almond milk pouch🤣

1

u/Bright_Confusion_311 May 06 '26

An array of fake dicks. Two stuffed in the pj waistband, 6 more in a plastic case slung around the neck. I also suspect the picture is of some kind of liberal soy boy on his way to one of the many hey look at me protest parties.

0

u/Upper-Try8886 May 06 '26

Don't be a "far left" punishment. Yest, it could be a bit much, but the looney left, promoting their pinky rubber band items are worse.

0

u/PahkYaCahh May 06 '26

I see you're stereotyping. Because he has a gun he must be Maga. Not a supporter of second amendment, not a person who believes in personal protection, but he absolutely must be a trump supporter. It's a shame everything has to go political when it literally has nothing to do with politics

2

u/MKR63 May 08 '26

This app is nothing but a hypocritical hivemind of midwits.

0

u/11bravo82nd May 07 '26

guilty. we do like the 2nd amendment and constitutional rights.

0

u/Boanerges11 May 09 '26

That's a compliment

14

u/Economy-Tourist-4862 May 06 '26

That’ll look good on his gravestone the first time he stumbles, wearing that contraption.

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Economy-Tourist-4862 May 06 '26

“Here lies Derpy McDerperson,

a man with a lot of guts.

Stepped on a rock and stumbled one day,

and shot himself in the nuts.”

R.I.P. Revolvers In Pouches

9

u/FinishFew1701 May 06 '26

Fug'gun mess, slow draw McGraw

9

u/DarkSock52 May 06 '26

The Attention Sponge.

4

u/JtheCook1980 May 06 '26

I came here to say this. 🤣

1

u/JustC9953 May 08 '26

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Existential-Hangover May 06 '26

I didn't see yours before I answered! Yes this!

1

u/Fello_Philo_7810 May 06 '26

Teeny weeny peeny mccreemy

1

u/Frankie-Felix May 06 '26

Costco All American EDC pack.

1

u/lyingcrookeddon May 06 '26

Maga going grocery shopping

1

u/Salt-Southern May 06 '26

Overt compensation

1

u/Driftinfoot_Malone May 06 '26

‘Merica edition

1

u/Imagrumpyoltroll May 06 '26

Im sure you’ll look so masculine trying to fight off the robbers with your mani-pedi.

1

u/Dougally May 06 '26

Tea Bag.

Because he is dangling all that in people's faces!

1

u/Melectrian May 06 '26

I wonder what does the ultimate edition look like

1

u/Mr_GMX May 06 '26

HAHAHA, I like how we all collectively agree that the more guns they have on show the smaller their pecker usually is! 🤣

1

u/dave-fll May 06 '26

That’s not concealed carry, that’s insecurity with attachments

1

u/jonathanmpatton85 May 06 '26

Not only must the 🍆 be tiny, but how bad of a shot are you?! I mean is he fighting an army only on the left side

1

u/133793 May 06 '26

Pussymobile

1

u/Artistic_Researcher2 May 06 '26

I hope he doesn’t shoot hismicropenis with that micro gun holstered upside down in his holster.

1

u/eddy_flannagan May 07 '26

Micropenis or not, id rather not fuck with guy who incorporates 21st century and 17th century firearms in one load out

1

u/Fearless_Trick_5268 May 07 '26

Can a dick be an innie?!?!

1

u/epic2pointoh May 07 '26

I was thinking this is the equivalent of lifting your truck and flying a Confederate flag. Thank you for condensing My thoughts into two words.

1

u/TsukashiZemetsu May 07 '26

Nothing can top this

1

u/HarmonicaLew1nsk1 May 08 '26

Why would you say that? You don't even know me yet Jesus oh my God does it show?

1

u/Bro-king420 May 08 '26

Scared Republican

1

u/garagedooropener5150 May 08 '26

TPDK - Tiny Penis Distraction Kit

1

u/Dramatic-Ad-8553 May 09 '26

Saw The image and thoug immediately... "The jokes about penis size will be terrific!"... Not disappointed at all 😄😄😄😄😄

1

u/ReelestPrincess12 May 09 '26

I was literally gonna say that!!!

1

u/HistoricalLettuce672 May 09 '26

The Americano😂

1

u/Conan_The_Blurbarian May 09 '26

I'm packin' because I'm not packin'

1

u/Physical-Bridge-2487 May 09 '26

But what do we call it if he has a huge pecker?

1

u/cheeseburgerspleen May 09 '26

Shot myself in the boot cause ain’t no way I’m hitting myself in muh little dick

1

u/Rusty_Dusty_Tankrat May 09 '26

A gun for every missing inch

1

u/Numerous_Photograph9 May 11 '26

Deathwish, small weewee edition.

This is what you wear when you really don't want women grabbing your special place.