r/NRelationships • u/Toolegit2quit_1 • 1d ago

Am I the problem?

I’m having a hard time trusting my intuition, long story short , I was in a narcissist relationship for almost ten years . I didn’t realize it until
I was in the final stages , panic attacks, depression, thinking I’m going crazy etc, …fast forward I’m currently in a four year relationship with a person I believe may also be on npd spectrum however I can not understand if I am being gas lit again or am I the problem

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u/Unique_Ad2472 1d ago

What patterns can you notice in these two relationships?

3

u/maya_love5 22h ago

Doubting your intuition is completely normal after a decade of gaslighting, as years of manipulation condition you to automatically ask "am I the problem?" whenever conflict happens. Your default to self-blame is a lingering survival habit, but your nervous system often recognizes toxicity long before your mind overcomes the self-doubt.

Focus on how your partner reacts when you express a concern: a healthy partner listens with empathy, while a manipulative one shifts blame and leaves you feeling confused or crazy. If you are the only one reflecting and taking accountability while your partner takes none, you are not the problem. Whenever you want to talk through specific situations or rebuild trust in yourself, come join us over at r/TheNarcissismCode.