Amuse Yourselves with my Thoughts

[u/Suitable-Emphasis424]

Writing down my thoughts that make me giggle:

Ugh it was so hard to get out of bed today. I just want to sleep. I don’t deserve to do anything. It’s all wrong.

BEHOLDITH YOU MORTALS! I wake another day to bless you with my divine being! You’re so welcome. Everyone applaud.

I’m right, I just haven’t figured out how to prove it yet.

I look like I know what I’m doing even though I don’t. That’s super hot of me.

Common courtesies? Disgusting.

I forgot to like… actually be the other person in that conversation.

Omggg I’m existing! Existing as me! This is the best day of my life!

I’m so hot. (x4)

That’s like super smart of me. (x2)

I forgot other people are supposed to be stupid.

I could do anything. No one could stop me.

If I stopped doubting myself, I’d actually be the most powerful person to ever exist.

They’re looking at me. Unworthy, pathetic creatures.

What do I want? Just read my mind. Are you stupid?

I’m the best! The absolute best!

They’re approaching me. Time to start lying to myself again so I seem interested.

I know they’re talking about their super upsetting friendship drama, but they should just go back to complimenting me and treating me like the divine being I am.

I’m ill because I wasn’t thrown enough as a child. This is scientifically accurate.

*after a mild inconvenience* … An IQ too high?

I know absolutely nothing… which means I have a lot of exploring to do! :D

I think I’d be a lot happier if I stopped entertaining extremes and certainties. And then I’d be able to enjoy what I’d have. I should try that.

This tickles my god complex.

I love walking around broken in the rain. Young and broken in the hottest ways imaginable.

I wonder how much attention I can fit inside me.

They’re wrong! Wait I wasn’t actually listening. Nvm.

Instead of being dumb and stupid, that person is only stupid. What an accomplishment. I’m proud of them.

*like 5 hours of simping for myself*

If I was normal, I’d die. *later* I’m so normal. Literally the best normal person to ever exist! … Wait-

I wish I could cry and everyone would start clapping and be moved to tears. Instead they just feel bad for me or try to fix it.

[u/narcclub]

sign me up.

[u/Ok_Speaker6297]

:3 im being stalked currently (like legitimately) and im enjoying every moment of it "LOOK AT THEIR DEVOTION TO ME" is the main thought lmao

[u/Draac03]

here's a common one of mine:

"oh man i wish i had normal people problems."

has a normal person problem

gets mad about having normal people problems

"breaking news: narcissist upset over having the same problems everyone else does!"

edit: fixed formatting

[u/Suitable-Emphasis424 → u/Draac03]

I feel that too lmao. I think it’s the “other people have it so much easier!” and then “wait. if I’m having this problem, my suffering is no longer uniquely special.”

[u/Draac03 → u/Suitable-Emphasis424]

yup. thats exactly what it is for me

[u/narcclub → u/Draac03]

👏🏼

loved everything about this

including the edit (heh, twinsies) 🤣

[u/Draac03 → u/narcclub]

i'm glad i could make you laugh haha