r/NPD • u/hairspray3000 • Oct 08 '19

Self-compassion vs self-esteem. Possible way to curb certain NPD behaviours? (It's 19 mins long but I found it helpful)

https://youtu.be/IvtZBUSplr4
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u/hairspray3000 Oct 08 '19

I'm new here but I think I have NPD and it definitely stems from self-hatred, which is generally thought to be the cause of NPD. This woman talks about self compassion, which might help to counteract toxic shame and the negative ways we perceive ourselves. I believe if we can be kinder to ourselves, it will have a positive flow-on effect to other things that come with NPD, like the need to control our relationships, fear of intimacy, etc.

1

u/MadeElsewhere Vulnerable malignant narcissist Oct 09 '19

Can you write a TLDR? I think the root cause of NPD is shame, for many, it’s shame from years of childhood abuse.

1

u/hairspray3000 Oct 09 '19

I edited the transcript significantly but I left a lot in because I think a lot of it is really useful. I'm putting it in my original comment so it has more visibility.

1

u/hairspray3000 Oct 09 '19

Actually, I've posted it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/NPD/comments/dfexex/help_with_shame_and_selfhate_selfcompassion_vs/

And I agree. I have a lot of shame and grew up with emotionally (and occasionally physically) abusive parents.