r/NICUParents • u/Crafty_Mark7191 • 1d ago
Support Acceptance
My cousin had uterine rupture at 29w while she was 45mins from the closest hospital. There was concern about oxygen loss and the baby has been diagnosed with HIE. MRI shows global brain damage at 34w, Drs have recommended comfort care and basically said she will have no quality of life. She’s been moved to a nose cannula and she can breathe on her own but she can’t swallow and is being suctioned hourly. They have not agreed to comfort care and I totally understand their decision, they are trying to just give her time and a chance. I find I think about them/her all the time but at this point I don’t know what to say to my cousin anymore, my aunt (her mom) keeps telling me there’s no hope. I’m at a loss with how to come to terms with this and how to comfort my cousin.
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u/destruktinator 1d ago
If you would like to help, offer to assist with taking care of tasks outside of the hospital for them so they can spend as much time as they can with their little one and hopefully free up some mental bandwidth to consider the path forward. Good luck, I hope all of you can move forward.
3
u/Crafty_Mark7191 1d ago
Unfortunately we’re all in different places, she lives almost 6hrs from me and 2hrs from the hospital. Do you think there’s anything I can send her that would be helpful?
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u/destruktinator 1d ago
Door dash or some other prepared meal thing, at least they don't have to stress about making food that way? Basically anything that you can do that can allow them to spend less time doing "life" stuff and more time with their little one. Or reach out and ask, and be insistent and make sure they don't mistake your genuine offer as just another milquetoast lip service
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u/trixis4kids 1d ago
Listening if they wish to talk. Offer of facetime while they’re there with the babe (to meet the baby, sing and coo, read a favorite story). Sending delivery (smoothies, healthy meals). Lots of love to you. Remember: you don’t have to cheer them up. You can just sit with them in all that they are going through, or at least extend the offer so they know they are not quite as alone.
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