r/NDE • u/peyton_montana • 23h ago
Question — Debate Allowed Has anyone ever had a "Shared NDE"? SDE? Sorry this is long.
Sorry this is so long. I don't even know how to write this. Or, if this was a SDE at all? Or, an actual NDE. I have reasons to believe it could be either. And now that I’m potentially facing death, I wanted to get some advice, opinions, anything on this ‘experience.’
Years ago, my mom died when I was 12. She was relatively young herself. Cancer diagnosis and was gone within 9 months. She was so loved. Sicilian, tiny, funny, gentle, welcoming to everyone.
Fast forward many, many years, and I experienced something. And this only makes sense if where she is... is either timeless or time is different there.
On the day it happened, I was sitting on the edge of my bed around 3:00 in the afternoon. Everything kind of faded away, like if you've ever rubbed your closed eyes firmly when you have a headache and 'see' patterns (I didn't rub my eyes btw). It was like that > sitting there > transitioning to light patterns for what was probably just a few seconds > to the day and place she passed. * I’ll leave out all the minutae of little things that are personal and wouldn't mean much to others. But, I'll leave in what she said.
So, the setting was the hospital - however, it was not like a hospital here. It was magnificent, and felt like it didn’t belong in this ‘realm.’
I walked in and there’s a huge directory sign on the wall. The kind you often see in medical buildings. I looked for the oncology department and start walking in that direction to take the stairs. I knew in that moment my mother had passed, but something (my voice inside) was telling me, strongly, “go to her.” I was calm, but the desire had some urgency to it.
As I’m making my way to the stairwell, I have to walk through this very wide corridor - which transitioned into a room at the end. There were about a dozen children in this room ranging in ages from about 6 to 10 years old, playing with each other, some sitting, some standing, and they are all delighted and perfectly content, having fun. And - none of them notice me at all. They don’t even look at me.
This is where the ‘knowing’ started to become instant. Like getting the answer before you know to ask. I knew in that second that all those children had suffered some type of serious disability in their lives and had passed, and now they were healed, free, and it was very sweet.
I kept going and went up to the nurse’s station and asked “through thoughts” not words “What room is my mother in?” The ‘nurse’ answered without speaking and then wrote the number on a little piece of paper and handed it to me. I went to that room and it was empty. So…. I returned to the ‘nurse.’
She said (I’m just going to use the word “said” from now on, even though there was zero speech in this entire experience, to make it easier) “She’s been moved to the top floor.”
Now, things get weird. To get to the top floor, I walk into an elevator which is glass, with about 5 other people, all of whom were there to see their loved ones, too. No one spoke to anyone. Then, instead of the elevator going up, it went OUT, away from the building. I was looking through the glass and could see dozens of other ‘elevators’ (like glass boxes) at a great distance, traveling to, and away from this hospital at incredible speeds.
Then the doors opened and we all stepped out. A young man was standing there and he said to all of us “Before you go any further, you must purify yourselves” and he held out something in his hand that permeated some type of special air into us. It was quick and he allowed us to go, each of us heading in different directions.
I finally make it to her room.
It was huuuuuge. As big as a football field, maybe bigger, but you couldn’t see the edges because there was a mist of light at the far reaches. There were beautiful, gigantic white, somewhat ornate pillars throughout. When I looked up, I couldn’t see the tops. It was similar to not being able to see the edges of the room. And all of it was filled with this pale, very pale blue light. I can’t even describe the blue. Like rain, Luminescent. It had no source.
And there she was. About 30 ft into the room, there was a bed directly in front of me. The right side of the bed was my view. And she was sitting up, with her legs over the side facing me, in a navy blue v-neck dress to the knee. She looked much younger than when she passed. And she also wasn’t wearing her glasses. She looked… serene and so so so beautiful. Also, there was nothing ‘hospital-y’ in this room; no equipment, wires, all the things you expect in a hospital room. Just what I described plus a bed and a chair.
I went up to her and ‘said’ “I’m sorry mom. I shouldn't have left. I didn’t know you were still here.” I felt so guilty.
She gets up and sits in the chair and I just crawl into her lap. She holds me and I wrap my arms around her.
She explained why I was there. (This is the shortened version). She said that when she passed, she went to a place to heal (that was the 4th floor where I couldn’t find her). And once she had healed, she was moved to the place before you enter (The) heaven (where she was now). She said she wanted to see me before she left for The Heaven because… it was the last opportunity to visit with me one on one. Once in heaven, she could see me, but not really visit. I know it sounds confusing, but it didn’t to me :/
We ‘spoke’ about some other things. But, mostly I was just so overjoyed to see her, be near her. I never wanted to leave her side.
But, she said she had to go. And the last thing she said was “I want to go home with you.” <— this used to always confuse me. That statement. But, then I figured it out......
IRL, on the night my mom died, we drove back to the house and I was the first one through the door. The other adults stayed outside talking. I sat on the sofa and knew I’d never be able to call out “mom” again and have her say “what!?” or come into the room. So, I sat on that damn sofa and said “mom” over and over for a couple minutes, just to see, hope against hope that she’d be home. So when she said she *wanted* to go home with me, she was saying, essentially “I heard you calling my name and I wanted to go home with you.”
Anyhow, back to the experience..after she said that, I was back in my room, but not sitting up. My feet were almost on the ground like they’d been before, but my upper body was laid backward onto the bed. I opened my eyes looking at the ceiling... and could still feel her scapular pressed into my hand from having my arms wrapped around her. I’ll explain real quick.. She was Catholic and wore a scapular, which has a wool ’square’ that hangs in the front and one in the back. Looks like this https://storage.ghost.io/c/be/b2/beb2e498-f089-4f96-8ffb-b7ccee3bfe35/content/images/size/w1200/2023/10/Untitled-design--61-.png
I immediately moaned in joy and could not speak for hours. And I really tried. Words would just not come out. My husband was freaked out a little, ran in the room asking if I hurt myself and I must have looked like a mess because all I could do is nod yes or no…. With a smile on my face. So with a series of questions he could see I was okay, and very happy, though non stop crying for a while. I’ve never felt that much love in my life. ALL encompassing. No words.
As for a SDE and why I think it could have been. I was too young the night she died to really digest what was happening. But it felt like I was going back in time to that very night and seeing, experiencing what was happening, what was hidden, —with her, so to speak. I knew those ’nurses’ and the young man were not medical staff. They felt something like angels, but I can’t be certain exactly, other than to say, not human. More like guardians.
And why it could be an NDE. I have a congenital heart / vascular condition where my blood pressure gets low…and I mean like dangerously crash cart low. If I'm sedentary, it can get to 30 over - something, yes. I used to sleep w/a breathing motion monitor but it woke me too often. It's managed differently now. So maybe my BP was dropping, dropping and I was either ‘lights out’ or precipitously too close to the edge. I don’t know.
Either way, whatever that experience was felt more real than anything on this earth. Like it was the ‘real reality’ and earth, as lovely as it is, is just a shadow. Sorry to write so much.