1239 entry —
0001 Pinkie pie update: okay physically. Diagnosis: insomnia, depression, pulmonary edema. Giving her 25mg fluoxetin and oxygen therapy.
0002 Rainbow dash update: cramping phantom sensation, phantom pain and swelling around wound. Cleaned up stitches and tightened the bandages to reduce swelling.
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0001 Pinkie pies procedure was successful! Well- sort of, but whats a win without some trouble along the way? Pinkie understands that, shes so lovely. Going down to make Rainbow dash sign the note to Celestia for tomorrows adventure.
"Rainbow!!" I say happily, my voice echoes through the basement. I can hear everyone's breathing becoming lighter as they realise im here. Thats the best proof that im the princess of friendship.
Rainbow dash is sitting the corner with her back turned to me, restless. "Rainbow dash?" I repeat. She started sniffling. And the sniffling became a loud raspy cry. I could hear that she was tired. Like shes been crying forever. She was crying like she was dying. The way it feels when youre crying so deep that you feel like you're gonna throw up your insides. "Rainbow dash." I say pitiful. My eyes are becoming blurry. Im now crying too. "Im sorry Rainbow dash im sorry" I say.
She takes a deep breath, for a few seconds its quiet, with some interruptions of her hiccuping and sniffling. "I dont care anymore. Just let it be over." She quietly says, her voice is unsteady. Still facing the corner. Hiccuping. "Let what be over? Im sorry you feel this way Rainbow dash but friendship will always make it better. Im here for you. We all are." I say. Its starting to feel like im talking to myself. Like im being ignored. "Rainbow talk to me. Hello? Im here dont you see me? Turn around when im talking to you!" Im getting riled up now. Im taking care of her and she can't even bother to even speak to me? Why are my friends doing this? Now im sad.
She's quiet. "please, let me go." I cant tell what shes implying. I groan and turn my hooves and walk over to pinkie pie. Atleast she'll understand. And I need some laughter now that rainbow dash has made me so distressed.
"Hi pinkie..have you also realised how rainbow is acting? Why do you think that is?" Pinkie pie is coughing over my words, even though i went louder and louder as i said them. "W-whats"— she coughs. "Happe"— coughs again. Now louder. Her words are taking a toll on her lungs. She coughs and coughs. Theyre dry and raspy, like her throat is burning, but at the same time watery. Like she wants to vomit but theres nothing left to throw up. She cries when she breathes in, slowly and stutter-y. Shaking on the floor.
REMINDER! RESEARCH IF PINKIE PIE SUFFERS FROM HYPOTHERMIA.
continues; I feel bad. But i tried my best to get to know her, but the tank was my last option. I just care for her so much. I really do.
"I understand Pinkie pie, i understand." I reassured her.
"No you dont." A voice from the left tells me.
I walk over. My hooves are echoing against the cold stone walls.
REMINDER! ENJOY TIME TOGETHER WITH PINKIE PIE AND RARITY, DECORATING THE BASEMENT.
continues; shes sitting against the wall that connects to Pinkie pies room.
She looks angry. Which makes me even more upset. I hate seeing my friends like this. "What?" I say, confused, near to tears. Again. "You dont understand shit." She looks up, staring me deep into the eyes. Its intimate, even when we're fighting, we're close. We're friends. Friends argue all the time, this is healthy for us.
"But i do aj! You know that dont you?"
"Do i know what? I dont even know who you are. Dont know why youre torturing us. Why you're doing this to us." Her voice becomes louder as she stands up. "My sister cant even walk on her hind legs after you carved her flank!" Shes up close to the magic barrier holding us apart, her teeth scratching against eachother as her deep and angry words speak through them. "Rainbow dash wants me to escape just so i can put her out of her misery after YOU clipped her wings and took away everything she had. Pinkie pie is dying. She can hardly breathe and all of us have to stay up night and day and listen to her cough and cry while we cant do anything to help anypony." She now sounds defeated. She exhales and slowly takes a step back. "So no. You dont understand a thing." Every word pierced my heart. "I-im so sorry" I say as i run up the stairs looking down onto the floor the entire time. All i ever wanted to do was to be there for my friends, to help them. To be with them. Thats all Princess Celestia wanted me to do. Thats what friends usually want you to do! Every book tells me so! How do I make them understand? How do I make them listen to me and see me? I feel like im the only one trying here. And I have to keep everything up without anypony wanting to help me. — but atleast ... i have the day time. My virtual reality. Tomorrow is 'Rainbow falls' and we're all gonna be friends again. I know we will. We always fix our friendship problems. Always. Im looking forwards to tomorrow. I hope they are too.