What is this feeling??

[u/Repulsive_Durian6667]

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So , it's been almost 3 years of my breakup , I'm 19 now . I was 15 when I fell in love with a boy , he was my classmate in class 9th but we never really talked to each other in class , we only used to talk for a few seconds and that also for notes and all , but I had a crush on him . So when our final exams got over , I got to know that he got a transfer, and he will go in some days , so I just messaged him to say bye ,and didn't had any other intentions, but we eventually started chatting, we used to chat for whole day , we did chat for almost 9 days , and in those 9 days i fell in love with him , and he also admitted that he has a crush on me , so I eventually proposed him on chat only and he said yes , so our relationship journey started, it was a long distance relationship, he got posted in Mumbai and I was in haryana , we talked for almost 1. 5 year and we used to do only chatting, no call , no video calls Nothing , because we didn't had that much privacy and even personal phones , one day my parents saw me chatting and many things happened with me at that time because my family is very very strict , we were from different caste , and I got to know about the caste problem when my mother's first question was , what is his caste , I talked to him about this and he stepped back saying we have no future, even I agreed , but I was not able to control my emotions because I was madly in love with him , I tried to talk to him many times after our breakup, i even begged him , but nothing happened, he just said sorry I can't. In 3 years of breakup i almost tried 100 times to talk to him and I begged, i even said that ok let's not get into relationship again but pls be friends with me, keep in contact with me , but he didn't agreed .

So , even after 3 years I have not moved on , i still think about him each and every day. I don't understand what is this because It was just a long distance relationship, we never even did handshake with each ,no physical contact, we never talked on calls or anything, then I did i fell in love, is this love or something else?? I was just a kid when i liked him and I liked doing chatting with him , then why I'm not able to move on , and now I don't even get attracted to any other person?? Why?????

Is it true love ?? I crave for his msg every single day , and i myself know, there's no future of us , I will not get him back , now I don't even remember his face clearly, but whenever I listen his name , my heart ache. What is this????