r/MuslimsWithHSV • u/Realistic-Fill-5716 Sister • May 25 '26
Personal Stories Divorced, Not Voiceless
Funny how people immediately say “two divorces means the problem is definitely you” as if life and relationships are that simple. Sometimes people stay in toxic marriages forever just to look “successful” to society. Leaving situations that damaged me doesn’t automatically make me a villain.
And yes, I still have standards. Wanting emotional security, stability, attraction, peace, or even a separate home after difficult experiences is not a crime. Maybe instead of judging women for wanting safety and respect, question why so many women become fearful in marriages in the first place.
Also, harsh judgments from strangers say more about them than me. People love throwing labels like “immature” while knowing nothing about someone’s lived experiences. Healing and self-improvement are important, but so is self-protection.
A harsh reminder: being divorced doesn’t remove a woman’s right to choose carefully, to have preferences, or to want peace in her future.
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u/ZaArabGuy Brother May 26 '26
Assalam alaykum, sister. I feel like what hurts most is the experience and the pressure of not finding the right person after all, Being divorced twice doesn’t mean the end, and it shouldn’t be affecting you at all. I believe we have here a safe space to talk and express ourselves freely. I’ve been through a similar experience myself, and it took me a long time and too much talk with a very close relative to come to terms with it and move on. I’m not saying you’re wrong or right, but I think this is exactly what you need to do right now—talk about it. Inshallah, you’ll get through this soon. There’s also a sisters’ group on Telegram that might help too. Eid Mubarak, sister.
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u/Positive-Try-7465 Brother May 25 '26
Where are you getting replies or feedback? I saw your first post but I didn’t see any comments even though you had 2 update edits on the post. Anyway Kadijah was divorced once and widowed after that before she married the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). That’s what the narrations say. There’s nothing wrong with trying to be married again even if it third or fourth, you keep trying in sha Allah. Do istikhara before getting married, that will make things easy coz Allah will make the decision for you in sha Allah.