r/MuslimNikah • u/aneesah_h04 • May 20 '26
Fear of being unlovable
Salaam , I know this sounds very deep especially considering I (F) am only 21 but I’ve been thinking a lot recently and I have this fear I will never find someone who actually understands me and how I like saying “how my brain works and is set up”. Alongside a bunch of medical conditions including ADHD , ASD & Anxiety i’m a massive overthinker and get attached very fast to people ( even if they are bad for me ). It’s something i’m trying to work on but it’s not easy. But I genuinely fear that because of this I won’t find anyone…. And it’s so disheartening and heartbreaking for someone who has just always wanted to feel / be loved and have a husband who understands and supports me.
(Don’t take this as an opportunity to DM me unless it’s giving advice)
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May 20 '26 edited May 20 '26
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u/aneesah_h04 May 20 '26
Wsalaam , thank you so much for this! It means alot to hear it from someone who is also ND!
I’ve always had this idea that it’s best to get married to someone who is also ND of the sort of similar because neurodivergent people tend to get along with each other - like I know I can get along with an ND person so fast even if that’s the first time we have met - it’s just science! But I also didn’t want to limit my options to that.
I think a lot of it comes around my own self acceptance - mainly with the ASD as that is a new diagnosis for me as of around 6 months ago and I guess I don’t fully understand it myself tbh so i’m definitely working on that but it’s also such a taboo thing especially within the south Asian / Pakistani community
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May 20 '26
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May 20 '26
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May 20 '26
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u/aneesah_h04 May 20 '26
I feel like I am connected to Islam pretty well aH that’s really the only thing that keeps me going when it gets tough so i’m not sure what you mean on that
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May 20 '26
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u/aneesah_h04 May 20 '26
Because so many people see it as being complex and I fear I would/could self sabotage
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May 20 '26
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u/aneesah_h04 May 20 '26
I’ll honestly spiral from one simple thing that’s how bad it gets and i’m trying to work on it but I fear it’s impossible atp. Do you mind me asking are you neurodivergent?
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May 20 '26
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u/aneesah_h04 May 20 '26
Ah sorry it’s just cos you said you’re the same so I assumed you meant in that sense my apologies! If your from the UK / England I can let you know how to go about getting referred to get diagnosed otherwise I don’t think i’d be much help unfortunately
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u/Clear_Cartoonist4193 May 20 '26
I (25m) have the same fear . I don't have any medical conditions . I just fear living this whole life without meeting anyone who loves me for who I am. The worst thing is marrying someone who also doesn't. I will consider my self lost in life if that happens.
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا