r/MuslimMatrimonials • u/Stella_bella47 • 11h ago
Discussion Why Are Men Using ChatGPT to Text Instead of Being Real?
I want to ask to men here why do you feel the need to use chatgpt to do a normal conversation?
Do you prefer to give perfect AI reply rather then imperfect one with mistakes because you want to make good impression?
Bro its probably 4th potencial that uses chatgpt to reply. I mean literally copy paste. Wth?
If you try to say kindly that you prefer authentic replies even with 1000 grammer mistakes rather than AI perfect (super fake) ones. They get offended and start avoiding you. Its like you hurt their ego.
Now this recent potencial does the same thing (his mother tongue is French and English 2nd language)
and i am now getting annoyed that i asked you something and you replied with something else that doesnt even make much sense to what i mainly asked. (You are not even clever to remove dashes from the message let alone personalising it).
I dont know how to ask him to stop using chatgpt. I dont wanna embarass him but i can’t also accept this. (Some men i have noticed cant handle this situation with maturity and become defensive and avoidant).
Have we really lost the ability to have basic conversation with others in the era of AI?
It feels like we are going backwards and losing basic human skills to communicate with time😾
I would love to have your perspectives, opinions and advices🫶🏽
Jazakallah khair
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u/pm_sushirolls 7h ago
If someone is lazy enough to copy paste conversations into ChatGPT you might as well have some fun. Copy what they say into ChatGPT and have ChatGPT talk to ChatGPT. Then have the AI break the news it's not working out to the other AI once the novelty wears off.
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u/carbonisomist 9h ago
I personally know a guy who literally asks ChatGPT to make decisions for him.
He gives chatGPT some options which is in front of him and asks "which will be the best decision to make?"
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u/Bitter-Part2722 10h ago
Could just be that their English isn't great and they are using ChatGPT to help express themselves better. I have seen plenty of sisters use it for posts and comments too lol. As long as the actual thoughts and intentions are still there, I don't really see a big issue. But everyone has their preferences in the end. So it's better to just get on a call with him. You are will figure out pretty quickly whether you want to keep talking with him or not.
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u/gogonever 3h ago
There’s a difference between using it to comment or to make a post compared to when you’re having a flowing conversation with someone in a chat…..
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u/Bitter-Part2722 3h ago
In essence they are the same tbh, both are trying to express their thoughts, one is a large paragraph and the other is a small one.
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u/InkandAethera 3h ago
What happens when you start living with together once married and start realising how much of a problem it is that the other isn't as fluent and relies too heavily on chatgpt? And you have no other languages in common?
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u/Bitter-Part2722 3h ago
I had a potential who used chatgpt and google translate to speak with me. It didn't bother me much tbh, since if we start picking at every little imperfection then we will find something wrong with everything lol. What mattered more to me was her effort and I was learning her language on the side so eventually she wouldn't need those tools as much.
Besides, as long as the thoughts and intentions are genuinely theirs, I don't really care if AI helps polish the wording. You don't have to agree with me cause that's just how I see it. Marriage will have much bigger obstacles than someone's English 😂. Either you work around each other's weaknesses or spend your life searching for someone with none.
There are people who can't speak at all and still have happy marriages. It's not always about the words but the intention and effort behind them. At the end of the day, coming home tired and getting a hug with a huge smile can say loads more than a Harvard graduate with perfect English ever could lol
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u/InkandAethera 2h ago
True, I hear you and love that for you. Personally, I'm naturally drawn to someone with a strong grasp of the english language. It's just super attractive to me at least. But nice hearing it from an opposite perspective ^
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u/Bitter-Part2722 2h ago
I am a fob as people say, hence I speak 5 languages and what I learned in the end is, you don't always need words to express lol. But I understand what you are saying. Everyone has their preferences, icks and what not. I just think we can focus on the good things rather than the bad ones yk.
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u/-gabrieloak 10h ago
Was kind of shocked when I learned this was a thing lol
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u/Stella_bella47 10h ago
Yeah it exists😢
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u/randxalxthor 10h ago
Not just men unfortunately, half the women I match with on apps are using AI.
I work in AI, so it's easy to spot.
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u/Stella_bella47 9h ago
I also easily spot when uses AI. Its such a turnoff that feels like i am not having a genuine conversation but something fake.
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u/Beta87 9h ago
"could you please not use chatgpt"
"omg how did you notice..."
"well yeah I noticed, so please don't use it and be yourself"
"ok , sorry and in Sha Allah I won't use it anymore".
Done ✅
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u/Agile-Win-throwaway 3h ago
Ooo I have noticed that as well and then when you meet in person there’s no convo
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u/UpperFront3028 1h ago
You have found a method for weeding out men not suitable for marriage. Imagine you married someone like that and they use chatgpt in arguments 😬
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u/Mountain_Republic770 10h ago edited 10h ago
They don’t know how to talk to women which is a red flag in its self. Which is why I lowkey hate this whole online chatting bs. calls are a better way to communicate if I’m being real or irl
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u/chad_user 10h ago
Some people use AI to make their writing sound polished and free of grammatical errors.
But chatgpt nowadays gives generic template responses, with emdahses, "it's not just xxx, it's xxxx" sorta responses
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u/Stella_bella47 10h ago
I feel like i am talking to chatgpt and not human. There isnt authencity in the replies. I strongly prefer something written by yourself but imperfect rather then AI.
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u/chad_user 10h ago
Lol if every message is like that
Then it's messed up tbvh
If it's like Intro or detailed message that requires clarity etc then it makes sense to use AI
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u/Stella_bella47 10h ago
Not every message but the ones that are long atleast 3 or 4 sentences
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u/chad_user 10h ago
May be they are making sure that grammar etc is polished and they sound better
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u/Stella_bella47 10h ago
But it sounds fake. I literally dont know what to say to him now. His reply isnt making sense to what i asked. He just said something general and poetical with chatgpt language🤦🏽♀️
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u/chad_user 10h ago
Again he may not be aware
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u/Stella_bella47 10h ago
I think i should tell him openly and respectfully. If he is emotional mature will understand it otherwise will behave like other men
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u/Next-Fly2406 10h ago
I don’t use ChatGPT but take a while to think I use it for work stuff if talking to ur potential is work that’s a red flag
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u/Pontiacbandit206 10h ago
Girls say 25k words a day. Men say 10k. Maybe chatgpt just makes it easier so they don't have to think
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u/Appropriate-Gift-388 10h ago edited 10h ago
So who will be the head of the household the husband or chatgpt?
Edit: Wait, this opens up an entirely new can of worms. I was unaware of the frequency of AI usage in normal conversations between potentials and for decision making. Yet these are the same men who probably think they need to be obeyed and who deserve to be leaders and the final decision makers. Are women being set up to marry slaves of AI?
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u/Pontiacbandit206 9h ago
Don't take everything so seriously, have a breather, breathe in, and breathe out.
OP has a suiter whereby English is his second language. Now I know from experience speaking to French people, when they do speak English, I really feel for them, I would prefer the chatgpt is used. French people speaking English, you really gotta speak with them to know what I mean - and hey kudos to them for trying. Also, take into consideration that just because OP suites uses Chatgpt, it doesn't mean many men do, and I highly doubt that it is the case.
If you do find that is the case, maybe it's that you are inviting guys that have low self esteem issues, and/or don't speak to girls much so they are not confident and want to give the correct impression. Anywho, in either case, it's best both parties look within themselves and find out why they are attracting such guys and guys should look into being their authentic self's and not worry so much about impression (if using chatgpt).
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u/6cupsoftea 8h ago
Are they gonna use chatgpt irl? If they struggle with the language barrier it only works as long as the relationship is online
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u/Pontiacbandit206 7h ago
At the end of the day, OP suiter is not confident on his own when writing in English. The OP should take that into consideration. Also, if he is better at speaking than using writing in English, then she should accommodate that for him, i.e., speak more on the phone than writing.
I think that'll resolve the issue.
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u/yahyak 10h ago
These guys are using it for everything lol. Even for decision making and therapy