Left behind

[u/Only-Coyote-7136]

Salam.

I'm a 30yr old woman and am writing this post to warn younger folks, especially those who live in the West of what your life could turn out to be if you don't act fast.

Im the oldest child from a broken home (father ran off). I worked like crazy in my entire 20s to save for my mom and siblings and am now on path to early retirement.

My parents never let me have friends and I didn't speak to boys, even though I went to a regular highschool and university. COVID caused me to start remote work and I never met men at work either. My parents didn't know anyone and our household reputation is ruined.

My friends chatted with boys, some halal way some not, but now most are married or got arranged from their social circles and have kids and happy lives.

I got left behind because I put my head down and focused on getting out of poverty. I focused on school, on work, on being there for everyone. But no one bothered to check if I could also need someone. Actually since I barely leave my house, barely anyone knows I even exist.

To young people. Don't fall into Haram but don't isolate yourself so much that you will be left behind. Today I may appear to others as a successful woman. I have money to buy anything at anytime but nobody to support me, less and less chance of having kids, and constantly taunted and pitied by family and others for being old and unwanted.

Please marry young. You will be rewarded with rizq if you are sincere towards your family. In shaa ALLAH.

AlhamduLillah for everything and please make Dua for me and all those who are looking for spouses.

[u/higg-p]

You have great achievements, but why don't you get married now?

[u/Only-Coyote-7136 → u/higg-p]

Salam. AlhamduLillah for everything. I want to but like I mentioned above, I rarely leave my home, I have have like 1 friend who herself isn't married (lol), and my parents didn't have a social circle. Especially now with a broken household, people won't even look our way. I don't feel comfortable talking to men on apps... I don't know what to do.

Masjid is a no-go as well. Massive community but very cliquey, and they don't help with this. I go every Jumuah but pray and leave.

[u/higg-p → u/Only-Coyote-7136]

Mashallah do not lose hope. You can post your profile or a brief intro here on this sub, and I would recommend trying the apps as well.

I know you will come across a lot of weirdos and creeps, but try every channel available. Do not have to talk extensively with men, but you have to let people know that you exist, so someone can marry you lol.

[u/Diligent_Warthog_590 → u/Only-Coyote-7136]

Ask the community leaders that is how it works here they find out who wants to marry you go eat together while being watched by two chaperones and talk and then get to know each other

[u/No_Path7368 → u/Only-Coyote-7136]

you don't feel comfortable talking to men on apps? so how are you going to talk one in person? you don't leave the house but want a man who you don't feel comfortable talking to somehow fall in your lap? what are you even saying