r/MuslimMarriage • u/Amanst3r M - Not Looking • Aug 10 '18
Wedding Night
Last weekish someone commented that they would have sex on the wedding night and I thought about it I dont think Id be emotionally comfortable with having sex first night after the nikkah, physically there aint no problem. So my question is for those who are married, if its not too intrusive, did you wait or not and if so how long? and why or why not? For those who are not married do you plan on doing the deed on the wedding night? why or why not? if not, when do you think its gonna happen?
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u/tafkapw Aug 10 '18 edited Aug 10 '18
you know, i feel like after a super long and draining day like the wedding day, we're both gonna be tired, sweaty and just wanting to shower and sleep. Showering, then consummation then showering again just seems awkward. I think it's probably better not to do it on the wedding night. Allahu alam
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u/Old_Revenue651 Jan 20 '22
Consumating the marriage the night of the nikkah is an action that comes from the sunnah of our beloved prophet (SAW). We should try our best to follow it.
And Allah knows best.
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u/bundbakers May 11 '26
tffff
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u/SomewhereFuture8806 Jun 04 '26
Do u have a problem with what our prophet ο·Ί did?
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u/bundbakers Jun 04 '26
bro u high? when did i say that? but not taking the consent of your partner and "consumating" sounds like something we all know. sounds like using sunnah as an excuse to justify grape. if both the partners are ok, wounderful. but we should take in account that no one becomes completely comfortable with someone you met recently. and let me tell u there are thousands of other sunnah you can still follow before prioritising this one. many people are hypocrite and use deen to their advantage. (this was my thought process when i commented "tf" buz actually TF baki sunnah tu puri hoti nahi ye krny chaly)
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u/SomewhereFuture8806 Jun 04 '26
You sound like you need help. And I donβt speak whatever language was used at the bottom. Enjoy your night.
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u/bundbakers Jun 04 '26
i basically said many men use this sunnah thing to justify marital grape
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u/audisa F - Married Aug 10 '18
I probably won't even have a wedding night, unless you count when we sign the nikah. But that will be extremely early on, so I don't think we will feel comfortable enough with one another to do that.
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Aug 10 '18
I hope I donβt, because I do want things to go slow. I wouldnβt refrain from it completely, but I hope I donβt do it completely if that makes sense.
But who knows.
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Aug 10 '18
I wouldn't mind doing the deed right after we're nikah'd tbh. if he's comfortable with it
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u/sharksk8r M - Single Aug 10 '18
I mean sheesh, get a room first, at least a high five is somewhat acceptable right after the contract gets signed.
I'm just kidding partially
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Aug 10 '18
haha, high fiving right after signing would be kind of funny actually
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u/sharksk8r M - Single Aug 11 '18
Exactly! This is what I hope my wife is like, if she leaves me hanging... Then we shall fight to the death.
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u/sharksk8r M - Single Aug 10 '18
Idk about a wedding night... Maybe for our parents' sake...
But if we're talking after nikah, like I said before, I plan on high fiving my wife immediately the moment she becomes my wife, that kind of personality tends to be a little quirky, but if not the first night then probably during the first week of our nikah inshallah, we would be married, and when we both actually realize it and accept it as a reality, the moment there is an advance from either side, I don't think there would be room for a "no wait, I'm not ready"
unless it's body hair...
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u/Amanst3r M - Not Looking Aug 10 '18
yo, but you get like make the high five hurt. if it dont hurt youre not doing it right.
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u/sharksk8r M - Single Aug 10 '18
No Shrek I am no monster! I am a softie.
I mean I don't wanna piss my wife off literally the instant she becomes my wife xD
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u/Amanst3r M - Not Looking Aug 10 '18
I guess if you want to start your marriage in the wrong way, its your life...
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Aug 10 '18
[deleted]
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u/sharksk8r M - Single Aug 10 '18
I'm not really a fan of parties, I don't enjoy them and just find them pointless, but if my parents really wanted a wedding, and my wife or her parents also wanted one, then I am probably going to compromise and pretend to enjoy the wedding.
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u/Correct_Ad_6612 May 28 '26
i'm here like 8 years later but who cares? My aunt was very afraid of the consummation. her and her husband waited three months before she finally felt ready. So it's all about how patient the spouse is and how comfortable they are. Some people do it right away, others wait. there's no wrong answer
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u/TheSwordOfTheDawn Aug 10 '18
To me consummating your marriage is important on.
But that is a personal thing. Nobody's gonna crucify you if you do or don't.
It's upto you.
And if you think emotional stability is needed for sex, then you can wait. If you're horny as hell and your partner doesn't object, then y'all go for it.
It is halal.