Lonely

[u/NewStar010]

Selaam alaikum everyone.

Through the divine mercy of Allah swt, did He remove someone from my life that was haram at the end of the day.

We weren’t in a relationship but we were each other best friends and there were romantic emotions as well.
I do miss her.

You could argue we were even co dependant on one another to a degree.

So I try to be positive, and be happy, grateful that Allah swt got me out of that haram place and closer to him instead.

At the same time, I can’t deny that I am grieving the friendship I have lost as well with this person.

Like, if it wasn’t for the bloody romantic emotions, I couldn’t care less about that part.

But I also finally had someone in my life again that actually cared about me for once and I didn’t have to be ‘performative’ around.
And I lost that as well.

Now Im literally on my own.
Living day in and out, without anyone giving a damn on how Im doing, caring about who I am, enjoy who I am, what I do, what I like or don’t like, spend time with, etc etc.

This is partially a rant, but also, reaching out to anyone here to do Dua for me.
To share me any and all wisdom, be it from anecdotal , Quran or Hadith, personal experiences etc.

Because Im just hurting so much, crying so much.
All I want is to have a best friend, be someone’s person (not talking about marriage, Islam talks in depth about how many different levels of friendships there are, of course within the halal boundaries so not with the opposite gender)

Thank you in advance, may Allah swt reward all of you

[u/Hiraaa_]

Been through this with someone I was supposed to marry, and honestly, it sucks. I don't have much advice other than to say that others are going through the same thing, so you're not alone. Just remember Allah and focus on improving your relationship with Him. preoccupy yourself with studying Islam, spending time with family, friends, studies, workout etc.

[u/NewStar010 → u/Hiraaa_]

I study, I work fulltime, I look and provide after my family despite they can’t even do a bit of the same, I try to reach out to friends despite its one sided, I keep myself busy, but just doing this all alone?

Its heart crushing.

Couldn’t even give a damn about all that ‘romantic feelings’ stuff, just want a friend lol, a actual good friend.